Fifty--Five
Her
It’s been hours since I have been raped. Despite logically knowing that that is a good thing, I’m starting to freak out. What new, twisted thing is Sadist going to come up with after being denied his toy for so long? I can’t handle the anticipation, the horrible thoughts of my imagination. Will he get me to dig up Bear’s corpse and fuck it? Will he figure out a way to get me to Rudy and then force us to –
“No!”
I clutch my head, starting to shake. I slam my palm against my temple, wanting to stop the thoughts. Stop the pain.
But only V can give me relief.
“Please,”
I beg to an empty room, and I have never felt more alone. Despite wishing for privacy, now that I have it, I hate it. Where is someone to beg for some V?
Where is someone to help me?
“I need it,”
I cry as I crawl across the bed. I go over the edge and hit the floor. I spread my hands out, feeling for the damp patches of blood, hoping to find where they all stood and thus any vials of V they might’ve dropped.
I search for what feels like hours, the minutes of my life ticking away. My hands hit a pool of stickiness, and I nearly weep. But there’s no vials nearby. I almost scream. My body trembling, I check the entire place, each wall, each corner, the space beneath the bed and bedside table and other bits of furniture.
Then my hand knocks into a small glass bottle. It rolls across the floor, taking my breath along with it. Swallowing hard, I hurry after it, trying to figure out where it’s gone.
My fingers graze it. I pick it up tenderly, my heart racing.
Stop.
You could lose her if you take this.
Antonio wants me to carry the pup in my belly to term. Then he’ll bring my daughter back. All I have to do is not take the V.
My hands shake from the impossible choice.
I’m not strong enough.
You are.
Do it for her.
She left me.
Why should I think about her at all?
I flinch, feeling sick with myself. What sort of thoughts are they? What sort of mother – what sort of monster am I?
You can still be good.
I shake my head. I’m too filled with poison.
There’s no point trying to be better when all that’ll be is a lie. This is who I am. A terrible person. A terrible mother.
I uncork the bottle of V, and I raise it to my lips.
July 1 1907, St. Augustine, Florida – Antonio
Shit!
Dropping the bag of fish I’ve just come back with from the market, I pivot and sprint away from my house, leaving the front door open. I’m well within Death Hunt territory, and no one would be dumb enough to rob me, but I don’t even care if they do. Siome’s presence isn’t in the house. I can’t smell the musk of her fur or the sandalwood and citrus of the soap I bathe her with. I left her asleep in my bed. She was never a morning person. I thought I would have time to sneak out to get her something to eat; I’d damn well run out of food and hadn’t eaten anything myself for days.
I barge into Oscar’s house. He’s fucking some whore he picked up off the street –I don’t know what his obsession with prostitutes is when, as alpha, he has a whole pack of willing women– but he tosses her aside as I enter.
“What –”
“Did you fucking take her!”
I yell as I fight the urge to shift. I know he wants her gone, wants me back. But if I attack him, it’ll be seen as a play for alpha, and I don’t have any interest in the role.
“Who –”
“Don’t –”
“Alright.”
He grabs hold of the whore as she tries to run out. I might not’ve attacked him, but I’ve disrespected him in his own home, and now he needs to make sure there’s no witnesses if he wants to keep his throne. The alternative would be to punish me, but he knows that’s damn well not going to happen – not without my permission, but I’ll give it if he helps me find Siome.
“I won’t tell anyone,”
the whore whimpers.
He breaks her neck and drops her at his feet. Normally, he would’ve soothed her, given her some false hope before he killed her, but he knows I’m not in the mood to wait for that little play of mercy.
“I haven’t taken her,”
he says as he turns his back on me, showing me that he isn’t afraid, that I can trust him. He opens up his bedside table and pulls out a pendant that can cloak us. “The gods want you miserable, and this is the most miserable I’ve seen you,” he says. He turns and holds up the pendant. “When you find her, bring her to dinner. She needs to meet the pack.”
“She’s not staying,”
I say. Despite how much I want to keep her, despite how much I want to believe her that being sun-touched is just a superstition told to keep those like me in line, I cannot take the risk. If Artemis punishes me for defying her by killing Siome herself, she’ll never be reborn.
“I know, but she’s going to go crazy with just you for company, and the pack’s getting curious.”
“Give me the pendant,” I growl.
“Your word she comes to dinner or I’ll make you fight me for alpha.”
“You won’t win.”
“No, but I’ll smile in my grave knowing you’re fucking miserable.”
He flashes me a cheeky smile.
“If I find her and get her clean –”
“Good enough.”
He tosses me the pendant, and as it sails through the air, I drop to the ground and shift. I rise fully in my wolf form and grab the pendant before it hits the floor.
