Chapter Twelve #3
Shaking it off, I murmur, “Sorry, I’ve been alone since I got here, so clearly I’m excited to be talking to someone.
And most New Yorkers aren’t interested in conversing with strangers.
I love the city so far, don’t get me wrong, I just…
didn’t realize how lonely it’d be. Though I probably should have…
I mean, that’s the whole point, isn’t it?
” I huff a sort of self-deprecating laugh, and she offers a sympathetic curve to her lips.
“Trust me, I get it,” she sighs. “New York has a way of really hammering your emotions into you, which can be good and bad.”
“I’m so sorry, I’m tossing my baggage at you and I don’t even know your name,” I chuckle. “I’m Angel, by the way.”
Her face freezes.
Eyes wide, her smile has fallen away. And now she’s really gaping at me.
I blink.
“I’m… Leah,” she says softly. “I’m sorry, are you… Angel Alvarez?”
Fear hits like an instinct. Because someone I don’t know is recognizing me, and that makes me nervous.
But something about this girl’s presence has been calling to me since I noticed her. It’s comforting, and that has me nodding reticently.
“Yea… how did you—”
“I know your sister,” she whispers.
My heart leaps so hard in my chest, it almost knocks me over.
Avianna. She knows…
And then it smacks me right in the face. Where I’ve seen her from…
I recognize her from my research. I think I saw her picture online, when I was scouring every corner of the internet for child trafficking victims, hoping to find my sister.
It was a while ago, and the picture was of a much younger girl. Just one image, buried deep in the graveyard of missing persons reports. But something about her face stuck out to me…
And now I know why. Avia was trying to tell me…
It’s her. Alleah Tilsen.
She knows my sister.
“You… you know Avianna?” My voice comes out small, like that of a scared three-year-old who misses his sister.
She nods, eyes sparkling with many poignant emotions, joy and sadness at the forefront. “I’ve known her for years. I consider her one of my best friends, and I knew she had a twin… You look just like her. I mean, wow. It’s incredible.”
I swallow hard, a gust of a shaky noise leaving my lips. I’m on the edge right now…
Avia… She’s alive.
She’s…
“Is sh-she… okay?” I croak.
Leah’s expression goes crestfallen. “I don’t know. I’m sorry…” She reaches across the table, startling me when her warm hands envelopes mine. “I haven’t seen her in almost a year.”
Like a rollercoaster, the slow rise to exhilaration, then fast drop into sorrow is making me nauseous.
“So she’s not here…? In New York?” I choke out the question.
She shakes her head solemnly, squeezing my hand tighter. “I’m so sorry, Angel. God, if she knew you might come here, there’s no way she would’ve left. But she didn’t even know if you were still alive, and after so many years of…” She stops abruptly to gulp. “She just had to get out.”
I’m crumbling. My insides feel like they’re made of weathered stone, falling apart bit by bit. I can’t believe in thirty seconds I went from thinking I might actually find my sister to finding out she isn’t even here. That flicker of hope was just puffed out, and now I’m in the dark… collapsing.
Forcing myself to portray strength, the hardened exterior I’ve built up for myself over the years disguises how fragile I am, deteriorating beneath the surface.
“Were you… with her?” I grunt and clear my throat, desperately fighting away the emotion. “With… them?”
No detail, or explanation needed. She knows exactly what I mean, because she nods. Tormented by her own awful upbringing.
I’m desperate for information, to know where my sister has been, what she’s been doing, and where she could have gone. But there’s something else in me, more powerful than the need to find my sister, that’s been driving me for fifteen years. And it’s hungrier.
“Was it him?” I ask, instantly vibrating. “Diablo…” I clear my throat. “The Ivory… Was it him, who had you and my sister?”
Leah’s brows knit. “I don’t know who that is. Granted, I didn’t know many of their names. Or their real names…”
That’s not his real name.
“Trust me, if you’d met him, you’d know.” I rake fingers through my hair, pushing it back and tucking it behind my ear. “So you don’t know where Avianna is?”
“I don’t. I’m really sorry, Angel, I feel just awful.”
She looks remorseful, and now I feel bad. It’s not her fault. She’s been through something deplorable herself. If anything, she’s helping me more than I had expected.
More than any cartel ratas ever could.
“Please, don’t apologize,” I tell her sincerely. “You’ve given me so much just by telling me this. For fifteen years, I didn’t know if my sister was alive, and now I do… Thanks to you.”
She finally lets a small smile through. “Your sister is such a wonderful person. And she loves you.” Pressure is building, tears welling like a dam about to burst and flood.
“She used to talk about you all the time. Even though she hadn’t seen you since you were both babies, she felt you with her all the time. Physical or not, you two are together.”
My face drops and I gasp a pained breath into my palms. I don’t want to cry in front of a stranger… I don’t want to let this wall crumble.
I’ve done everything in my power to keep it intact and upright for fifteen years, because I don’t want to be weak ever again. But it’s weighing on me… that I still feel like him, every damn day.
Still peering through the slats in that closet door, flinching at the gunfire.
Terrified. I’m still terrified.
Leah gets up and scoots in next to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. She pulls me in close, hugging me as tightly as she can.
That does it.
No holding it back now…
My shoulders shake with silent cries into my hands while my sister’s friend holds me tight…
I just hope that wherever she is, Avianna can feel it too.