Chapter 14 #2
“A lot of stuff, Sir. The links you sent kept leading to more links. I lost track of time and almost forgot to eat. I found a couple of articles and blogs I really liked. They talked about the different kinds of relationships people had. There was one from the submissive’s point of view that explained what they got out of the relationship and a couple by Dominants, too.
You need to know up front that I don’t think I have it in me to be a service sub.
I don’t burn with the need to make sure you have everything you need or to clean these plates as soon as we empty them. Can you live with that?”
“Yes. I would have been surprised if you felt a need to serve me at this point. That might change or it might not. It’s not a key part of a 24/7 relationship for me. How do you feel about giving up control in areas of your life outside work?”
“I don’t know. I’m a little scared by the whole thing.”
“That’s normal. I’m sure we can work out a contract that meets both our needs. Did you find any you like?”
“I did, and I printed out a couple. They’re in my bag.
” She jumped up and went to the entry for her bag before Jackson could instruct her about asking permission before leaving the room.
“I like this one best. The sub and Master don’t live together, which is why I thought it would be a good place to start. Here’s a limit list, too.”
Jackson took both from her and looked at the list first. It had quite a few hard limits and not nearly as many soft ones as he had hoped and expected.
It seemed his new sub had quite definite ideas about what she was willing to try.
“Paula, can you tell me how you understand the idea of hard limits?”
“Um, I thought hard limits were things I didn’t want to do. Those things are stuff I don’t think I’ll like. I certainly don’t want anything with blood or other bodily fluids, like watersports. That stuff is just sick to me.”
“I agree with you about blood and such. None of those is a turn-on for me either. But more broadly, hard limits are for things that you think or know would be mentally or physically distressing. Not just things you don’t like the idea of.
Things you don’t like the idea of, but we discuss before doing are soft limits.
Then there’s the category of things you haven’t tried but sound interesting and you’re willing to do. I call that the ‘maybe’ category.”
“So I can’t make something a hard limit just because I don’t think I’ll like it?”
“That’s correct. You can’t decide you won’t try something without a good reason. Don’t exclude something just because you don’t understand it.”
“I guess that means I have to change some things?”
“Yes.” He smiled, pleased and relieved that she was willing to open herself to more possibilities.
“So, things I don’t like the sound of are soft limits?”
“Yes. Hard limits are absolute nos. I accept that you want to put the bullwhip on the list of hard limits, but the other impact toys should really be on the ‘maybe’ list until you’ve tried them.”
“I want canes on the hard limit list, but the others can be maybes.”
“That might be wise. Canes can be nasty. It depends on how heavy-handed the Top is. Let’s look at the rest of your list. You gave the flogger a definitely want to try. Why?”
“I liked the way the flogger James used on Laura looked, but the other things sound kind of scary. I don’t think I get off on pain.”
“Let’s unpack that a minute. While spanking and other forms of impact play can cause pain, they also can be used for pleasure.
You liked the flogging you saw, but not all floggers are soft like James’.
Some can sting and give significant pain.
Most have the potential for both. What about bare-handed spanking? ”
“Well, maybe. How hard would you spank?”
“That depends on the reason for the spanking. I gave you a swat in the club. Do you remember?”
“How could I forget? I can still feel your hard hand there if I think about it. That wasn’t fun.”
“It wasn’t intended to be. Punishment isn’t, but spanking can be very erotic. Can we move it into the maybe column, and I’ll demonstrate later?”
She chewed her bottom lip. “Okay, as long as I can make it a hard limit if I don’t like it.”
Jackson agreed and perused the rest of the list. “I see you’re interested in bondage.”
“Yes, Sir. Thinking about it makes me wet. The way you made me hold the headboard that night after the wedding really turned me on. I think being tied there would have been even hotter.”
“And shibari?” he asked.
“I looked it up and the pictures really turned me on. The models were beautiful in the ropes, and they looked so serene.”
“I don’t know much about it, but Mitch teaches classes, so we can sign up next time.”
After more discussion, Paula agreed that electrical play might be interesting, and she’d always been curious about anal sex but hadn’t had the nerve to try it.
