Twenty years earlier
From: [email protected]
Subject: Fresher(’?)s(’?) Week Hell
Where does the apostrophe even go, Livvie? WHERE?! It seems that nobody
here at Cardiff Uni can decide (or cares), as there’s a total lack of
consistency on the various posters, flyers and banners around the
campus. It annoys me every time I see it, but no one else seems to be
bothered (least of all, Elle). I know you’ll understand, though. Your
grammar might not be your strong suit… but being right is, hehe. So
please do some research so I can start to rest easy, safe in the
knowledge that there’s a right way and a wrong way! Ta.
OK, so the word ‘hell’ is a bit of an exaggeration when it comes to
how I’m finding freshers’(???) week, but, blimey, it’s been an intense
start to university life. Elle is basically in her natural habitat,
constantly surrounded by blokes while I awkwardly linger and try and
make conversation with the mates of who(m)ever her latest conquest is.
But it’s hard enough for me to make small talk with sober people at the
best of times, let alone with drunk people when ‘Brown Eyed Girl’ by Van
Morrison and the Baywatch theme tune are blaring through the speakers at
the student union club on repeat. The only thing for it is to, well,
drink. I’ve already had two hangovers that wiped out the entire day (do
NOT tell Mum and Dad! Ha, as if I need to say that).
I’m sure Dad told you and Mum all about my room. It’s pretty decent.
I mean, it’s tiny but it’s nice to have a space to myself (finally!) and
having an en suite feels proper posh, especially as loads of other halls
around the campus don’t have them. Mind you, it’s so tight in there I
could have a shower while pooing. Dad probably also told you that me and
Elle are in the same flat, in adjoining rooms! In classic Elle style,
she managed to pull some strings over the summer and kept it as a
surprise for when I arrived. It’s nice to have a familiar face
around.
Lectures haven’t started yet but I’ve had to select a few extra
modules. Elle convinced me to sign up for some of the ones she’s doing
so we could go together. There are also lots of clubs and societies I
can join. Elle has put our names down for the student newspaper, and I
might look into the creative writing group once I’ve settled into
university life a bit more.
How’s good old Scarnbrook? I know I’ve only been gone for a week but
I already miss it! Especially the view from our room. All I can see out
of this window are a brick wall and a load of bins.
Right, I’d better go, I’m running out of time on this library
computer and the person next in line is giving me evil looks from the
doorway.
Please reply soooooon! I’ll try and get another computer slot booked
in for tomorrow so I can check.
Love from meeeeeee xxxx
Date: 03/10/2005
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Fresher(’?)s(’?) Week Hell
I can’t believe the main thing on your mind right now is GRAMMAR.
Amelia Jane Allister: LET YOUR HAIR DOWN AND HAVE FUN!!!!!! THAT’S A
LIVVIE ORDER!!!!!
Yes, Dad told me about the adjoining rooms. Like – is that what you
even want?! I mean, it’s one thing going to the same uni as Elle, but
now you’re going to be in the same lectures, doing the same newspaper
thing AND practically sharing a room?
I know you don’t like me bringing this stuff up, but pleeeeease
promise me you’ll do some stuff for YOURSELF, yes? That creative writing
club sounds amazing, for starters, and you should sign up for it
immediately WITHOUT TELLING ELLE. You do know that’s allowed,
right?!
Scarnbrook is Scarnbrooking, but home isn’t the same without you,
Mills.
Right, I’ve got some STUPID HOMEWORK to do before double science
tomorrow.
Reply when you can!!!
Liverrrrrrrrrrrrrs xxxxxxx
P.S. As soon as you’ve read this, walk away from that library computer
and go and sign up for the creative writing club!!!!!
P.P.S. The possessive apostrophe goes after the ‘s’ in ‘freshers’
because there is more than one fresher – I asked Mr Anderson in English
today. He was in shock as it was the longest conversation I’d ever had
with him that didn’t involve the word ‘detention’.