Chapter Eight
Samantha
“Jack, I’m married.”
Jack stiffened as soon as I’d spoken the words.
I closed my eyes and waited for him to react. At this point, I wasn’t sure what to expect.
Jack rolled away from me and sat up on the side of the bed. His back hunched over, and his elbows resting on his knees.
“Jack,” I whispered.
“No, Sammy. Not now.”
I sat up, pulling the sheet up with me. My hand reached out and landed on Jack’s back. Jerking at my touch, he pulled away from me and stood.
“Jack, please let me explain,” I begged.
Jack stared at me in silence. His face was blank. I didn’t know if he was angry, sad, disappointed. It could be any of those and a hundred other emotions. He wouldn’t let me see any of them.
I scooted to the end of the bed when he walked over to grab his clothes. He pulled his jeans on while I sat there watching him. Waiting for him to say or do something—anything. He left the rest of his clothes on the floor and moved to the door.
“Jack,” I cried. “We need to talk about this.”
He stopped at the door with his hand on the knob. I stood from the bed and walked to him. Holding the sheet tight against me, I touched his arm.
“Jack.”
He shrugged my hand off, opened the door, and walked out.
Now I was mad. He wanted answers until I tried to give him those answers. Then, like every other time, he walked away.
Well, not this time .
I dropped the sheet and grabbed one of his T-shirts. It was long enough to hide my body from whoever else was in the main room.
I yanked the door open and stormed from the room. No more hiding. No more running. That included Jack.
I hurried down the stairs. Running into the main room, I noticed there were bikers and club girls everywhere, as well as the two old ladies.
“You’re a fucking coward, Jack!” I screamed.
No one moved.
No one said a word.
Jack turned around to glare at me.
“You said we needed to talk. You said we needed privacy. Well, fuck privacy!” I yelled.
“Samantha, now might not be—” King started.
“No, King. Now is the perfect time.” Turning back to Jack, I continued, “You said you wanted to know why I didn’t tell you, why I lied to you. But every time I try to tell you, you walk away from me, or you fuck me.”
I knew my daughter was in the room. I didn’t care anymore. He needed to hear everything.
“We can do this right now, in front of everyone. I know you’ll tell them, anyway. This way, there is no confusion about the facts.”
“Sammy,” Jack warned.
“I got married at eighteen. He was ten years older than me, and he made me feel important. I didn’t have a tragic childhood. My parents were a normal middle-class couple. They were ordinary. I was ordinary.”
I took a deep breath.
“Derek made me feel extraordinary. He was attentive. He showered me with affection. Things were great for the first two years of our marriage. We talked about the future, about having a family. Only, I couldn’t get pregnant. We tried for over a year and nothing.”
I stood there, baring my soul to this man, and he showed me nothing.
“He changed when I asked about getting tested. I wanted to know why we weren’t successful. He simply said we would keep trying.”
“Samantha,” Beck interjected softly. “How about if I take Charlie over to my house for a bit? Maybe we could have a sleepover? Would that be ok?”
I barely heard what she said, but I nodded. My eyes never left Jack.
King spoke next, “Everyone else out.”
“No. I want everyone else to stay. I want to know Jack can’t walk away again before I tell him everything.”
Jack stood there in the middle of the room and stared back at me.
He still gave me nothing in the way of emotion.
Beck gathered up my daughter and left. When I heard the door close, I continued.
“The more I pushed, the angrier he got. What I hadn’t realized was that aside from him, I had no one. My parents never liked him. They wouldn’t allow him in their home. I never understood that because he had been nothing but friendly and polite to them.
“My friends had all left as well. He had systematically come between me and everyone I knew. I hadn’t even realized until he changed.
“I just thought that because we were so in love, we spent all our time together. We didn’t need anyone else. Until he started yelling at me, calling me names, I didn’t realize I had no one left to talk to.
“I was working, and that was where I met Carrie. She was a friend when no one else was. Derek didn’t know about Carrie. We mostly saw each other at work, but sometimes, when he went out of town for work, Carrie and I would go out.
“That was where I saw you the first time. At the bar where we met. I watched you for months. You looked so much like Derek that I thought, maybe if I got pregnant, he would be happy again. I had convinced myself the reason he screamed at me was because he was angry. And the reason he was angry was because we hadn’t gotten pregnant yet.”
I pulled my eyes from Jack and looked around the room. I knew they were judging me. Blade was angry. He stood by Jack with his hand on Jack’s shoulder, letting him know he had his back.
Next were Cash and Rachel. Imagine my surprise when Rachel was the angry one, but there was understanding on Cash’s face.
I might make it out of here alive after all.
I avoided looking at King. I knew what I would find there. Ace and Big Ben sat in the corner. Both trying to look like they weren’t paying attention. I knew that wasn’t true.
The club girls nodded. They were letting me know they would be there for me, no matter how it ended.
As I looked around, I saw a mix of sympathy and hatred among the rest of the brothers in the room. Ignoring them, I focused on Jack again.
