CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
JAI
Kade scowled at me as I relayed the story of the fight with the pirates over breakfast the following morning. “I got taken out by a sheet of metal, and you got to fight space pirates? How is that fair?”
Beside me, my master snorted. “Let’s not start squabbling over who got to have more fun on their mission,” he said, his tone scolding, but his expression amused. “There’ll be plenty more space pirates another day.”
Meanwhile, most of the soldiers on the rescue mission had been given today off – firstly as a thank you for the risks we’d taken, but also to make sure we were all taking care of our mental health.
The military base had a number of counsellors on staff, available for any of the soldiers to make use of if they felt they needed a little extra support.
It was reassuring to see that the Alliance took the psychological health of their soldiers just as seriously as their physical health.
“Something else Henderson mentioned,” my master added, as we continued our breakfast, “is that he’d be very interested in having you train some of our soldiers in the techniques you were using on that mission – not just the fighting, but how you think about strategy.
I’m not talking new recruits, either. I mean he wants you teaching some of the seasoned soldiers.
There were details you were noticing that the rest of us missed, and he wants to know a hell of a lot more about Eumadian training methods.
Kade, you’ll probably get dragged into that as well, at some point. ”
“One of the details he should be aware of,” I pointed out, “is that Vangravians can see more of the ultraviolet range of light than humans can. That’s not something anyone can be trained to do. That’s just biology.”
My master nodded. “I’m sure we’ll need to talk more about the details. For now, I’m just giving you the heads up about the idea.”
We continued eating, but as the meal drew to a close, I was aware of my master sitting rather stiffly in his chair, and of the way he kept shooting wary glances Kade’s way.
I wanted to call him out on it, but after spending so long being antagonistic, and then my very recent revelations about the far more genial nature of my master, I wasn’t sure how to phrase my concerns without seeming rude.
I wanted very much to prove to my master that I was now far more cooperative than I had been before.
“Sir?” I tried eventually, as he set his plate aside and picked up his mug to finish his coffee. I was concerned that if I didn’t say something now, the opportunity would be lost.
“Hm?” he said, turning my way.
“I was wondering, sir, if there’s something concerning you? You seem rather tense, though you’ve also said we have the day off. Is there a problem?”
My master glanced at Kade again, then sighed and set down his mug.
“It’s not a problem, as such. But there is something I’m a little concerned about,” he admitted.
“You told me yesterday that you know I didn’t buy you.
Jai is fully aware of the fact that he was found, not bought,” he added, speaking to Kade.
“And he’s totally fine with that, just to be clear about it. ”
Kade looked surprised by the announcement, but not overly alarmed.
“That revelation has clearly had quite an impact on your expectations of me and of this planet,” my master went on. “I’m very glad you’re feeling more comfortable, and I’m genuinely looking forward to getting to know you better.”
I couldn’t help a bashful smile at that one. The idea of my master truly wanting to know who I was was a new and enticing prospect.
“And we’ve dealt with the whole issue of solo missions – that being to say that the Alliance generally doesn’t allow its soldiers to go off alone, or in the rare cases it’s necessary, we still try to provide as much backup as possible.
Which I hope has made you feel a lot more secure in your role here. ”
I nodded, pleased when Kade grinned at me as well.
“But that does leave one rather significant issue, and I’m not entirely sure how to approach it.
That issue is that you weren’t just trained as a combat specialist. You were also trained as an erotic companion.
And yet, in the same way as you had aversions to solo missions, you have some fairly serious aversions to certain aspects of your sexual training.
I am absolutely not,” he rushed on, before I could reply, “trying to convince you to participate in any activities that you find unpleasant. But the problem I have is that you seem to find the vast majority of sexual activity unpleasant, at the same time as… well, to be perfectly frank, I’ve long considered sex to be one of the primary methods of rewarding a dimari.
The most important method, unless I’m sorely misunderstanding something.
So I don’t know how to appropriately reward you and show you that I value having you here. ”
My master’s words sank in, and I found myself completely baffled by the sentiment he was expressing.
He hadn’t asked me which sexual activities I could tolerate.
