Chapter 14
Chapter fourteen
Spending the evening with Jayson’s friends and their significant others had been so much fun. One of the best nights she’d ever had. Leaving the game for the dance floor turned out to be a good decision. Sabrina had never enjoyed herself so much. Or laughed so hard.
Jayson pulled out his best gangster moves and they’d danced the night away.
It wasn’t long before the others joined them.
The festive mood, along with plenty of whiskey, made spirits bright and very uninhibited.
Exchanging kisses with Jayson while jamming to his favorite old-school songs, surrounded by the other couples—people she was quickly coming to consider friends, and whose company she truly enjoyed—made her want to never leave.
Her good mood took a nosedive when she checked her phone and saw a missed call and message from her dad. As much as she loved him, his call was a huge killjoy. A reality check and order to return to work and D.C.
The idea of leaving Jayson didn’t sit well with her at all.
It made her heart ache. Jayson Knight was the first man to treat her like she deserved—as a beautiful, accomplished, competent woman.
As his equal. How the hell could she pick up and leave after the amazing time they’d had together?
Could she really pretend nothing had happened?
Expecting him to pursue a long-distance relationship wasn’t fair or ideal. The truth was, if it weren’t for her father, she wouldn’t want to return to D.C., or her job, at all. The idea of leaving filled her with despair.
But you’re an adult, Sabrina. Time to act like one. As much fun as she’d had in Montana, the party was coming to an end. She had a life back in D.C. with an apartment and bills to pay and—
And the truth was, she never wanted to go back.
After too many drinks, endless hugs and saying goodbye, she and Jayson returned to his house. Feeling a little overwhelmed and growing sadder by the minute, she threw herself into his arms, knowing this was their last night together.
Unless he wanted more.
They enjoyed two rounds of some very thorough fucking, and when it was over, Sabrina fell back against his pillows, breathing hard.
Staring up at the ceiling, everything suddenly got blurry.
Crying in front of Jayson because she had to leave would be humiliating.
She wasn’t a little kid being told it was time to leave the park.
She knew this was never meant to be a forever thing.
Her time there was always meant to be temporary.
You’re a grown-ass adult, Sabrina. Act like it.
While he went into the en suite to get rid of the condom, she bit her lip and squeezed her eyes closed. You will not cry. Absolutely, positively will not let him see how much he’s come to mean to you.
A minute later, the mattress sank and he pulled her into his arms, kissing her deeply. When she finally opened her eyes, he was studying her so intently. Almost as though he were memorizing her features.
“What’re you thinking?” he murmured, rubbing his index finger over the frown lines between her brows.
“My dad left a message. He wants me to come home.” She felt him tense, arms tightening as though he didn’t want to let her go any more than she wanted to leave.
“I guess we knew that would be coming.” She froze, unable to read him, waiting for him to elaborate. To beg her to stay and move in with him. Yeah, right. “When do you leave?”
Her heart fell. And goddammit, so did the tears.
“Sabrina?” He pulled back, searching her face. “Why’re you crying?”
Because I want to stay here? Remain in your life? Mean something special and important to you?
She couldn’t say any of that without sounding like a stage-five clinger. But she also had to let him know how much their time together had meant to her. Even if he didn’t feel the same.
Clearing her throat, she wiped away the stupid, traitorous tears, and sat up. “I think you might be the best time I’ve ever had,” she whispered.
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled. “Same.”
Her heart thundered in her chest and there was so much she wanted to say, but fear held her back. If he wasn’t on the same page, if he rejected her, she’d want to curl up and die. “Do you, ah, ever visit D.C.?” she finally asked.
Okay, so maybe it was a cowardly move not to tell him what she was feeling, but he was brave. If she left the door open…invited him to tell her how he felt about her…
“No,” he answered. She waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t.
And there you have it. He’s not interested in taking this any further.
God, she barely knew him.
So why did it hurt so much?