“I chose you, Jack, not just because you looked so similar, but because I watched you with others. What I saw was a man who was a friend to everyone. Someone who laughed freely. Someone who looked like he had fun no matter what he was doing. Anytime I left the house, I hoped to see you somewhere. And I did. I caught sight of you at the store, on your bike, with your friends. You pulled at my heart, Jack. I wanted my child to be like you. Not like Derek.”
“Why didn’t you leave?” I turned toward a voice I didn’t expect to sound so angry. Tank had stood up for me. He had gotten between Jack and me. Seeing the disappointment on his face, my eyes watered. I looked at the ceiling and tried to stop the tears from falling.
“I couldn’t. I had nothing, and I thought things would get better. I thought, since everything had broken down when we started trying, that if I could give him a child, things would go back to what they were. ”
I turned back to Jack. His face wasn’t blank anymore. It was full of hurt. I closed my eyes, and the tears I tried so hard to keep at bay, began to fall freely from my eyes. This was why I didn’t want him to know.
I had used him.
“I’m so sorry, Jack.”
Jack dropped his gaze to the floor. He couldn’t look at me anymore. I knew he would never forgive me, but he needed to know.
“Samantha.”
I circled around to King.
“I need to tell him everything, King. He has to know. When I’m done, I’ll go.”
King nodded for me to continue.
“I finally left when Derek tried to kill Charlie.”
Jack’s head snapped up.
Fury burned in his eyes, and he walked toward me.
“What the fuck did you just say?” He snarled, low and deadly.
I swallowed slowly. This was the hard part.
“When I told Derek I was pregnant, he got angry. Angrier than I had ever seen him. I didn’t understand why. We had talked about children. About building a family.”
“Jack, stand down, brother.” King stood behind me, his hand on my back. King might have been angry with me, but he wouldn’t let anyone hurt me.
Just as Jack looked at King, Tank came to stand on my other side. His breathing was heavy, but I wasn’t afraid. Not of Jack.
I would never be afraid of Jack.
“Go on, Sam,” Blade encouraged.
I steeled myself and looked Jack directly in the eye.
“Derek never wanted children. He also never told me that when he turned eighteen, he’d had a vasectomy. It didn’t matter how much we tried, he never would have gotten me pregnant. He knew I had cheated on him.”
Tears poured down my cheeks as I relived the day I almost lost my little girl .
“He beat me that day. He had never hit me before, only screamed at me, or thrown things across the room. He focused on my stomach. He broke three of my ribs. I had a fractured cheekbone and a broken wrist.”
I reached up and placed my hand on Jack’s cheek. I needed him to know I trusted him. He leaned into my hand.
“I thought for sure I would lose her. When Derek left, I called Carrie. She came immediately and took me to the hospital. I was there for a week. When I left the hospital, Charlie was exactly where she should be. Your daughter’s a fighter, Jack.”
“Like her mother,” he murmured as he gripped my neck, bringing my forehead to rest against his.
My hands went to his hips, and I quietly told him the rest.
“Derek never came looking for me. Carrie took me home with her. I lived with her until Charlie was born. That was when the notes started.”
Jack lifted his head. “What notes?”
“Derek wanted me back. He had found out Charlie survived and knew I was living with Carrie. He left me notes, telling me to come home. Saying we could put Charlie up for adoption and forget everything. I ignored him. Then they got worse.”
“The notes threatened me and Charlie. So we left Arkansas. We moved to another state. We were there for a few months and the notes started up again. We moved again. After a few months, I started to receive more notes. Every time we moved, he found us. Until we came to Nebraska. Then I saw you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me then?” Jack asked.
“I was scared, Jack. I was afraid of Derek finding me again. I was afraid of how you would react. Despite feeling a connection to you, I was afraid you would react the way Derek did. It was Carrie that convinced me to stay here. I wanted to run again. She said that with you here, if Derek showed up again, we could ask you and the club for help.”
Jack wrapped me up in his arms. It was the first time I had felt safe in years. I had been running and hiding for four years. I was tired. I just wanted to live a normal life with my daughter .
“I guess I owe Carrie an apology,” Jack said sheepishly.
“She’s been an amazing friend to me and a wonderful aunt for Charlie. She gets a little possessive, but she loves us both, Jack.”
“Jack.”
I looked over at King. He and Jack spoke to each other without saying a word. Jack nodded and then looked down at me.
“Go back up to my room and get dressed. I need to talk with King.”
“I need to get Charlie,” I pointed out.
“You agreed to a sleepover with Beck tonight.”
I tried to object but Jack continued, “Blade lives there, he will protect Charlie. Change of plans; don’t get dressed. Go up to my room and lie down. We have a few more things to talk about, plans to make. We can do that tonight.”
He kissed my forehead and turned me toward the stairs.
“I’ll be up in a little while. I don’t want you to worry, baby. You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”
“I’m so sorry, Jack.”
“Shh, go upstairs and rest. Take a shower and get into bed. I want you to sleep.”
Slowly, I climbed the stairs and did as Jack asked. I took a hot shower and dug a clean T-shirt out of his dresser. Crawling onto the bed, I snuggled beneath the covers and waited for Jack.
I didn’t know how long I’d been asleep when I felt the bed dip. Jack curled up behind me, pulling me tight against his chest.
“Sleep, Sammy. Tomorrow will be here before we know it.”