Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Gabe
“ W hat even is this perfection?” Molly asks, as we step inside the upscale Hayes Valley boutique.
“It’s your surprise,” I say, winking at her, loving the flush that rises on her face.
“I get a surprise? I love surprises.”
“Oh, I remember. I remember everything about you.”
“I’m beginning to think you really do,” she mumbles, glancing around the store.
We’re the only customers, and I take Molly’s hand, guiding her to the back where the dressing rooms are. As soon as we step behind the curtain, she gasps and her eyes light up. I grin at her response.
It’s set up just like I asked. There are rolling racks along one side with dresses in every material and color of the rainbow and displays set up with shoes and accessories along the other. Plush white carpet covers the floor, and a pink couch is set up in the center of the space with a table in front filled with cans of Diet Pepsi, iced peppermint mochas, and Molly’s favorite black licorice and Reese’s Pieces.
“So…what are we doing here?” she asks.
I pull her in to face me and brush a curl behind her ear. Her hair is down and wild, just begging me to run my fingers through her curls. Ever since the plane, I can’t keep my hands off of her. I know there’s still so much unsaid between us, and I have a lot to prove to her. I saw the way she froze for a split second when I called her mine on the plane, and I know she’s not where I am yet. I’m determined to let her steer this ship, and I’m a patient man, but it’s like I need to be touching her all the time to remind myself that she’s really here and I’m not dreaming.
I dreamed of her so many times over the past ten years.
“Okay, so there’s something about the building dedication tomorrow I haven’t told you yet.”
Molly glances around, a smile on her face. “If it’s the reason I’m currently standing in a fashion lovers paradise with my favorite snacks on the table over there, I’m sure I’ll love it.”
“It is. Emma had the idea to make the dedication into a gala to fundraise for my women in STEM initiative, and the university was game to run with it. It’s fancy. Fancy means you need a dress, so I’m taking you shopping. A friend of Amelia’s owns the store, and I called in a favor. It’s ours for the next couple of hours.”
Molly’s grin has a sly edge to it. “A private jet, a driver, and now a VIP shopping trip? You sure know how to show a girl a good time.”
I lean in and press a kiss to her forehead. “Only one girl.”
When I pull away, Molly’s face turns serious. “You know I don’t need all of this, right? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love it. But I liked you before you invented a phone, and I like you now. Just for you, not for what you have. Or, you know, all of this.” Molly waves her arm around the room.
“You like me, huh?” I keep my voice light, and my smirk plastered on my face, trying not to show her how her words are affecting me. How much I didn’t realize I needed to hear them.
Molly sighs dramatically. “I tried not to, but you’re kind of irresistible. I think it’s the glasses you pretend you only need for reading and driving. And the superhero T-shirts.” She glances down at my Star Wars T-shirt and smiles.
“I like you too.”
This time, she leans forward and kisses my cheek. “Of course you do. I’m fantastic. Now, do I get to try on these dresses or what?”
“Any one you want. Or all of them. It’s your day, Rory.”
“And what are you planning on doing while I do this?”
“Oh, I’m planning to sit my ass right on that couch like I’m front row at Fashion Week. Put on a show for me, Rory baby.”
She narrows her eyes at me, studying my face. “You know I really like fashion, right?”
“Of course. That’s literally why we’re here.”
“So you know that means this could take a while. There are a lot of dresses here, and I’ve never been particularly decisive when it comes to anything except for my work.”
I turn her towards the racks of dresses and wrap my arms around her from behind, dipping my head to talk into her ear. “I could watch you forever, Rory. Try on as many dresses as you want. Try on every dress in the store until you find the perfect one. This whole afternoon belongs to you, and I just want to be wherever you are.”
“Fuck,” Molly breathes. “I should be asking you how you’re even real. This is like something out of a movie.”
I tighten my arms around her. “All I want is for you to be happy. You spent a lot of years unhappy because of me. I want to make up for it now.”
“I want you to be happy too,” she says, leaning her head back on my shoulder. I can feel the sincerity in her words.
“Rory, I am standing here with my arms around you. Earlier today I literally tore your underwear off your body. I licked your cum off my fingers and watched you lick mine off of yours. I get to spend four uninterrupted days with you. I promise you—no one has ever been happier than I am right now.”
Molly turns her head, grazing my jaw with her lips, and I can feel her smiling against my skin.
“Well, I do aim to please. Now, go sit that excellent ass on the couch. I have some trying on to do.”
“This one is definitely it,” Molly crows from behind the curtain separating the fitting area from the rest of the room. I see her feet do a little jig and smile at the visual. Watching Molly try on dress after dress and her obvious enthusiasm for the whole excursion is the most fun I’ve ever had. We’ve been talking, drinking coffee, eating too much candy, and two hours have never passed faster. It’s definitely not because I’ve gotten to ogle her body in every style of dress under the sun. Absolutely not. Except it definitely is because, fuck. The number of times I’ve had to adjust myself and talk myself down from storming that dressing room and fucking her against the wall is…a lot. All the times.
“Well, let’s see it, Rory baby.”
“Nope. You’ve seen enough. The final decision is a surprise.”
“Not all of us like surprises, you know.”
“When you see me in this dress, you’ll get over it because wow is all I have to say. I look amazing. Everyone in that room is going to be all, wow, Gabriel, your fiancée is smoking hot .”
I’m mostly used to the little thrill I get every time she says the word fiancée. Except no, I’m really not used to it at all. I know it’s fake, but I’m having a hard time convincing my heart of that. And my dick. We really want it to be real.
