Fifty--Nine
Antonio
May 30 1893, Cornelius, North Carolina
She presses herself up against me as soon as we enter a private room of the whore house. She wears only her skirts, her breasts free to dangle and grab. I have no interest in them though. Or her. It’s just been three years since I’ve been touched, and the primal part of me will no longer be ignored.
Especially not when I just got news from Jack that Siome is dating some fucker with a ranch. I am happy for her. I truly am. She deserves all the good things in life, the love and laughter of a good family. I’m just miserable for myself.
So I got drunk and came here. The matron knows what I’m really after though. She’s been paid well to clean up after me. She also knows that if this place didn’t have the Death Hunt stamp on it, I’d kill all of them for being dirty fucking whores.
Instead, I’m just going to kill this one. It’s still cheating on Siome; it’s still fucking wrong, but it eases some of my guilt. Allows me to get hard enough to actually use her for the release I need.
She murmurs something in my ear as she reaches her hand into my pants. I’ve already taken a Rick, so the dick she grabs isn’t mine.
I’m not interested in foreplay though. I don’t care about her getting any pleasure from this. She sold her body and I purchased it. So I shove her up against the wall, turn her around, and hike up her skirts. She tries to face me again, to tell me perhaps to slow down, she isn’t wet enough, but I punch her in the face, breaking her nose. She screams as her knees buckle. I hit her again, this time in the jaw, and she stops on a dazed whimper even as she hits the ground. I reach down and grab a fistful of her golden hair, then drag her just far enough to lay her out. Right in front of the door. She isn’t fit to have a fucking bed.
This isn’t romantic.
This isn’t pleasurable.
It’s just a fucking animalistic drive.
I turn her over onto her stomach. She moans in pain as blood seeps into the wooden boards. I hike up her skirts and throw them over her head, then pull my cock out of my pants, slip on a condom, and lie down on top of her. Not caring which hole it goes in, I push in wherever it lies.
She yelps, her ass clenching, her torso jumping off the floor. I wrap a hand around her head, pressing her skirts into her face as I muffle her cries.
Her ass is squeezing my cock, trying to stop me from going in any further, but with a jerk of my hips, I ram in balls deep. She screams against her skirts and my hand, and I close my eyes as I fuck her, trying not to think of Siome with another man.
I want her to be happy.
I need her to be happy even if it isn’t with me.
I just want her –
That’s fucking it.
I just want her.
And I can’t have her.
Because of the godsdamn curse from Artemis, Grecian Goddess of the Moon and Hunt. I’m sun touched. Supposed to live a life of misery so she doesn’t.
And I can deal with that. As long as she is happy, I can take the torture of her absence. As long as she is fucking happy.
This new man better take care of her, or I swear to the gods, swear to death itself, that I will kill him and anyone he fucking knows. Including Jack, the man I owe a thousand times over for taking her away from me and watching out for her all these years.
Because they might think they’re not at fault, but they knew him and allowed him to live long enough to hurt my mate. I don’t give a shit how little they knew him. Not when it comes to her. The whole world will burn for failing her. And then I will kill myself too because I’d be the biggest failure of them all.
I squeeze my eyes tight as I rut the whore, imagining her easy laughter, her quick smile. Her fearlessness in the face of my grumpiness and misery. Not even my parents ever looked at me like I was worth knowing. No one like that deserves the only life I’d be able to give them – an infection of pain and sorrow.
She deserves the world.
She will get the world.
Or I swear to everything I am that I will burn it down.
I come in the whore beneath me, a physical release that gives me nothing. Fucking them never makes me feel any better; it just helps with the urges for the next few months or years. The ones that are so ingrained within our kind – a pack, a society, a home in the touch of another. Werewolves are not meant to be alone; being touch-starved can literally drive us to the Craving. So I seek a whore out every few months or years when needs must be met in order to ease that hunger.
It doesn’t help with the self-loathing though.
The guilt.
No, that expands, exploding out in an instant. Jumping to my feet, I kick her in the stomach. She curls up and wraps her arms around her head. I kick her again, breaking her bones. I stomp on her, beat her, and my dick’s not even soft yet. She tries to defend herself for the first few seconds, but soon she lies still, her body moving wherever I kick it, like a rag doll. My rage continues to rain down on her broken and bleeding body, and with it, a howl erupts.
I cheated on Siome.
Hearing about this will hurt her.
How the fuck can I claim to protect her, to give her the world when I do shit that I know will make her hurt?
Shifting into my wolf, I give in to the hunger, the rage. And I slaughter everyone in this whore house until all that’s left is my guilt and misery.
Present day, Somewhere adrift in the ocean – Antonio
My cock is wet form the Shadow whore’s mouth, and it makes me want to tear the fucking thing off and choke her with it. She isn’t my fucking mate. I shouldn’t have touched her. I promised Siome “till death do us part”
– our deaths, not just hers, and I fucking failed her. This will hurt her if she finds out. I knew it would, and yet, I still did it just to hurt him.
Varius fucking Shadow.
Furious with myself, I grab his hand. I’m not worried he pulled an arm free from the nails. There’s a witch’s snare looped around his neck and two more around his ankles. Power alone doesn’t mean anything when it comes to those golden chains.
