35. Ivory
After that , he still had a surprise?
Adrian swept his gaze over her again, dark and commanding and cloaked in his trademark black leather, but he looked more elated than she’d ever seen.
“I might need a minute,” she admitted, leaning back on her elbows.
His lips twitched, slick with her juice. “All right. But you’re lucky I’m giving you a break.”
She laughed. “What a lucky girl I am.”
It was supposed to be a joke, but her heart almost burst all over again at realizing what today meant—what this meant.
She could really be his.
She sat up and stretched, noticing the mess in her room, which had become even worse. Half of the pillows on her bed were now scattered along with the heap of clothes on her floor. “It’s not usually like this,” she explained. “I couldn’t find the boots, then you called before I finished getting ready, and—Wow. I can’t believe that just happened.”
He grinned. “I plan to have it happen a lot more often.”
The thought made her weak again, in the best way. “So it’s official? As in, we’re…” She trailed off, uncertain of which term to use. Fitting them into a label had never been important, but she wanted to make sure they were on the same page.
“I’d be honored to be your boyfriend.” His palm caressed her calf, rings warm and smooth where his skin was hot and rough, and he bent to place a soft kiss on her knee. “Your knight. Your Master. Whatever you want me to be.”
She blushed, adoring all three. “Everything. You can be my everything.”
“I like that.” He grinned, eyes bright and molten gold.
“Are there going to be rules?” she asked.
“A few.” He helped her remove the stuck boot and reached for the pair of jeans that had fallen on the floor. “I wanted to show you the surprise regardless of your decision—but now it can be a way to explain my rules.”
That piqued her interest. Wiggling into the jeans, she shook off her post-orgasm fatigue and put on her sweater. Adrian kneeled by the bed to lace up her boots.
The simple gesture destroyed her as effectively as all his promising words and indulgent kisses. Not only did he care to take her clothes off, he would get on his knees to help her put them back on. She expected the roles to be reversed—to be the one at his feet, and certainly, there would be a time for that—but she also recognized the action for something deeper. Their exchange of power went both ways. He was willing to give as much as he would take.
She fidgeted, feeling more important than she’d grown accustomed to.
He finished and looked up as she chewed her lip. “Something on your mind?”
She hated to ask. Being vulnerable was much easier when it meant being bound and gagged, but his touch had been both arousing and comforting, and it made her way too honest. “Am I worth it? Changing your plans and going through all the extra effort to be together?”
Adrian rose to his feet with certainty written in his eyes. “Yes, you are.”
Warmth flooded her veins.
He reached out and helped her to her feet beside him. “It’ll take time, but you’ll get used to knowing your worth. I’ll make sure of it.”
His unwavering confidence in her had been more than she’d expected, and hearing it spoken so plainly felt like drinking fresh water when she’d been living in a desert. He didn’t avoid the topic or reach for reasons to prove her value, either. He accepted her as is, which was more than she’d ever done for herself.
She cast her eyes down, realizing just how much she’d gotten used to belittling herself and accepting the same from others. Some days, she couldn’t even tell if her self-perception was her own or a mutated version of someone else’s. If her goals and dreams were hers or inherited from her parents.
She looked up, accepting them as true equals. A black knight and his cherished witch. “Thank you.”
“My pleasure.”
Once dressed and armed with retouched makeup, she made quick work of stuffing the clothes back in her closet and together, they headed out. The earlier rain had reduced to a mist, cold and refreshing against her face, but the clouds remained heavy and clung to the sky as the sun tried to burn its way through.
For weeks, spring had merely been a glimmer on the horizon, but today, its warm tendrils wove into the air. Even the earth beneath her feet seemed more alive, and she imagined seeds germinating as small sprouts rose out of the mud.
As they approached Adrian’s bike, a bright splash of purple made her gasp. “Don’t tell me,” she whispered, spinning to him and bouncing on the balls of her feet. “The extra helmet is for me?”
His smile widened. “Yup. It’s all yours, sweetheart.”
Dangling from the seat next to his black one hung another helmet with a vibrant violet visor, the rest a matte black. It came with two small, pointed ears laid back on the head like a mythical creature.
She squealed and pounced on him with a bear hug. “Ohmygosh, thankyou-thankyou-thankyou!”
He wrapped his arms around her and returned the embrace, chuckling. “I’m glad you like it, but there’s one more thing to go with it.”
Electricity hummed in her chest. Nothing could make this day better. Yet there was more.
Adrian stepped up to the bike, unlocked their helmets, and handed hers over. She took it carefully as if it would break at the slightest excess force—even though the helmet would protect her, not the other way around. Inside, she found a pair of deep mauve leather gloves. The soft material stretched slightly around her fingers as she tried them on, forming a perfect barrier against the misty cold.
“These are perfect,” she breathed, repeating her thoughts out loud and turning to him. “Thank you so much.”
He’d already gotten on the bike, wearing his own helmet for the first time. The crinkles around his eyes showed through his visor as he reached over to help put hers on. “There, now you’re all set. Let’s go.”
???
Half an hour later, they pulled off on a back road next to what looked like a vacant fenced lot. The large, paved space housed an old warehouse and several smaller sheds with a handful of cars scattered along one end—more than a few of which had cracked windows, patches of rust, and various missing parts. The smell of rain saturated the air, dampening the undertones of rubber and oil.
“Where are we?” she asked as Adrian put out the kickstand and shut off the engine. Little hints of sunlight kept fading in and out from behind the clouds, highlighting the clusters of graffiti on the walls one moment, then plunging them into shadow the next.
