Chapter 12. Juniper
Juniper
SONG OF THE DAY:
“Merry Christmas Baby” by Etta James
The second week of December
arrives with icy gusts
of lake-effect wind
gray skies
and single-digit temperatures.
But a little cold
has never stopped me
from needing time in nature.
When Jamison suggests we run
the Fulton Park Trailhead together
after school
I accept the invitation
eagerly.
Ready? Jamison says, doing a set of high knees
next to me in the parking lot.
The full loop is about six miles.
Yep, I say, running in place.
Lead the way.
We take off toward the trail and trees
matching each other’s pace
letting the wind
the shuffle of our feet on dirt
guide us on
the midafternoon light
hazing through the clouds.
We run in silence
too breathless to keep up conversation
communicating only with glances
and nods
as we slow on an incline
or speed up on a smooth downhill patch.
This is what I love
about trail running:
it’s both a communal prayer
and a bounty of solitude.
Jamison and I are here
present in our breath and movement
but I am also daydreaming
about being in Ms. Mills’s kitchen
with Lyric this past weekend—
and the idyllic candid shot
Ms. Mills snapped of us
our hands covered in chocolate
cocoa powder dusting our aprons
as we stood behind a butcher block island
Lyric’s berry lips
curled into a magnetic smile
as I leaned in close to her ear
as if telling her
a secret.
Really—I was singing in the shot.
Ms. Vivian had insisted we put on
Earth, Wind & Fire as we baked
so, when the “Let’s Groove” chorus hit
I couldn’t help but lean in closer to Lyric.
I couldn’t help but
sing along loud
as I two-stepped to the track.
It was corny, but it made Lyric smile big
and that’s when Ms. Mills
snapped the winning shot.
Now people on BeautyStarz are calling us
#couplegoals
and we’ve got a few more
paying sponsorships lined up
for the coming weeks.
In real life though
I haven’t seen much of Lyric
since Friday.
With her work schedule
and my track practice
we might get a few moments
to say hi in class
or at lunch when everyone is around
but otherwise we just text.
Yo, you good? Jamison’s voice breaks through
my daydreams. That was a workout.
We’ve made it back to the parking lot.
We are both wheezing
holding our hands over our heads
trying to let the air back into our lungs.
Yeah—I start. Thanks for showing me this spot.
That’s maybe the best trail run I’ve had
since moving here.
Jamison smiles.
You moved from Chicago, right?
Yeah. The South Side.
And what do you think of Lansing?
I mean, probably kinda tame in comparison.
We’ve both caught our breaths now
and begin to stretch
mirroring each other’s movements.
I shrug. I don’t mind it.
Lansing is a nice change of pace for me
and my moms.
What I don’t say is:
Leaving that city
saved us
got us away from everything
that made last year
such a mess.
Have you always lived here?
I ask.
Born and raised,
he says as we cross our arms
high above our heads
pulling on our wrists.
It’s just me, my little brother, and my mom,
Jamison continues.
She wants me to stay close for college
but I have my eye on Kentucky.
Just waiting to hear back.
Kentucky has a great track program.
They’d be lucky to have you.
I mean, you’re no slacker yourself.
You thinking of running track in college?
Maybe. Still deciding,
I say, just as my watch buzzes
with a notification from BeautyStarz:
@LovelyLyric is LIVE.
I created an account
so Lyric could tag me
in our content
but I rarely ever
go on it for anything else.
Hold on a sec, I say to Jamison
as I hustle over to my car
grab my phone
and open the BeautyStarz app
to click on Lyric’s profile:
What’s up, beauties!
Lyric is saying, front and center in the camera
face fresh and glowing.
Today I’m going to show you how to do a five-minute smoky eye using these new eye shadow sticks from Lilac Lane.
If you’re a beginner or just hate the fuss of eye shadow, this product will really work for you, and have you slaying for a night out.
Please believe I’ll be re-creating this exact look for Winter Formal next week—because, that’s right, I’m pretty sure I’ve got myself a date.
Lyric winks at the camera
and a cloud of hearts and reactions
explodes in the comment section
alongside an array of comments:
you and @JuniperRuns are too cute!
we better get a GRWM for winter formal
y’all are queer couple goals!
So, grab a snack or something to sip on, and let’s do this, Lyric continues.
As always, pop your comments and questions below and don’t forget to use my affiliate code LovelyLyric15 to get fifteen percent off at Lilac Lane.
OK, first things first, you’re gonna wanna take this shadow stick in the color “Brownie Bite” and add it to your crease—
Lovely Lyric is at it again, I see.
I jump at Jamison’s voice over my shoulder.
Yeah—I laugh, putting my phone away.
I mean, she’s good at this.
She really knows how to sell this stuff.
So, this is really
all for the clicks, huh?
Jamison says
an unreadable look
on his face.
You and her?
I feel my face heat.
There’s no way
I’m telling Jamison
my real feelings for Lyric
no matter if he’s moved on.