“Shit, you’re getting fast,”
Oscar mutters, but I’m already gone, racing through town, my nose in the air, searching for the trail of my mate.
Those two words burn a whole in my chest. My mate.
I dreamed of claiming her one day.
Of making her mine.
Foolish dreams that could never come to pass. So when the yearning got too big, I sent her away out west.
I don’t know if I made the right decision. Don’t know if she would have died if she’d stayed, just like everyone else I cared about. But I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe, even from herself.
I track her to the edge of Shadow Domain territory. The wards around their main street keep out all but witches; even the pendant won’t get me through. But the branching streets are outside the wards so they can still deal to non-witches. The desperate wolfs and vamps like Siome.
“No cash, no product,”
I hear a man say, his thick voice carrying on the wind. She’s with him; I can smell her, and I veer off in their direction.
“I can give you Sahara Storm,”
she says, her voice shaky. My street name rolls off her tongue like a curse. Sahara for the reddish-gold color of my fur. Storm for the wreckage I leave behind. I have a large bounty on my head from both the Blood Fangs and the Shadow Domain, and hearing her use me to score hits me like a hot poker to the chest.
The man laughs. “He will not care about trash like you.”
A low growl builds in my belly. I turn the corner and see them. Neither of them can see or sense me due to the magic of the pendant, but Siome still stiffens and turns to look behind her.
“I swear –”
she starts to say, but he shoves her back. She stumbles out into the street, out of my path, and I barrel past her and into him. He stumbles back into the house. My teeth rip into his throat. He doesn’t even have the chance to scream. Siome does, though, shrieking in fear even though she knows it’s me, and hearing her fear twists the hot poker deeper into my heart. Doesn’t she know I’ll never hurt her?
I lift my bloody jaws just in time to see her run away from me. Noise deeper in the house warns me of another witch coming my way, but I leave him to chase after her. I shift into my human form beneath the cover of the pendant.
“Leave me alone!”
she screams as she peels off down the street. There isn’t a lot of people out in this seedy part of town at the moment, only addicts and homeless hiding in corners, so I wait until she passes a side street, then tackle her to the ground, twisting in the air so I hit the earth first. I roll her into the shadows of the smaller lane, stopping as I lie on top of her.
“Siome, stop!”
I hiss as I remove the pendant from my neck so she can see me. My face doesn’t bring her the calm it used to though. Doesn’t make her smile. Doesn’t make her hollow eyes light up in joy.
She lifts her head and tries to bite me, the feralness in her eyes breaking my heart.
“You don’t need the V!”
I say. “Come on, helfire. You’ve been so good. You’ve been getting clean.”
“Fuck you!”
She screams, and I’m forced to place my hand over her mouth so we don’t draw unwanted attention.
“Please, Siome. Come back to me.”
“You want to know why I don’t want to get clean?”
“Because I know if I do, you’re just going to leave.”
Her words from days ago still haunt me, cutting deep. I want to give her what she wants. I want to offer her the world. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her.
But giving us a chance could kill her.
So I do the next “best”
thing. The thing that makes me feel sick to my stomach, but it’s what I know she needs – the poor man’s version of V.
Pinning her down, I kiss her and press my thigh between the folds of her skirt. “Let me help you without the V,”
I say as she thrashes beneath me. I grab her hips and lift them up, making her rub her pussy against me. She gasps against my mouth. Her hands stop scratching to start pulling my hair. Despite my desire to stop, my cock starts to thicken as she kisses me back.
I want us to make love because she loves me, not because she’s using my body for some basic pleasure. But in the end, I will gladly take whatever crumbs she gives me.
“Fuck me here,”
she groans.
“Not in the street.”
She isn’t some whore. She deserves to have a bed. Privacy.
“Yes,”
she pants. “Don’t make me wait.”
Cursing internally, I stand and help her up. I look around to see if there’s anything we can hide behind. She pulls me towards a wall and starts to lift her skirts. My cock twitches.
“You’re not a whore,”
I say, fighting the desire to bury myself inside her right here, right now, where everyone can see. Just like she wants.
She pouts. “What if I want you to make me your whore for the night?”
My hands fist as I fight the memories of all the whores who’ve asked me something similar over the years. She isn’t a disgusting piece of filth like them. Their faces don’t belong here between us.
She reaches for my pants – a baggy set that’s able to stay with me as I shift. A dark color to hide the blood from my torn and broken bones that then heal.
I grab her wrist to stop her, then kiss her to distract her from whining. As much as she wants it, I don’t want to take her here. Pulling her towards the closest door, I break it in. A man jumps up from the sofa and turns towards me with a shout, but I shut him up by punching him in the jaw. He reels back a step, then crumbles to the ground, knocked out. I dig into my pocket and pull out some cash, throwing it on the floor as I shout, “If anyone’s home, get out!”
