5. Alex
If I had to spend the day putting my life back together for the umpteenth time, spending it with Jaxon had been a pretty suitable compromise. And having him here to help me carry all this shit in the house is also a nice little benefit.
I’m not in the worst shape.
As someone who sits on his ass all day, I try to walk wherever I can. I remember seeing a nice little park down the street. Maybe when I need a break, I can walk there. Anything to get the blood pumping.
What I don’t have are the perfectly sculpted forearms of the man walking through the door. Jaxon’s tattooed arms flex and strain with the weight of the box. He's so fucking hot with all his muscles and ink. I want to taste them. If only he would get off the age thing and see me, actually see me !
“Why don’t you carry your clothes and stuff upstairs and I can move your computer and things into the office?” Jaxon says.
I hesitate for a moment because, like, that’s my brand new baby. I spent years building up my old one, making it perfect.
“Fine, just don’t break her,” I add, just because. It’s not like Jaxon is going to throw the boxes around. He's all very by the book. I mean, the guy even lifts with his legs… Now, really? Who does that?
He arches an eyebrow at me.
“Yeah, yeah I’m going,” I say, as I make my way up the stairs.
I empty the bags on my bed before putting all the clothes away in the old dresser that is shoved in the corner. The room is really tight. Jaxon’s room is going to look amazing when he finishes the remodel. And that bathroom, I have no words. It looks like the kitchen has been updated. But I think that was more Beckett’s doing when he was living here. I love this house though, it’s cute.
Suddenly, I hear a loud bang coming from downstairs.
What…the fuck…was that?
I’m bolting down the stairs, skipping some as I go. That better have not been my new baby.
I hit the landing, sliding in my socks as I turn, stopping at the wide open door into the office.
“What the…?”
“Surprise!” Jaxon yells.
In the place of Jaxon’s one desk, there are now two. Well, maybe you could call it one big one. It’s shaped like a giant T. And sitting in the section closest to the door is my gaming chair. The exact gaming chair I’ve always used, but… newer.
I look up to find Jaxon holding a giant blue bow. You know the kind that you never really know what to do with afterwards.
“What, um, what’s all this?” I swallow thickly. Emotion builds as my eyes start to sting. Nobody has ever been this kind to me, this thoughtful.
“You have a lot on your plate, and I know how important your company is to you.”
To do what I love and make enough money to support myself. It’s important to me, it's what I’ve worked so hard for.
I proved my parents wrong. They will never admit it, but it doesn’t matter, because I did it. Even if I am currently crashing at Jaxon’s house in a tiny bed. Did I mention how tiny the bed really is?
I sigh. Jaxon has a shy smile on his face. He really is the sweetest man. He's perfect, even if he isn’t mine.
“Thank you. You didn’t have to do all this.”
He shrugs a shoulder, “It's no big deal. Just one less thing to worry about.”
“Just one less thing? Are you freaking kidding me? How did you even have time to put it together? I was with you all day.”
“I had a little help from our friends, besides it didn't take them long. It came in an assembly kit.”
I look back at the desk, horror in my eyes.
I gasp. “Everyone knows that assembling furniture always takes twice as long as it says and…” I turn, not realizing how close we are. I’m practically in his arms. I swallow thickly, “Where did they put the bag?”
“The bag?”
“Yeah, theee bag. The one that has the leftover screws.”
There is no way they finished that fast with no extra screws.
Jaxon chuckles, throwing his arm over my shoulder before leaning down to whisper down in my ear.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you, Mira and Jules are back.”
He leads me closer to the desk, knocking his knuckles on the surface. “Do you really think Mira would let there be any extra pieces?”
“If I know her, she added extra pieces,” I say, before popping myself up on the desk just as Jaxon turns. My breath hitches as he ends up standing between my thighs. I bite down on my lip and his gaze lingers on my mouth.
I want him to kiss me. Please kiss me.
His eyes meet mine again and flare with something I’m not sure I understand. But I really want to find out.
The sudden ringing of his cell phone slices through the air, no, no, no , rendering the moment dead.
Jaxon sighs, resting his forehead against mine. He closes his eyes tight, schooling his features and answering the phone .
“Hey Dom. What’s up?” he says, as he walks out of the room, leaving me stunned.
What the fuck was that? Did that really happen? Maybe I’ve been dreaming too much about what those lips would taste like and it’s going to my head.
But… ever since The Malt Shop today, I feel like something has shifted between us. I can’t quite put my finger on it.
I could feel Jaxon’s eyes on me the entire ride home, almost like he was studying me. For a minute, I panicked and thought I was sporting a milkshake mustache.
And now, the almost kiss that will play me into a deep sleep.
Sighing, I hop down off the desk and start unpacking my new baby. The desk is perfect. It’s big enough to house my multiple screens and my scratch paper.
I’m no Finn when it comes to sketching, but sometimes I like to hand sketch my ideas before I put them to the computer.
Knowing that this is going to take me a couple of hours to set up, I get to work.
“So, what did they say about the apartment?” Spencer asks as we sit on the comfy couches tucked in the corner of Dragonfly Cafe. Mira and Jasper sit on the opposite couch. Jasper’s hair looks like it has been electrocuted, sticking up in all directions as they wait for their food order.
“I’ll be allowed to go in on Saturday to see if anything is salvageable. The fire chief told me to expect the worst.”
