Chapter 37
Thirty-Seven
Two weeks until the big day! Don’t forget to vote for your Homecoming royalty.
TikTok caption by @CassidyandBrianMVH.
I spend the weekend lying in bed, totally miserable.
All my energy goes to holding in my tears and trying to put on a brave face for Mom whenever she comes in to check on me.
Dad FaceTimes and wants the whole story, and I can’t help but let a few tears slip, but I don’t tell him about Zeke, and he assumes I’m crying because of the pain.
And he’s not completely wrong. Sprains suck.
I’m starting to wonder why I’m even doing this. What does being Homecoming Queen get me, really? Is all this really worth it?
But the way I hurt Zeke . . . I don’t know if there’s any coming back from that, even if I wanted to.
My phone buzzes from the bedside table, and I grab it. A picture of Suzy doing a peace sign is on the screen. I answer the call.
“Hey, Suze.”
“How are you feeling?” Her voice sounds off, like she’s not happy about something.
“I’m all right. The painkillers take the edge off.” If only they could heal this ache in my heart, this deep regret, this fear that I’ve broken whatever me and Zeke had beyond repair. I roll onto my side, trying to get comfortable in the bed.
I need to tell my best friend everything. I want to tell her about Zeke, about his Homecoming proposal, and how I was so stupid to reject him. I need to tell her the whole story.
“Suzy, I need to tell you something . . .”
She doesn’t say anything.
“Can I come over?” Moving will be hard, but I want to do this in person, and I desperately need to get out of this room.
“Sure.” Suzy hangs up before I can say goodbye.
I hobble up the stairs to Suzy’s room, limping along with my crutch. Suzy doesn’t offer to help me, so I struggle up the stairs as best as I can.
“Suze?” I ask. “Is everything okay?” She doesn’t answer.
I have a sinking feeling in my stomach. What’s going on? I can’t handle this right now. I just need my best friend.
We sit on Suzy’s bedspread, and I breathe a sigh of relief at being off of my foot.
Mr. Mochi is there in her cage on the floor, her little babies snuggled up against her. I sigh. “So cute.”
“Mmmhmm,” Suzy says.
“Did you pick a name for yours?” I should ask Suzy what’s wrong and get it over with, but I don’t want to hear it.
“Miss Boba. She’s actually a girl, too.”
“I love it. She’s perfect.” I glance away. “Suzy, I have to tell you something.”
Suzy looks at me and then leans back against the headboard. “Go ahead.” She crosses her arms over her chest.
I sigh. “Well . . . I haven’t been completely honest with you, and I feel horrible about it.”
Suzy just raises one eyebrow, which is not a good sign.
I forge ahead anyway. “When we were first brainstorming ideas for how to win the crown . . .” I go on and tell Suzy the whole thing.
I tell her about the contract with Zeke.
I tell her how it became something more.
I can’t help it when my eyes fill with tears, and I blink them away. None of it was real.
Suzy doesn’t say much, she just listens, which makes me even more nervous. Finally, I trail off. “So . . . I’m really sorry I kept this from you. Zeke and I promised not to tell anyone, but I should’ve told you.”
Suzy sighs. “You’re right. You should have. I’m . . . I’m disappointed.”
I look down. “I know, I’m ridiculous. A fake friend. Trying to get in with the nerd crowd while still maintaining the opinion of the popular crowd. Why did I ever think it would work?”
“Callie, no.” Suzy shakes her head. “I’m disappointed that you thought you couldn’t tell me about this. Don’t you know that I love you? I would support you in anything.”
I look up at her, my eyes filling with tears again. “Thank you.”
“So . . . Zeke. Zeke was never really your friend?” Suzy looks thoughtful. “I can’t believe that. He seemed so genuine.”
“There’s more,” I say, and I can’t hold them back any longer. The tears spill over and roll down my cheeks. I tell Suzy how I fell for Zeke, about the sweet and perfect way that he asked me to Homecoming, and how I said no.
But Suzy doesn’t react the way I thought she would. I wanted, I don’t know, maybe someone to push me, to say that it’s okay to go out with him. That I should just do it. But all she says is, “Well, maybe it’s for the best, Cal.”
My shoulders slump.
Suzy shrugs. “Zeke said it himself. He’s moving in a few months. Your relationship would already have an end date. And think of everything you’d be giving up.”
I swallow. “There’s always long distance . . .”
Suzy shrugs and looks away. “Yeah. Maybe.” When Suzy looks back at me, her face is serious. “You missed my tennis tournament.”
My spine goes completely rigid, and a twinge of pain goes through my foot and up my leg. “No. I didn’t. It’s next week.”
“It was yesterday.”
I fall back on the bed. “No.” I cover my hands with my face. “I’m so, so sorry. I wish you would’ve texted me.”
Suzy stares out the window at the rain pattering on the glass.
“I didn’t have much time to breathe, let alone text.
It was a busy day. I’ve been talking about it for weeks, and .
. . it was really important to me. I thought you’d remember.
” Suzy’s voice is tinged with bitterness, and I feel horrible. Awful. Completely rotten.
“I’m so, so sorry,” I say, even though it’s not enough. “I can’t believe I missed it. Did you win?”
“No.”
Just when I think I’m fresh out of tears, there’s more. “I’m so sorry, Suze.”
Suzy stands. “You should think about what you really want. And not just about which guy.”
I hobble to my feet, hurt and ashamed, and I make my way home as quickly as I can.