That would be
way too awkward.
Yep! I say, brightly.
All for the clicks
and the cash.
And apparently
the photo ops at Winter Formal?
That was news to me.
That we’re going together.
Well, dude, just be careful,
Jamison says, rolling his neck
from side to side.
Lyric likes to play games.
Just don’t get too invested—
trust me.
I nod slowly
a wave of protectiveness
washing over my body.
Is he messing with me?
Or is this genuine concern?
I can’t tell yet.
I hope this isn’t too weird,
I finally say.
I mean—I know you two
have a history
but really Lyric and me
we’re just friends.
Yeah, no hard feelings,
Jamison says, fast.
Let’s just say
me and Lyric are better off not dating.
I moved on.
It’s just still a little tense sometimes
you know?
I nod.
Yeah. I get that.
Anyway, Jamison says.
This was cool—
running together, I mean.
You up for trying
another trail next week?
Absolutely,
I say, relief flooding my body.
Just text me where
and I’ll be there.
When I arrive home from hanging with Jamison
Etta James’s “Merry Christmas Baby”
is blaring from the speakers
while Mom and Mama Alice sway together
in the living room.
I watch unnoticed from the kitchen
taking in the picture-perfect sight:
the two of them
wrapped around one another
like graceful vines covered in roses
faces awash with soft light
from the Christmas tree.
This is what I’ll close my eyes and remember
when the adventure ahead
feels too vast and overwhelming.
This is what home is: my moms
together
music on the speaker
a cozy, sturdy love.
Eh-hem! I finally cough,
just as a slower song begins
and they start to
melt into each other’s faces.
Hey, baby girl,
Mom says with a relaxed smile,
kissing Mama Alice on the cheek
and pulling away.
Ah, Mara, just one more dance!
Junie—you’re messin’ up my game!
Mama Alice says, winking at me
and continuing to sway on her own.
Later, Al, we’ve got baking to do
and also, Junie!
Look what came in the mail.
Mom holds up an envelope
and as I draw closer
I see it’s got a seal from
Michigan State on it.
I thought I would get an email?
I say, an instant tightening
in my throat.
You’ll probably still get one
but some schools also send formal letters,
Mom says. Open it, open it!
I’ve been waiting since the mail
was delivered at noon.
A few months ago, I submitted
one early-decision application—
just to make Mom happy.
I didn’t think we’d hear back so soon.
I take the letter from Mom
tear open the seal
as she and Mama Alice crowd close.
Dear Juniper Jones,
Congratulations! We are pleased to welcome you to …
I don’t even get to read past
the second sentence
before my moms start to shout with excitement.
They engulf me in a huge hug.
You did it, Junie! Mom is elated.
I’m so proud of you.
Mama Alice has tears in her eyes.
I still can’t believe our baby
is college-bound next year.
Where did the time go!
Wow! I say, trying to keep the dread I feel
at bay.
That’s—wow.
What’s wrong, Junie?
Mom says.
Nothing, I say, forcing a smile onto my face.
I just think I’m in shock.
Well, that makes sense,
Mom continues, but you worked hard for this.
I know there are still some other schools
you’ll apply for
but this is a HUGE WIN!
Thanks,
I say. Uh, I need to shower.
Let this all sink in.
Of course, honey.
You look beat,
Mama Alice says.
Oh! Before you go, some other boxes
came for you too. They’re by the front door,
Mom adds. Christmas surprises, for me and Mama
I assume? I didn’t look too hard at them.
Oh, yeah. Thanks.
I gather up the boxes
and head to my room.
I don’t need to open them
to know
what they are.
Lyric had Cash Apped
my first cut of the BeautyStarz money
after visiting the teahouse last week
and it had been enough
to buy privacy screens
for all of Chloe’s windows.
I sink to the floor in my room
acceptance letter in hand
boxes for my road trip in front of me.
I hear Moms in the kitchen
pulling out pots and pans for dinner.
The sound of them
so familiar it aches.
How can I tell them
the truth that sits on my tongue?
How to say—
I don’t want
what you want for me.
I don’t want more lectures
neat rows of desks
computer screens and
pulling all-nighters in the library.
I want the woods
highways and mountain ranges.
I want moss under my feet
sun on my face
the rush of river song
in my ears.
I want to learn the language of wind
skipping over the great plains
memorize the sunrise
spilling over the Badlands
meditate on the shape of California trees
so big and wise
I can drive right through them.
I want to grow a small green earth
in my chest feel my lungs bloom
with oxygen and light.
Mama Alice and Mom are
laughing loud now dancing again
no doubt
since Etta James is blaring.
I take a deep breath
and tuck my acceptance letter
under a stack of books on my desk.
Wait. Just wait to tell them,
I whisper to myself.
Then I grab my phone
and fire off a message
I’ve been meaning to send Lyric
since I caught some of
her live earlier:
Me: So, did I miss the part
where you asked me to Winter Formal?