“I’m sorry Alex, is there anything I can do?
“There is not much to do.” And there really wasn’t. I was back to starting over. The only difference is that back when I walked out of my parents' lives, I was young, desperate to survive. Now… I’m just fucking tired.
Spencer gives me that look like he doesn't believe me. “I’ll be fine, really,” I say with as much confidence as I can muster while trying to reassure my best friend. All the while on the inside, I feel like I’m breaking into a million pieces under the pressure.
I can do this. I’ve done it before.
Spencer starts to fidget, like he's afraid to ask the next question, but then Jasper beats him to it.
“What’s up with the car situation?” he says with a toothpick dangling out of his mouth.
Ding, ding, ding… We have a winner!
“I have no clue, Jaxon is handling that. Last I heard, they were waiting on some parts that will not be delivered until Monday.” Which totally sucks because I accidently gave them my whole key ring, including the keys to the shelter.
Spencer arches an eyebrow.
“What?”
“That is awfully nice of Jaxon to handle that for you.” A slow smirk spreads across his face.
“Shut up.”
“Oh, is he going to show you how to drive a stick shift?” Jasper pipes in with a wiggle of his brows, which is not helping. “Not that he would let anyone drive his baby.”
“He already offered, actually, but no, since I don’t know how to drive a stick shift, it’s not even an option.”
Jasper’s and Mira’s eyes shoot up in surprise.
“Nobody, and I mean nobody, has ever driven his baby,” Mira says.
“Okaaaay? But I didn’t drive it. He probably only asked because he knew I would have to say no.”
“Sure… We’ll go with that,” Mira says leaning forward in her seat. “So Alex, tell me, how is the big new desk working out for you?” she says as she crosses her legs, resting her hand under her chin, and winks.
Okay, so Jaxon has been very generous. But that is just who he is. Jaxon likes to help people. Look at what he did for Finn. It’s in his DNA.
It was cute that he set the office up as a surprise. God, that stupid giant bow is still hanging on the back of my chair… And then there was that thing I can’t stop thinking about .
It’s been three days since the kiss almost happened. We have both been busy, and I’ve been trying to make up for lost time with House of Arrows 2.
Of course, none of that interferes with my constant thoughts of Jaxon. That night I jacked off, imagining what his lips would have felt like on mine. It was almost two nights of jacking off but I forced myself to get it together.
I can’t help but wonder though, if Dom had not called, would he have kissed me? And if he did, would he have regretted it?
It’s no secret that he has issues with the age difference. And I’ve been half in love with Jaxon for over a year now. If he kissed me and regretted it, I don’t know if I could handle the rejection.
I just know that I’m tired of living my life alone. I know that I’m young and still have many years ahead of me, but I’ve already spent too much time on my own. And watching what Spencer and Finn have, well, I want that. I wanna wake up in someone’s arms for once.
“Ahhh, yes, my replacement,” Beckett says as he plops down in a chair.
“He had to trade up in roommates at some point,” I say, giving him shit.
“Please, it’s easy to trade up from any of you fools,” Mira says, “Isn’t that right, babe?”
Jules comes walking over, her hair now dark red with a pixie cut. She sits on the arm of the couch and bends down to kiss the top of my head. “Sorry, bestie, but you’re messy as fuck.”
“Wha...What? Way to have my back.”
This time she pats my head, and I’m two seconds away from…from… I don’t know what, but something .
“It’s okay sweetie, we still love you.”
I narrow my eyes, “The verdict is still out on you.”
Then… I push her off the couch. She laughs as she makes her way to Mira’s lap, where of course they… and yep there they go.
We need a rule, all hands must be visible at all times.
I scoff when I look over and see Finn grabbing Spencer’s ass. Can these people not get a room? Fuck, the two of them literally live right upstairs. And none of this is helping with my constant chub I’ve been dealing with since I moved in with Jaxon .
“Don’t worry about it,” Beckett says, slapping my knee. “Jaxon couldn’t find his keys once and turned the house upside down. It was a disaster for days.”
I guess that is something, but now I’m going to be freaking out because, yes… I am messy. But I’ve been working on my adulting.
“Besides, I think you living there will be good for him.”
I cock my head, “Me? Why?”
“All Jaxon does is work and go home. I’m not slamming homebodies. It’s cool, I get it. But you two are both homebodies, so instead of him sitting around alone all the time, he will have someone there with him. Now, if we could all just figure out how to get him to take some fucking time off. He works too much, and he's letting life pass him by without even enjoying it.”
“I noticed. All week he left for the shop early in the mornings and didn’t come home until the evenings. Half the time I wonder if he eats.” Half the time, I wonder if he's avoiding me. Great, we didn’t even kiss, and he's already avoiding me.
I mean, I can take a hint. I know he's not interested. All he thinks about is my age. I suppose it doesn’t help that I call him Daddy all the time.
“He’ll eat tomorrow night because you guys are in charge of this week’s dinner,” Beckett says.
“Ahh, guys? How are we feeling about this?” Mira pipes in, “Last time Alex tried to make a lasagna, his fucking oven literally exploded. And Jaxon, well, do we need to talk about the casserole dish of 2022?”
We all wince.
“Guys, it’s gonna be fine. I know how to grill a burger. We have it covered.”
Do we have it covered? Because I don’t really know.