Chapter 9
I didn’t say shit else to her for the next few hours, just sat there with her as she watched over the child.
I needed to find an outlet for my unreasonable anger, but I didn’t want to leave her here alone. It broke my heart that the two of them seemed to be all alone in the world.
One was no bigger than my thigh, hooked up to machines and tubes that no innocent should have to endure.
And the other was little more than a child herself. She might be older than I thought in years, but life had knocked her around quite a bit.
That’s where that air of innocence came from I suppose. The more I sat there the less I thought about her husband and the more I wanted to take care of her.
Seeing the love she had for the child, I wanted to take care of her too, little Amber. I got lost in thought as I moved things around in my head to add the child to my plans.
I didn’t realize she’d fallen asleep until her head rolled to the side. Without thinking I pulled my chair closer and put my arm around her, pulling her head onto my shoulder.
I rested my head back against the chair and closed my eyes for some much needed rest and when I woke up she was staring up at me.
“What is it? Did something happen?” she didn’t seem to notice that I’d come awake and my voice startled her.
She moved away from my shoulder and fixed her hair before getting up to walk over to the bed where Amber was still asleep.
“I’ll go get us some dinner, anything in particular you want to eat?” Feeding her was about all I could do for her for now. It wasn’t much but at least it kept me from feeling completely helpless.
“Whatever you bring is fine, I don’t have much of an appetite.” She was back to being reserved and I had a feeling it had something to do with whatever she was doing while I was still asleep.
I’d awakened to find her staring at me with her head still on my shoulder. Why hadn’t she moved once she awakened to find herself in my arms?
My step was lighter when I stepped off the elevator and headed outside in search of dinner. I wasn’t sure what she liked so I got her three choices, chicken, steak and fish, how can I go wrong?
She laughed when I came back laden down with the bags of food and I stopped and stared at her. I’d never seen her laugh like that before, at least not with me.
The sound went straight to my heart and made it feel lighter, warmer. Not to mention the sensations in my dick. “What’s so funny?”
“What did you do, buy out the restaurant? I hope you’re not expecting me to eat all of that.”
“No, I wasn’t sure what you’d like so I got one of everything.”
I put the bags on the table and moved to the bed to look down at the sleeping child. “Did she wake up while I was gone?”
“Only for a little bit. It’s good, rest is the best thing for her right now while the machine helps her to breathe.”
There was a catch in her throat when she said the words and for the first time that day I thought she would break.
“Come here.” She looked at me questioningly when I opened my arms to her. I pulled her into my chest and wrapped my arms around her for the first time.
Everything inside me settled into place, while other parts of me that never seemed to rest whenever she was around, came fully alive.
She held herself stiff for the first few seconds, but when I kissed her forehead gently the simple action seemed to release her.
I felt her shoulders shake before I heard the first sob. I closed my eyes against the pain her tears caused and let her cry. “It’s okay sweetheart, I’m here; it’s going to be okay.”
That only made her cry harder so I lifted her in my arms and sat on the chair with her on my lap. Her tears soaked through my shirt and tore a hole in my heart.
“Please stop.” I held her head against my chest and rocked her in my arms the way she’d done with little Amber.
I never knew a woman’s tears could have such an affect on me. I’d have given half my wealth just to stop her from crying.
Each sob felt like a dagger piercing my heart and I felt helpless, something I am not used to and did not handle well. I wanted to put my fist through something, but what? And what good would that do?
“Baby I told you to stop crying I can’t take it. Everything is going to be okay. The specialist will be here and he’ll see to Amber and she’ll never have to go through this again.”
I was talking fast, saying whatever came into my head, anything to stop her from ripping my heart out of my chest. But the more I talked the harder she cried so I just shut up and held her close.
When she’d cried herself out and her sobs turned to sniffles thank fuck, she tried to jump off my lap. I tightened my hold.
“Where do you think you’re going?” She stopped all movement and did that stiffening thing again.
“The food’s getting cold.” I’m sure that’s what you’re thinking about. I let her go but never took my eyes off of her as she opened the containers and looked at the food that was still hot thankfully.
She chose the fish with vegetables and I had the steak. I had to browbeat her into eating every damn morsel that went into her mouth and it was obvious she was back to being her pain in the ass self.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Why am I doing what?”
“All this. The specialist, the…”
“Would you have preferred me to let your child suffer? What do you take me for? Eat your food and don’t annoy me.”
I said it with enough warmth in my voice so she’d know I was just playing with her. Another first for me.
From her reaction to my interest it was obvious that she’d been alone for way too long. That there was no one else taking care of her, of them.
I can’t imagine the burden of having a sick child and no one to help. I tried to imagine my own mother in the same predicament and didn’t like the results one bit.
I asked her about her life, avoiding anything to do with the man she’d been married to. I wasn’t ready for that shit, didn’t know how to handle the feelings it evoked in me whenever I even thought of him.
I learned about her years in school, her dedication to making something better of her life after being raised in the foster system.
I learned of the struggles she’d faced since being orphaned at an early age, all alone in the world without anyone to care for her. Every word broke my fucking heart in pieces.
I wanted to tell her that that was all behind her now; that she never had to worry about anything ever again.
But I knew if I moved too fast I’d only spook her; she had no reason to believe me besides. Plus I was pretty sure she’d only argue me to death at this early stage in the game. So I kept my thoughts to myself. I’ll just show her.