Chapter 25
JAHNVI
E verett let me go and took two steps away so I could see him. The sudden withdrawal of his warmth made me hug my arms, but I needed to see him when he spoke. I think he knew that too.
A corner of his mouth tugged up, but there was something just so...sad in his eyes. “Jahnvi,” he muttered, not like a question but like a statement. A prayer. A plea.
“Everett.”
He nodded, taking a deep breath. “Jahnvi, if anyone’s a loser it’s me. I...I can’t...” He trailed off like it was physically hurting him to speak. Hell, maybe it was. His emotions were always so buried in him.
But he was digging them out for me. Because he cared for me.
Because he liked me. He had said so.
“Jahnvi, tonight you can go home and your parents will be ready to make you a warm dinner and kiss your forehead. I go home? It’s cold and I need to make sure my grandma hasn’t forgotten what year it is.
You can call your relatives before you go to sleep and see your close group of friends the next day.
You’re so... loved, Jahnvi. And I don’t think you understand how lucky you are to get that love.
What people would give to be like you. What.
..I would give. So, yeah, I go around talking to every girl.
There’s nothing cool about it, I’m practically begging for a minute of their time so I don’t go crazy.
I befriend every annoying-ass guy so maybe they’ll invite me over and I can spend one evening pretending I’m not so alone in this world. It’s fucked up, I know, Pickles.”
Oh. Oh my god.
“Everett, you know you have me, us —”
“And I can’t fuck that up, can I?” He crossed his arms, still looking at me intensely, “You’re.
..all I have. You and my grandma. What if I mess it up?
What if I make you mad and you decide to never talk to me again?
I can’t let that happen, Jahnvi. So, I distract myself.
Girls like your friend Rose are nice, but they aren’t you .
So, I break up with them when it becomes too serious.
That makes me a shitty person, doesn’t it?
Maybe I am, but I feel like I have no other choice. But I think I’ve come to a conclusion.”
“Yeah?” I asked, wanting nothing more than to reach out and touch him.
“Yeah.” He smiled and nodded. “I don’t think I can...keep going on like this. I think I’m going to stop listening to my head. Fuck it.” He took a step toward me.
“Fuck it,” I agreed. My face felt like it was boiling, and I could hear my heart. “I don’t think I’ve been listening to my heart for a while now, either. You’re worth it, Everett.”
His smile grew. “You’re worth it all, Jahnvi. Worth it all.” He took another step toward me, but his arms were still crossed. Even though I was within touching distance, he held himself back. Jesus, I could see him fighting his restraint in his eyes.
But he was waiting for me.
I licked my lips nervously, a sudden bout of shyness making me look away from his face. Him kissing me was something, but me—
I startled. His hand was on my chin, gently turning my face to his. His eyes pleading, he whispered, “Kiss me, please?”
Goosebumps erupted all over my skin.
Smiling, I leaned over to his right cheek and gave him a quick peck. “This what you want?”
He groaned softly. “On the lips; kiss me on my lips, Jahnvi.”
His lips...
I raised my hand and let my fingertips softly caress his lips.
They were the softest thing I’d ever touched.
They parted at my touch, silently begging me.
I looked up into his dark eyes, his expression almost pleading with me.
I felt some primal satisfaction rush through me.
I had caused that. I was the one he liked. I was going to kiss him.
“If I kiss you,” I whispered against him, “you have to promise me something.”
“Anything,” he rasped.
“I’ll be the only girl afterward, okay? No more half liking me and someone else. I’ll be the only one.”
He smiled. “You were always the only one for me, Pickles. Promise.”
With a final smile and brush of his lips, I leaned up and met his lips with mine. And that first step was all he needed. He quickly roped his arms around my waist, clutching me to him and I kissed and kissed and kissed him. He sighed on my lips, and I smiled against his. It was just so natural.
But I soon had to pull away for a gasp of air.
His grin was a meter long. “Well, that wasn’t too hard, was it?”
Another kiss was his answer.
The last time he’d kissed me, it was aggressive. I’d felt the need on his lips as he’d leaned into me. Not even having the time to close my eyes, he’d caught me by complete surprise, and I’d had to play catch-up. I had quickly kissed him back, but it was still different.
This...this was a whole world away.
I molded my lips to fit his instantly. After the initial anticipation, my body became loose and I relaxed into him.
He kept his hands PG. First, they touched my hair, tucking the loose ends behind my ear. Then, they traveled down to cup my cheeks for a little before trailing down my shoulder all the way to my hands. He then went back up to the top of my shoulder and traced my arm again.
And then, he did it again.
The trail his fingertips were taking against my arm was ablaze. My entire arm erupted in goosebumps and it was a shame when he moved his hand to gently rest on my waist.
I kept my hands on his chest, afraid that if I moved them then I’d lose balance and fall over. But that wasn’t enough for Everett of course. He moved his hand from my waist. I made some type of sound to protest, but then he placed his hand over mine.
He moved my hand to where he wanted it.
While his kisses were getting harder and more passionate slowly, he moved my hands into his hair.
I’d often watched his perfect hair from a distance but touching it was.
.. something completely different. His hair was so soft that I couldn’t help but entangle my hands in it, feeling every soft strand.
His lips were getting more needy.
I needed to take a breath, and he needed to do the same. I let him go for one second, gasping in a little bit of air before mashing myself against him again.
In the year and a half that it had been, I’d completely forgotten about how nice his lips tasted. I’d forgotten how much I had needed him, how much his lips made me feel something deep in my core.
I needed to show him how I felt, and words weren’t necessary.
I suddenly grabbed the neck of his sweater, yanking him even closer to me, closer than I had even thought was possible. He made some indiscernible sound of pleasure and kissed me even harder than I thought was possible.
He felt the same.
He needed me too.
And right now? He was showing me just how much he’d needed and missed me. His hands were back on my cheek, cupping me like I was the most precious thing he’d ever held.
I touched his neck, his arms, his chest . It sunk in that I was touching him , Everett James. I was in the arms of the boy that I had imagined kissing for years . And, with the way his lips moved, I could tell he had been imagining holding me for a while now too.
It made me smile.
Everett touched my elbow, signaling for me to stop. Out of breath, I stepped away from him to see the damage.
His chest was rising and falling rapidly like mine. Hair was tousled and his eyes were a little misty. He had a finger on his lips. His thumb was rubbing a circular pattern on his lips, and his eyes weren’t looking at my eyes.
He was watching my lips.
“Everett...Everett!”
“Hmm?” He blinked and looked back up at me.
I raised my eyebrows. “What are you looking at?”
He slowly grinned, thumb still on his bottom lip. He looked away from me sheepishly. “I dunno”
“You dunno ?” I repeated.
His smile grew wider and he looked back at me. He gave me a single look up and down before speaking. “You know, I’m not really in the mood for comprehensible thought.” He grabbed my waist and pulled me toward him gently. “But then again, you’ve always had that effect on me, so I’m not surprised.”
And then he kissed me again.