Forty-Two—Ivy
I
couldn’t believe Mia made me try on the Pradas. I couldn’t believe how I fell in love with them. And Gucci. And Manolo Blahnik. And Pedro Garcia. And Jimmy Choo. Of course, she had to capture me strutting in each pair with her fancy camera. I’m pretty sure I tried on the equivalent of the cost of a small condo, but it felt out of this world to walk around Giselle’s Designer Shoes in $1200 sandals. They took my breath away. But I was still a hard sell since I couldn’t believe my father had actually authorized this insanity. Mia just shook her head and insisted that she had given him the heads up and that we had his blessing. And when I still couldn’t bring myself to choose between the Gucci ‘Lelias’ and the Manolo mules, she said I should get both. But I couldn’t do it. So, I walked out of the store, but I heard Mia tell the salesgirl not to put anything away— we’ll be right back . She caught up with me just outside the entrance and took my hand. “Have I ever told you about Kyle Crandell?”
“Who?”
“He was the love of my life when I was thirteen. But he didn’t love me back—can you even imagine?” She checked her watch and said, “It’s a story to be savored over lunch. So, pizza or Chinese?”
“I vote lettuce wraps,” I said, suddenly starved.
“Girl after my own heart!” she said and tugged me down the sidewalk.
An hour-and-a-half later, I was wearing the Guccis and carrying the Manolos. And every step was more liberating than I could possibly have imagined. Walking away shoes—who knew! Leaving behind what I could not change and doing it to the tune of $1,457. 22. But, I’m sorry, in the harsh light of Tim it didn’t seem indulgent, it seemed lifesaving. Symbolically walking away— far and fast, with my head held high , to quote Lullaby Sutton via her niece—felt a little amazing. I felt a little amazing. And of course, Mia captured it by taking my picture when I wasn’t looking. But I didn’t care; I was having a surprisingly great day. And all the way to the campus, I couldn’t stop looking at my feet.
But then Bo called demanding to know where I was, and he did not sound good.
He was waiting for me when I came out of the library, where I’d been immersed in Precious Bane . He looked awful.
“Wh…what are you doing here?” I said, taking in his running gear and the sweatband holding back his wavy hair.
He didn’t say anything. He just took my hand and pulled me toward a bench.
“Bo…What are you doing?”
He looked hard at me, like he was trying to remember exactly what he came to say. Suddenly we were standing so close that if not for the pain in his face, it might have seemed a romantic gesture, which I suddenly realized I would not have been totally opposed to. But it wasn’t that. Terrible was radiating off him. “Bo…You’re scaring me. What’s happened?”
“C’mere,” he said, pulling me into his arms. “I want to hold onto you while I tell you this.” And then into my ear he said something completely unbelievable about my mother and a car and broken things and doctors and that I was booked on the 10:10 to Savannah that night.
I went limp as he eased me onto the bench, where I asked him to tell me again. And when I started to tremble, he held me tighter. I looked around me, trying to understand. Everywhere, people moved and spoke and laughed, and I thought how was that even possible when my world had just skidded to an absolute standstill? It was like I’d hit a wall. For a moment, nothing made sense, and my face had gone a little numb, and I wondered what had just happened. I looked at Bo. “Tell me again.”
So, he did. And this time his words took root in me. My mother. Very bad accident. Hospital. Booked on the red eye out of San Jose. I let out the breath I’d been holding and then dug through my purse for my phone. Geneva answered on the first ring. “Gran,” I blurted. “How is she?”
“Oh, my sweet girl,” my grandmother coughed. “She’s out of surgery, but…”
“Gran?”
“Ivy…the doctor is…not optimistic, sweetheart. But he says if she can get through the next twenty-four hours, she might…”
“Might what, Gran?”
“Survive for the next twenty-four…”
I swallowed a sob. “Gran, tell me…What do you really think? What is the Universe telling you?”
Geneva took a hard swallow to answer. “It’s telling me you need to come home, sug.”
I nodded but couldn’t speak. It felt like if my voice came out of me, everything else would spill out of me with it. I dropped my suddenly weighty phone into my lap and Bo picked it up.
“Geneva,” he said. “Yes. Her flight gets in at 8:35 in the morning. Can you arrange for someone to meet her?” Then he nodded. “Okay. I’ll let you know.”
For a moment, I just stared into what pretended to be an ordinary afternoon. Was my mother dying? These were words thought in a foreign language. Was she? Could she? The deceptive scene before me blurred with my tears, and I felt Bo take my hand. He didn’t say anything. He just waited for me to catch up with this horror. Finally, I looked over at him, desperate to not do this by myself. “Will you come with me? Please, Bo? Please?”
Agony and shame filled his eyes, and I watched panic bloom there. “Ivy…”
“Please, Bo. I need you. I can’t do this by myself. ”
“I…Ivy. I can’t. I…I can’t fly…” he said, suddenly trying to catch his breath. “I can’t get on a plane. I’m so…I’m so sorry.”
I looked at him in disbelief, then let out a stupid sob as Bo’s Bo- ness slapped me. “Of course not…it’s okay. I shouldn’t…”
“Ivy…”
I checked my watch, cutting him off. 3:20. “I have to tell my dad. I have to tell him what’s happened.”
“Ivy… I’m… sss so sorry. I…”
His ragged breath scared me, and I could see anxiety escalating in his eyes. “No. Bo! I was dumb. I was kidding, I’m sorry. Forget what I said.” I breathed deep, reconstituted a bit, hoping he would, too. “I’ll be fine,” I lied. “I wasn’t thinking. But I have to go. I have to tell my dad. And I have to hold his hand when I do.”
“Ivy…please. Don’t…don’t hate me.”
“Bo, it’s fine. Just breathe. Slow down, slow down,” I said as I rubbed his back with one hand and dialed Mia with the other. I was supposed to meet her at the track at 3:40. She might not even be out of class yet, but she answered.
“Hey…I’m just walking out, be there in ten—”
“Mia, Bo’s here, and he’s in trouble. We’re on a bench on the Common between the Fine Arts building and the library.”
“What? Why?”
“Please hurry!”
Four excruciating minutes later, I saw Mia running toward us, her long skirt and long blond hair flying behind her. She was holding her sandals. When she reached us, panting, I stood up. “I need to borrow your car. Bo can explain.”
She looked from me to her brother, trying to land on something that made sense, but she didn’t dawdle. She handed me her keys. “Are you all right? What’s happened?”
“It’s Bree,” I said. “There was an accident…I have to tell my dad…”
“Oh, my Lord…” She looked at Bo, who was bent over and looking at the ground.
I couldn’t hold back my tears. “I have to go, Mia…”
“Go. Go!” she said. “I’ve got this.”