Chapter 17
JAHNVI
“L et me go, Everett,” I said softly. I had said those same words a few days ago too.
Back when he’d gripped my arms and demanded an answer to why I hadn’t partnered up with him.
His question made h im seem childish, I’ll admit it.
It was immature of him to get mad that I hadn’t partnered up with him for a basic lit project.
But we both knew there was so much more behind that seemingly simple question.
Right now, too, there was something more going on.
“Can you escape me right now, Jahnvi?” he asked again. I could feel his breath on my lips. It was such a pleasurable feeling, and there was nothing more that I wanted to do than reach up on my toes and close the gap between his lips and mine.
Like he had done last year.
Stop. Everett James is off-limits. You can go for anyone but him.
In a sudden bout of defiance, I tried to bring my arms down.
But as I could’ve easily predicted, I couldn’t move even a centimeter.
I tried again, grunting a little. But then, his vise-like hands tightened.
That’s when I noticed he was holding back.
He wasn’t even showing his entire strength as he held me up; he had so much more packed into him.
Oh, but ‘tighten’ makes it seem like I regretted his hands there. It made it seem like I wanted to get him off me.
And that was the last thing I wanted.
“You know the answer,” I muttered. “How am I supposed to fight off a six-foot giant?”
He smiled, glad he’d won our little argument.
Just as I felt the pressure of his hands lessen, I grabbed his hands with mine and intertwined them.
“What are you—”
I dropped our knotted hands down so that my hands were resting at their usual level, which forced him to bend down a bit. We were eye level.
“The question I have for you now, Everett,” I whispered back to him, “is why do you even care? Why are you so bothered over the fact that I snuck out tonight?”
The sudden shift seemed to take him by surprise, but as usual, he recovered quickly. “Because you’re stupid, Jahnvi. You’re stupid, and you need someone looking out for you before you get kidnapped.”
“Why does it have to be you?”
“I guess your parents aren’t doing an amazing job if you’re out here at midnight.”
“Well, your parents—” I immediately cut myself off, realizing what I had just said. Oh, shit, shit, shit, why did I say that? I let go of his hands. “I-I’m so sorry. Really, Everett. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say that.”
He stared at me for a while, an unreadable expression on his face.
When he spoke, his words were quiet and controlled.
“You’re very lucky, Jahnvi. You have people surrounding you that love you more than anything.
People who would be willing to drive you places and get you things.
Don’t make them worry about where you are at any time.
Does that—” He suddenly yanked me toward him.
“Oof!” I thudded against him, my grunt muffled by his white turtleneck sweater. I saw something out of the corner of my eye—a beam of light.
Shoot, the old security guard must have heard us or something.
And that’s when the fear hit.
Yeah, I’d been there before after the library closed.
I used to volunteer at the library last year and noticed that the locks for one of the doors didn’t work.
And when my printer crashed the evening before an important paper was due, I decided to break into the library.
In hindsight, I’m sure it was never that serious, but at that time, it seemed like my only solution.
It was stupid, I know, but I’d been occasionally sneaking out to the library since then.
Once my parents were asleep, I’d sometimes crawl out my window and jump down onto the lawn.
Our house wasn’t that tall, so it wasn’t a big jump at all.
Then, I walked to the library and skimmed books all night.
It’s something I reserved only for those really stressful nights, like the most recent ones when someone had been causing me to question all my feelings and emotions toward them.
And I hadn’t been caught. Yet. But that security guard was getting too close.
Would this show up on my permanent record? I already committed to a college; would they rescind my acceptance because of this? My parents would murder me!
Would I have to work at the restaurant for the rest of my life? I couldn’t do that!
As I heard heavy footsteps and saw the beam of light getting closer to me, I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder.
I had been standing out and exposed before Everett had pulled me into the adult nonfiction row.
We were hidden for now, but soon we’d be exposed if the security guard kept walking and looked our way.
Everett put a finger against his lips and I held my breath. Not being able to contain my fear anymore, I whipped around and buried my face in Everett’s chest. I latched my arms around his waist and squeezed out all my fear, digging my face further into the soft yarn of his sweater.
For a second, his smell was almost overwhelming.
The warm wood and vanilla, old-closet nostalgic scent flooded my senses. It definitely helped my heart rate slow, and it turned my brain fuzzy.
Everett James smells really good.
And his chest was so nice and comforting. I buried my nose even further than I thought possible and took a nice long whiff—
Wait. His chest?
His chest?
Oh my god, what was I doing? I immediately tried to let go of him. Well, tried was the key word there. I couldn’t let go of him. Why couldn’t I let go of him? It wasn’t because I didn’t want to; my face was burning with embarrassment already that I was still latched onto him like a leech.
It was because he had brought his arms up around me.
He was holding me close.
One of his arms had slowly found its way to a spot below my neck, and his other hand was on my lower back. He was holding me very lightly. It was a world away from the way I was squeezing him like an empty tube of toothpaste. His hands just rested on my back; I barely felt them through my cardigan.
It was like he was new at this too. Like he was being cautious.
I heard the crunch of the security guard’s boots. Was it just me or had he just turned into the row and headed right toward our hiding spot? Had he figured out we were here?
I gripped the scratchy yarn of his sweater to keep from screaming under the pressure. I sucked a breath in—
—only to get it stuck in my throat.
What was that in my hair?
The realization startled me—Everett was touching my hair. The hand below my neck had moved to touch the little curly baby hairs around the base of my neck and around my ear. He smoothed them out and wrapped them around his finger. I sucked in a heavy breath.
I was now more concerned about Everett than the security guard.
I was more aware of his hands setting fire to the portion of my skin he touched than the heavy thumps of the guard’s feet.
I was more aware of how his chest rose and fell as he breathed than how we were about to get caught sneaking into a public building.
I was more aware of the fact that I was intertwined with Everett of all people than the fact that the security guard was moving away from us.
Wait, moving away from us?
Yes, I’d heard right! I could hear the soft jingle of keys and see the beam of light get softer as he walked away. I sighed in relief, waiting a moment before softly giggling in the ecstasy of not being caught.
The pressure lifted off my shoulders immediately, and I looked up with a smile at Everett.
We were still tangled together. I was still holding him tight, and he was still holding me like I was porcelain.
My breath caught one more time when I looked up at him.
With one last look back toward the security guard, he looked down at me. And then his face morphed into a smile. He started laughing quietly. These were the laughs where his eyes completely closed and his whole body shook.
“Woah!” I was silently laughing so hard that I tumbled over and dragged him down with me.
We toppled sideways. Everett grabbed me and used his elbows to break our fall and make sure we weren’t too loud.
He let me go when we were both on the ground.
The security guard was long gone now , so no one heard us.
The fall only made us laugh harder.
I covered my mouth so that I wasn’t too loud while Everett was still silently shaking with laughter. Once I was out of breath and my stomach felt ready to burst, I looked over at Everett, who was already looking at me.
And we burst out laughing again.