Chapter 41
Zach is here with Mila, who is standing behind him, holding his hand and looking suddenly shy.
‘Hello there!’ I say, so brightly that my voice sounds strange to my own ears. ‘How are you, Mila?’
‘I’m good,’ she says, in a small voice.
‘So . . . this is Jacob,’ I say, as he raises a hand.
‘Hey buddy,’ smiles Zach. ‘That’s one cool T-shirt you got there. You like The Amazing World of Gumball , huh?’
‘Yeah, it’s my favourite show,’ he says.
Zach leans in, and whispers behind his ear. ‘Don’t tell anyone but it’s one of mine too. . .’
We shuffle forward in what seems to be a very slow-moving queue.
‘This isn’t your neck of the woods, is it?’ I ask because, while I’ve never been to the rented apartments Zach is currently staying in, I am familiar with those long-term lets in and around Media City. They tend to be gleaming, slightly impersonal pads, with great views, but not a great deal of personality. I can’t imagine him in them somehow . . .
‘No, but Mila’s grandparents live around the corner so we come here sometimes before she goes back to her mom. Mila’s hoping to tackle that slide at some point before we go back to the US.’
‘What, the big one?’ I gasp, looking at her shy face. ‘Wow . . . you’re brave.’
‘Well, she’s hasn’t quite made it down yet. We’ve been up those steps a few times but . . . you’re still working on getting down it, aren’t you, honey?’
I am very familiar with the psychological tug of war some kids have when they’re desperate to attempt something new and exciting, but simultaneously too terrified to go through with it. Jacob was the same once over a slide in Center Parcs – he spent three days psyching himself up and only finally managed it just as it was time to go home.
‘Do you think we’ll be much longer in the queue, Mum?’ Jacob asks.
‘It looks like it. You go and play if you want. I’ll wait in the line. Why don’t you take Mila with you?’ I look up at Zach. ‘Assuming that’s all right?’
She curls into his body and clutches his hand, clearly not sure.
Jacob smiles encouragingly. ‘I’ll look after you,’ he says.
She considers the prospect for a moment before deciding the lure of the playground is just too much.
As Jacob leads her towards the roundabout, Zach looks astonished. ‘Wow. She’s usually shy around bigger kids.’
‘Well . . . my son is very charming,’ I tell him, as Jacob helps her onto the ride, before gently starting to push it.
‘I can see. What a guy.’
There’s a short silence as the queue begins to move again – very slowly. ‘This better be some damn good ice cream with a line this long.’
‘You know what they say. Everything tastes better when you wait.’
I look up. He locks eyes with me. The tips of my ears redden. ‘So I hear.’
Something begins to unfurl inside me. I hastily glance over at the kids. He clears his throat.
‘So, what’s new at work, Darling?’ he says, to my relief. Small talk I can do.
‘Oh, you know. Nothing’s on time. Everything’s over budget. Non-stop arm wrestles with those awkward sods in commissioning . . .’
‘We do try . . .’
‘Oh, and I’ve got that huge presentation at the end of the month too. I do it every year and hate it.’
He pulls a face. ‘Why? I’ve seen you present plenty of times. You’re slick .’
I snort. ‘I wouldn’t go that far, but thanks. I’m all right in a smallish group, but 200 people? My idea of hell. Don’t look so mystified. Just because you can stroll across a stage looking like you were born to do a Ted Talk . . .’
‘Hardly.’
‘Well, you certainly don’t look nervous. Is it all a front? Are you a quivering wreck inside?’
‘Honestly?’ He pulls a pained expression. ‘No. Never.’
‘Never? I’m sure that’s the definition of a psychopath, isn’t it?’
‘I do hope not,’ he laughs. ‘Seriously, Darling. There are better things to worry about than whether you’re going to stumble over some words or your jokes fall flat. I mean . . . who gives one?’
‘Me, apparently. Any tips then?’
He shrugs. ‘Just be yourself.’
‘Oh Russo,’ I sigh. ‘That’s so corny. I expected better of you.’
‘No, it’s not . It’s good advice. Yourself is amazing,’ he says, holding my gaze in a way that seems deliberately provocative.
I wonder if the smile that’s on his lips is specifically designed to make me want to kiss them.
‘Have you ever thought of making fridge magnets?’ I say instead. ‘You’d make a bomb on Etsy.’
He smiles.
We shuffle forward in the queue. ‘So did you tell Rose her job is going to be empty again soon?’
I nod. ‘I did.’
‘She must be looking forward to coming back?’
‘Her focus right now is her treatment, but I’m sure she is. She’s always lived for that job. Plus, she couldn’t get enough of all the gossip from the awards.’
We finally reach the front and order four cones, but as I go to pay, Zach nudges me out of the way.
