Chapter Twenty-Two
Jack
“Tell me,” I growled.
“Jack, please can we wait for the sheriff? I’m tired.”
The door opened, and King and the sheriff walked in, followed by Jingles.
“That was fast,” Sammy remarked.
“They were in the hall. Johnny called King after we left,” Jingles explained.
“Why? We didn’t know what happened,” I asked.
“Johnny called me and said some guy was hitting on Samantha. And when she started acting odd, he thought it might be connected.”
“Hey, Sam.”
“Hey, Sheriff.”
“Bad day?”
“You have no idea.” Sammy laughed.
“This isn’t funny, Sammy.”
How she could laugh was beyond me. I was fuming. I could barely control the flames coursing through my body, heating me up.
“I’m fine, Jack. Jingles was with me and got me here.”
“And what if he wasn’t? What if Jingles hadn’t been there?”
“Johnny was there.”
I spun around on my president.
“Johnny is a fucking prospect!” I bellowed.
The door opened immediately, and a nurse walked in. “Gentlemen, I will need you to keep it down or I will have you removed.” The nurse looked around at the room at us. “Oh, hi, Sheriff. ”
“Hi, Sally.”
“This isn’t the fucking love connection,” I snarked.
Sally, the nurse, walked up and stood toe to toe with me.
I looked down at her five-foot two-inch frame and scoffed.
“I spend my days lifting men like you off beds and I carry needles in my pocket. You either quiet down or I will jam a needle so far up your ass, it will take you a week to find it. Got it?”
The nurse glared at me, waiting for my answer.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Nurse Sally turned to walk out of the room, muttering.
The only part we understood was ‘jackass’.
“Hey, Jack, I didn’t know you knew Nurse Sally,” the sheriff said with a huge grin.
I showed him exactly which finger he could shove up his own ass.
“Jack,” Sammy said. “Maybe you should wait outside.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Jack, you have no control over your anger. Like, at all. I can’t do this if you are going to blow up after every few words.”
“Jack will not say another word, will you, Jack?” King glared at me. I recognized that for what it was—a command from my president.
I sat my ass in the chair and kept my mouth shut.
“Go ahead, honey.” I glared at Jingles. He just grinned at me. Fucker thought he could get away with calling my woman honey because I couldn’t open my mouth.
He’d learn.
“Jingles and I were sitting at the bar. He stepped outside to answer a call and a guy sat down next to me. His name was Greg. He was average. Average build, average looks. Looked like he had money.”
Sammy looked at me with something akin to guilt.
“I told him I was married.”
Ah, that was it.
“He gave me a line about my husband letting me out alone. I saw Johnny watching us. He may be just a prospect, but that kid is dangerous, if his glare is any indication.”
I smiled, listening to her talk about Johnny. She didn’t know just how dangerous that kid could be.
“I told Johnny I was fine, and Greg got the picture. He was the only one that approached me. He couldn’t have dropped anything in my drink, not with Johnny watching us like he was.”
“There are cameras in the bar. I’ll talk to the owner and get a copy of them,” King told his brother.
“Did he say anything else, Samantha?” the sheriff asked.
Sammy bit her lip. She was holding something back.
“Baby, what did he say?”
“He called me a bitch after I called him out on his cheesy line.”
I watched her face. Her hands twisted on the sheet on the bed.
“What else, Sammy?”
“Jack, it was just—”
“What. Else. Sammy.”
She signed heavily. “He said ‘I’ll get you later. You’ll be changing your tune then.’ Jack, he was just mad I turned him down. Guys say stupid shit to women all the time.”
“He threatened you.”
“Comes with the territory,” she said, shrugging.
“Comes with the… Sammy, are you kidding me right now?” I pinched the bridge of my nose, hoping to stem the throbbing that had started in my head.
“Jack, you have no idea what it is like being a woman.”
I looked at the woman I was desperately in love with. How could she not understand that a threat was serious?
“Sammy, you shouldn’t have been at the bar to begin with. Not without me,” I told her.
“Ok, I think I have everything I need,” the sheriff said. “Good luck, Jack.” He chuckled before leaving the room.
