Chapter 31
Shivana
I was waiting to hear back on my counteroffer from the hospital. Part of me wished the CDC would send an offer, but the hospital was still nothing to turn my nose up at.
Lacy found me in the courtyard in the Adirondack chair I liked. It was hot as hell out, but the humidity wasn’t too bad. This chair faced away from the sun perfectly so that it wasn’t in my eyes and didn’t cause a terrible glare on my laptop.
Shutting the lid from my continued job hunt, I smiled up at her. “Hey, what you up to?”
Crimson rose up her chest and neck, coloring her normally pale face as her lip trembled. She covered her mouth and looked like she was about to burst.
Shoving my laptop in the bag haphazardly, I jumped up and grabbed her, pulling her close. “Oh my God, what’s wrong?”
She trembled in my arms as a cursing and yelling Daisy flew from the front door of the clubhouse. “Fuck off, Falcon. Don’t follow me.”
Glancing over, Falcon was standing in the doorway, his lips tight and arms crossed.
“What the hell is going on?” I asked, still holding Lacy tightly.
“These mother fuckers,” Daisy shouted as she turned and faced Falcon, “told her she has to postpone the wedding after they said it was fine to set the date!” She threw up both hands, giving the middle finger salute.
Eagle tried to pass Falcon and run outside, but Falcon grabbed him. Jackal patted his shoulder, and I glared over at him. He hit his chest with both hands with a questioning look, so I yelled, “You all suck! Go away!”
They went inside and the door slammed shut. Lacy shook then finally the dam broke, and tears fell down my shoulder. “I told them we could wait, but Eagle insisted it was fine and we were doing it. I even said we could get married now at the courthouse and do a party later b–b–but...”
“But Eagle said I got this babe ,” Daisy said mockingly with air quotes. “Now her heart is broken. If we hadn’t looked at venues and put a deposit down, it would be fine. But they got her hopes up for nothing !” She shouted toward the clubhouse. “Fuckers,” she said as she rubbed Lacy’s back.
“Yep. Fuckers. But we’ll fix it. It’s all going to work out. You’ll see.” I tried to soothe her.
Lacy sniffled and pulled back, nodding. “I know,” she said with her bottom lip still trembling. “But I thought it was all set, and I found a dress I really wanted to try on and everything. Then he told me we have to wait.”
“Why?” I asked, wiping the pools of moisture from her cheeks.
Her blue eyes popped from the redness. “Same ole story. It’s not safe. But I don’t understand why it was safe when we went and not now?”
“Not that I agree with them, but I bet that guy stalking us over there has something to do with it,” I told her.
She nodded, and Daisy and I tried to console her. Mama Hen came outside, barking orders at one of the members while shooing Eagle back inside. The other member put a cooler down by my chair, then Mama Hen waved him off. “Go away now.”
He gritted his teeth but went back inside. Eagle was at the door still and yelled out, “I’m sorry, baby. We’ll fix it! I promise!”
“You’re fucking right you will! Now go away!” Mama Hen called over her shoulder. She leaned down and handed each of us a beer. “Here, girls. I know it doesn’t make it better, but at least it’ll take the edge off.”
I took mine, then pointed to the cooler. “Why don’t you have one with us?”
She smirked, then fished a beer from the cooler. “Don’t mind if I do.”
We all sat down around the unlit fire pit in the chairs. It was still light out but getting close to dinnertime and Eagle and Falcon hadn’t been home long from work. Jackal went out somewhere earlier, and he hadn’t been back long either, but greeted me, then said he had club business, so I had decided to get some fresh air when all hell broke loose.
“So,” Mama Hen started, “looks like we gotta push the wedding a bit.”
Lacy nodded, swiping a stray tear off her face before she took a long sip of her beer.
We all sighed and followed suit. After I swallowed mine down, I said, “I’ll call them and see what we can do. We may lose the deposit.”
“Serves him right,” Daisy said, before throwing another middle finger toward the clubhouse.
Mama Hen leaned over and patted Lacy’s hand. “I know you’re upset and you have every right to be. Make him sweat a little. But we’ll figure this out, hon. Don’t you worry.”
“I just wish I hadn’t set the date. I was fine when it was all up in the air. But then we set the date and signed the contract. It all felt real, ya know?” Lacy said with another sniffle.
“I’ll talk to them before I call. Seriously, all this shit was happening anyway. So one idiot followed us. Who cares?” I asked, waiving the beer as I spoke.
“Well, good luck with that,” Mama Hen said. “Hawk apparently didn’t want to do it to begin with, so I doubt he’ll budge.”