Siome rubs herself against me. She kisses my neck. I lift her up as the house stays silent. Her legs wrap around my waist, and I carry her until I find a bedroom.
I fuck her on his bed. Me on top, facing the door, ready to jump up and fight if he decides to come in once he regains consciousness. But he never comes in, and I come in her as she screams.
She collapses back onto the mattress, and I shudder on top of her, my cock pulsing deep inside her pussy. She sighs as she closes her eyes, riding out the pleasure of her orgasm, basking in her addiction. My eyes on her face, I wonder how long I can keep doing this. I stopped her from getting V today, but how long can I keep her clean? I thought she was getting better, but she’s just going to keep seeking it out.
My throat tightens as I brush a tendril of hair off her face as she starts to drift off into sleep. She never was a morning person.
I press a tender kiss to her lips. She sighs against me.
“Stay with me,”
she murmurs, already half-asleep. “Just promise to stay and I’ll quit the V. I promise...”
My throat closing, I hold her in my arms. I can’t give her that promise, but I leave my cock in her as she dreams.
Present day, Somewhere adrift in the ocean – Micha
Just as the glass of the potion touches my lips, someone rips it away from me. I cry out, then jerk back as something else is pressed to my mouth. The smell of chocolate is soon followed by the taste of it on my tongue. A salt-crusted bit of sweetness. So familiar, yet so alien in this hel.
“Where did you get the V?”
Antonio demands.
My tear ducts burn at the thought of him taking it away from me. Maybe if I’m honest with him, he won’t punish me? “I found it. Someone must of dropped it. Please don’t take it from me. I need it.”
“You don’t.”
“I do.”
He grabs my right hand and places it between my legs. A shock of thrill rushes through me.
“You have the power to do it yourself, Micha. Don’t let it control you.”
I bite my lip. I’m not as strong as the V.
“You need to stay clean if you want your daughter back,”
he says, his voice soothing. “You want her back, don’t you?”
My lips tremble as I nod.
“Then don’t let it control you.”
He releases his hand from me, but I can almost feel his fingers still on me. Guiding me. I rub a finger between my pussy lips. I think about him watching me, and I swallow nervously. Is he going to hit me? Hurt me to get himself off?
“I need the V,”
I say, my hand stilling. “Just a couple drops.”
“Why?”
A frustrated noise escapes my lips, but he gave me some when I answered him earlier. Perhaps he will do that again.
“I’m scared you’re going to hurt me.”
I push the words out, yank them out of my throat even as they dig their claws in in an attempt to stay silent. Telling him my fears is just giving him ammunition… isn’t it?
“I won’t hurt you as long as you obey me.”
I believe him; the honesty in his words resonate inside my soul. “But Sadist –”
“Will never touch you again. I made sure of it.”
“You saved me?”
My mouth opens in surprise. Another piece of chocolate is popped into it.
“Yes,”
he says as I chew.
“Why?”
“Because you’re carrying something very important to me.”
My throat works hard as I lift my hand to my stomach. “The cancer?”
I can’t bring myself to call it a baby.
“Yes.”
“I hate it. I want it out.”
“But then your daughter will die, and you want her to live, don’t you?”
A small cry escapes me. “Yes.”
Another piece of chocolate is offered me. It reminds me of the V. The smell entwines with my memories, and I feel as if he’s giving me what I want. What I need.
“I will bring her back to you. I will give you whatever you ask of me as long as you do what I say.”
I nod. “I will.”
I just want her home.
“Then no more V.”
I flinch, but I don’t beg again. I just drop my hand to my pussy and try to take the poor man’s version like he showed me. I slide my fingers between my lips. Shuffle my legs so I can get into a better position to ride them. As he stands silently in front of me, I kneel at his feet and chase the high of the V.
My fingers slip inside myself. One. Two. Three at a time. I rub my clit on the palm of my hand. I can feel his presence like a god’s touch, an omnipotent force that’s protecting me. So much power and danger just out of reach.
My breath quickens as I become intoxicated from being the focus of a man so dominant. Desire rushes through my veins. I roll my hips, curling my fingers to hit the G-spot that’s only a few inches inside, but the pleasure is coming from him. From knowing his eyes are on me. From his body being in front of me, protecting mine.
With a cry, I orgasm on my fingers and chase the high of that release. I shudder and shake as the pleasure rushes through me, erasing the pain and fear I’ve been trying so hard to outrun.
“See?”
Antonio murmurs as I collapse onto the ground at his feet. “You don’t need V to stop the pain.” His fingers brush a piece of hair from my face. “You just need me.”
Yes… I think as I close my eyes. I just need him.
My savior…
He’s the only one who cares about me and Rafiki.
The only one who deserves my loyalty.