Chapter 5 #2
“I didn’t?” She sounds genuinely confused.
“Oh well, sorry. But yes, it’s for Les Mis.
There— Stella! I gave you an avocado this morning and you didn’t want it.
DON’T TAKE BECKHAM’S. ” Theo’s voice switches into mommy-mode and then switches right back, something I’ve learned to get used to.
“There isn’t a specific role in mind, but let me try and set something up ASAP and I’ll email you this week.
June, please tell me you can stay a few extra days. ”
My stomach does a little flip, and for the first time in a very long time I’m excited about a role.
My hand instinctively touches my throat.
It’s been a year or two since I sang in front of an audience, but Theo has been adamant that I keep that skill polished so I’ve continued consistent voice lessons.
Maybe being here, at least right now, isn’t such a bad thing.
“I can stay.” I try not to sound too excited. “Just let me know what I need to do. I’ll be here.”
“Amazing. Okay, let me— Stella! There is a banana on the counter—you can have the banana. Leave Beckham’s avocado alone— let me make some phone calls and then I’ll be in touch,” she says, and then hangsup.
My memory is sharp. It’s a gift and a curse.
I can remember a face from anywhere, I always know where I left my keys, I remember not just how people made me feel, but what they said.
And even though it was five years ago, I remember clearly the last time I stood in front of 74 Perry Street. Even though I wish I could forget.
The yellow leaves on the oak tree to my right are in the early stage of metamorphosis, on the cusp of turning orange, reminding me how I miss seasons.
How I miss change. I have an urge to touch its bark but control myself.
More nostalgia is the last thing I want, but being here feels exactly as it did before.
It’s funny how the world turns, changes through the years, yet a structure surrounded by brick will stand still in time.
At the top of the block, there’s an older couple walking their dog. A few doors down, a father follows his child dressed up for ballet. The street is as undeniably charming as it always was, and I’m lucky I was able to call it home for years.
My lips press together as I brace myself for the emotions I know I won’t be able to control once I walk through that door. It’s already unlocked and on one hand, entering feels natural. On the other, it feels like I’m trespassing.
Cautiously, I turn the knob, and hold my breath at the sight.
It’s home. Except it’s not. I’ve failed to remember that this is an active Airbnb listing.
Who knows how many people have gone through this door in the past five years?
It’s redecorated, just as Mara showed us in the pictures, but it feels like there has been a whole other lifetime within these walls. I guess there was.
The interior design really is impeccable.
A maximalist’s dream and at the same time, still cozy.
It’s a delicate balance between turn-of-the-century details and a modern style, timeless, almost. I cross the mosaic tiling in the foyer, toward the bookshelf filled with colorful novels, leather-bound books, and plants.
I hang my purse on the stair banister and take the same steps I used to take countless times down the hallway into the kitchen.
It’s then that I catch Adam in the backyard on the phone, which brings an all-too-familiar feeling of comfort.
The saying “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” is proving to be true, because he’s pacing, wearing a dark green sweater and jeans, looking like a goddamn Ralph Lauren model.
He catches my eye and nods at me, holding up a finger, signaling he’ll be inside in a moment.
I take a seat at the kitchen island, which has always been the heart of the home, as Adam enters through the back door.
“Hey, sorry about that,” he says.
I shrug. “No worries.”
He starts opening the cupboards, and he looks comfortable. This feels comfortable, as if we do this all the time.
“It looks like everything’s mostly stocked still. Do you want a coffee or tea or something?”
But we’re not here to have tea and catch up, we’re here to figure out this arrangement.
“I’m fine.”
His eyes tentatively catch mine and he leans back against the counter. He pulls up his sleeves, and I look away when he reveals his forearms.
“This kitchen will take some getting used to,” he says as he looks around.
I’ve wanted to fawn over the kitchen since seeing the photos. The marble and the green backsplash with the gold hardware? It’s beautiful. But I stop myself. It’s unsettling how effortless this all feels, how it’s almost too easy to pick up where we left off.
“It’s nice.”
He crosses his arms, a dead giveaway that he’s just as uncomfortable as I am. “So, how have you been?”
“Good.” I nod, purposely keeping my answers as short as possible. “Mostly just working.”
“I saw you in the trailer for that new show,” he says, and I wonder what that must be like. For my face to not now be an old painting he was once familiar with, the details slowly having faded as each year went by. “ Swindlers. ”
“Oh.” I give a weak smile. “Well, don’t get excited. It’s already canceled.” I realize it’s the first time I’m not embarrassed to tell someone.
“Sorry.” His voice is so smooth and deep. Almost like velvet.
“It’s all good,” I say. “On to the next one.”
“It seems like you’re doing good out there,” he says.
“How have you been?” I say, changing the subject. “Where are you working now?”
He takes a beat before answering me. “Alden. It’s a resta—”
“Oh, I’ve heard of that place.” I straighten. “I feel like everyone’s been talking about it. It’s like the hottest restaurant right now.”
I think of the endless number of odd jobs Adam took working at diners and hole-in-the-wall food joints.