Sighing, I took a swig of my beer. I wished I could find whoever they were looking for so we could get on with our lives. This was getting really old, really fast.
Standing, I told them, “I need to go talk to Jackal. I’ll call the venue and see what we can do if I’m unsuccessful. Maybe we can move it without losing the deposit.”
Heading inside, I looked around and found Jackal sitting with Eagle and Hawk. Hawk saw me coming, and while he certainly wasn’t scared of me, he at least had the decency to look sorry.
He tipped his glass tumbler in my direction then said, “Hey, Doc. How’s it going?”
I slammed my bottle on the table. “I think you know. Also, I don’t recall saying you could drink that,” I said, motioning to the brown liquor in his glass.
He pushed the glass away but held his composure. “Listen, now’s not a good time. I know y’all are disappointed, but it’s for the best.”
“I see. And what changed between you getting shot and now? That seemed pretty intense, but you agreed to let them have the wedding. So what happened?”
Hawk’s eyes shot to Jackal and he stood, his arm snaking around me. “Let’s go talk.”
Rolling my eyes, I grabbed my beer. “This is mine.” Yes, super tough, Shiv. You take your beer.
Jackal walked us out back. I’d only been on that side of the clubhouse a few times. There were more chairs, a horseshoe pit, fire barrels, and a decent walk away was a shed. It was quiet out there, but noise coming from the garage meant there were some guys around.
“Lil Bird, you can’t talk to Hawk like that.”
“I can do what I want. Last time I checked, he’d be dead if it weren’t for me.” Probably . They had a few guys that knew how to do a shitty job of stitches, but I doubted they could fish out bullets without making things worse.
“And he appreciates it. I appreciate you. But he’s the president.” Jackal ran his hand lightly over my arm.
Glancing down, I cut my eyes up slowly and pushed his hand away. “So, he’s not the president, he’s the dictator?”
Jackal chuckled and ran his hand over his face. “He’s not a dictator. He’s just responsible for a lot of people and we,” he said waving his hands like he was showing me their circle, “make decisions that will keep everyone safe. Especially our women.”
“But why now? Seriously, he let them go and sign a contract and put money down after you both got shot. But because one of them shows up there, suddenly that’s too much? I don’t get it. I just want to know why. All these secrets and just expecting us to take it sitting down is bullshit. No wonder he’s single.” I drank the rest from the bottle then handed it to Jackal.
He grinned but took the bottle and walked it to the trash for me. When he came back, he stood in front me, his size towering over me. “He made a mistake letting them go, not stopping them now. But he’s in uncharted territory. Speaking of, I don’t feel comfortable with you starting work yet.”
An annoyed growl rose in my throat. “Oh my God, we’ve been over this. I’m not a member here. You can’t hold me hostage. Eagle can agree as part of that couple to not keep the wedding date, but you,” I said, poking his chest, “can’t stop me from leaving.”
Nodding, he said, “I know. I said I wasn’t comfortable with it. I didn’t say I was stopping you.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter for now. I countered and they may not accept, and I won’t start if they don’t. But if they do, or maybe if the CDC makes an offer, I will. And I thought you understood how important that is to me,” I said, patting my chest.
He stepped closer, lifting his hand to my face. “I do. But I can still worry. I will worry. I’d worry even if all this shit wasn’t happening. I’d die if something happened to you, Lil Bird.”
My eyebrow shot up. “I’m sure you would. None of you can stay out of gunfire and refuse to go to a hospital.”
He gripped my chin. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. You can make all the smart ass comments you want and try to make light of it, but I think you know I love you and it scares you. Worse than any fucking traitor, worse than bullets, maybe even worse than blood.”
My heart raced as his steely gaze cut through me. “That’s—you can’t—”
“You know I do and you don’t like it because you had a plan and this wasn’t it. You want to control everything about your life, but you didn’t mean for this and you can’t stand it.”
I pulled my face from his grasp and my hand connected to his cheek. “Fuck you, Jackal.”
Turning quickly, I went toward the door, pulling it open, but he was faster and pushed it closed over my head. Jerking my arm, he turned me back around and pressed me to the door. “Oh no, Lil Bird. You can’t just run away from me. You mad? Fine. But you’re still mine. Even if I let you go, it doesn’t change anything. You’re mine…and I love you. If I have to piss you off everyday to keep you safe, I will.” He was flush against me, dipping his head so his mouth was by my ear. “Now do you want to stew over your attitude or do you want me to fuck it out of you?”
Grinding my teeth, I tried to control my erratic breathing. Was he right? Maybe. Would I admit it? Fat fucking chance. Instead of answering anything, I said, “Goddamn you. Why do you have to make everything so hot?”