Chapter 16. Juniper

Juniper

SONG OF THE DAY:

“Warm in December” by Samara Joy

Stella’s is one of those department stores

I wouldn’t normally set foot in

the first floor lined with glassy countertops

lipstick and skin-care displays

poster ads featuring gaunt celebrities

spritzing themselves dramatically

with some high-end scent.

Almost as old as Macy’s

only a local Michigan chain

it’s hard to imagine anyone but

Midwestern beauty queens and old white ladies

shopping at Stella’s.

But here I am

noon as promised

hair tucked into a beanie

wearing joggers a cream flannel

and high-top Chucks

waiting by the handbags

for Lyric.

At least they are playing

Samara Joy’s “Warm in December.”

I love this song.

I start to hum along.

Can I help you with something?

an angular, youngish white woman

with overlined lips

and a slick Kardashian-esque high bun asks.

Her eyes flutter over me

with disdain

and I know she’s decided

I don’t belong.

No thank you.

I’m just waiting

for a friend.

Mmkay. Well

my name is Hollis

if you need anything …

Thanks.

I know she doesn’t mean it.

I’ll let you know.

Hollis gives me a little nod

and finds a nearby display table

to hover over her eyes

sharp on my back

as she unfolds and refolds

the same sweater.

I move calmly into

the shoe section

even though I suddenly feel

overheated and uncomfy.

It’s not the first time

I’ve been followed in a store

and it won’t be the last.

Where the hell is Lyric?!

This place is suffocating.

I check my phone.

It’s 12:15 p.m.

I send a hurried text:

I’m here. Where are you?

Lyric: Sorry!

Running behind.

Go to the 2nd floor

and ask for Robbie.

Give them my name.

Be there as soon as I can.

I sigh

and find my way

to the escalators

Hollis close behind.

When I get to the second floor

I turn abruptly.

Hi again.

I force a saccharine smile

as Hollis narrowly misses

colliding with my face.

Do you know where I can find

a colleague of yours—

goes by the name of Robbie?

She frowns

but gives a short wave toward

a corner of the store

bursting with metallics

tulle and silk.

Thank you, I say,

I’ve got it from here.

I walk over fast

and ring a small bell

on the counter.

Hello, Robbie?

Then, like Houdini

a petite white person with long, baby-pink hair

a septum ring

wearing a mint button-down onesie

with octopuses on it

and heeled cream boots

pops their head out

from a nearby rack.

That’d be me,

they say warmly

coming over with

an outstretched hand.

Robbie Meade.

Hi, I’m Juniper.

Lyric sent me—

So, THIS is Juniper Jones

in the flesh,

Robbie interrupts.

You’re even cuter

in person.

My ears blaze with heat.

Uh—OK.

Don’t mind me.

Robbie laughs.

I’m taken. And despite

my youthful style

much too old for you.

But I will just say this—

I’m so glad Lyric has found

someone so special.

You really are adorable together.

I didn’t realize we’d be

pretending to date

during this outing.

Just another thing

Lyric kept to herself.

Thanks … we, uh …

Lyric is great.

How do you know her?

Hey, sweetie!

Lyric is all at once

at my side

and she brushes my cheek

with a light kiss

that sends a current

of electricity up my spine.

Robbie, she says, used to work

at one of my favorite

thrift stores downtown

and is an expert stylist—

now THE head stylist

for the teen department

here at Stella’s.

Robbie does a little twirl

and gives a small bow:

That’s me! Your slightly chaotic

always charming fairy godparent

stylist by day

drag queen by night

and I’m very fucking good

at creating a lewk!

We’re not supposed to curse,

Hollis, who for some reason

is still hovering, hisses at Robbie.

Hollis, dear. Don’t be a terror.

It’s not becoming of you,

Robbie says

leading me and Lyric

to a small but semiprivate sitting area

with a single dressing room

and wall-to-wall mirrors.

Don’t you have some panties

to fold in the granny panty department?

Please, go, do something. Anything else

than harass our customers.

I snort, because

Hollis’s face

has turned beet red

as she spins around on her kitten heel

and finally stomps away.

I do apologize for her,

Robbie sighs.

Nepo baby hires

just have no

sense of decorum.

If she wasn’t the owner’s niece

I’d fire her myself.

Now, my darlings.

What’s the theme? The vibe?

The story you want to tell

through fashion

on your wintry night of magic?

I look at Lyric

because—what—a vibe?

A story? I am lost.

I do most of my shopping

online or at stores

that also carry carabiners

pocketknives

and hiking gear.

Gold and black,

Lyric says instantly.

I’m going for a vintage

Hollywood vibe

with a modern twist.

And for Juniper here

I was thinking

an oversized blazer

black suit pants

and some fire wingtip shoes—

Yes! Oh, yes!

Robbie nods

as they begin running around

pulling pieces off racks

and hanging them in the

little room with us.

This new line has so many things

that I think could work.

Lyric—

Lyric!

The next time Robbie

leaves the sitting area

I lean over and grab

her hand

until her eyes meet mine.

Why does Robbie think

this is real?!

Lyric shrugs.

Look—she says hurriedly.

Robbie is good people.

It was their idea

for Stella’s to sponsor us

for some content.

They’re trying to help the store

appeal to a younger

more relevant clientele.

They follow me on BeautyStarz

and they’re really excited about

us as a couple

doing this promotion.

I couldn’t break it to them

about our little arrangement.

So, just play along, OK?

It’s free clothes

and we get to help Robbie out.

Win-win.

Except—I DIDN’T KNOW!

You have to clue me in

on these kinds of things,

I whisper-yell at her

as we watch Robbie make their way

back to us with more items.

Sorry! Lyric whispers,

leaning in close.

I just got—carried away.

Please, just play it cool.

We can do this.

Awww! You two are just

too stinking cute.

Whispering away like a couple

of lovebirds.

This glow looks good on you, mama—

Robbie says

pointing to Lyric.

Don’t let this one go.

I don’t plan to,

Lyric says

putting her hand

on my thigh

and smiling at me

with heart eyes.

Damn it. Why is she so annoying

and hot!

my head screams.

I match her smile lean in

and boop our noses together.

You’re the best, babe,

I say, the literal best.

Melt my heart, why don’t you.

Robbie claps. I love LAUV!

OK, but now we need to focus.

Do any of these clothing options

speak to you?

Make your soul sing?

Let’s get you both snatched and looking fab

for this dance.

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