Chapter 38
JAHNVI
It was the longest minute, waiting for that small one t o replace the zero.
I wonder what Everett is — Nope, nope, nope. Not this!
When Everett had walked me back to my room and I had shut the door, I had promised myself I’d put him out of my mind.
It took two seconds for me to break that promise.
The image at that restaurant kept popping into my head as I changed into a ratty hoodie and sweats and took off my makeup.
His lopsided smile had fallen slightly when I told him to lay off on talking about us.
After paying for the meal even after my protests, he quietly stood up and we’d walked back to the hotel in silence, except for the quiet goodnight right before he left.
He’d left the food on the table.
Everett never wasted food. Either he eats it—all even if he pukes it all up (7th grade field trip to the aquarium)—or he packs it. I knew I had hurt him badly if he didn’t ask the waiter for a box.
With a groan, I sat up and rubbed my eyes.
With other guys I’d had crushes on, I was usually able to shut them down when it came to speech.
I could forget them easily. But that was the whole problem with Everett: I couldn’t forget him.
Besides, I was mad at him. How dare he get mad at me for dinner when he’d literally spent most of our first day in DC with some other girl.
Sure, maybe Evelyn was his best friend. Maybe they were super-duper close.
But how close is healthy?
Why would he miss out on something he had put his whole restaurant aside for just to talk to her?
The anger got me to my feet. I started pacing around my room aimlessly. Well, I thought it was aimless until my feet suddenly brought me to my door. Hell, I had even reached for the door handle before I understood what I was doing.
No. Fuck you, brain.
It would just be cruel at this point to see Everett. After I dismissed him at dinner? There was no way I was going to see him.
No.
Absolutely not.
I swore softly, hand resting on the door handle now. Stupid Everett James! I never liked him from the start, and I knew now that it was for a reason. And he was still annoying me. For a different reason now, granted.
But he was still making my heart beat loudly and my fingers clench into fists.
“Please, please, let’s just go back to sleep. You can pretend Everett is your pillow and you could beat it up to your heart’s desire,” I pleaded with myself one last time. But to no one’s surprise, it was no use. Stupid, stupid, Everett! I yanked open the door.
To find Everett still dressed in his clothes from earlier about to knock on my door.
“Holy fu—” He gasped and jumped back, startled so much that his back hit the wall of the hotel hallway. “Jahnvi, what is wrong with you? You scared the shit out of me,” he hissed.
I gasped and hissed back, “W-what’s wrong with me? Well, what’s wrong with you? Why the hell are you here? It’s all your fault!”
“My fault—?” But I didn’t give him a chance to finish. Yanking him by the wrist, I pulled him into my room and shut the door. I hadn’t turned the lights on, but it wasn’t an issue. I hadn’t shut the curtain the entire way so the light from the streetlamp was flooding into the room.
It illuminated Everett’s face in a bluish light.
I walked closer and pointed at him. “You...make me so mad Everett James! Sometimes, all I want is to grab that pretty neck of yours and...” I mimed choking him.
His eyes narrowed and he responded in a low voice. “Wowzers, Pickles. I didn’t know you were into that. I only came to return your purse.” I barely registered him throwing something on the bed.
Right...I had given it to him on our walk when I’d stopped to tie my shoes.
“You-you could’ve given it to me tomorrow! Why did you come here now, right before results are out?”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he muttered, crossing his arms. “I didn’t know if I was allowed to talk to you during the tournament. You know, little unimportant me shouldn’t be distracting you during the competition and all.”
“Oh! That’s rich coming from you. You’re accusing me of ignoring you , when all you did when we landed was text Evelyn!”
I’d shocked him into silence. With his mouth open and his eyes wide, he stared at me for a few seconds before asking softly, “Is that what this is all about? You think I don’t care enough about you?”
“Well...” Caught off guard, I didn’t know what to say, “I...”
“Open your mouth and tell me!” he demanded in a louder voice. The sudden jump in volume made me jolt; I’d never seen him like that. But when he stepped closer to me and more light illuminated his face, my surprise vanished.
His eyes shone with fear.
He looked absolutely petrified. “It would make sense, wouldn’t it?” I whispered. “I’m not tall and perfectly skinny like all your other girlfriends—like Evelyn. I’m just a phase, some fling before we go to college and live our lives.”
He tilted his face, his eyes still wide.” You sound like you have this all planned out, Jahnvi. When were you gonna tell me about this little plan of yours?”
“What do—?”
“Jesus! You act all innocent, Jahnvi, but you really are the worst! You think I go around letting every girl I know into the storage room of my restaurant? You think I take every random girl on trips to go get flowers?”
“You only wanted to use me!”
“For what? Information that was a single Google search away? No!” He grabbed my wrists, forcing me to meet his eyes. “No. I wanted you there. I always have. But I’m just a jerk, right?”
“Stop. Who...are you?” My voice wobbled dangerously. I could already feel my eyes starting to burn and tear up.
“Oh...god. Fuck! I really did trust you, Jahnvi, you know that? I told you everything and gave you everything, and in the end, it still isn’t enough! I mean, you can’t even tell I care for you. Can you not see that I treat you differently?”
It clicked right at that moment.
He was scared that he wasn’t enough...for me. He was insecure just like I was. Everett James, the Everett James, thought I didn’t care about him as much as he did for me.
Couldn’t he tell I was crazy about him since I met him?
I had made a mistake.
“Everett...I—”
“Oh, please don’t.” He swiftly moved past me and opened the door.
Pausing before he left, he spoke facing the hallway.
“And just for the record, I was only talking to Evelyn because she was throwing a hissy fit about how I wasn’t around enough anymore, and she blamed you.
I was trying to explain to her that my priorities have changed, and she needs to find more friends.
You...are my priority, Jahnvi. I’m upset that you don’t understand that you’re different. ”
Without giving me a chance to stop him, he shut the door behind him, and I was shrouded in darkness again. But I couldn’t even move to switch on the lights. It all had happened so quickly; what even was that about?
That’s when my phone buzzed. I’d made it into the octofinal round.
I couldn’t care less.