Besides, he’s passed out from the effects of the Craving, so I have time to bite off his fingers and swallow them down before he wakes, make sure he can’t use any magic he has.
I don’t know what he’s capable of, had always thought him to be a witch without magic. So it’s better to be safe than sorry. Shifting just my teeth into those of my wolf, I bite off his fingers. I don’t bother with his other hand. I want him to know the consequences of his actions. I want him to break. To suffer. I haven’t kept him just to breed him and then let him loose when it suits my plan, letting him “escape”
back home with Micha. He’s here to pay for his mother’s sins.
Thinking of my own crimes, of the wetness of my cock, my fury ignites through every inch of my skin. I use a bit of the sheet to wipe off her slobber and traces of my cum. Then I stalk from the room, knowing I need to kill her to make this right. It’s the only acceptable way to apologize to my mate.
I failed her.
I was weak.
But I will make it right.
I don’t need Micha alive anymore. I have three other female wolves on the boat that I know can make hybrids. Rudy hasn’t managed to get any of them pregnant, so I’ll give him to Eduardo to play with and dissect, then pawn his women off on Varius.
Getting Sau will be harder when the time comes but not impossible. I’ll just go with my original plan of torturing her sons so badly that she comes to me.
So that confirms it. Micha will no longer breathe. She’ll no longer be alive to insult my mate’s memory.
My clenched jaw radiating my fury, I track her down to her room. The shower’s running. She’s trying to get clean. I can hear her crying beneath the spray. She hates his touch as much as I hate hers.
I wrench open the bathroom door, and she turns to me.
“Antonio. I –”
I cut off her words with a punch to her face. I don’t want to kill her slowly by cutting off her air. I want to beat out my guilt and shame. I want to hurt her for helping me hurt Siome.
She stumbles back into the shower and hits her head.
“I’m sorry!”
she blurts. “I’m –”
I hit her again, then grab and haul her out of the shower.
“I did what you want!”
She cries as she lifts her arms to block her head. So I hit her in the stomach, causing her to curl in. “Stop, please! I’m sorry.”
I kick down on her knee, breaking it with a hard snap! She screams as she collapses to the ground, but still she tries to face me. Down on her knees, her hands together as if in prayer. “I’ll do anything to make this right. I just want Rafiki back. Please! I’ll do anything to get her back!”
My foot freezes an inch from breaking open her face.
My heart beats too damn fast.
Skips a beat.
Skips all of them, I’m fucking sure.
Because the world doesn’t feel right anymore.
My peripherals are closing in.
The noise of the shower’s fading behind the buzzing in my ears.
“What did you call her?”
I rasp, my entire body shaking as I set my foot down beside her and haul her back upright.
Her head lolls, so much blood pouring from her nose, lip, and temple. “My baby?”
she croaks. “I call her Rafiki.” Her face twists in pain, and I remember her saying she never really named her. So it’s just a nickname.
A nickname…
My hands fucking shake.
“Please just let me help you get her back…”
She sobs in my grip, so much pain on her face. So much mother’s love and worry. “I’ll do anything.”
Rafiki…
Rafiki...
Raphello
Fiana
Kimmy
The names of the three pups I shared with Siome...
February 14 1917, St. Augustine, Florida
“Do you think we’ll recognize each other if we meet in the next life?”
Siome asks as we cuddle on the front porch, waiting for the sunrise. My hand is on her belly as she lies against my side, curled up on the couch I bought just for her to drag me out of bed too damn fucking early every day. But though I yawn, I cherish every moment I get to spend with her. Not even utter exhaustion can make me want to sleep in when she’s the alternative.
Especially since, although she might have convinced me that being sun-touched doesn’t mean I’m cursed, we are still in the middle of a war with the Shadow Domain and the Blood Fangs. Though, in a couple days, I’m asking them to meet me behind the old library in town, a place of peace talks that all three of our gangs have honored since this war began. Despite how quick I’ve been to turn to violence, I am excited for what can come from this parlay.
My fingers dance across Siome’s belly. I’m excited for the future family we are about to have.
When we found out she was pregnant – after years of struggle, she asked me to leave the Death Hunt for her. But with my desired skill set and past sins, it was too dangerous for us to live without a pack. Both our enemies and allies alike would hunt us – wanting us for different reasons but wanting us all the same.
She screams in frustration as she stands in our kitchen. “There’s always an excuse with you!”
“It’s not an excuse. Siome, I want to. I just –”
“Can’t. Yeah, I know! And so what? You’re just going to send me away again? And our three pups? To save us?”
“You know that’s the best –”
“That’s not the best! You’re the best. Us staying together is the best! They need their father!”
My heart twists all the way up my fucking throat. I want to raise them with her. Be there for her. Fall asleep to her every night and wake up a few hours later to soothe our babies so she can sleep. But I can’t.
“A war is no place to raise a family,” I try.
“So stop it!”
She says it like it’s so fucking obvious, and for a moment, I just stare at her in disbelief.
Then I shake my head. “I can’t just stop a two-thousand year war!”
“Why not?”
“Well, for one, I’m not even alpha!”