He removed his helmet and shook his hair loose. “An old shop-turned-junkyard that’s owned by Royal Flush. Raptor gave us permission to use it today, but I’d advise you not to go poking around.”
She nodded, glancing over the myriad of graffiti paintings, the largest of which read ‘Royal Flush – All or Nothing’ around a skeletal hand holding a playing card. Her gaze drifted to other pieces of art as Adrian walked up to the tall chain link fence, unlocking the gate and pushing it open.
When he came back, instead of driving in, he reached over and tugged her hips up to the center of the seat.
“What are you doing?” she giggled, little tingles amplifying his touch.
“Not me,” he replied. “ You .”
Her laughter petered out. “What?”
His eyes still had the little crinkles at the edges, but their golden core looked as serious as ever. He wasn’t joking. Her smile dissolved.
“Me…what?”
“You’re going to drive the bike.”
If the helmet hadn’t been strapped under her chin, her jaw would’ve hit the floor. “Oh, no…no, no, no,” she protested. “I’m more than happy to stay in my place behind you.”
“I’ll keep you safe,” he assured, not concerned in the least. “You don’t have to go fast or drive more than a few feet.” He paused, waiting for her to disagree again, but her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth.
“Bikes are about balance, and so is life,” he continued. “There are things within our control and things we can only try to prepare for. It’s easy to get thrown off when we come across an obstacle. It’s easy to feel like you can't ever get up and trust yourself again, but if we only pay attention to things we can’t control, then we start to think we’re useless when we aren’t. I struggled with that for a long time.”
Despite the truth in his words, the mere thought of driving the bike paralyzed her with fear. A pit had quickly sunk in her belly, and she kept her hands firmly locked together in her lap, ignoring the handles now looming within reach. Of everything he could’ve asked of her, this was the one thing she couldn’t do. There was no way.
He gave her a knowing look that did nothing to calm her nerves, then took her gloved hands in his. “If you really don’t want to, I won’t force it. With me, you’ll always get the choice—you can have control or let me take over—but I need you to see you’re more capable than you think, Iv. I want you to set yourself free from doubt.”
An ache spread from her fingers to her wrist, and she realized her hands had clamped around his, gripping much too tight. The same suffocating feeling resurfaced from when Jace had pressed her to the wall, his fingers digging into her arm. The same feeling she had when her mom told her she wasn’t living up to her potential—to the family’s expectations. Every time she failed, it felt worse, but here, the consequences would be far more severe.
And disappointing her black knight would hurt most of all.
“I can’t,” she whispered, unable to lift her voice. “I’ll crash. It’ll ruin—”
Adrian leaned in and sucked on her neck below the helmet, inching over her sweet spot. His lips cut off her train of thought as her blood pulled to the surface. Everything became fuzzy, her body keen to soak up every ounce of his affection, relishing every sharp tug of pain as it bloomed over her pulse. Her panic twisted into a knife of liquid heat that wound down to her core.
“Say ‘I can’t’ again, and you’ll get a mark each time,” he warned, tone balancing on that thin line between admonishing and tender.
She took an unsteady breath, the tremble lingering in her voice. “That’s supposed to deter me?”
“I could always bite,” he murmured, running his teeth over the lace on her shoulder, breath hot against the crisp air.
She shivered.
“I know you can do it,” he continued, pulling away enough to look her in the eyes and returning her death grip with a squeeze. “Because you never said you didn’t want to, and if it’s something you want, I’ll make sure you get it.”
Desire warred with her unshakable apprehension—the desire to please him but also the desire to prove herself wrong. To prove she was strong enough to handle it.
She nibbled on her lip, relying on the remnants of his touch, the strength of his presence. “Will you ride with me?”
“Of course,” he said, then placed her hand on the handlebar. “Let me show you how it works.”
He walked her through the basics: what to press and when, how the bike would react, and how it would feel. If she wanted, he told her where to drive once they got past the gate, but she could hardly think about more than that.
Starting the engine seemed like the hardest part, and with his guidance, she memorized each step, repeating the actions as he explained them. Finally, he strapped his helmet on and settled in behind her. The firm plane of abdomen supported her back, his thighs sturdy guardrails and arms a harness that held her in one piece, forcing her to confront the challenge.
She swallowed, hesitant to move a single inch. No matter how much encouragement he offered, the fear wouldn’t leave.
“Kickstand first,” he reminded.
She nudged the bar, bracing herself as the weight of the bike shifted. Even with both of their feet planted on the ground, it didn’t feel stable at all. Knowing the physics that kept the bike moving didn’t change the fact that it weighed more than three hundred pounds.
She straightened, refocusing as her mind echoed with a chorus of I can’t. I shouldn’t. I’m not built for this .
“Good, now start the engine.” Adrian’s voice cut through her thoughts, and she latched onto it.
Tightening her grip, she started the ignition and twisted the throttle. His hand closed in over hers, guiding the engine to a roar that drowned out everything else. All that remained was them and the bike, the pavement and the gate ahead.
Deep breaths. Her torso expanded into his, and she lifted her gaze to look through the small visor.
Adrian had been everything she needed—everything she wanted. He’d been her anthem in the day and her lullaby at night, a man who saw her weakness and turned it into strength. The least she could do was give him this. She could hand over her fear, let him have her insecurity and her trust, and then defy her own self-imposed limits.
“All right,” she said, more to herself than to him, and eased the bike forward.