Chapter 3 #2
Willow exhaled in a rush, her shoulders slumping in relief as she released Darcy’s hands. “See you for dinner tonight?”
Taking the jar off the desk, Darcy forced a smile. “Of course.”
Jack woke up early the next morning, his blood surging with the promise and threat of Pleine Lune.
When Darcy had returned home yesterday afternoon, she’d held up the ginger jar, giving him a rueful smile. “Here it is.”
“My fate,” he’d said softly, staring at the liquid sloshing against the walls of the glass jar.
“Our fate,” she’d corrected him.
He was grateful for dinner at Darcy’s mother’s house as a distraction, fascinated by watching the simple, traditional family life he’d read about in books but had never experienced firsthand.
His own family was a fractious mess. His father was dead, his mother and Tombeur lived in limbo, while his mother could barely mention Lela’s name amicably.
His sisters were far away, living with their mates in northern packs, choosing to stay as far away from his family as possible.
What would it have been like to experience the sort of warm, loving home that Darcy had grown up in?
And how in the world could he do anything to take her away from it?
She stirred in her sleep, reaching for him, and he gathered her into his arms.
“Today”—she sighed, her eyes fluttering open—“is here.”
Jack nodded, tracing the lines of her beloved face with one finger as he captured her eyes. It is.
She reached up to cup his cheek. It’s going to be okay.
“Hey,” he said, smiling at her. “Do you think, just for today, that we could just pretend we’re Jack and Darcy who are a newly hatched couple, madly in love, with no re-bindings or shifts to contend with? Just until this afternoon?”
“Are we both Rougs or humans in this ideal scenario?”
“Let’s be humans,” he suggested.
“Okay. We’re just two ordinary humans—”
“Madly in love.”
“Madly in love,” she repeated, pushing him onto his back and rolling on top of him. “And we have”—she flicked her glance to the clock—“about eight hours together. What exactly would you like to do?”
His hands trailed up the warm skin of her back idly, gently, savoring the softness of her skin, the pliancy of her body covering his. “I liked your idea yesterday.”
“The woods,” they said simultaneously, grinning at each other.
“But first,” he said, easily flipping her over so that she was panting beneath him. I want you.
I’m yours.
She arched her hips up a little, and Jack thrust forward into her, holding her eyes as their bodies fused together and wishing they had a lifetime, rather than just a day, to pretend that everything was okay.
His mood is off, thought Darcy, holding his hand as the leaves crunched beneath their boots.
The changes in the north woods were subtle, but certain.
Fall was coming. The trees, which had maintained their green for almost all of August, were starting to color yellow, and even though the noonday sun was high in the sky, it wasn’t quite as warm as it had been a week ago.
They’d made love all morning, and while Jack showered, Darcy made them a picnic.
While she showered, he’d packed it in a basket.
It all felt so normal. It all felt so fleeting.
And yet, Darcy was determined not to ruin the short time they had left with the same conversation Jack had been avoiding for weeks.
They could talk about changing her four days from now, when her suppressor had proven itself.
Last night at dinner, Darcy had felt a passing envy for Willow and Amory, though, for the way they had all the time in the world to figure out what comes next and what they wanted from each other.
They were unwrapping each other slowly like a present, and they’d have forever to savor one another.
For all that, she wouldn’t trade the grand passion that she and Jack shared, but she wondered wistfully what it would be like to be unrushed and unafraid.
“I never thought Amory and Willow would happen,” she said softly as he pulled her gently over a fallen log.
“I think you did.”
“No, really,” she insisted. “For so long, forever, really, it seemed impossible. Seeing them together last night? I mean, they’re really a couple. They’re together.”
“They’ve been together since the night Julien and Lela were bound,” said Jack. “Whatever Willow felt for your brother couldn’t be concealed anymore after that night. It was the touchstone. The turning point.”
“What would have happened if you hadn’t kissed me backstage that night, Jack? Would you have found someone else? A Roug girl?”
“It doesn’t work like that,” he said, glancing at her as they neared the clearing where they planned to picnic. “Bound couples are like puzzle pieces. You only fit together with one until that one’s gone.”
“So you would’ve been alone?”
He nodded, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing it.
“Maybe it would’ve been better,” she lamented softly.
“Never,” he said. He stopped walking to set the basket on the ground, pulling Darcy against his body. “Loving you has been the best part of my life.”
“Past tense,” she said breathlessly into his shoulder, tears stinging her eyes.
“Loving you is the best part of my life,” he amended. He leaned back, smiling at her tenderly. “I thought we were going to be two normal humans today, madly in love.”
Reaching down, Darcy opened the picnic basket and took out the blanket that lay on top. “That’s right.”
“So, normal human fiancée, should we do some…” She watched him as he tried to think of something normal couples did on the weekend. “Grocery shopping this afternoon?”
Darcy chuckled. “We should. And maybe stop at Home Depot. I could use some mesh wire for around the garden. The rabbits are devouring my herbs.”
Jack took two corners of the blanket from her and stepped back, helping her spread it. “End of summer’s almost here.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Perhaps we should host a BBQ? All my frat brothers and your sorority sisters?”
“They all have kids,” said Darcy softly.
“Kids,” he murmured, knowing their conversation had hit a painful impasse.
Her heart thudded painfully, and she looked away from him, trying to be present in the make-believe of the moment. It wasn’t impossible for her and Jack to have children, but having a half-Roug child wasn’t something either of them was ready to discuss. “Tell me about Julien and Lela. Any news?”
Jack sat down on the blanket, then leaned back, pillowing his hands beneath his head. “Come lie down with me.”
She kneeled first, then joined him, resting her head inside his elbow and staring up at the sky.
“Lela’s breeding.”
Her head whipped to face him as she gasped in surprise. “Already?”
“Mm-hmm,” he murmured. “A binding louveteau.”
“Louveteau?” asked Darcy, feeling happy for Lela and sad for herself all at the same time.
“It means a-a cub,” Jack explained, leaning up on his side to look into her eyes. Are you upset?
No, I’m happy for Lela and Julien.
But she looked away quickly because she was lying. He reached for her chin and tilted her face back to meet his. We’ll have our own someday.
“A louveteau or a baby?” she asked.
Sighing, he dropped his fingers from her face and rolled back beside her to stare up at the sky. They were lying so close to each other that Darcy could feel the heat of his skin warming her like the sun, and yet she’d never felt quite so alone.
This is the problem, she thought sadly, feeling her deep love for him and knowing it simply wasn’t enough. We can’t plan our future, and until we can, we have none.