“I need to get that footage from the bar. Let me know when the doctor releases her, and we’ll have church.”
“King,” Sammy called.
“What do you need, Samantha?”
“Please take Jack with you. ”
King laughed out loud. “Sorry, darlin’, can’t do that.”
He slapped me on the back and walked out of the room, still laughing.
“Sammy.”
“I am not talking anymore, Jack. I’m tired, and it has been a shit day. So, if you are staying, keep your mouth closed.”
My woman stubbornly crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me.
Jingles chuckled behind me, and I turned to glare at him.
“You can go now,” I growled.
Jingles ignored me and asked my woman, “You good here? I can stay.”
“What the fuck?” I hissed.
“Thank you, Jingles. For everything. You can go. Since Jack refuses to leave, he can bring me home.”
“You got it.” The son of a bitch had the nerve to lean over and kiss my woman on the cheek. “I’ll see you both back at the clubhouse.”
As soon as the door closed, I snapped again.
“What the fuck was that, Sammy?” I said, pointing at the door Jingles just walked through.
“What was what, Jack?” She sighed.
I knew she was tired, but I couldn’t let this go.
“What the fuck was that with Jingles?”
“Jack, I don’t know what you are talking about?”
“He fucking kissed you!” I bellowed.
“Jack, hush!” she whisper-yelled. “He kissed my cheek. He was being nice after the shit day I had, like a brother would do. It was a nice change from being yelled at and cussed out by the man who says he loves me.” She reached for the cord attached to her bed, pressing the button.
A moment later, Nurse Ratched walked in.
“What can I do for you, Mrs. Reynolds?”
“Please, Sally, call me Sam. Could you please escort Mr. Williams to the waiting room? I would like to get some rest until the doctor releases me. ”
“Sammy, I’m not leaving.”
“Oh yes, you are. If I have to, I will call the sheriff back here. Sam has asked for some privacy, and you are not the next of kin, so I need you to leave.”
I glared at the little chihuahua standing in front of me, then looked over at Sammy. A tear escaped from the corner of her eye and I knew she was right.
How did I keep fucking this up? It seemed no matter what I did, I caused her pain. Silently, I left the room and walked to the chairs lined against the wall.
I sat down, my arms resting on my knees, and took out my phone. It rang a few times before it connected.
“Hey, Jack.”
“Hey, can you come back?” I asked him.
“Sammy ok? Did something happen?”
“No, she’s fine. I just need you to come back to the hospital,” I croaked.
“I’m on my way, brother.”
The line disconnected, and I sat back, leaning my head against the wall. A few minutes later, Jingles walked down the hall and sat next to me. He didn’t say a word, just sat there with me.
“I need you to wait for Sammy to be released and take her back to the clubhouse.”
“Ok,” he said hesitantly. “What are you gonna do, Jack?”
“I just need to take a ride. I need to clear my head.”
Standing from my chair, I walked out of the hospital.
Out on the road on my Harley Softail, I didn’t have a destination in mind. I just needed to ride. My whole life consisted of joking, fucking, or fighting. None of those required these fucking emotions I couldn’t seem to contain.
Ever since I met Charlie, it was like everything in the world had become a danger.
The stress of having a four-year-old daughter was insane.
Was I doing the right things?
Was I saying the right words?
Would she grow up with daddy issues and become a stripper if I fucked up?
Would she love me even if I told her she couldn’t do something?
I didn’t have parents.
I never learned how to raise a child. Most of us didn’t have parents that were much of anything. We were a bunch of children playing at being grown-ups, trying to do our best and stay alive.
No one ever taught me how to love a child.
No one ever taught me how to love that child’s mother. God, I loved that woman. I could feel everything she felt.
Her joy made me want to do whatever I could to keep her smiling. Her anger made me want to fight whatever made her mad, even when it was me. Her pain, though. Her pain killed me.
Seeing that tear slip down her face, knowing I was the cause. I didn’t know how to fix that.
