Thirty-Five
They keep me tied up for the next two weeks.[MG1] Every time I’m free, I try to tear the monster from my stomach. Try to protect the last part of Rafiki’s memory even though I can feel it fracturing into pieces inside of me. They carry me to the toilet, my hands tied together, my fingers interlaced.
If it’s Bear or Sunny, I get wiped. If it’s Sadist, I don’t.
They feed me like I’m a foie gras duck. A funnel is forced down past my tongue so I can’t spit anything out, then soup is poured into it until I can’t do anything but swallow. I try to let it kill me, first by refusing to breathe, then by trying to inhale it into my lungs, but it’s damn near impossible for me to overcome my survival instinct. Yet another way my body betrays me.
I don’t stop screaming. My throat is sore, the chords made raw. But I can’t contain the agony inside of me. The broken shards of my heart stick out of my skin, cutting their way free.
It gets Sadist hard. He fucks me more than when I was on V. They have taken me off it because it can negatively affect the hybrid pregnancy. But I don’t care what he does to me anymore. Nothing can surpass the pain of a mother losing her child. To have a rape thing take its place.
I never even got to hold her.
Because Antonio ripped her from me.
Because Eduardo stepped on my hand when I tried to reach for her.
My chest heaving as snot and tears run down my face, I don’t fight Sadist as he rapes me.
And I don’t fight Eduardo when he kneels between my legs during a “health check”
and starts to sew up my pussy so his tiny fucking cock can feel snug. I don’t have anything left in me anymore, nothing but crippling agony in my soul and a desperate need to escape it.
So I welcome the damage they inflict on my body.
I welcome that nicer pain.
My pussy burns with every thrust of the witch’s hips. The stitches tear from his roughness, sharp tugs I chase just to escape the utter despair eating its way up my womb and consuming every part of me.
I can’t survive to term.
I won’t survive to term.
I search for the bond I have with Varius, desperate to use up any drop that’s left. To take more than what it has to give so it’ll take my life quicker. But all the blood is gone. There’s no link for me to pull on. To manipulate into being my executioner. All I can do is beg Varius to kill me from afar. To wish for that so deeply that he’ll find a way to get some more alexandrite just so Khalid can make a soul doll of me. Just so he can stop the pain inside of him, pushed on by me.
I pray that he can feel it.
That he’ll kill me.
But the days pass, and I’m still here.
Brutally bred and being forced to carry a monster to term.
Varius, please, I beg as I heave dry tears, my body too broken to produce any more. I scream against my ball gag. It stops me from using dark magic. If only it would stop the pain.
Kill me.
Release me from this hel.
Varius, please.
If you’ve ever loved me…
I’ll forgive you for everything.
Just please…
Do this for me.
Kill me, Varius.
KILL ME!