Chapter 48
MARK
Shane wasn’t joking when he said I should give myself a night or two to acclimate to the altitude. Given that I wasn’t leaving Lex for any longer than I had to, I flew in late last night so I could get here early and be home by tonight.
The sun is high in the bright blue sky, and the crisp mountain air is enticing, but it’s the football in my hand that has my body humming.
I toss another ball to a trainer, getting my shoulder warmed up.
Rob and Shane stand on the sidelines, yacking it up. One’s low coaching voice is direct and firm. The other is like a kid let loose with a hundred dollars in a candy store of opportunities.
A couple of receivers finish warming up and approach. “You gonna get the ball to us?” One of them grins at me, knowing I’ll drop the ball right into his hands.
“Get your young ass down the field,” I say as he laughs, taking off in a route.
I drop back and let the ball fly. Bam! There it is. The other receiver takes off. The ball spirals long and far, hitting my target, and he pulls into his chest before jogging back.
We work for the next thirty minutes, and in that time, I’m ready to be back in it. The rhythmic schedule, rigorous training, and the comfort of consistency.
I’m ready to leave the nightmares of my childhood behind and start new again. But there’s a deep-seated fear I’m trying really hard to ignore that wherever that might be, I’ll be doing it alone .
Visiting with my mom did nothing but remind me of everything I endured and what I never had. I’m reliving every slap, punch, burn, and the visions of my mom half-naked, strung out on her momentary drug of choice.
My skin turns cold and pricks with sweat as my stomach surges into my esophagus. I fall back, launching one last ball, as my chest tightens with the idea of never escaping all that’s resurfaced. All the horrors I thought I’d buried deep enough, they’d never touch me again.
I take some deep breaths and stretch my shoulder, then join the coaches on the sidelines.
We discuss my training schedule, which was only slightly delayed while I transitioned to Ohio. The coaches and GM relay at a high level their goals for the team next season, and then we shake hands while they take some time to evaluate.
“They’ve got a hell of a setup,” Rob says, and I think he might be skipping his way to the parking lot. “You might have just scored yourself a deal here, kid.” He slaps me on the back.
“I told you. I’m not signing any deals until I know Lex and Bree are coming with me.”
Rob’s forward motion halts, and Shane’s large hands move to his hips.
“They won’t wait around for you to button up your personal life,” Rob states, but he’s treading lightly. “You heard what they said. They have every intention of making it to the end this season. You’re key in getting them there, but they’ll want to get started yesterday.”
I run a hand through my hair. My previous high tanking back to reality.
“Rob, I have two babies that could be born any day. My sister is now my responsibility, no matter what any papers say. She can’t leave the state without Lex and I obtaining permanent guardianship.”
Rob rubs his jaw, and Shane looms with his usual stoic stance. He can’t say a word when he would do the same damn thing every day of the week if it were Maggie and the kids.
“What will it take to get things moving?”
I widen my stance, crossing my arms over my chest. “Time. I’ve talked to a lawyer. It will never move fast enough.”
He nods, looking defeated. “Well, I’ll be in touch, but I’m going to be honest. This feels like I’m spending a hell of a lot of time and energy chasing a deal for nothing. ”
I bristle, and Shane must see it because he finally breaks his silence.
“Mark, you need to get back and talk with the social worker to see what can be done.”
I already know the answer to that, and so does he, but rehashing it won’t help things right now.
“Boys, I’ve got a plane to catch, but Mark . . . ” He pauses for a second, looking at me like he’s unsure what to say. “I’ll let you know if I hear something.”
I nod as he climbs in his rental, and I’m left with Shane, who I know has something to say now that we’re alone.
I toss my duffle in the back of his truck next to my suitcase, waiting for his words of wisdom.
“Come on. Let me hear it. Whatever you’ve been holding back.”
He starts the truck, his head turning toward me, and I ignore his gaze. “You’re too damn good to quit.”
He lets it hang there, and I want to punch something.
“But I’d do the same thing, and I’d never look back.” He puts the truck in drive. “I’m proud of you. I know you’re facing a shit ton of pain and suffering that might feel like a beating all over again.” He turns out of the parking lot. “I’m damn proud to call you my brother.”
I stare out the window, willing the growing itch in my throat to settle the hell down.
Silence lingers as he navigates us toward the airport, but eventually, he cuts in. “I wouldn’t mind having you as a neighbor. Then we just need to get Sean here so we can survive all these kids.” I allow only a moment to think about what that would be like, but then tear it down. “Shit, man. You’re going to have two.”
A smile tugs at my lips, knowing no matter what happens, I’m the luckiest man there ever was.