‘Least I can do is buy you an ice cream.’
The server lines up the finished waffle cones in a holder, one by one. Zach picks up mine with a napkin and passes it to me, followed by Jacob’s. Our hands brush both times, causing a ripple effect up my arm. I lick a small drip of cold ice cream from one of my fingers and I’m gripped by an unseemly flash of curiosity about what it would be like to do the same to one of his.
We spend almost an hour in the playground, far longer than I’d intended. Zach takes a ton of photos and insists we get a group selfie, which I ask him to send me afterwards. Jacob of course pulls one of his obligatory funny faces – I haven’t had a ‘nice’ photo of him for at least 18 months now – which Mila finds hysterical. From her peels of uncontrollable laughter, it has gradually become apparent that she considers my son to be a comedy genius on a par with some of the all-time greats. Charlie Chaplin, Robin Williams, John Cleese can all step aside as far as she’s concerned.
Jacob meanwhile clearly quite likes having Mila follow him around, her eyes wide in admiration. Eventually, he manages to coax her up the steps of the slide as Zach and I stand at the bottom to watch.
‘Way to go, Mila!’ he calls up, then murmurs to me out of the side of his mouth: ‘She’s never going to do this. I’ve been up and down those steps like a yo-yo.’
‘How many times has she bottled out at the last minute?’
‘I’d say sixty to a hundred.’
And then—
‘HURRAYYYY!’ Jacob is cheering from the top as Mila whizzes down, looking admittedly more stunned than joyful. When she gets to the bottom, she blinks a couple of times, a dazed look on her face, before leaping to her feet and running to Zach.
‘Daddy, did you see?’ she cries, as he lifts her up and smothers her with kisses. She’s so overjoyed that she promptly wants to do it again. And again, and again – while Jacob heroically accompanies her to the top of the steps every time.
On approximately her twelfth go, at the moment her feet touch the ground, she gasps. ‘MOMMY!’
I follow her gaze to the gate, where a woman in a cute denim dress and chunky leather sandals is closing it behind her. She has tousled, chestnut hair that reaches halfway down her back and is sprinkled with natural highlights. She is wearing little to no make-up and has this wide Julia Roberts smile, all warmth and gleaming eyes. She is stunning. I mean, of course she’s stunning. How could I ever have imagined Zach’s ex would be anything else?
‘Mommy, come and look!’ she says, ‘I went down the slide!’
‘No way!’ she replies.
‘Come and watch!’
She looks up at Zach and waves a hello, before seeming to register me a second later. Her expression wavers and, although Mila is now out of earshot, she’s clearly trying to persuade her daughter that it’s time to go.
‘I’ll be right back,’ Zach says, as he heads towards them.
I suddenly feel like a loose end, so go to join Jacob, now at the swings.
‘Do you want a push?’ I ask.
He gives me a doubtful look.
‘I think I’m all right, Mum,’ he says, before flinging up his legs until he’s higher than my head.
I sit on the swing next to him and begin to rock, trying to look anywhere other than at Zach, Sara and Mila. They must have been a gorgeous family and, despite the fireworks Zach described, are clearly pretty amicable now.
‘BYE JACOB!’ calls out Mila, as she runs towards us, stopping at the edge of the swing area.
‘Bye Mila!’ he replies, returning her wave.
‘Can we have a sleepover one day?’ she asks.
‘Yeah, maybe!’ he laughs.
Then she skips away, her day apparently made.
Zach heads back to us after they’ve driven off.
‘What have you guys got planned for the rest of the day?’ he asks, as we stroll to the exit.
‘Well, I’m going to be panelling the living room and doing some Pilates. But Jacob has a more exciting afternoon than me,’ I tell him.
‘I’m going to see War Horse with my grandma,’ he pipes up.
‘Oh, the thing with the huge puppets? That looks great,’ Zach says.
‘But first you’ve got maths homework, so we need to get back to do it,’ I add.
Jacob groans. ‘I hate maths . . .’
‘What’s wrong with math?’ Zach asks.
‘ Everything . But fractions mainly . . .’
‘They’re the work of the devil, according to Jacob,’ I tell Zach.
‘I can’t add them up when the denominator is different. It’s too hard.’
‘Ah. I see. I used to hate that too when I was your age. But you know what? Someone showed me a trick that I have never forgotten that makes them super easy. It’s basically cheating . . .’
Jacob’s interest is now piqued. ‘So . . . what’s the trick?’
‘Hmm. I’m not sure I could show you here.’
‘Come back to ours!’
‘ Jacob . I’m sure Zach’s busy . . .’
But he catches my eye. There is a playful glint in it. ‘I’ll always make time for a little math.’