Chapter 17
Jamie
Boredom. All-consuming as I watch the ceiling from my snug bed.
It’s been two weeks since I got to Arnie’s home and without my coursework, dancing or even a visit to the campus coffee stand, I am so goddamn bored.
I consider my options for the afternoon, but having already binged episodes of Buffy all morning and then some nosing around Arnie’s garden to see what he grows; I was all but out of ideas that didn’t include my dick.
I think of the homework Arnie set out for me. Some guys at Cheeks have been so kind to me. They frequently ask me for drinks after work or when we know we have a free night, but I had always assumed it was them just being nice and not actually wanting to sit in my company.
There are five dancers, including me. I guess I could go in before the shift starts tonight and maybe speak with them and be friendly. I just hope they haven’t given up hope on me becoming friends with them yet.
Then, a filthy thought comes thundering to the forefront of my brain as I finger the orange sheets on the bed. I wonder.
Arnie insisted on no scenes, which he has rigidly stuck to. But he said nothing about not seducing or flirting with him.
I jump up and rifle through my clothes, getting ready and shooting off a text to Beau to let him know I’ll be coming in tonight. He asks if I’m sure, but I am so fed up of watching Sarah Michelle Gellar kick vampire butt and usually, I could watch that cheesy shit all day.
I text Arnie letting him know I’d left for work to get a start on my homework.
A tiny part of me hoping he will be proud of my initiative and I go ahead with my plan by offering him to meet me there after he finishes up at the uni for a drink.
He doesn’t respond straight away, but I head out the door and to the bus stop without waiting.
I want to prove to him I am ready for something again. That I want another scene. Let him tell me what to do and guide me so I can learn to please him. I’d dance for him, let him spank me. Hell, if it meant tasting him again, I’d do anything.
Despite a lingering sense of unease about Jed, I’m determined not to let fear paralyze me.
I sent Christian a voice message about it all once I’d had a couple of days to recuperate first. He responded that he would see if he could get any information out of our mom without her finding out he had been in contact with me.
I owe him a lot for keeping my location a secret from her.
He didn’t have to get in the middle of all my shit, but he did.
It makes me sad I haven’t seen him for so long, but I know how busy his life is.
It was my choice to run and stay miles away, so I've never held anything against him.
With Arnie’s support, I've felt a massive weight lift from my shoulders over the situation. He pulls out a strength in me I didn’t know I had.
Just having him take over the stuff that had me in a chokehold made me feel lighter. Shouldn’t I want to be an adult and take care of my own mess?
I didn’t want him thinking I was taking advantage of his kindness since I barely fought him on it when he offered to do it all. But Arnie just makes me feel safe and cared for. It’s his fault for making me like this, and I’ll tell him that to his face if he ever brings it up.
I hop off the bus with a renewed spring in my step from thinking of all the ways Arnie has helped me this past month.
I've decided to get to Cheeks a few hours before opening to chat with the dancers. They go early and bring snacks or games. I’m usually running late or avoiding them. So they don’t find out how pathetic I am in the real world beyond the pole.
But Arnie was right. I’ve been here three years, and I need to open myself up to friendships and new things if I ever want to be the best version of myself.
When I enter, a few of them are crammed together at a table near the stage. I give them a little smile and wave, unsure if they will even greet me. Raj sees me first, though, and smiles, all teeth on show as he waves a hello, forcing the other two to turn and acknowledge me.
I take a large breath and hold it to ground myself. Then I head towards them, putting my bag on the floor as I take a seat next to Raj.
I can do this. They won’t bite.
“Hey, thought you were ill?” Raj asks with a concerned look.
“Oh yeah, I’m feeling better and didn’t want to miss out on Thirsty Thursdays, y’know?” I say sheepishly.
“Well, Tanner bailed to take care of his niece again, so you can move your time up. None of us can take it,” Jordan suggests with a shrug as he plays a game on his phone.
“Oh, yeah, that would be incredible. I kind of have a friend coming to see me at opening so that would stop him from hanging about too long, I guess.”
“A guy? Like a boyfriend?” Raj asks, his excitement obvious as he dances his nails on the table.
“Not quite a boyfriend, but I am staying with him a while. He’s friends with the owners of Corricks,” I confess, trying to keep from spilling my whole life in the last month to them.
“Arnie?” Frankie asks, his eyebrows high as he invests himself in the conversation.
“Yeah, you know him?”
“No, but I’ve seen him at Corricks and heard from Mags that he is all man,” he exclaims as he trails his fingers up and down his torso seductively.
I laugh at that, and it feels good. Why have I been avoiding people all this time? After just a few minutes with these guys, I feel better and happier too.
“Well... I actually wanted to dance for him tonight,” I admit, chewing on my bottom lip.
“Oh my god, that’s so cute! Are you wearing anything special for him? Are you doing it on the main stage or in a room?” Raj asks enthusiastically.
I hadn’t thought that far. I had an idea to surprise him by coming out dressed for him, a gift to say thank you. But now I’m realising that if I got him into a private room, then it would be more intimate, and I could thank him up close.
Loving this new idea, I decide to just go for it.
“I have something here to wear; I just need to find it and I think.... a private room?” I say to them all as they sit listening to my idea.
“Well come and show us what you’re wearing. Tell Josh your plans and he’ll make sure Arnie gets put in room 2 with a drink when he arrives,” Frankie tells me.
“I’ll make it room 4. I’m not wearing gold for him.”
That gets a gasp from Raj as he pulls my hand into his and leads me backstage to the dressing room area.
“Before you got here, I was planning on doing some henna on myself, but can I do it to you instead? I promise it will look stunning on your skin and Arnie will love it too,” Raj tells me with a wink.
“I... isn’t that for weddings?” I ask him. It’s a bit embarrassing, but I had no idea men used henna.
“Well, yeah, usually. In fact, my aunt would kill me if she saw me doing this for fun. But mehndi’s an art too. I used to doodle designs on my sister’s hands while we watched cartoons.”
“Well, I wouldn’t want to get between you and your love for doodles,” I chuckle, unsure what else to say.
“Right, you go sit on that cushion and I’ll go grab my stuff,” Raj commands me, then takes off to where his little employee nook is.
“Do I have free rein?” He points to my hands as he opens his fold-out table.
I offer him my palms. “Go for it.” Raj grins like an evil villain with a plan for world domination.
As the cool paste traces its way across my skin, I watch the design unfold.
Each palm adorned with a mandala, a lotus flower in the centre.
Raj makes his way up my wrists and designs thick, scalloped bracelet cuffs.
To finish, he paints each of my fingers with tiny line work and dots, arches and scallops.
It’s so beautiful and intricate. I can’t help but see it not just as a decoration, but as something that carries weight, a memory.
When he is done, he sets the cone down and pulls my hands into his own to inspect his work up close.
“Okay, this is supposed to be left on for a minimum of 6 hours , but your man will be here in just a few,” he announces, eyeing the ancient clock on the wall. “It won’t be dark, but it will still look unreal.”
“I guess I’m getting the diet version,” I reply, which makes Raj laugh unexpectedly. Homework complete. I made a genuine friend in Raj and can’t wait to show off for Arnie when he arrives at Cheeks later.