Chapter 7
Jackie
I ’d given Cheyenne a concerned look after Jagger walked into Trent’s office, and she shook her head as some of the club’s ol’ ladies walked up and asked if they could join us. It was nice being included in their conversations, and when I wasn’t sure what they were talking about, they were kind enough to fill in the missing pieces. Even though we were having a great time, I kept glancing at the closed office door, waiting for Jagger to return.
When he came out and walked straight to our table, I exhaled a sigh but could see there was something going on. Something seemed to be weighing down on him. He would laugh at the jokes, interject when appropriate, and to anyone who wasn’t paying attention, it seemed like he was in a good mood.
But I could feel the anger radiating off him, and twice, I looked over and found his gaze was locked on something across the room. He’d snap out of whatever drew his attention and bring his smile back to me, but it didn’t reach his eyes. I slowly sipped on my second drink, not wanting to get drunk. Deep down, I was hoping we could move past the kissing stage of our relationship and wanted to keep my head straight.
Jagger sipped a beer until it was gone, then a bottle of water appeared in front of him. The weed was prevalent throughout the evening, but his outward appearance didn’t seem to change, even after he smoked a few times. I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. When he offered a joint to me, I held up my hand and declined. The only person here who knew why I wasn’t smoking was Cheyenne.
My mother had many addictions, from what Granny said, and growing up, knowing she’d left me so she could continue to party, I wasn’t interested in something that would alter my mind. I wasn’t against weed, and our tribe was open about its use to connect with our pasts, but it wasn’t something I’d ever been interested in doing.
So, that left Jagger and me probably the two most sober people at the bar as Cheyenne and some of the ol’ ladies finished two pitchers of margaritas while Roughstock had a few shots and a lot of weed. Being mostly sober in a bar was strange, and when the loud music became too much for me, I stood from my chair, drawing Jagger’s attention.
“Where are you going?” he asked, and I leaned over to speak into his ear.
“I need some fresh air, but I’ll be right back.”
He went to stand, but I pressed my hand to his shoulder, shaking my head. Uncertainty looked back at me, and I’d swear I could feel his eyes on me as I walked out the front door of the Sin Den. When the door closed behind me, the loud noise from the party muted to a manageable level. Taking a deep breath, I looked up at the stars in the wide-open sky and couldn’t help but smile.
I’d been alone for so long and stupidly fawning over Jagger for months. Now, he was mine and I was his, and I couldn’t have been happier. I still hadn’t told my father since he was at a council meeting with the leaders of the other South Dakota tribes and wouldn’t be home for another two days. Deep down, I knew he would be happy for me, especially after what happened with the guy I had dated after high school, but part of me was worried he wouldn’t approve of Jagger.
He liked Nitro, and he and Roughstock got along great, but I was his only daughter. My three brothers were all married and starting families, but my father always kept me a little closer. When my ex was caught cheating, my father wanted to kick his ass, but I reminded him that a cheater wasn’t worth the trouble.
At twenty-eight, I was past what the tribe considered to be the age to marry, but I wanted to wait for the right person. I didn’t want someone who settled for me, but rather, someone who fought for me. I wanted the great kind of love I’d seen in old movies with Granny, but for too long, I feared it wasn’t a realistic dream. Now, I thought there may be that chance.
But I wasn’t going to start planning the wedding. We’d kissed and held each other throughout the week, but what would happen after we were intimate or had a disagreement? I knew Jagger was closed-off, and after hearing him admit the truth about his father, I was starting to understand why. Only time would tell if we would have forever.
The door opened behind me and Phantom stepped out. I glanced at him as he stepped beside me and handed me a glass. I furled my brows.
“Soda, no alcohol.”
“Thanks,” I returned and took a swallow.
“I didn’t mean to disrupt your peace, but after what happened to Cheyenne, I wanted to keep an eye on you. Just to be safe,” Phantom explained as he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his cut and lit one, blowing out the grayish smoke. He fanned the air and took a few steps away from me. “Sorry. Old habit that likes to ride my back from time to time.”
“No problem,” I remarked and looked back up at the sky.
“He really likes you. In all the years I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him smile as much as when you’re around.” I snapped my gaze to him, but he looked off into the darkness as he continued to speak. “And he’s been looking at you for longer than you realize.”
He thumped the ashes to the ground, as I said, “I don’t understand.”
He took another draw off his cigarette and glanced at me. “You’ve been coming to the bar for, what, about three or four years now?” I nodded, and he reasoned, “And for that entire time, I’ve seen him looking at you. Maybe not with the puppy dog eyes he has now, but you’ve had his attention for years.”
“Why . . . why did he wait so long?” I asked, not really expecting an answer.
“He’s a complicated guy who puts too much of the world on his shoulders.” He took another puff, dropped his smoke to the ground, and stepped on it, extinguishing the smoldering end. “When he acts like a dumbass, just . . . don’t give up on him.”
Without another word, he turned and opened the door, flooding my ears with the loud music and my nostrils with the odor of smoke and alcohol freely flowing inside. The door closed behind him, and I was left standing alone again. It was a weird conversation from someone I’d barely spoken to through the years, but I understood what he was saying.
