Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
LILITH
My body shakes, my breathing harsh as I stare down at the box that was left outside my apartment door.
When I got out of the shower there was a knock. Quickly wrapping my towel around my body, I padded to the door. Peering through the peephole, I checked to see who it was because I was not expecting anyone today.
When I saw there was no one there, I slowly opened the door a crack, and checked. Again, I saw no one was there, so I opened the door wide, and that’s when I noticed the box on the floor.
The idea of Jack popped into my head, that maybe he sent me something. Then the reality hit that I have not seen him in over a week. My doing, not his.
The night in the hotel was beyond the best night of my life. We woke up wrapped in each other’s arms, and I felt wanted, safe, and needed. The lust between us was crazy intense, and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
We left the hotel after breakfast in bed and another round of amazing sex in the shower. Then we drove home.
Jack dropped me off at my apartment with a kiss that made my knees weak and my panties wet. His smile is disarming, and it scares me to think what it will do to me if I fall in love with him and he breaks my heart. Images of what Christopher had done to me over the years swam in my head, it made my heart rate pick up and my palms sweat.
When Jack left, it hit me that Jack could ruin me, and I freaked.
I have dodged his calls and texts.
Childish and pathetic I know, but I am struggling with how to handle how he makes me feel, but also how I will cope if he ever hurts me.
For days I went through everything that Christopher did to me, and it made me see that I was a freaking doormat, and I hate that. I conformed to what my family expected of me, and I now see that I am not that person anymore, but some damage has already been done.
No matter how beautiful Jack made me feel, how sexy, I have not been able to get my ex’s words out of my head, not to mention my mother’s snide remarks.
My vision blurs as I look down at the dead fish in the pretty box.
It has to have come from him .
He is the one who called me a dead fish.
Why is he doing this?
He cheated on me with my cousin then freaking married her.
An image flashes through my mind of how angry Jack was at the wedding when he heard what Christopher said to me. I know that he plans on hurting my ex, whether he is a cop or not. He said those words.
I can’t have Jack being hurt or sent to jail for me. He has to think of Dominic.
The club will have the police on their backs if they get wind of this, and I do not want to bring my troubles to them. It is my issue, and I will have to talk to my parents to get him to stop.
“Shit.” I cry into my hands as I sink to the floor.
Why can’t he just leave me alone?
He got married to my cousin for crying out loud.
This is not the first time something has happened this week linking to my ex. I got a text message from an unknown number, asking if Jack liked eating smelly days’ old fish. Maybe some should be delivered to the club if he likes it so much.
I cried that night, lying in my bed and thinking over my relationship with Christopher like it was a movie playing in my head. So many red flags went up around me and I ignored them all. I was the fool many, many times during our time together and all the while he was laughing at me behind my back with a blood relative.
Goes to show that blood does not always make you family.
Anger seeps in, overpowering the need to sit and wallow.
Gripping the box in my hand, I step over to the trash can. Stepping on the pedal, it pops open, and I slam the box inside, dead fish and all. Washing my hands, I sniff and almost gag.
You can still smell the god-awful scent, so I open the windows of my apartment, as well as the doors that lead to my balcony that overlooks the ocean.
I fell in love with the place as soon as I saw my view. The sound of the water and hearing people enjoying their days make my heart warm. Life should be easy, not hard.
We only get one life to live, so why not fill it with things that we love? I love making pretty things out of sugar and sponges, and cakes.
Jack makes me happy. Seeing Dominic smile makes my heart happy.
So why are you avoiding him?
The question vibrates around my head.
Shaking it off, I lean on the balcony rail, closing my eyes and soaking up the sun, as it fills the sky with its warmth.
“Lilith,” Kady calls as she steps into my apartment.
My smile widens when I hear her call out to me. Stepping back inside, I see that she brought Tree, Joss, and Willa.
“Hey, ladies. Where are the babies?”
“Calder said something about boys’ time. All I heard was Mommy needs a break and some wine with the girls.” She winks at me, setting her two bags on my coffee table.
“Royal and Jack are taking the kids to the beach; they said that Calder is bringing Kane. Travis has Mable since Willa is working, and Lennox has Adley. Astrid is with her sisters and mom, having a much-needed mother-daughter day.”
“Oh, so daddy-kids day at the beach. Fun times.” Joss giggles. “Juni is at a friend’s house, and by friend, I mean a girl she is crushing on since her last girlfriend moved out of state.”
“Oh, bless her. Is she okay with losing her?” Tree asks, before popping a chip into her mouth.
Joss shrugs. “She is. My girl decided that she needs to play the field and find the right kind of girl. She winked at me so I can only imagine that Calder and the guys got to her.”
Kady hands each of us a glass of wine, and there are snacks laid out across the coffee table.
“Oh, man, I am dreading what our kids will grow up to be like being around these horny bikers. They were all whores once upon a time.” Tree groans then sips her wine.
I giggle, sipping mine.
“They are still whores who love sex, but now they just like to fuck us all the time instead of random bitches.” Kady grins.
“Um, Lilith, I don’t know how to say this but there is a, umm, scent of rotting fish in the air.”
