Chapter 40
Louis
I love it when David enters the club at ten sitting down in his usual spot.
He’s just there, quiet, but I feel his presence.
I see the smile on his lips when women try their luck, I feel his gaze when other men flirt with me.
I know he’s jealous; some guests are very aggressive in their approach, probably because it’s well known that I’m gay.
And until six months ago, I used to go home with some hot guy regularly.
Funnily enough, they all know that. Somehow, the fact that I’ve been leaving the club with the same man every Sunday morning for almost six months hasn’t gotten around yet. It’s strange how selective people’s perceptions can be.
I see the man in his late twenties in my section of the bar and can’t help rolling my eyes. Paul catches me immediately, of course, and nudges me from the side. “Romeo is back. I was wondering what happened to him. I haven’t seen him in a while.” Neither have I, but I didn’t miss him either.
To be honest, I was rather glad when he stopped showing up. Every night I worked, he was there, every night he flirted with me, every night he was stunned that I didn’t want to go home with him, but with others. If he had taken a closer look, he might have seen for himself that I have a type.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s a handsome man, but a little too feminine for my taste, too delicate.
I look a little further to the right, to the end of the bar.
Okay, maybe he’s just not quite David enough.
A little too short, even though he’s still taller than me, a little too slim, a little too dark-haired.
The last time he was here was just before Christmas, when he made a big splash, bringing me a huge bouquet of flowers. It must have been really expensive. Of course, I didn’t accept it, which he thought was a shame, but he was okay with it. At some point during the night, he left, looking dejected.
To be honest, I really hoped for him that he might have met someone nice. But he’s back again, leaning against the bar with that same coquettish hip sway. His nose is a little higher, but what came across as confident and natural last year seems artificial and fake tonight. Something feels wrong.
“Should I take over?”
I silently shake my head and make my way over. With both hands on the counter, I lean forward.
“Well, hello, long time no see. What can I get you? The usual?”
A smile straight out of a toothpaste ad spreads across his face, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“Oh, don’t tell me you still remember what I drink.” He puts his tiny hand on mine and I see David shifting around in his chair out of the corner of my eye. “I was sure you’d have forgotten about me a long time ago, with all the cute men here.”
His voice tries to sound casual and flirty, but he doesn’t have his vocal cords under control. I feel sorry for him. He’s a shadow of his former self, and I have no idea what happened to him.
“Batida Cherry, as usual?” I carefully pull my hand out from under his and reach for a glass above me.
“Do you have umbrellas?” He compulsively tries to hold on to a part of himself that somehow no longer belongs to him. At least that’s how it feels to me.
“I’ll find one for you, okay?”
“Thanks, you’re the best.” Too much.
I fix his drink, then I go over to David. Gently I place my hand on his. “Hey, look at me. He was a regular, but nothing ever happened, I promise.”
“But you looked very intimate.”
Smiling, I join our hands, let my fingers slide between his, and bring the back of his hand to my lips. “That is very intimate.”
“Oh, what do I see? The man of my dreams has committed and not to me.” My regular puts his hand on his chest, very dramatically, and I can’t help but give him a mischievous grin. Then I look at David.
“To be precise, I was never really available.”
“How long have you two cuties known each other?” Waving his index finger back and forth between us while speaking.
“Almost eight years.”
“Wow, I wasn’t expecting that. I’m sorry if I...” He swallows frantically and blinks away something wet in his eyes. Is he crying? “If I was too pushy somehow. I... I’m sorry.”
He turns around and heads for the exit, but David stops him. “Wait. Are you okay?”
The smile isn’t real, his voice too shaky as he replies. “I’m fine. I’m always fine. Always.”
With an exchanged look, it’s clear that neither of us believes a word he says. “What’s your name?”
With a sad smile, he turns to me. “You’re asking me that now, after almost a year? Sebastian. My name is Sebastian.” Then he’s gone.
Ben, our security guard, looks questioningly in our direction and I signal to him to keep an eye on Sebastian while he’s here in the club. That’s all I can do.
“You were never really available, huh?”
I shrug innocently, turn around, and do what I’m actually paid to do here.
***
“Where are we going today?” Impatiently I tug at David’s hand as we leave the club.
“Can you still walk, or are you too tired?”
“No, I’m fine.” He stops for a moment and looks me up and down, then hangs his head. I don’t understand what it means. For a moment, I had the feeling he was thinking about taking my hand, but I don’t question him.
We fall into a brisk pace and after a short time we are standing in front of the castle.
Does he want to go to the castle gardens with me?
Joggers usually gather there in the morning.
So far, we’ve been to rather remote places.
Or places that are remote until eight in the morning.
But David surprises me when he doesn’t turn right behind the castle, but left, and then walks across the lawn toward a cluster of trees. Now I’m curious.
And very surprised when a wide open space appears behind the trees. In the middle are five tall columns with water running down. I thought I knew every corner of the castle gardens, but obviously I was wrong.
“It’s beautiful here, isn’t it?” Tentatively, he puts his arms around me from behind and rests his head on my shoulder.
“Really beautiful. How did you find this place?”
“Google Maps. No idea why no one ever comes here, probably too far off the beaten tracks.” David is so close, so damn close.
I feel his breath on my cheek, warm and steady.
I feel his heartbeat against my back, a little faster than normal.
He’s nervous, but he’s here with me. I lean my head to the right till we touch.
My right hand finds its place on David’s other cheek blindly, his skin as soft as I remembered it. I miss him. No one feels like him.