“So become it. Oscar is too conservative. He doesn’t look to the future.”
“Siome –”
“You talk about burning the world down if it fails me,”
she cuts in, her red eyes blazing. “But what good is all that talk when you can’t even figure out how to change one small corner of it to protect me?” She grabs my hand and places it on her stomach. “To protect us?”
I huff out a breath.
But her eyes soften. She knows she’s got me.
When I promised her the world, I fucking meant it.
“Okay,”
I say, and her grin breaks out completely. “But you’re helping me figure out a way to stop this war. That’s going to be a lot of sleepless nights.”
She shrugs a shoulder. “I’m about to be a mom. I’ll be up anyway.”
Gods, I love this woman and her optimism. Gathering her in my arms, I show her just how much.
It’s crazy to think that in one month we’ve come this far. I took the position of alpha and convinced all my capos to agree to peace talks. We’re all so tired of this damn war. We all have kids we wish to raise in peace. Who we wish to see grow up.
My fingers dance across Siome’s stomach once more as I stare at the lighting sky. In another few months, by the time our pups are born, who knows what the world will be like?
“Hmm?”
she says, prodding me in the side and turning her face up to mine.
Remembering her question: Do you think we’ll recognize each other in the after life, I say, “We won’t have to. I forbid you from dying.”
She laughs, but I’m fucking serious. I won’t survive it if she dies.
Snuggling up tighter against me, she lifts my arm from her belly and kisses it. Then she beams up at me, her red eyes burning with so much mischief. “I’d recognize your grumpy ass anywhere, anytime.”
“No, you wouldn’t. The gods don’t let us come back with our memories.”
“I know. But I’d just have to look for the guy who gets jealous of alligators.”
My eyes narrow. “It was a croc.”
And it was way too close to her face. She kissed it.
“See?”
She pokes my frown. “Instant ID for Mr. Grumpy.”
I fight the smile for a second before giving in. Squeezing her tight, I kiss the top of her head. “And I’ll just have to look for the lady who infuriates me the most.”
“Hey!”
She turns to face me, and I pull her all the way onto my lap with a cheeky smile. She’s so predictable. She straddles me. I kiss her. We strip.
But then she stops me.
Pulls back. “You know, a good girl like me shouldn’t be having sex out of wedlock,”
she says, fighting back a grin.
“I’m already mated to you.”
“Yeah, but my soul could burn for all eternity if we don’t get married.”
“It’s a silly ritual when compared to –”
“Mymecia pyiformis.”
She places her hands on her hips and huffs out a breath. My eyes dart to her tits, and she reaches forward to twist my nipple between her fingers.
“Ow!”
“You better ask me to marry you right now. Because I’m tired of waiting for you, and I’m fucking horny.”
“If you’re happy to curse without damning your soul, you should be happy to have –”
I yelp as she tickles me. She grins as she attacks me further, her little fingers destroying my sides until she gets me to yield.
“Fine! Siome Jackson, will you marry me and put me out of my misery?”
She lights up, and silly human tradition or not, I’d marry her a thousand times if she keeps looking at me like that.
“No,” she says.
My mouth drops open. “What do you mean no?”
She shrugs. “I feel like that was a lackluster proposal.”
“You put me on the spot!”
“Well.”
She sniffs. “Do better.”
Rolling her beneath me, I do better all right, and she is Better.
I get her to scream until she begs me to fuck her and marry her and do anything else I please.
Curling up with her in my arms, I realize we forgot to watch the sunrise. But that’s okay because we can watch it together tomorrow.
And the day after that.
And the day after that.
Because this parlay is going to lead to a peace treaty. I can feel it in my soul.
Surely, they are as tired of war as we are?
Present day, Somewhere adrift in the ocean – Antonio
My mind reels as I look at the woman in my grip.
It can’t be…
But it could.
Siome’s been dead for over a hundred years. She would have had time to be reborn. To come back to me… She never was one for waiting.
I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts.
But she looks a bit like her. If her black hair was longer. If her eyes were red…
And she’s been such a pain in the ass since I met her. First at the Shadow House when I tried to grab Khalid’s girl. She made it so I didn’t have time to check for the back-up stash of alexandrite I knew they had.
Then when I went to kill her that second time. I wanted to grab Sau, but she fought back harder than I thought. She was supposed to be a quick done deal.
And then here – killing all my breeding chimeras one by one. The successful ones are infertile, so I let them go, no longer needing them because of her fucking husband having destroyed the foundations of the Death Hunt.
My throat tightens.
And the similarity in the V. I came back to find her just like I found Siome – the Fates perhaps needing to smack me in the face with a four by four because I didn’t get all the previous clues. Even her name overlaps. Siome – ends with a ‘me’ sound. Micha starts with it.
One cycle to the next.
“Oh my gods.”
Gathering her up in my arms, my heart bursting with love and grief, with shame and guilt for all I’ve done to her, I carry her out of the room, racing for Eduardo’s quarters. He’ll heal her. I don’t care if it kills him. He’ll heal her.
“I’m sorry,”
I say as she clings to me, her head so bloody and bruised. “Fuck, little helfire. I’m so sorry.”