Chapter 10
Jagger
T he farther I drove away from Roughstock’s ranch, the more I knew I’d fucked everything up with Jackie. When I saw the messages about Nana, I was impulsive and angry. Not at Jackie, but at myself, though I focused my rage on her. She didn’t deserve my hurtful words or my suggesting last night was a mistake.
“Damn it,” I yelled into the cab of my truck as I slammed my fist against the steering wheel.
The painful look in her eyes when I drove away would stay with me forever. I should have let her come with me, but I was too busy blaming myself—or more accurately, blaming her—for Nana’s injury. But with the temper I’d known Jackie to have from past experiences, she wouldn’t forgive my outburst anytime soon, no matter the reason.
When I got closer to town, I called Nana’s neighbor, needing to see how she was doing. Lifting the phone up so I could put it on speaker while I drove, I dialed Ms. Johnson’s phone number and listened to it ring.
“Lincoln?” Nana asked, and my heart seemed to relax some.
“Nana? Where are you? What happened?” I asked with a tremor in my voice.
“I’m back home, Lincoln,” she remarked, and I switched lanes and turned the truck in the direction of her house. “And I’m fine. Ms. Johnson called you for no reason, and I’m sorry for making you worry.”
“Your ankle is broken, Nana. That’s reason enough to worry.”
“My ankle isn’t broken. She panicked for nothing when she called you and the ambulance, and she should’ve called you back and told you I was fine.” I could hear her speaking to someone else in the room. “Why didn’t you call Lincoln back, Hattie? He’s all worried for nothing.” They said something I couldn’t hear, then Nana added, “She said she’s sorry for making you worry.”
I wanted to yell but needed to see her with my own two eyes. “I’ll be there in ten minutes, and you can explain everything.”
“You don’t have to make a fuss. I’m fine.”
“I’ll be there in nine,” I returned and hung up the phone.
Now, I wanted to kick my own ass for panicking and not making a phone call to Ms. Johnson before I tore out of Roughstock’s. And before I made that cruel and hurtful statement to Jackie. I needed to call her and apologize, so when I got to a stop light, I quickly dialed her number. It rang twice before going to voicemail, and when I was listening to her beautiful greeting, I tried to find the right level of apology, remorse, and begging as I left my message.
“I fucked up, and I can’t say I’m sorry enough. Nana’s fine. I . . . I shouldn’t have said what I did, and I know there’s no way to make this go away, but I hope you can give me a chance to make it up to you. Please, my beautiful warrior. Call me.”
Hanging up, I waited for a few minutes and called the number back, hearing her voicemail pick up immediately.
“Shit,” I yelled as I turned onto Nana’s long street.
Quickly, I dialed Roughstock’s number. He answered on the first ring. “Jagger. Cheyenne and I were just about to head back to the house, and I was gonna call to tell you to cover your ass.”
He chuckled, and I felt a lump in my throat before I cleared it. “I’m not at the house, and I fucked things up with Jackie already.”
“What the hell man? What happened?”
I shook my head and tried to explain as I pulled into Nana’s driveway. “My phone died last night, and when I got it charging this morning, I received a bunch of messages from Nana’s neighbor that she was hurt and on the way to the hospital.”
“Fuck, man. Is she okay? What can we do?” he asked.
“She’s okay. Her neighbor freaked out and panic messaged me last night. But that’s not it.” I sighed as I put the truck in park and turned it off. “She offered to come with me, and I basically said it was her fault that Nana was left alone to get hurt. I . . . I told her I was sorry about last night.” He whistled but didn’t say anything, so I asked, “How badly did I fuck this up?”
It was the other voice that came through the phone that let me know how much I’d messed up. “You basically implied that spending the night with her, being . . . with her for the first time, was a mistake?”
Cheyenne didn’t seem pissed, but I knew better. Responding to her question, I said, “Yeah, that about sums it up.”
Roughstock spoke next. “I don’t think this’ll be fixable anytime soon. Jackie . . .”
“What?” I asked when he didn’t finish his statement.
“Let’s just say her ex wasn’t the nicest guy when she discovered his betrayal. He said his only mistake was fucking her.” He paused as I let the weight of that sentence press down on me. “He . . . he destroyed her self-worth.”
“Can I ever fix this?” I asked.
“Let Cheyenne talk to her, and I’ll let you know how’s she doing when we get back to the house. We’re leaving now.”
“I’m going inside to check on Nana, then I’ll call you back. Thanks, brother.”
“Yep,” he returned, and the phone went silent.
Exiting the truck, I pushed the phone into my cut and was about to step away when a breeze blew across my stomach, reminding me I didn’t have a shirt or socks on. Opening the back door, I grabbed a clean shirt and socks from the duffle before I turned and walked up the stairs to the front door.
Without knocking, I walked inside and straight to where I heard noise coming from. Nana was sitting in one of the dining room chairs, and her neighbor, Ms. Johnson, was sitting across from her. She lowered her gaze and said, “I’m sorry for causing you any worry, Lincoln. When I found her and saw her ankle, I freaked out.”
I went to pull out a chair, but Nana raised her hand. “I’ve got my foot elevated on that one.”
I nodded and walked around to the last chair then looked at Nana as I spoke. “Tell me what happened.”
She swished her hand through the air as she tried to reason. “I can put weight on my foot, there’s only minor swelling, and I can move it.”
“What happened?” I demanded, and the look she gave me said to calm down, but at that moment, I couldn’t.
This overreaction could have cost me the only woman I’d ever wanted to make a go of it with, and I needed to know exactly what happened. Then I needed to get my little warrior to listen to me so I could apologize and grovel until she forgives me.