After a few hours of riding, I still felt like I couldn’t go home. I knew King would be pissed. He had been blowing up my phone. But I just needed some time. So I sat in The Diner.
“Hey, Jack.”
Looking up at the voice, I saw James Samson, Lily’s dad. James and his wife Evelyn moved here from Arkansas when the club did. They had been best friends with Ace’s parents and when they passed away had become a second mom and dad to Ace. Hence the move following us here.
“Hey, James.”
“You look like you could use some company.”
“Have a seat,” I told him. “Can’t promise I’ll be good company, though.”
He sat on the stool next to me. Julie walked over and poured him a cup of coffee .
We sat there silently for a few minutes before he finally spoke.
“What’s got you down, Jack? I’m not used to seeing you with anything other than a smile and a sarcastic comment.”
That had me lifting the corner of my mouth.
Yea, that was me. The jokester, the funny guy.
“Can I ask you something, James?” I asked, looking the man in the eye. He was a dad. Maybe he had some insight.
“You can ask me anything, Jack,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee.
“How do you do it?”
He titled his head in confusion. “How do I do what?”
“How do you love someone and not go crazy? How do you not drive yourself mad thinking about all the ways they could be hurt?”
“Ah, this is about Charlie,” he said. “It’s not easy, Jack. And it doesn’t go away. Lily is almost twenty years old, and Evie and I still worry every single day. Eventually, you just accept that you can’t control everything, or anything really, and you learn to live with it.”
There was something in his voice. Something that sounded like he was more familiar with the fear, and the pain that came with it, then he was letting on.
“I remember when Evie was pregnant. I wanted to wrap her up in bubble wrap and hide her away until Lily was born. Then I wanted to wrap up Lily. All those emotions that come with being a dad, they suck, Jack.” He laughed.
“What about being a husband?”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“I never had parents. I grew up in the system. Aged out when I hit eighteen. The few foster homes I was in, well, they weren’t Hallmark families.”
“I’m gonna be honest with you, Jack. Being a husband? A thousand times harder than being a dad.”
My eyes snapped up at that statement.
How was that possible ?
“When you become a dad, you get this little baby handed to you. A whole person who knows nothing. Someone you get to teach everything to. There are the obvious things, like walking and talking, and how to tie their shoes. Maybe teach them to ride a bike, how to climb a tree. But there are other things too. How to be a good person. You teach them how to put others first, how to be kind. You teach them how to love.”
“Fuck, no one taught me how to love. How the hell am I supposed to teach Charlie?” I muttered.
“Actions, Jack. Your little girl will learn everything she needs to know about love by how you love her. You don’t need to worry about that. She will learn what makes a good man by watching you and your brothers. She will learn what makes a good husband by watching you with her mother.”
My shoulders slumped and my head fell. I exhaled loudly. “She’s screwed then, because I am fucking up every minute of the day with Sammy.”
James laughed heartily at that.
“Let me tell you why being a husband is harder than being a dad. As a dad, you start with a blank slate.”
I opened my mouth to remind him I wasn’t there from the beginning with Charlie. He held his hand up in front of me.
“I realize you missed the first four years with Charlie, but she is still little. She’s not set in her ways like her mother. With Samantha, you get what you get. You get her history. Her whole life before meeting you has influenced every choice she’s made.
“How her father treated her, how male teachers treated her in school, how her husband treated her. You are working against all that, Jack. Compromise is great, and communication is key. But love, Jack, that is the most important thing. Remind her you love her every chance you can. Say the words, show her the actions. When you fuck up? Apologize. Beg her forgiveness, and most importantly, learn from those fuck ups. Don’t continue to make the same mistakes, because she will only forgive you so many times for the same thing.”
James finished his coffee and stood .
“Well, I need to get home to my wife.”
“I need to get back to the clubhouse.” I stood from my stool too and tossed a few bills on the counter, following James outside.
“Jack?”
“Yes sir?”
“I hope this helped. You can call me anytime you need to talk. You know Ace is like a son to us, but all of you are important to Evie and I.”
“Thanks, James.” I shook his hand and climbed on my bike.
I had a woman at home I needed to apologize to.