Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
LILITH
My back clicks when I stretch, leaning back in my seat at my kitchen table. I look down at the design in front of me and smile.
I am designing a cake for a couple that represents them as a lesbian couple. So I am designing a rainbow sponge, with flavors that marry. Plus a design around the cake that screams them as a couple, with balloons, and pottery, as they both work in that industry.
On top I am making a sugar rainbow that will arch across the top and melt down one side of the structure. It will look amazing when I am finished, if they approve the design, but thankfully I have 3 different designs for them to select from.
Standing from my chair, I walk over to my fridge, needing a cold drink.
My phone beeps from its place on the table; sighing, I walk over to it, dreading that it could be my mother. It has been two weeks since I received the invitation to my cousin and ex-boyfriend’s wedding.
The man I was supposed to marry, who I caught having sex with my cousin, is demanding that I attend their wedding so it looks good for the family that I am letting sleeping dogs lie.
Whereas, in actual fact, I would love to smother them in honey, and bury them up to their heads in a field, then let loose millions of fire ants.
Just saying.
Picking up my phone, I can’t stop the smile from slipping across my face when I see it is a picture of Archer, my cousin Tree’s new baby boy, with her husband Royal.
Oh, their path to love will make an amazing story to tell their kids and grandkids. I was unfortunate enough to miss that weekend in Las Vegas, but it ended up with everyone getting drunk, and then weeks later, Royal found out that he and Tree had actually gotten married while there. He persuaded her and won her heart, not that he gave her a choice, but then again, I think that all of the Rugged Skulls members are like that.
My cousin Kady has just fallen for her man, Calder, winning her over with their son, Kane.
Seeing my cousins find their love, their hearts, helps me think that I will get that one day. I am a hopeless romantic at heart, but I am also not na?ve in thinking that men do not break women’s hearts, just like my ex.
Tree: Archer wants to say ‘hi,’
I quickly type out a reply.
Me: Hi, Archer. Auntie Lil will be there soon for snuggles.
Tree: We will be home all day, if you want to come around today.
I look to the table, where my laptop and design sketch pad are, and decide that I could do with a break, and what better way to take a break than with baby snuggles.
Me: Let me finish what I need to do and I will be there.
Tree: See you soon. X
Placing my phone down on the counter, I take a drink from my bottle of water. A break will do my mind some good— it will help clear everything out before I get into the next few clients’ designs that I need to prep before the weekend.
The build-up to summer is the best time for me and my business. Wicked Sugar takes up a lot of my time, but I also love doing the custom cakes and sugar fun too. With local kids needing to save money before they go off to college, I now have three people working for me, alongside Kristine, a lady who is older than me and who loves baking as much as I do.
I also trust her to follow my recipes; when I need to work on a wedding or birthday cake, she can bake what we need for the store. She is also being trained by me to handle hot sugar and learn how to make sugar designs that will also help me out in the long run, but ultimately, I do all the sugar work, as it is my baby.
Collecting my sketch pad and colored pencils, I’m looking forward to spending some time with Archer. It is crazy how much he changes daily. Thinking of this new baby who was brought into a world that is filled with love, support, and loyalty, I know that he will have an amazing life growing up.
I want to bring a child into the world who is surrounded by love and sweetness. I want a man who will see me and only me. Is that too much to ask for?
I know that not all men are perfect, but I do believe that everyone has someone out there for them. Fate or soulmates, I believe in all of that, my heart knows that there is someone for me.
An image of Jack flashes through my mind and my breath catches.
Closing my eyes, I hold onto the image, seeing Jack smiling at me, with Dom smiling, running around the garden, being chased by a little boy who looks just like him.
With what Jack said to me when I saw him at the garage, it makes my heart hopeful that something more will happen, but I also know that he is a desired man, he has the single dad thing going for him, and he can have any woman he wants.
I am simply me.
Men do not notice me.
I am taller than the average woman: long legs, and long torso, but Jack still towers over me.
My long red hair hangs in natural waves down my back, something my mom always hated, as she and my sister are blonde. I have boobs that in my opinion are too big for my body, but I have seen Jack looking at them a time or two, so maybe he likes them.
My eyes are a mixture of pale blue and green, it shows the Irish blood that runs through my veins. Something from my father’s side.
I may not be what my mother ever wanted, and believe me, she told me often enough that I was my father’s child, not hers.
My phone rings from the table, slightly moving across the surface from the vibration.
Seeing the word ‘MOTHER,’ my heart sinks and my stomach knots.
With a deep breath pulled in, I pluck up the nerve to answer the call.
