CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
AIDEN
It was after six o’clock in the evening when I finally stumbled in the door.
The first thing that struck me was the scent of cooking bacon.
“Fuck me, that smells good,” I called, pulling my shoes off in the entranceway.
I couldn’t see either of my dimari in the living room.
One of them – most likely Kade – was in the kitchen, cooking dinner, but Jai could be either in there helping Kade, or closeted away in his bedroom.
“Welcome home, sir,” Kade called from the kitchen. “Would you like me to fuck you first, or should I keep cooking dinner?”
I snorted, delighted with the ready sass, after the afternoon I’d had.
“Dinner first,” I said, heading for the kitchen.
“Then you can fuck me after…” I cut myself off abruptly, as I turned the corner.
From the comment, I’d decided that Kade must be alone.
But there was Jai, leaning nonchalantly against the kitchen counter, arms folded as he watched Kade cook, and still as blue as he’d been when I’d left the house.
“I’m teaching Jai how to make fettucine carbonara,” Kade explained, at my confused look.
“It was getting a bit late, so I thought I should cook, rather than waiting to go out for dinner.” That last part was said almost apologetically.
I’d told him earlier in the day to do exactly that, but I knew he’d still be wary about the possibility of disappointing me.
“Perfect,” I said, with no small amount of relief in my voice. “We can go out another night. I’m exhausted.” I sidled up to Kade and kissed him on the cheek. I was tempted to do the same to Jai, but wasn’t sure if he’d appreciate it.
On the stove, there was a bubbling pot of pasta and a frying pan full of sliced onion, mushroom and bacon – the source of the scent that was filling the house. “That looks absolutely delightful.”
“How did it go?” Kade asked, turning the heat down. “Is Sora okay?”
“He’s… better. I’ll have to check in with his master again tomorrow, but he was a lot calmer by the time I left.
For the moment, I think he’s just got a lot of different ideas to work through.
” I was trying to give Kade a sensible answer, without revealing anything that Jai shouldn’t know.
I wasn’t even sure if Kade had managed to figure out what had gone wrong.
I could explain the details to him later, but I’d have to wait until Jai wasn’t around.
The fact that Jai didn’t know I wasn’t his intended master was a whole other conundrum, which I firmly put out of my mind for the time being. Every time I thought about it, I felt a cold dread in my stomach, and I didn’t have anything like the energy I needed right now to sort through that mess.
“How about you?” I asked them both, fetching a beer out of the fridge. “How was your afternoon?”
“We talked a lot,” Kade said. “I was helping Jai understand what to expect on an Alliance planet. And I was wondering; would it be okay if he and I shared a bed one night? Just the two of us.”
That earned a raised eyebrow. So far, Jai had been as standoffish with Kade as he had been with me. And now they wanted to sleep together? Literally speaking, of course, but even so…
“Yeah, that should be fine,” I said. “I take it you made quite a bit of progress, then?”
Kade looked flustered for a moment, but then he said, “Could you excuse me for a moment, sir? I need to show Jai the next step in the process.”
“Yeah, sure,” I said, retreating to the dining table. “You go ahead.”
I waited while Kade drained the pasta, then explained to Jai how to add the beaten eggs and cheese. A few minutes later, Jai set a plate in front of me, taking his own seat on the opposite side of the table.
“Smells fantastic,” I said to Kade, as he sat down beside Jai. “So what about the rest of your afternoon?”
“Well, actually, we have some rather interesting news.” He paused and glanced at Jai, and then announced, “Jai and I decided to try blowing each other.”
In hindsight, I should have listened to his news before shoving a forkful of pasta into my mouth. As it was, I inhaled sharply… and then launched into the mother of all coughing fits as I realised I’d just tried to inhale pasta.
Kade leapt up, patting me on the back and apologising profusely. Jai pitched in as well, grabbing the roll of paper towels to clean up the mess I’d made by spitting my food out.
“I’m very sorry,” Kade said one last time, once I’d figured out how to breathe again and wiped the tears from my eyes. “Sorry about making you choke,” he clarified, with a glance Jai’s way. “Not sorry for blowing Jai.”
I took a slow, deep inhale – partly to make sure my lungs were still working, and partly to get a handle on my surprise.
“You blew each other?” I asked, thoroughly stunned by the news. “As in, you performed oral sex on each other?”
“Yes, sir,” Kade said, entirely cheerful about it as he returned to his seat. “You said we could, back when we were discussing buying Jai. You said that so long as we both agreed, we were allowed to have sex.”
“I remember,” I said, nodding. “I’m not upset about it. You didn’t break any rules or anything. I’m just… surprised.”
“I wished to experiment a little,” Jai said, and I was surprised all over again to find him joining in on the conversation.
“To see what I could do that would be the best way to serve you.” He glanced at Kade anxiously, who nodded.
I realised then that Kade had likely coached him through this conversation, informing him of the questions I might ask, and how he should respond.
Which was all well and good, except that even I didn’t know what questions I was supposed to ask.
I felt a brief flash of jealousy, that Kade had been able to work through Jai’s defences in a way that I hadn’t.
Not yet, at least. I also felt a shaft of disappointment that I hadn’t been around to see them getting naked together.
Both thoughts were quickly squashed. Jai needed comfort and security, and the fact that he’d been daring enough to start pushing the boundaries with Kade was a huge leap forward.
My ultimate goal was his health and wellbeing, and everything else in our relationship needed to flow from that.
“And this experiment was… successful?” I asked. I cautiously took a bite of food, hoping there were no new revelations that would interrupt my attempts to swallow.
“Very successful,” Kade said. “I simply allowed Jai to try out different things, to see what he was comfortable with. And he has a very talented tongue,” he added, with a look of clear enthusiasm.