My eyes widen at what Joss just said. My body starts to tremble, my fingers lock together to help stop the shaking, and all the fear I had pushed down comes rushing back.
I didn’t want to tell anyone because I know that Jack and the club will step in and do something that could put them in trouble, possibly danger. I look anywhere but at the three women, and they know right away that something is up.
Joss sits next to me, taking my hands in hers.
“We are here to help, Lil, you can talk to us.” Her voice is soft, comforting, but I shake my head.
I can’t. Seeing and hearing what the Rugged Skulls do when they help people, I couldn’t possibly have them get into trouble because of me.
This is different than going after some scumbag stealing money, or a chick who stole her boyfriend’s car. This is the club going up against a cop with high-powered cop friends.
“Lilith Marie Cullen, you tell us what the fuck has happened right now,” Tree snaps, giving me her mom voice.
I jump, my eyes darting to hers.
Biting my lip, I keep my gaze down as Kady moves closer to me, sitting on the coffee table and touching my knee.
“Was it the fuckhead ex? Has he been bothering you?”
My wide gaze snaps to hers.
“Wh-why would you think it is him?” I stammer.
God, why am I so weak? Just a few minutes ago I was angry and felt strong enough to tell that man to fuck off, but here I am, freaking out, proving to my family that I am pathetic and foolish.
“You told us that he would say you had sex like a dead fish. Plus, he is such a psycho and narcissist, blaming you for his cheating, twisting shit around to make him the victim even though he is the one who caused the shit you went through.”
“This is what he sent you?” I look across to my kitchen to see Tree holding the fancy box that contains the dead fish.
I nod, letting her know my answer.
“That mothertrucker,” Kady snaps. “Jack and the club need to know about this. He can’t harass you like this.”
“I know, but…”
“No buts about it, honey,” Joss starts. “He may be a cop but that does not give him the right to do this, or anything else he might have done.” My eyes widen a fraction and so do Joss’s.
“Has he done more than send the fish?” Joss asks, and her hand tightens around mine, showing her anger.
Joss is a little older than the rest of us, but she fits in like one of us. Hell, she got in before me when she got together with Finan, who took on her teenage daughter, Juni, like she was his own.
Nodding again, I hear Kady cursing up a storm and Tree sniffle.
“Lil, we have to tell the guys. They will want to know what he is doing to you,” Tree pleads.
“We can’t and you know it,” I whisper. “He is a police officer, Tree. He will make things difficult for Jack and the club. Look at what he is doing to me simply because he can. If he put his mind to it, he could cause a lot of trouble for the club, and I cannot have that on my conscious. Please,” I beg, showing my desperation.
They all nod but I see a look in Kady’s eyes, and I know she will not keep this to herself. So, I need to brace for what comes next.
“I will drop it for now, cousin, but if he escalates then I will step in.” Tree gives me a look that leaves no room for argument.
“Okay.”
“I like this you and Jack together thing.” Kady singsongs her statement.
Blushing brightly, my cheeks heat at their stares as they wait for information.
“I do too. I just hope it lasts. As cheesy as it sounds, I have waited forever for him, or a man I thought could be like him. Silly I know, but you know I am a hopeless romantic.”
“Not silly in the slightest, honey.” Joss smiles wide, showing her happiness for me. “All girls want some romance in their lives.”
“Hell yeah, we do. Well, Calder’s idea of romance is making me come six times in one night and agreeing to get up with Kane, but hell that man is a sex god, so I will take it.” She winks at me.
“Royal can be romantic when he wants to be. He buys me flowers, helps with Archer and around the house. He even had food delivered to me just last week while on a hunt because Archer was a little unwell.”
I smile at her; we all went to help, as the little guy had an ear infection which thankfully passed quickly.
“Jack is sweet; I do not think you have to worry about any of that with him. You have seen him with Dom and the other kids at the club. He is perfect ‘Lilith’s Prince Charming material’.” Tree giggles.
Sipping my wine, I feel the tension slip from my shoulders. Being around these women makes me feel a part of something. The day after we got home from the wedding, I locked myself away from everyone, until Tree and Kady arrived and they got me to talk to them. They listened to all my troubles and offered me some advice, but I knew that I needed time to clear my head and think straight.
“Without you ladies, I would be stuck. Letting my family’s words seep deeper into my bones, staining them. The vibe I get from being around Jack, from a simple look from him makes me feel wanted and safe. It is also in the way he touches me; he makes me feel beautiful.”
“You are beautiful, Lilith. So fucking much,” Kady adds. “Any man would be lucky to have you at their side, it just so happens to be a member of the Rugged Skulls MC, who you have crushed on for many, many years and who comes with a kid.” She wiggles her eyebrows, making me giggle.
“I say we toast to hot bikers, dirty sex, and lots and lots of wine,” Joss cuts in, removing the tension from the room. We all burst into fits of giggles, and they help me forget what I have been going through, they also help me see that I was wrong to shut Jack out, and that I need to reach out to him.
It is time for me to get my ‘Lilith’s Prince Charming material .’