Chapter Seventeen #3
Byron’s face drops. “Hang on, so you’ve seen, like—”
“Oh, yea,” Alex chirps. “I’ve seen it all, baby boy.”
“Mother of God…” Byron looks horrified.
Alex laughs, but I’m frowning.
“Alright, back to me,” I grunt. “I’d been in prison for around nine months, and by all accounts, I was becoming sluttier every day…”
“Why is he acting like he’s narrating his memoir?” Dash whispers to Lex, who just shrugs and shakes his head.
“There was very little keeping me in line,” I go on, ignoring them, “being that the syrup-sweet virgin mojito known as Lexington Deon had friend-zoned me, and I was in desperate need of many distractions.” I peek at Lex.
His face is ninety percent unamused, ten percent nostalgically sympathetic.
“And since the dick I wanted wouldn’t give me the time of day, I spent all the other times of day bending and sucking like one of those dippy bird toys. One of my favorite distractions being the incomparably self-serving Officer Jasper.”
I gesture across the room to Jasper, who’s helping Joy and Peters. He tosses up deuces at mention of his name.
I grin. “One day, Jacob had just dropped his children off for a play-date in my lower intestine, and he was feeling particularly generous…”
“Okay, I’m not sure if I should be nauseated, or just thoroughly impressed by what a mesmerizing fucking train wreck you are,” Lex sighs.
“Shh. Please hold all questions and comments until the end of the presentation, baby love.” I wink.
“So Jacob Jasper agreed to bring me for a walk to go get food from his personal stash in the coveted break room belonging to the gen-pop guards. I was excited, because prisoners were never allowed in there. Not only that, but he claimed to have leftover Donut Pub donuts he’d brought back from their purge the night before… ”
“I did have them!” Jasper calls out. “Until some asshole fucking ate them, then lied about it to my face!”
“I didn’t lie,” Hancock defends while the rest of us laugh. “I told you point-blank if you left them in the break room, they were gonna disappear! I just chose not to mention that I’d be the one eating the crap out of them.” He smirks.
“Yea, exactly. You were mad jealous ‘cause you were on some keto bullshit couldn’t get any of your own,” Jasper grumbles. “Then you sneak into the break room like a damn raccoon and eat mine… What stage of ketosis is that?”
“I can’t believe we’re still listening to this argument,” Kemper chuckles. “Three years later!”
“Remember when we went for pizza at Ray’s and he was picking all the cheese and pepperoni off, and Jasper wouldn’t even stand next to him?” Joy snorts to Kemper, and they both cackle.
“I was trying to lose three pounds,” Hancock gripes.
“Whatever, Regina George. It was embarrassing.” Jasper cracks a smile.
“How were they ever in charge?” Trevel asks Byron.
“Needless to say, we found no donuts,” I continue on with my story.
“And Jacob was on a warpath. He dragged me along to the control room and burst through the door, demanding to see the footage of the break room. Also, a cool field trip to another place no inmate had ever seen. The control rooms were super-duper forbidden territory for prisoners, so I was just excited to be there. But it was even more exciting when I caught a look at the secret eye candy they had hidden away in there.”
I smirk at Alex, who waves me off.
“He’s not my usual type,” I add, and he frowns. “But still obviously hot, and he oversaw everything. Like a pretty, gay Wizard of Oz. I had hit the distraction mother load! So, I decided to bust out some of my best moves of seduction…”
“Meaning you got on your knees and unhinged your jaw,” Byron snickers.
I gasp. “Rude! I’m a gentleman…”
“You’re right, I think your exact words were, ‘You’re cute. Wanna bone?’” Alex jeers. “Meanwhile, I’d worked there for like three weeks, and was in the middle of being harassed by a certifiable lunatic raving about donuts.”
“I still say you helped cover it up!” Jasper yells.
“He politely declined my offer, and I respected that,” I hum.
