Chapter 14
Arnie
I bang on his door to no avail. I knock on a few other doors, but no one knows Jamie. One kid shrugs and says the quiet guy in the room at the end of the hall hasn’t appeared for days.
I’m worried that his family may have contacted him.
He didn’t tell me exactly why he left his family home, but from the flinching look he gave me that night in my house when we spoke about Dom types, I think I can guess why he left. Intention never to go back.
Surely, he wouldn’t have packed up and left with them without telling the university or Simmons? My worry takes over, and I pound the door again, calling his name until another student opens their door and tells me to shut the fuck up.
I wave an apologetic salute to them as they slam the door. What do I do now? What if he is in there unconscious…or worse?
As I stand on the other side of God knows what, I decide that enough is enough.
Given no choice other than to break his door in, I hold on to either side of the frame and boot the slab of wood until it breaks.
I stumble to a stop inside a tiny, bleak room.
Wood chips dance their way to the floor as I scan around for life of Jamie.
Patting around the wall beside me, I find the light switch, flicking it on.
I find him lying heaped under some heavy blankets. My stomach knots at the sight of him in here in the dark alone. Thank God I’ve finally got eyes on him though.
I’ve found him. I can keep him safe with me. Choosing to analyze my thoughts on keeping him safe later, I assess the situation by looking him over for signs of harm.
He’s sweaty, and his skin is flushed and hot to the touch. Looking around, there doesn’t seem to be a window, and the heavy blankets aren't helping. But otherwise, he seems okay, just in a deep sleep.
“Jamie, can you hear me? What happened?”
Shuffling closer, I kneel by the bed and reach for his hands. What the—? I look down and realise I’m kneeling in old, dried in sick. The smell radiates my way thanks to the heat.
I hold back a gag and throw a t-shirt already on the floor on top of it, since I can’t clean it up right now.
I shake Jamie’s shoulder lightly to wake him again.
He looks gaunt, but not unwell. Like he’s been through something stressful.
He lies in his dorm bed that looks far too small for his frame, in nothing but his shorts. He looks so fragile, and with the sick by the bed, panic sets in that he might have taken something.
“Jamie. Jamie. I need you to wake up. Have you taken something?”
Rubbing small circles into his shoulders, I try to be loud enough for him to hear me without it turning into a panicked yell. I tap my toes inside my boots to ground myself. Jamie needs me right now, and I can’t let my worry take over what he needs from me.
He stirs, opening his eyes slightly to take me in. They are bloodshot and haunted, which only adds to my concern.
“Oh,” he states with a sleepy slur before closing his eyes again. “Thought you were him.”
“Who Jamie? It’s me, Arnie. You’re okay. Wake up and tell me what happened.”
But he ignores me, rolling away to face the stone wall.
I ache to wrap my arms around him, breathe in his scent and promise him it’s all going to be okay. But if I want to help him, I need a plan here since he won’t talk to me. I scan the room and see his phone on the floor by his jeans.
It’s dead, which I knew it would be. Finding the charger on the wall by the bed, I plug it in and then set about coaxing Jamie into getting up and dressed.
He hasn’t showered since he was in my bathroom on Sunday, if the stale smell in the tiny room is anything to go by.
“Come on, Jamie, let’s get in the shower. You can’t stay in bed all day.”
As I reach over to tug him towards me, he rolls over himself. Tears threaten to spill out of his pretty eyes, his chin wobbling from holding back the intense emotion that looks ready to burst. His shadowy grey eyes finally meet my gaze.
I sit on the bed and pull him until he’s on my lap. He melts into me; his head burrowed into my neck.
I massage circles as I grip his waist, whispering encouragement as he breaks his heart against me. My eyes well in response.
It’s heart-renching to watch him like this. I want to ward off whoever caused it. My blood boils as he gulps in breaths to regulate himself, and eventually his rapid chest slows down.
“I…it’s my…” he tries to say, hiccupping throughout.
“Shh. Shh. Let’s get washed up first, Jamie, then you can tell me everything. I’m here to help you. Whatever it is. I promise.”
I barely recognise my voice as I make that promise. I’ve been on my own for so long. For a long time, I’ve only considered myself. Only looking out for my needs or close circles.
Jamie has broken something in me. Unsure if it’s a bad thing, I tuck it away for now.
I manage to cover him with a bathrobe and grab his shower caddy before making our way to the showers. His head rests against my shoulder as we walk, a passive look on his face, as if he’s away in another world.
What happened to this poor boy?
It’s thankfully empty when we reach the showers. I help him undress from the robe and his shorts. He looks so frail, like he’s lost a lot of weight, despite it only being a couple of days since he was bent over my desk, taking his punishment from me.
He doesn’t even try to stand, sliding down the white tiles to the floor, wrapping his arms around his knees to his chest. I can’t stand to see him like this. His usual bouncy curls are now dull and cover his fear crossed face.
He wipes at the tears on his cheeks with a shaky hand before muttering, “You can leave. I’ll be fine.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Jamie; you’re in no fit state to be alone. Let me help you get cleaned up then. If you still want, I’ll leave.”
He takes a moment; his chin dipped to his chest with his eyes closed before he nods just once.
Removing my t-shirt to avoid getting it wet, I step into the stall with him. As I grab the fresh bar of soap from his caddy, I notice little lavender plants adorning the wrapping. I lather it under the water before crouching down, starting with his arms. I wash him as tenderly as I can.
I get him standing when I do his lower half. Making sure to only wash him intimately until he’s clean and no more. None of this is about control. It’s about care. And right now, Jamie needs someone who won’t make him flinch.
I turn off the water before it gets cold, bundling him up in a towel, then walk him back to his room as quickly as I can with him under my arm. Despite his trembling embrace, he won’t utter a word.
“Jamie, can you tell me what’s going on? I only want to help.” I place him on the bed’s edge, then kneel between his legs as I start to dress him in the clean clothes I found in the single drawer he has.
His lips part and his breath hitches. I stay frozen in place, scared that if I speak, he’ll shut down again. Then, barely above a whisper, he lets me in.
“My stepdad…he’s found me. Told the university that I’m leaving and dropping out. He’s coming for me. Arnie, he’s coming— “
The sobs rip through him as he loses himself again to the pain that his body shakes against me with. If I ever have the displeasure of meeting this stepdad, he’ll regret ever laying a hand on my boy. He deserves to be torn limb from limb for the trauma he has caused.
“I won’t allow that, Jamie. You hear me.”
I take his jaw with my thumb and forefinger, lifting his gaze to mine. I trace his lips with my thumb before placing a chaste kiss on his temple.
“He might be coming. But he’s going home empty-handed. Let’s get packed. You’re coming home with me.”
Jamie looks stunned. The sweet smell of lavender penetrates my senses as he sits speechless, holding on to my forearms so tight his knuckles are white. His cherry lips wet with fresh droplets from his damp ringlet hair.
I worry he’ll say no after already telling me to leave in the shower. That he might not have the strength like last time when he ran from his past nightmares, but he surprises me with a nod. That’s when I see the flicker of a flame inside him.
The one that tells me he’s not giving up. Not by a long shot.