Driving Sabrina to the airport the next day and saying goodbye was one of the hardest things Jayson ever did.
He wasn’t ready to let go, but what choice did he really have?
She lived in Washington D.C., he lived on the other side of the country in Cielo Springs.
She had a life there and he had one here.
But maybe he should’ve suggested they keep talking. Or that they visit each other whenever possible. His heart rebelled at the idea, though. He was an all-or-nothing kind of man. When he loved someone, he didn’t want to only see them once or twice a year.
Loved? He couldn’t love her. Hell, he barely knew her.
No, that wasn’t true. Funnily enough, even though they’d spent less time together, he felt like he knew her far better than he’d ever known Tara.
“Fuck,” he ground out and slammed a fist against the steering wheel. As he turned back into the long driveway leading up to his house, he had the horrible feeling he’d just fucked everything up so badly, there’d be no recovering.
His attention zeroed in on the hideous pea-green station wagon sitting in his driveway and he swore again. Why was Lex there? And why was he driving his dad’s POS dinosaur of a car?
Not in the mood to deal with the other man, he almost turned around and drove away.
Instead, he parked the Tahoe beside the station wagon and frowned.
Lex sat in his dad’s car, staring off into the distance.
With a reluctant sigh, Jayson walked over and rapped his knuckles against the glass.
Lex jumped, then he opened the door and got out.
“Hey,” he said, not at all his usual vivacious self. “I was just in the neighborhood…” His voice trailed off and he looked…lost.
“Where’s your car?”
Instead of answering, Lex rubbed his hands together. “Mind if I come in for a little bit?” He faltered. “Unless your girl is here—”
“I just dropped Sabrina off at the airport. She’s on her way home…and she’s not my girl.”
“You could’ve fooled me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Lex nodded to the door and blew on his hands. “Just open the door, will you? It’s freezing out here.”
Jayson obliged, unlocking the door and motioning for Lex to go inside first. Although he was in a foul mood, Jayson considered Lex to be one of his best friends, and something seemed glaringly off with the other man.
“And what I meant,” Lex said, pulling his coat off and tossing it over a chair, “is you two looked awfully cozy last night. Holding hands and dancing and sneaking kisses. We all saw it.” He crossed his arms. “Why’d you let her go?”
Lex’s accusatory tone caught Jayson by surprise. He figured if anyone would understand, it was Mr. Flavor of the Week. “First of all, she’s not a possession I can keep. And second, she has a life in D.C.”
“So, that’s it? Thanks for the memories and see ‘ya never?” Lex screwed up his face and sauntered over to the couch, dropping down. “Wow, man. Never took you for being such a callous dick.”
Goddammit, I am a dick. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighed heavily. “I fucked up, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, I’d say you did. Royally, pal.”
“Well, what was I supposed to do? Beg her to stay? Tell her I don’t want to let her go? Ask her to move in with me? I would’ve looked like a crazy, possessive, desperate psycho.”
“But you would’ve gotten the girl.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.” He sighed, raking a hand through his hair. “I don’t even know how she feels.”
“Because you didn’t ask, dumbass. Now, instead of having your arms full of a beautiful woman, you’re just full of regrets.”
Jayson slumped down on the couch beside his buddy, reluctant to admit the other man was right. “When did you get so wise?” he asked, sinking back into the cushions, beyond glum.
“I’ve always been wise.”
Jayson snorted. “A wiseass maybe.”
“Hey, you’re the one who let an amazing, totally gorgeous woman board a plane and leave.
I would’ve run back and turned it into a spectacular moment, straight out of a romcom.
Probably would’ve asked her to marry me in front of everyone and they would’ve cheered as we kissed.
That’s called an HEA, my friend. All women want one. ”
“A what?” he asked blankly. Who the hell was this guy? Certainly not Alexander Battle, Professional Player, Scoundrel and Wooer of Women.
“A happily ever after. Get with it.”