Alex laughs. “Okay! You called me straight like it was an insult—”
“It is…”
“And accused me of queer-baiting you by dressing like a ‘twink top’. That was the insult, by the way,” he mutters.
“Yea, turns out he’s an enthusiastic bottom, so it never would’ve worked,” I sigh.
“Anyway, we passed each other in the halls a few times after that, exchanging casually bitchy looks, which is how bottoms befriend one another in Manhattan, so naturally I was intrigued. Never one to hold a grudge, or be anything less than completely calm and rational at all times, the next time I saw him, I backed him into a corner. Literally. He thought I was going to kick his ass.” I giggle.
“But instead, I told him we should be friends. And I kid you not, he looked so excited.”
“That part’s true,” Alex sighs. “But how do you say no when Alabaster Pen’s Prom Queen wants to be your friend?!”
“You don’t.” I smirk. “We hung out a few times, I vented to him about my massive crush on Lex, and he casually grilled me about Josh Peters, being about as subtle as gonorrhea,” I snicker, poking him in the dimple. “And we’ve been close ever since.”
“That’s so sweet,” Dash croons.
“Is it?” Byron chuckles.
“Very.” Alex smiles at me fondly.
“So, thanks to my darling Alex Carson here being thoroughly uninterested in fucking me, I found a lifelong friend who feeds me gossip from his hand like I’m a goat at the petting zoo,” I tell Angel, who grins.
“But you kept it a secret?” He asks. “I mean, you had to have, right? Otherwise, your source would be compromised…”
“Ah, very perceptive.” I nod. “You are correct, I couldn’t expose our friendship. It’s all part of being a hoarder of secrets. You have to be as good at keeping them as you are at doling them out.”
“And here I thought you told me everything…” Lex pouts.
Slinking my hands around his waist, I mirror the expression. “Love of my life, you held plenty from me during our formative years.”
“Like what??” He scoffs.
“How about the fact that you’d wanted to stick it in me since you bumped into me in the hall five years ago?” I hum, inches from his face. “Actually, I see that as an unconscious revelation, don’t you? That our first ever interaction consisted of you ramming into me from behind…”
“I can’t believe I’m in for a lifetime of this madness,” he gripes. And yet, he’s smiling.
Of course, he is. Because he knows I’m right.
“Well, I think that’s cute,” Angel rasps, peeking at Alex. “But I still want to know why you helped me. Not that I’m not grateful, it just… seems like something you could get in a lot of trouble for.”
“Oh, trust me, I did,” Alex huffs. “I don’t know why I did it, honestly.
I think I was just… getting so sick of the mundane.
So much of that job was robotic. That’s why I always loved watching you guys.
” He looks around at the group of us. “You all aren’t like the rest. You were nothing but pure drama, even in your most mundane moments. ”
We share a pleased look; me, Lex, Dash, Byron… Even Felix, who has pattered his way over, just observing, as he does.
“It was refreshing. You guys were like a twenty-four-seven reality show,” Alex goes on. “The barely good, the very bad, and the hot as fuck.” He chuckles.
“Dude, if we had our own show, that could be the tagline!” Dash cackles.
“If we had our own show, it’d be banned in thirty-four countries,” I sneer.
“Basically, I knew right away when I saw you that I wasn’t going to turn you in, or report you,” Alex continues, talking to Angel. “The supervisor from the East Wing control room was probably going to do it… but then the Warden killed him.”
The amusement slips away quickly as we all reacquaint ourselves with the reality of our situation.
If we did have a show, it’d have one scary ass antagonist.
“Was that Steve Islo?” Felix finally speaks up.
Alex nods. “He wasn’t a bad guy. Just trying to get by like the rest of us. But after that, I was really worried. I mean, we all knew about you getting the keys to the cells, killing O’Malley and setting Dash free…” he says to Felix, who gulps visibly, glancing uneasily at Byron.
“Water under the bridge, fam.” Byron rubs his shoulder.