He hadn’t attempted to bribe me into complying.
He hadn’t suggested some low level activities to ‘ease me into it’.
He had asked, plainly and bluntly, how to make me feel appreciated.
I glanced at Kade, unsure what to make of the question, and even more uncertain about how to answer it.
“You could suggest certain sexual activities that you could still enjoy,” Kade prompted me, as he picked up on my confusion. “Or you could suggest something that’s nothing at all to do with sex. Food. Excursions to interesting places. The opportunity to sleep in, in the morning.”
I looked back at my master, at his hopeful, patient expression…
and suddenly, a few major pieces of the puzzle clicked into place.
“There are certain activities I dislike, because I found them painful or strenuous,” I told him.
“But a much larger part of the problem was that I…” I paused, making sure to choose my words carefully, so that I both expressed myself clearly, but at the same time, wasn’t inadvertently rude.
“I found it distasteful that I had to bring pleasure to my master, when I was convinced at that point that he would never care about me.” I felt yet another sloppy smile lift the corners of my mouth, and I was aware that I’d made that same expression a dozen or more times over the last day.
Not even a week ago, I’d been disparaging Dax for wearing that same expression, for being so pleased about making his master happy.
And now, here I was, doing the exact same thing.
“The greater problem has been solved. You’ve proven yourself to be…” I paused again, a little shocked that I was audacious enough to say what I wanted to say next. “…very much the sort of man I would like to bring pleasure to.”
My master’s cheeks turned pink, while Kade seemed to be doing an admirable job of trying not to laugh.
“There are still things I would find unpleasant, but perhaps…” I glanced at Kade, hoping that he’d back me up on the idea I had, and also protect me from my own rash decisions. “Perhaps we could start slowly and try a few things, and see how they turn out?”
“One of the things Aiden has made very clear to me,” Kade jumped in, before my master could reply, “is that he has no desire to ever press for sexual services if I’m not feeling well – either with illness, or with injuries.
Muscle strains, or headaches and the like.
Perhaps that’s something it would be worth reviewing with Jai?
” he said, raising a rather imperious eyebrow in my master’s direction.
“Absolutely, yes,” my master agreed. “Jai, if I ever ask you for anything sexual and you’re not feeling well, I’d like you to tell me immediately.
Or, if I ever do anything that causes you any pain, I’d also like you to tell me straight away.
My intention is never to hurt you, but accidental mistakes can happen. ”
I frowned at them both, not sure I was understanding the message they were trying to convey.
“So,” Kade reiterated, “if you ever experience any type of muscle strain during sex, you can alert our master to the issue, and he’ll stop immediately.”
My master nodded, confirming Kade’s claim.
I sat still, pondering the meaning of his words for a moment.
I’d suffered moderate, or even severe injuries during my training, and that hadn’t stopped me performing my duties.
It was nice to know that my master didn’t want to harm me, but a simple muscle strain was hardly cause to create such a fuss.
So why was there such an emphasis on this?
And how did it help, anyway? If my master ordered me to do something sexual, I was still going to be compelled to obey…
Oh. Oh! I sat up abruptly, my gaze snapping across to Kade’s face as I realised what he – what they both – were saying. “So… if I happen to have a muscle cramp in the middle of sex,” I said carefully, “than you would simply stop? Immediately?”
“Immediately,” my master said.
Seeing that I now understood the situation, Kade grinned.
Talk about a loophole made in heaven! If I disliked anything my master did to me sexually, all I had to do was invent some minor complaint about a strained muscle, and the session would end.
I had a multitude of questions about this, but asking Kade to explain all the nuances of the provision was going to have to wait until our master wasn’t here.
For all that he was the one setting the rules, there were some things one simply did not discuss in front of their master.
“That sounds like a delightful arrangement,” I said, stunned and baffled all over again.
How in all the heavens had I managed to end up in such a wonderful place?
“Right at the moment, however, I’m not feeling any ill effects at all.
So perhaps it would be worth taking advantage of the opportunity to explore my excellent physical health.
” By the stars, had I actually just said that? I must have lost my mind.