Jayson’s jaw dropped. “Who the hell are you and where is Alexander Battle?” he deadpanned.
Lex turned his head, his normally bright blue eyes dull. “I think I have to put my dad in a care facility.”
“Shit, Lex. I’m sorry.” They all knew Lex’s dad had been battling health issues for the past year and a half. Although he rarely talked about it, he did give Jayson and the others an update every so often.
“Seeing someone you love deteriorate fucking sucks,” he stated in a flat voice.
Jayson felt the pain in his friend’s words.
Felt it vibrating off him in depressing waves.
Out of them all, Lex was always the one who could be counted on to cheer the group up.
He was never without a funny story, usually about a conquest or something completely absurd and over-the-top that would only happen to him.
Like the time a movie filmed in Cielo Springs, and he ended up seducing both the lead actress and her assistant, and the three of them had a grand ol’ time in her trailer.
“If you need anything—” Jayson offered.
“Appreciate it.” Jerking upright, he released a sigh and shook his arms out. “Let’s talk about something else. Something not depressing as shit.”
Jayson’s mouth edged up. “I think Sabrina and I managed to christen every room in my house.”
“Alright!” Lex extended his closed fist and they bumped knuckles. Then he shifted over on the couch, suddenly wary. “Just hopefully not where I’m sitting.”
Jayson laughed. “You’re fine,” he assured him, remembering how they’d fucked on the floor and then against the wall.
Neither said anything for a moment, then Lex cleared his throat. “So, ah, about that…”
“What?”
“The sex. It was good?”
“Better than good. Fucking phenomenal. Best I’ve ever had.
” Jayson leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
“You know when you can’t get enough? And then it turns into something so powerful, and the connection leaves you without words?
Because your mind is so blown, you can’t even string a sentence together.
And all you want to do is make it last as long as possible. Like…forever.”
“No,” Lex responded. “I mean, yes, I get lusting after a woman. But once I’ve had her, what’s left to want?”
“A future,” Jayson said in a low voice, everything suddenly becoming crystal clear.
Images of his time with Sabrina flashed through his mind like a highlight reel: firing their guns side by side against Ferrante’s men, seeing her whisper and giggle with Emma, baking in his kitchen, riding the horses on the trails, lying in bed together after sharing the best sex of his life.
Lex chortled. “You sound like a man in love.”
“Yeah, I do.” Jayson released a low breath. “Because I think I am.”
“Can’t say I’m surprised to hear it.” Lex cursed and raked a hand through his brown hair. “And another one bites the dust. Now you gotta man-up and get your woman back.”
“Any ideas?”
“Can you still catch her at the airport and give her that grand gesture? I’m sure you’ve got a boombox laying around here somewhere you can hold over your head.”
“No, I think it’s too late for that. And I’m no Lloyd Dobler.” He checked his watch. “She should be in the air right now.”
“Hell, I thought the older we got, the less chance any of us would ever find anyone. We’re supposed to be cynical old bachelors having less sex and telling punk kids to stay off our lawn.”
“I had more sex this past week than I’ve had since Emma was born. Hell, ever.”
Lex arched a brow then leaned in closer, voice dropping to a confidential tone.
“Isn’t it supposed to get harder in that department as we get older, though?
Or, less hard,” he joked, seemingly a little uncomfortable.
“I mean, that’s what I’ve heard. And you’re definitely older than me, so you’d know. ”
“I’ve had zero problems,” Jayson assured him, then narrowed his eyes. Was Lex talking from experience? Was the biggest playboy in Cielo Springs having problems in the bedroom? “Why? You?”
“No,” he answered far too fast. Then he snorted in derision for good measure. “Of course not. Are you kidding me?”
Before Jayson could reply, a loud crash jolted them both to their feet. Spinning around, he saw the rear sliding door had been shattered and an object came hurtling into the house.
“Flashbang!” Lex yelled, and they both dove for cover.