“You don’t need a dress to be smoking hot. You’re gorgeous every day.”
Molly opens the curtain, fully dressed, with a garment bag hanging over one arm and a shoe box in the other. Her smile hits me right in the chest, and her eyes are bright and full of fun.
“Flattery will get you everywhere, my friend.”
She walks over to the couch and sets the dress and shoe box down, then flops down next to me, turning sideways so we’re facing each other. Grabbing a Diet Pepsi, she pops the top and takes a long sip.
“So, we’re in San Francisco, and the gala isn’t until tomorrow. What’s the plan? I mean, besides fancy private shopping trips.” She grins at me and grabs a handful of black licorice.
“What makes you think there’s a plan?”
“Because you’re you. You plan. Even if you hadn’t spent the last few weeks doing things like buying me a fake engagement ring and overseeing my home repairs and making sure I’m caffeinated in the morning and fed at night, I’d still know you had a plan. It’s one of my favorite things about you.”
It makes me feel all kinds of ways that she still sees me so clearly. Remembers who I was—and knows it’s who I still am. It’s these little moments more than anything else that give me hope that what we’re building now is something new and strong. Different from what we used to have but even better because it’s now.
Not able to sit next to her without some kind of connection, I pick up her hand, lacing my fingers through hers. I do have a plan, and it involves kind of a big ask. Something I haven’t had the courage to bring up yet. But now is as good a time as any. Except when I open my mouth to ask her, what comes out instead is just a stream of extremely well-thought-out words.
“I was wondering if you could come with me to do something. It’s kind of a big thing, and I’ll understand if you don’t want to do it because we’re still new and we’re not even officially anything yet and I don’t want you to think I’m trying to put any pressure on you. I swear I would never do that, and I want to go at your pace, but we’re here, so I thought I’d just ask, so?—”
“Gabe?” Molly breaks me out of my rambling and squeezes my hand.
“Yeah.” I suck in a breath stare down at the couch.
“Look at me.”
I slowly lift my head and lock eyes with her. She sets down her soda and takes my other hand in hers.
“Whatever it is, I’ll want to do it. All you have to do is ask. It’s you and me. So, ask me a question, Gabe.”
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Can you come with me to visit my parents?”
“To the cemetery?”
I nod, and Molly’s eyes soften.
“Of course, I can. But why would you think that’s a big ask?”
“Because I haven’t been to the cemetery since their funeral.”
I expect Molly to look surprised, but she doesn’t. She just looks curious. “Why not?”
I shrug a shoulder because the answer is both simple and very, very complicated. “At first, I didn’t have the time or the headspace to go. Everything was such a mess, and I was just trying to get from one day to the next. But even after things settled down, I stayed away. Every time I thought about going, I just couldn’t make myself do it. It’s ridiculous, I know, because the life I was living—raising my sisters, not having you—was all because they died. My entire life was one big reminder of their death. But it was like if I didn’t go to their graves, then I could almost convince myself they weren’t really gone.”
My voice breaks a little on the last word and I blow out a breath, looking away for a second to pull myself together. Except Molly doesn’t let me. She puts a hand on my cheek and turns my head back towards her. She studies me for a second, then leans forward and wraps her arms around me, holding tight. My breath gusts out, and I wind my arms around her waist, burying my face in her hair and taking comfort from her familiar scent and the way her body feels pressed against mine.
“It’s stupid,” I murmur into her ear.
“It’s really not,” she says, carding her fingers through my hair in a comforting rhythm. “It’s been your way of protecting yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that. So why now?”
I pull back just enough to see Molly’s face, keeping my hands on her, my thumbs drawing circles over her waist. Her hands drift over my shoulders and down my arms, her touch grounding me.
“Because it’s time. I want to let that part of me go. I’ll never stop missing them or wishing they were still here. Wishing their deaths didn’t cause a chain reaction that broke us and hurt you and left my sisters and me floundering for so long, trying to build a life without them. But we’re all still here. My sisters are thriving. I can do and be and have whatever I want. And all I want is you. To have you. To be yours. It’s time for me, Rory. It’s time for me to say goodbye to them for real, so I can live this next part of my life in the best way I know how. For me, but for you too. For us. So we can be something new. Something now. I want everything with you. It doesn’t have to be now, but one day. It’s useless to pretend I don’t. I can’t pretend. All I want is you,” I say again.
Molly leans forward and brushes her lips over mine, then brings our foreheads together, sliding her hands around my neck. I close my eyes, love for her rushing through me strong and true. I could lie to myself and say it’s the remnants of ten years ago love, but I’ve always been a shit liar. I love her, right here and right now. It’s the enormous, wild, forever kind of love. Molly Jenkins is my forever. I know it with more certainty than I’ve ever known anything in my life. I hope one day I get to be her forever too.
“I want you too. I’ve never not wanted you. Even when I hated you, I wanted you.”
I chuckle a little, despite the heaviness of the moment. “Look at us, talking about our feelings. We are adulting so hard right now.”
Molly smiles. “Let’s adult a little more and go visit your parents. I think they’ll be happy to see you.”
Emotion clogs my throat, and all I can do is nod. With eyes full of understanding, Molly picks up one of my hands, pressing a kiss to my knuckles before pulling me up off the couch. She turns to pick up the dress and all her stuff but before she can, I tug her back to me, wrapping her in one more hug.
“Thank you,” I mumble.
“Anything, Gabe. Always.”