It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas
Prologue
From: [email protected]
Subject: Another bloke bites the dust
Hey Livvie,
Who knew it was possible to hate two blue ticks so much?
Yep, you’ve guessed it: yet another bloke has gone and done a runner
and left me on read for over thirty-six hours now.
I hate this. It feels like all I ever email you about these days is
seemingly decent men who end up ghosting me.
The latest one’s called Billy, though telling you his name is
pointless as he’ll probably never come up in conversation again. But
seriously, Liv, he seemed so bloody nice.
I got a good vibe from him the moment I saw him. Even his first-day
mugshot that I uploaded to the intranet’s staff directory caught my
attention as he was actually smiling, rather than trying to look all
cool and aloof like so many other new starters here.
We were getting along great. And spent the whole day (and night…)
together on Saturday. But, since Sunday morning, I’ve heard
n-o-t-h-i-n-g from him. Zilch. And now, on this freezing Monday night at
the start of December, I find myself on my sofa weeping along to those
American made-for-TV Christmas movies in an attempt to distract myself
from those chirpy little checkmarks. I’ve stared at them so much I can
even see them when I blink, as if they’ve seared themselves onto the
insides of my eyelids.
I know I used to make fun of you for watching these cheesy festive
films on Channel 5 on Sunday afternoons when you should’ve been doing
your homework, but I’ll admit there is something about them that seems
to make me forget about All Of The Shit. Despite the fact they’re all
pretty much the same, I can’t help but invest in the tropey character
arcs, gasp when they tell me to gasp (OMG, he’s secretly SANTA?!) and
swoon when they tell me to swoon.
As ever, the one I’m watching as I’m writing this email features a
seemingly carefree and career-focused single woman who’s despatched to a
picture-perfect town for some obscure December work assignment. After
spending mere days there, she concludes – of course – that her life in
the big city she was perfectly content with the previous week is now
utterly meaningless compared to the small-town simplicities presented to
her by a kind-hearted local fellow.
I’ve watched so many of these identikit films over the last few years
that I’ve even devised my own bingo-based drinking game to play as I
watch them. I must admit I never thought ticking off Christmas movie
clichés with nothing but blankets, cushions and a sticky shot glass for
company would be my life’s greatest joy just a couple of years off my
40th birthday.
I just wish that… fuck, what is it that I wish? I have no bloody
idea. Except for one thing, of course. But that’s the only thing I can
never have.
Right, I’d better go. I’m out with Elle after work tomorrow, which,
as you know, means I ought to bank as much sleep as possible while I’ve
got the chance.
Missing you, as always.
Love,
Me xxx