She thought a lot of the stuff that was classified as sensation play sounded interesting.
Jackson was pleased she was opening herself up to new possibilities, but there was one more limit he wanted her to change.
“You’ve marked orgasm control as a hard limit. Why?”
“Without orgasms, what’s the point of sex?”
He chuckled. “Have you ever tried holding off your orgasm for a bit? Most women I know find it increases their pleasure when they have to hold onto it for a while. When they finally come, the orgasm is more intense and explosive.”
“That sounds interesting. The night of the wedding was pretty exciting.”
“I agree. Orgasm control moves to the maybe column. I think that’s a good place to stop with the limit list for now.” Jackson paused to see if Paula would say anything more about it. “Would you show me the contract you liked?”
Paula gave it to him and Jackson gave her another. “This is a baseline contract I’ve used to start negotiations.”
Paula read the first couple of pages that talked in generalities about the relationship between Master and slave.
Then it got to specifics about the Master being responsible for the slave’s health.
She read about the Master deciding the slave’s diet and planning their exercise.
She looked at Jackson. “You get to decide what I eat and tell me to exercise? What kind of deal is this? I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. ”
“I know you can take care of yourself, but maybe things could be better? Tell me, what did you have for breakfast?”
Paula turned red. “Leftover pizza and coffee.”
“Do you consider that a well-balanced, healthy meal?”
Paula crossed her arms, trying not to feel like a scolded teenager under his scrutiny.
“It has all the major food groups—dairy, bread, vegetables, and meat.” She realized how ridiculous it sounded but couldn’t stop herself.
“Really? Since when does tomato sauce count as a vegetable?”
“It had mushrooms, onions, green peppers and olives, too.”
“Pepperoni or sausage?”
“Um, both.” Paula was beginning to see how deep the hole she was digging for herself was.
“Hmm. What did you have for lunch?”
Paula looked down and whispered, “The last piece of pizza.”
“How do you feel about that choice now?”
“Not great, but I don’t generally have to tell people what I eat, either.”
Jackson reached over and pulled her right hand into his own. “Why did you eat two meals of leftover pizza today?” he asked softly.
“There wasn’t anything else quick and edible in the house.”
“You’re not in trouble for anything you do before we sign the contract. I just want to help.” He squeezed her hand. “How often do you run?”
“I aim for four days a week. I usually manage two or three. You know how the job is.”
“Yes, I do. I think you’d do better with a healthier diet and more consistent exercise. How do you feel on days when you run in the morning?”
He had her there. “Good. Somehow, running gives me more energy to face the day.”
“That’s why a Master is responsible for his sub’s health.
I’ll help make sure you eat three balanced meals a day and get your exercise regularly.
We’ll see that you make your goal of four days a week running and find something different for the other three days.
Before you ask, yes, you get a say in what the other activity will be, but I have the final say.
As to your eating habits, I’ll help you go through your refrigerator and kitchen and go shopping with you to put together some quick and easy meals for breakfasts and other meals when we’re not together. ”
Paula felt the blood drain from her face.
The last thing she wanted was for Jackson to see her house, let alone her kitchen.
“You don’t have to do that,” she said quickly.
“There’s not much in the fridge. I haven’t had time to get to the store lately.
” This was a lame excuse, but she had to keep him away from the house.
“Is there some problem with your house, Paula?”
Damn, he’d seen right through her. “I just haven’t had a chance to clean lately and things are kind of a mess. Your house could be a layout for House Beautiful . I’m embarrassed for you to see mine before I have a chance to clean.” Which wouldn’t be for weeks, but she wasn’t ready to tell him that.
“I’ll help. You don’t think this place looks neat all by itself, do you?
We’ll make a schedule to give you time to get your house clean, eat properly, exercise and so forth.
The point is that you can stop worrying about having so much to do because the schedule will help you.
It’s one of the ways this relationship will make a positive difference in your life. ”
Paula didn’t see how a schedule would help. “What about when I’m in the middle of a case and working overtime?”
“We’ll build in some flex time for necessary adjustments. Relax, Paula. Let me take care of you. That’s what this part is all about. Finish reading the contract, and then we’ll talk more.”