“I made me a drink last night before my show came on, and I guess I dropped a piece of ice on the floor. When I came to put my glass in the sink before bed, I slipped on a small puddle and twisted my ankle,” Nana explained. I narrowed my gaze at her, then she added, “I called Hattie after I scooted myself back to the living room to get my phone because I didn’t want to bother you. She got worked up when she got here and called an ambulance, even though I told her I was fine.” Nana looked at Ms. Johnson. “I wasn’t aware that she called you until she got to the hospital.”
“Why didn’t you call me, Nana? I would’ve come right over,” I interjected, trying to keep the anger out of my voice.
“I didn’t call you because there wasn’t a need to call you. I’m fine. And you have a life that needs to keep going, so I don’t want you dropping everything to help me.”
I took her hand into mine. “You’re the only family I have left, and it’s my job to take care of you.” Pausing, I asked, “Why did you go to the hospital if it’s only a sprain?”
“Tell him,” Ms. Johnson groused, and Nana cut her eyes in a harsh glare at her friend.
“The paramedics wanted to be sure I didn’t have a concussion, so they insisted I go. But everything checked out okay,” she quickly added.
“You hit your head?” I asked, realizing this could have been much worse.
She touched the side of her head. “When I slipped, I hit the side of my head on the handle of the fridge, but it doesn’t even hurt.”
Scrubbing my hands over my face, I wanted to scream. She was always hard-headed, but this was over the top, even for Nana. Sighing, I looked at her and said, “The paramedics were right to make you go, and Ms. Johnson was right to call me. I . . . I should’ve been here.”
“No, you shouldn’t have. You need to be with your young lady,” she remarked, and I gave her a curious look. I hadn’t mentioned Jackie to Nana yet, so I wondered how she knew. Seeing my questioning expression, she answered, “Your friends love to gossip when they eat.”
Stunned, I couldn’t believe my Nana had used baked goods to get my brothers to tell her about Jackie. They were supposed to keep secrets, and anyway, after my fuck-up this morning, they may have jumped the gun. Jackie was hurt, I was an ass, and I didn’t know how to fix this.
Shaking my head, I looked down as I admitted, “I don’t have a young lady. Not anymore.”
“Lincoln, what did you do?” Nana asked softly.
I knew why she asked the question that way, but I wasn’t going to address the unspoken part of her inquiry yet. “When I got the messages from Ms. Johnson, I . . . I was terrified something had happened to you, and I . . . I may have insinuated that if I was here last night instead . . . instead of with her, you wouldn’t be hurt.”
She gasped and covered her mouth as Ms. Johnson shook her head and looked away. I knew what I said was wrong the minute the words broke free from my lips, but I was so off-kilter from the message that all I wanted was to get to Nana. I didn’t take Jackie’s feelings into consideration, and after hearing what Roughstock said about her ex, I realized I’d blown up the best thing that had ever happened to me.
“Have you called her and explained that I’m okay? Have you tried to tell her you were sorry?” Nana asked.
“I tried to call her on the way over here and left her a message, but when I called back, she had her phone off. I messed up, and I don’t know if there’s a way to fix it,” I admitted.
Just then, my phone chimed, and I pulled it out, hoping it was Jackie. Seeing a message from Roughstock, I opened the app and began to read.
Roughstock: Jackie was gone when we got back and one of the ranch hands said she was crying after you left. Cheyenne can’t get her on the phone, but we assume she’s gone up to the reservation.
Quickly, I typed out a response.
Me: I’m leaving Nana’s in a few and will try to call her. Will you ask Cheyenne to let me know if she hears from her?
Roughstock: I’ll try, but right now, my ol’ lady is pretty pissed at you. I understand what happened, but Jackie is delicate, even if she’s sometimes flowers and other times a bomb.
Pushing the phone into the pocket of my cut, I looked at Nana and stated, “I’m going to have a night duty nurse come by until you’re healed, and I won’t hear you decline. I need to know you’re okay, and if you don’t want me to take care of you, someone else will.”
She opened and closed her mouth a few times before she sighed and replied, “Whatever you think is best, Lincoln.”
Standing from my seat, I kissed her on the cheek and walked around to do the same with Ms. Johnson. “I need to get back to the ranch and handle business, but I’ll be by this evening to spend the night until we can interview services.” Looking down at Ms. Johnson, I asked, “Can you stay with her for a few hours until I get back?”
“I’ll make sure dinner is taken care of, in case you’re later than expected,” Ms. Johnson replied and added, “I’m really sorry if I caused you any trouble with your young lady. I . . . I was just so worried about your Nana.”
“I understand and don’t want you to worry about it. I’m just glad you were here for her when she needed someone the most.” I offered them both a small smile before walking out of the kitchen, through the front door, and straight to my truck.
Before getting into the truck, I took my cut off and laid it on the seat then pulled my shirt on. Putting my cut back on, I climbed into the truck and started the engine while I slipped my boots off and pulled my socks on. Pushing my feet back into the boots, I backed out of the driveway and onto the street as I thought about what I could say to get Jackie to forgive me.
Hell, I’d be happy with anything to just get her to listen without throwing a knife at me.
I hurt her with my words, and if she gave me a second chance, I’d never be cross with her again. But something told me it would be an uphill climb to regain her trust. It was a good thing I was an athlete and a roughneck because uphill battles were right up my alley.
I drove through town, I began to devise a plan, hoping Cheyenne and Roughstock would help without throwing me off their front porch.