“Mother,” I greet.
She huffs. “Well, it is about time, I rung so many times I was going to hang up. I do not have time to rush around after you, young lady, I have important things to do.”
I roll my eyes, because my mother’s important things are sipping wine, or something stronger, with her lady friends, down at the country club, while they fake planning some gala or charity event, when in actual fact they are using it as an excuse to drink the day away.
“I am sorry, Mother, I was working on a wedding cake design for a client.” I sigh. “What can I help you with?”
I regret the question as soon as it slips from my lips. Shit.
“You can respond to the invite for one thing. You are being very childish by not attending your cousin’s wedding, Lilith. You need to get over what happened. Clearly you and Christopher were not meant to be. He has found love and happiness with Vanessa.”
This time it is painful with how hard I roll my eyes.
“If you say so, Mother,” I gripe, and regret swirls in my stomach.
My mother hates sarcasm, but I have it on default when it comes to her most of the time. I blame my uncle for that side of me. Usually, I hide in my shell when it comes to my family, because it is not worth the fight with them.
I never win an argument; it is easier to nod and walk away.
Call me a doormat or weak, but I want to live my life with peace and happiness.
“Do not take that tone with me, young lady. God, I swear my brother has had a bad influence on you, and since you have moved near that bunch of criminals, you have changed,” she snipes.
“They are not criminals, Mother. They are a good club, they help people,” I defend the club, my voice taking a hard tone.
I hate that my family thinks they are bad people; they may not fully follow the law, but they do it for the sake of the innocent and to help people.
“Again with the tone. Remember where you came from, Lilith Cullen. Your father may have helped you with that silly little shop where you entertain and serve people, but I can take it away. Now, you will respond to the wedding invitation. You will arrive looking your best with a supportive smile on your face.”
My heart sinks into my knotted stomach. Bile tries to escape but I push it down as my body becomes cold and heavy. I hate that she makes me feel like this; she has the ability to always make me feel foolish with my baking and designs.
She wins again.
“Yes, Mother.”
“Good. I will have dresses sent over to you that I approve of, and you will select one. Do not fight me on this, Lilith. You will be booked in for hair and makeup, and for heaven’s sake, do not color any ingredients with bare hands. I will not be happy if you attend your dear cousin’s wedding with stained fingers,” she snaps.
“Yes, Mother.” My voice is meek, and self-disgust swarms in my body.
“Right. Vanessa will not tolerate you bringing up your past relationship with Christopher.” Like I would want to relive that disaster. “You will simply stay away from him unless they approach you. You will not upset the beautiful bride on her day. This is not about you, Lilith. God, we all know how selfish you can be at times.”
She berates me for a few more minutes while I sink into my chair and take it, unable to be strong enough to stop her. Zoning out, I think of Jack and Dom, smiling, thinking how they bantered with each other when I last saw them at the club.
Their relationship is the best, and every parent should be able to reach a level of communication with their children.
“Are you listening to me, Lilith?” My mother’s sharp voice brings me out of my thoughts.
“Yes. I will stay away from the groom and the bride. I will eat what is placed in front of me, and I will only have one or two drinks. I will plaster a smile on my face and pretend to be happy and not the person they left heartbroken.” I say flatly.
Yeah, I have trained myself to zone out but also subconsciously take in what she is saying to me.
My mother and cousin seem to think that I am still cut up over what they did to me, but in all honesty, I really could give no more fucks about what they did or what they are doing. I have moved on with my life, and I am happily living here in Fort Lauderdale.
When my father gave me access to my trust fund early after what happened, he told me to live my best life without my mother’s daily intrusion. Many times, I ask my father why he doesn’t leave my mother; he is still a handsome man, with a kind and caring personality, but he always replies that he can handle my mom and that he loves her.
“I am glad that you can see some sense. Lord knows you are so much like your uncle.” I can’t help but smile at her words that she meant as an insult but I take it as a compliment.
I go to reply but she ends the call. Typical. Everything is on her terms.
Needing to clear my head before I go and pay Tree and baby Archer a visit, I leave my things laid out on the table, and go to my bedroom to change into better clothes that are more suited for public visibility.
Dressing in a cream bird-print, knee-length dress with a small collar and a thin brown belt at the waist, I slip my feet into a pair of brown flats and pull my hair out of its messy bun, and thankfully it adds to my natural curls. With my purse hooked over my shoulder, I slip my phone into my dress pocket, before leaving my apartment and taking a walk along the beachfront to clear my head.
Walking is good for the soul as my great Aunt Clarisse used to tell us. So, hopefully it will help today.