Little Felix Darcey appears delighted.
“Still, I made the conscious decision not to tell anyone,” Alex professes. “I figured if I got caught, I’d just play dumb. But people did find out… The worst being that dickwad, Carla Zaza.”
He makes a face. I don’t know the guy, but if my friend hates him, now I do too.
“I can’t believe you went through all of that just to help me, when you didn’t even know who I was or what I was doing,” Angel gasps, marveling at my sweet friend Alex.
“To be fair, they would’ve held us hostage regardless,” he says. “The control room was the only thing keeping most of the prisoners from fighting with Velle. That and they used my relationship with Josh to keep Velle in line.”
“Were you alright in there…?” I ask, losing the humor at the thought of him being mistreated.
“It was… rough at times.” The trauma he suffered is still visible in his expression. “We had barely any food, and they waited until we were at our weakest to fuck with us. Well, me mostly…”
“Jesus,” I grumble, rage rising in me for those assholes.
Okay, maybe now I’m excited at the prospect of shooting them.
You fuck with my family, and you lose.
Alex pouts. “I knew Josh was probably freaking out.”
“He was,” Dash jumps in. “We saw him when we first got here. He and Jasper were losing their shit because you and Hancock were both being held hostage.”
Alex glances at Peters as he stomps back inside with Velle. Josh’s eyes immediately land on Alex, and he smiles; that relief at knowing his man is finally safe visible in the way his posture changes.
Unfortunately, the problem is that we’re not safe. Not yet.
And it’s obvious from the way Daddy has just strode in here that playtime is officially over.
“Alright, warriors!” Velle barks. The whole room goes silent before the last syllable is uttered.
He’s addressing us, but also speaking into the walkie so the men outside and in the lookout points can hear.
“We’re in position. I just got word from the scouts…
They’re on their way. Give it five minutes and shit will be popping off.
Our cover is excellent, and we’re in a much better spot now that we have the manpower and firepower from the prison.
But make no mistake, they have the numbers, which is why we’re strictly playing defense for now, until we get an opportunity to drive ‘em back. Those of us in this room will post up in here as long as we can. I know he has targets on most of us…”
Me and Lex share a look.
On him, he means. The bounty on Velle’s head is goddamn priceless at this point.
His eyes shift to Angel. “You stay with me, no matter what. I’m keeping an eye on you myself.”
Angel appears visibly nervous, and I don’t blame him. We still don’t know the true nature of The Ivory’s intentions for him.
“Hug your loved ones,” Velle says, determined. “Get in one last drink, smoke, piss… Because it’s about to be pee-pee pants city real soon.”
“Negan reference,” Byron whispers to Felix, who nods.
“All I’ll say is I’m honored to fight shoulder-to-shoulder with you menaces. And don’t get me killed. ‘Cause I have no intention of dying until he’s bleeding out himself. Let’s go.”
The second he releases the button, a chant rings out around us.
“No prison no more!”
“Fuck yea.” Velle smirks.
Sucking in a breath, I take Lex’s hand, gripping it tight. We’re all just standing around, comforting one another while we panic and try to act like we’re not.
Angel offers Alex a kind smile, before wandering over to Velle.
Sighing, I turn to Alex one last time. “What ever happened to Mickey, anyway?”
“They left him locked up with Carlos Zaza and those other cartel assholes.” He grins.
“Gotta love karma,” I hum.
He winks at me, sauntering off to be with his man.
For the next three and a half minutes…
And then the fight’s on.
“I love you,” I take Lex’s face in my hands. “You know that, right?”
“Don’t,” he grunts. “Don’t say that like you aren’t sure what’s gonna happen. I need you to be confident enough for the both of us, like you always are.”
Fuck me, I just love this kid. More than food, water, oxygen.
I love him more than life.
Dropping a soft kiss on his worried lips, I pull back just enough to whisper, “Just remember, baby… No matter what happens, you and me are indestructible.”