Don’t hurt his friend.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go back inside to the loud environment or if I wanted to stay outside in the cool evening. Growing up on the reservation, silence was abundant most of the time, so the bar wasn’t where I hung out for too long. I enjoyed the festivities, but for some reason, tonight, I felt like my skin was tingling.
Rubbing my hands up and down my arms, I realized it was getting colder. Just as I was about to go back inside to grab my jacket, the door opened and out stepped the man I couldn’t stop thinking about. He smiled as he walked up, draped my jacket over my shoulders, and pulled me against him. He was warm, and I snuggled closer as he kissed the top of my head.
I don’t know why, but I loved when he did that. It made me feel protected, special, and dare I say loved?
“Phantom said it was a little too much for you inside.” I lifted my head from his chest, and he smiled down at me as he asked, “Why didn’t you tell me? We could’ve left when you were ready.”
I wrapped my arms around his waist as I returned, “I didn’t want to take you away from the party. I think I’m just worn out from the long week.”
“Are you sure that’s it?”
I shrugged. “I guess. I don’t mean to be a party pooper, but it’s just not my scene tonight. I can get myself back to the ranch if you want to go back inside.”
He smiled and moved me back from him before he spoke. “If you’re ready to leave, then I’ll text Phantom and he can let Roughstock and Cheyenne know. They’re staying here, by the way. Your cousin had a little too much, and he already took her to their room upstairs and put her to bed.”
I looked up at the second floor of the clubhouse and felt bad that I didn’t say good night to her. “I guess if you’re really okay with leaving, then I think I’d like to go back and maybe get into the hot tub since they’re staying here tonight.”
Jagger leaned down and placed his hands on my cheeks as he pressed his lips to mine. His voice was husky as he said, “You read my mind, beautiful.”
Pulling out his phone, he typed something then slid it back into the pocket of his cut while I put my jacket on. I was already eager to get into the hot tub and soak away the stress and hard work.
Jagger took my hand into his and guided me around the side of the clubhouse and then to the back of the building where we parked. There were motorcycles parked in the front, along the side, and next to our off-road vehicles, and as Jagger helped me into the passenger seat, I remarked off-handedly, “I’d love to go for a ride.”
Jagger walked around the back and got behind the wheel before he looked over with hooded eyes and replied, “I’ll give you a ride.”
I smiled and bit my lip before he winked at me and cranked the engine. After backing out, making sure to not touch one of the bikes, he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road leading back to the house. It was about a ten-minute drive across the open land, and when we were about halfway, just over the creek that cut through the property, I asked, “Could you stop and turn off the engine?”
He gave me a confused look but did as I asked. After finding a fairly flat spot close to some boulders sticking out of the ground, he turned the engine off and pivoted to face me. The black sky, devoid of any light pollution, was clearer than I remembered seeing in years. Millions of twinkling stars filled the sky above us, and as I looked up at them, I couldn’t help but smile.
Glancing over at Jagger, I saw him smiling as he watched me. “What?”
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he remarked, and my smile grew bigger.
Leaning over the small console, I pressed my lips to his, and when he gripped the back of my neck, pressing me closer to him, I felt the last of my inhibitions fall away. Pushing off my seat, I released our kiss as I stood through the open top of the vehicle and positioned one foot on either side of his lap before kneeling. There wasn’t much room, but I needed to be closer to him at that moment.
Jagger grabbed my neck again, pulling me closer to him as he kissed me like I’d never been kissed before. His tongue explored my mouth as one hand slowly crept up my leg to my waist. When I felt him moving higher, I tried to move my hips, only to realize how tight a fit we were.
“I need to get you back to the house,” he mumbled as his lips moved across my cheek and down my neck. My head rolled to the side as he nibbled my skin, and I was both chilly and burning up at the same time.
“There’s a blanket in the backseat,” I remarked and heard him actually growl against my neck.
“I’m trying to do right by you, my beautiful warrior. Please don’t push me, or we’ll end up right here on the ground.”
I brought my head up and leaned closer to him, whispering into his ear, “Out here, on the ground, we’ll be closer to the universe.”
His eyes seemed like they flared in the darkness before the driver’s door was opened and he turned, holding me to his body as he climbed out of the vehicle. Stepping to the back, he motioned with his head, and while still being held by him, I reached down and plucked the blanket from the seat.
Jagger marched away from the vehicle and around the back of the boulders, giving us some privacy from the road. I dropped the blanket onto the ground, and he reluctantly placed me on my feet without releasing his hold on me.
His lips pressed against mine as the kiss went from simple to frenzied in a matter of moments. We both began to make awkward movements to get to the blanket while still keeping our lips connected, and once I felt the hard ground under me and his weight on top of me, something shifted inside me.
I knew this was right, out here, under the stars, giving into our primal needs. And when he pushed up onto his knees and looked down at me, I knew we were being given a blessing from the ancestors. A moment in the busy modern world to connect on a level so basic and so old, there was no way this wasn’t meant to be.