Now he’s a chef at one of the most popular restaurants in the city.
It’s a strange feeling, being happy for someone and at the same time knowing they got all they wanted the minute you left their life.
He just smiles and runs a hand behind his neck. Which makes his sweater rise a bit, revealing some skin and a trail of hair above his pants. Dear God, it’s just as distracting as his forearms.
“So.” Adam clears his throat. “I went through everything that Mara sent. Had my lawyer look at it too. It’s all legitimate.” He reaches for a folder on the counter and passes it to me. “Printed you a copy too, just in case.”
The sudden switch to business throws me off. Upset that for thirty seconds I allowed myself to forget what we’re doing here. Like this is just another Wednesday when we’re hanging out in the kitchen talking about nothing.
I’m not sure why I thought going through everything was something we’d do together, but I take the folder and bring it closer.
“Thanks.”
“I think it’s a really great investment property. I don’t see any reason why we shouldn’t rent this and keep it for as long as we can.”
He doesn’t see any reason why us owning joint property is a problem? Things didn’t end in a great place with us, and while I’m not ready to dive into our past, it’s clear that he’s already pushed everything aside.
“Well,” I start. “That requires being here, making sure everything is okay, meeting with agents. It’d be a lot of work to get it set up. Not sure how that would work with me in LA…”
“For the amount of money, we can try to make it work.”
“That’s easy for you to say—you live here.”
“Right.” His jaw clenches. “Okay, well, we can do as much as we can before our meeting on the twenty-third. You’re going to stay here until then, right?”
“No…” I say slowly. Although I told Theo I would stay in the city a little longer, that certainly doesn’t mean until the twenty-third.
“Couldn’t you just stay here for the month? Is that a problem?”
“Yeah, a little. ” I almost laugh.
“Are you filming?” he asks.
It feels like he’s just rubbed salt in a very fresh wound. “No,” I say bitterly. “I just wrapped.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I have other responsibilities, Adam,” I say, slightly offended, even though I actually have nothing waiting for me back in LA. “I can’t stay here for a whole month.”
“Well, not with that attitude” is the only thing that comes out of his mouth.
“Excuse me?”
“June.” He narrows his eyes. “You’re telling me you don’t want six million dollars?”
“Well, it’s technically three if we’re splitting it.” I shrug, aware of how difficult I’m being, but he cannot be serious right now.
“I know this isn’t the ideal situation—”
“You think?” I scoff.
“—but it’s only a month. We figure out what we want to do, use this as an investment property or sell it, whatever we want. And then I promise, you’ll never have to see me again.”
I look away, because as much as I hate to admit it, Adam’s right.
This house means financial stability. It means focusing on my film and TV career and finding a place of my own.
I already canceled my flight for tonight and if I’m staying a few extra days, I guess I can manage to extend my entire trip.
“All right,” I say with defeat. “I’ll stay.”
“Great,” Adam says, looking quite pleased with himself. He reaches into his back pocket and slides a gold key across the counter. “I’d show you the place, but I think you know your way around.”
I shake my head. “I’m not staying here.” Being within these walls for merely ten minutes has brought up too many emotions.
“Oh right,” he says, nodding. “I’m sure a hotel for the next month is more ideal.”
“Ugh, fine.” I roll my eyes knowing he has a point. Considering how much is in my bank account, staying in a hotel isn’t even an option.
Adam gathers up his papers and grabs his coat. “All right, well, I’ll be back around seven,” he says, heading toward the front door.
“What?” I stand up and follow him. “Why?”
“Because I’m done with work at six…and I like to be in bed by ten.”
“Oh no, no, no no! ” I shake my head, crossing my arms across my chest. “Don’t you have a place of your own?”
“Yeah, I have an apartment…” he says. “But now I have a brownstone.”
“You’re joking…” I say incredulously. There is no way Adam and I are staying under the same roof for four weeks.
“Why would I be joking?” he asks.
“We can’t both stay here!” I spit out.
“Then do you want to pay me your share of the deposit now, or…?”
A sound of shock escapes from me, but I’m speechless. I stand in front of him in pure rage, and he merely raises an eyebrow. I think he’s actually enjoying my discomfort.
“You’re doing this to spite me,” I say, realizing what’s happening.
“Actually, no. But nice to know how highly you think of me.” He nods to himself.
I let out an exasperated sigh. “Then why would you want to stay here?”
“Alden is in SoHo,” he says calmly. “It would be nice to walk to work every day instead of taking the subway.”
“Okay, so you get a shorter commute.” I shrug. “That’s it? That’s why you’re so adamant on living together?”
Adam crosses his arms and leans against the stair banister. “June, why don’t you tell me why you’re so adamant on not living together?”
Adam and I continue to glare at each other. The tension is palpable, but it’s teetering between vengeful and, dare I say, sexual. I don’t know whether I want to leave and slam the door in his face or have him slam me against the door and let him have his way.
This is bigger than the money. Being here, I know what I need.
What I need is closure.
“Fine.” I straighten my shoulders. “We do this and then we never see each other again.”