“He did not attempt to deep throat me, and I would like to suggest that he might be more comfortable if he’s not expected to swallow in the near future. ”
The fact that Kade was making a point of it – even in the mildest and most non-confrontational terms – meant that I damn well needed to listen to the advice. Translation: Under no circumstances whatsoever should I insist that Jai swallow.
“Thank you. That’s very informative,” I said. “And Jai? Did you enjoy being on the receiving side of things?”
That, apparently, was a question they hadn’t anticipated.
In general, asking a dimari what they enjoyed was a bad idea.
They got flustered and started spouting rote answers about wanting to serve their masters.
But Jai had also been behaving in an unconventional enough way that I decided to risk it.
He stared at me blankly, then glanced at Kade, then I saw a flutter of violet cross his collarbones. “Uh, I… Yes, sir. I…” He glanced at Kade again. “Kade is very talented.”
“That he is,” I agreed, putting my hand over Kade’s, where it rested on the table.
“Well, I’m glad you had fun. And just to reiterate, you’re both allowed to explore any kind of sexual experience together, on condition that you both freely agree to it.
I know I’ve said that to Kade in the past, but I don’t think I’ve said it directly to you, Jai. ”
“Thank you, sir,” he said, his eyes fixed on the table. “That’s… uh… very generous.”
Half an hour later, once the meal was finished and the kitchen was clean, Kade found me in the living room.
“Could I speak to you privately, sir?” he asked, his tone diffident.
“I thought perhaps I should know more about your afternoon with Sora. In case there’s any way I can assist.” Once again, the request was carefully phrased.
It was a suggestion, not an order, though even asking that much would violate a lot of dimari’s behavioural codes.
“Yeah, absolutely,” I agreed, getting up from my seat. “Let’s go into the bedroom.”
Once the door was closed, I turned to Kade, prepared to explain the details of the afternoon… but before I could get a word out, he spoke.
“Sir, I know it’s important to talk about Sora.
But I also need to tell you something about Jai.
” He looked almost panic stricken, his voice kept deliberately low, and I wondered what had happened that was so urgent.
Jai had seemed in a better mood than I’d seen him before, and they’d both presented a positive story about their afternoon activities.
“We discussed a number of things this afternoon, and it seems that Jai has figured out that you were not his intended master. But it’s also not that simple,” he rushed on, before I could say anything.
I felt my gut lurch, at the same time as feeling very confused.
That sort of news could completely destabilise a dimari – as I’d seen up close and personal with Sora – but Jai had seemed almost cheerful at times.
“Zeke and Dax both told him various bits of information that Jai has put together and decided it means that you were not the man who asked for him to be trained the way he was. Zeke told him a not-entirely-accurate story about how the same thing happened to me; my intended master asked for me to be trained a certain way, but died before they could buy me. Then you saw me being advertised and decided I would be a good investment. It’s a rather twisted version of the real truth, but I had to consider that…
Well, that it solves both the immediate problems. Jai knows that you’re not responsible for the suffering he’s had to endure, and yet he also thinks that you still chose him deliberately.
He asked why you would choose an erotic companion, when you clearly don’t need one, and I was rather put on the spot, so I said it was more like a nice perk to go with the combat skills, rather than something we were actively looking for.
That’s how we ended up blowing each other.
He’s a lot more willing to explore what types of sex might be workable for him, now that he understands that you didn’t have anything to do with his original training. ”
Kade fell silent, wringing his hands apprehensively, and the first thing I had to consider was that having to come up with sensible answers to Jai’s questions had probably been hellishly stressful for him.
“Okay, first of all,” I said, putting my hands on his shoulders, “thank you so much for going along with Jai’s assumptions, and from the sounds of it, making some very sensible decisions about how to handle it.
I wish I’d been here to help you deal with it.
“Following on from that, though, I did notice that his attitude seemed a hell of a lot better this afternoon. Even after we got home from Zeke’s place, he didn’t immediately turn black again when we walked in the door.
And I’m honestly quite relieved to know the cause of it.
” I felt my shoulders slump in relief. “And if he knows I’m not responsible for his training, then hopefully we can make a lot more progress in learning to trust each other.
All things considered, that’s a fantastic outcome.
“Which brings us back to Sora,” I said, feeling a little of the weight of responsibility return.
“I’m not sure if you figured this out, but Sora found out his master didn’t buy him.
One of the other pilots was mouthing off and let slip what the real story is.
I spent the better part of the afternoon talking Sora down.
It was a lot of work and we went in circles for a while.
He eventually seemed to accept the idea that his master values his skills and wants to keep him, so I sent them home with a prescription for a lot of praise for Sora and plenty of sex.
It’s about as messy as these things ever get, but I’m hopeful that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. ”
I sat down on the end of the bed, then flopped back onto the sheets, my hands over my eyes.
“When we got back from Zeke’s place, I was all set to tell Jai everything.
Zeke seemed to think it was a sound idea, he was fairly convinced that Jai would take it well.
And I suppose I’d convinced myself that it was worth the risk.
But then seeing Sora, and how desperate he felt about the whole thing…
I don’t think I can now. Particularly if he’s already got a story to believe that means he can relax and start to trust us.
” I looked up at Kade, from my horizontal position, once more hoping that he might magically know the right answer.
Kade sat down beside me and put a hand on my thigh. “I think we’re in a good place now,” he said. “Perhaps we should just leave things as they are, give it some time, and see how Jai goes? If things aren’t working out, we can always review it again later.”
I nodded, desperately wanting to just curl up and go to sleep. “Yeah, sounds good,” I agreed. “One thing at a time, right?” At least now, we might have bought ourselves some time to figure the rest of it out.