Chapter 19
Shivana
The only time I was at the clubhouse yesterday was to grab a bite to eat. Jackal wasn’t around, but neither were most of the guys. After drinking two nights in a row, I thought it was best to take a break. I had a big week ahead and needed to be on my A-game. After having some food, chatting with Jeannie for a few when she showed up, and reminding Lacy we needed to start gathering some bridal magazines to help her plan, I headed back to my temporary home.
I spent the prior evening at Mama Hen’s catching up with my parents, while blowing off important questions. Until I knew more firm details, I didn’t want to have a discussion about staying. Especially when Mom was dropping names of her friend’s sons over and over and all the upcoming parties and events we were invited to.
Once I spoke to them for a while and assured them I was having fun and being a good daughter, I got back online to do a little interview prep and look for a few more possible rentals based on the locations of the interviews. I also shopped around a little for cars, since I couldn’t rely on Lacy and Mama Hen to cart me everywhere.
Every time I heard the door, I wondered if Jackal had come by. Not that it mattered that he didn’t, but I wouldn’t have been opposed to a little fun. Well, actually…my lady bits were torn on that. Probably best to let them recover a little first. But seeing him would be– nope. Not doing this, Shiv.
The whole point was to find a super casual, easy breezy hookup. I would not allow myself to be one of those girls–women. Whatever.
After a broken sleep and being annoyed at the feel of the sheets on my skin, I finally climbed out of bed and went downstairs for some tea. Penny seemed to enjoy hot tea as well, and there was a nice variety in this kitchen. There was only green or black at the clubhouse.
My first interview was in a few hours, so I made some tea, wolfed down a granola bar, then went upstairs and knocked on Penny’s door.
“Come in,” she called.
Opening the door, I poked my head in. “Hey, I have a couple interviews online later. I was going to use the kitchen table. I know it’s your house, but can I ask you to not enter between 12-3?”
“It’s not my house. But I’ll steer clear of the kitchen for you. Good luck with the interviews.”
“Okay, thanks,” I said.
Closing the door, I went back to my room and tried to decide on a nice top and what I was going to do to my hair. It was curly, but more wavy than tight curls, and still required styling to be presentable for an interview. The wild wavy look was fine for hanging out with bikers and bunnies, though. I could pull it back, but even that took time due to the coarseness of my locks.
I had interviews tomorrow as well, so either direction I went would still be intact tomorrow. Still indecisive, I texted Lacy.
Me : I don’t know what to do with my hair, haallpp
Lacy : For the interviews? Away from your face, and minimal makeup
Me : I don’t hardly wear makeup so not a problem, thanks!
Lacy : Good luck, come find me when you’re done!
I had hidden out most of the day yesterday. Eventually, I’d have to face him again. Maybe it was best to see him and clear the air. Something definitely felt off yesterday morning. Oh well. I needed to focus on finding work and a place to live.
After settling on a rose-colored top so I could match my lipstick, I headed to the bathroom to style my hair and get ready for the interviews.
Grabbing my laptop, I headed downstairs then set up on the kitchen table. I spent a while reviewing notes about the company for the first interview, then checked their website one more time.
“You got this, Shiv,” I said to myself, drawing in a deep breath and blowing it out slowly. I had lots of options and could do online therapy if nothing else.
The reminder email for the first meeting came through, so I adjusted in my seat, put on my professional–only moderately fake–smile, then clicked the link.
Once the second interview was complete, my shoulders slumped, and I blew out a heavy breath. Because of the positions, both were quite lengthy, and it had been a while since I had to have my professional face on for so long. Both would require minimal interaction with other people, aside from two other researchers, give or take, depending on the role and projects.
The idea of not having to talk to strangers all day was refreshing, and being behind the scenes to create advancements was a dream. Even if it wasn’t mental health-related, working to improve lives and better understand the mind and body was fascinating. Although, I’d seen Outbreak plenty of times, and the thought of being part of a team for something like that did scare me a little.
Closing the lid to my laptop, I giggled. It would seem I was afraid of a virus but not scared of humans, even though I had reason to be scared. Honestly, the virus thing worried me, but not so much that I’d walk away from it. It was still part of science and medicine and was probably exhilarating.
After growing up sheltered from the world, the idea of a few risks wasn’t off-putting, but quite the opposite. Even though my path had taken me down some dangerous roads, it was my journey–not the one I was supposed to be on but the one I took.
Standing and stretching after being stuck in a chair so long, I grabbed the laptop and went to put it in my room and swap shirts before heading to the clubhouse to fill Lacy in on the interviews.
If I saw Jackal…great. If not, also fine. It wasn’t like I couldn’t stop thinking about all those tattooed muscles and long hair swaying as he plowed into me. Nope. I had this under control. For sure.