Jealousy

Chapter 14

14

ZORA

M y father was released two days after his admission. He’s still quite weak and listless but that’s our countries magnificent health care system. The hospital accountants probably saw that his Medicare would only cover so much and wanted to space for people with better medical insurance.

I wish I could add him to mine. It was pretty decent but I wasn’t sure how long it would last if I didn’t return to work soon. I don’t see how I can go back when my dad is in this condition. Dr. Becker would probably grant me a leave of absence while I got things straightened out but I’m sure even he had his limits.

He might consider keeping me on if most of my clients agree to do their sessions by video call. I understand that I could probably lose some people because not everyone has access to wifi or the privacy to do a session in that manner.

In those cases, I had recommendations for other therapists they might be comfortable with. But right now my priority was getting things in order with my father.

I spent the last couple days getting power of attorney over my father’s finances and medical decisions. Though my father was a little reluctant to turn everything over to me, he realized I wouldn’t back down. I’m sure he didn’t want me to take on the added burden of dealing with this mess, but I think he’s secretly relieved.

I want him to focus on his recovery so it was a burden I didn’t mind bearing.

A fter getting everything notarized, my first line of order was collecting as many documents as I could that could give me a clearer picture of the trouble my father was in. The foreclosure was bad enough but once I went through his bank statements, it was worse than I thought.

He’d gone through his considerable savings over the last few years. He’d cashed out the couple IRAs he had there were a couple past due loans from credit unions. When all was said and done, the debt was in the hundreds of thousands. How had it gotten so bad. How could Langston bleed our father dry to the point where he would soon be on the streets? I simply can’t wrap my head around how this could happen.

Growing up, we weren’t rich and we never had designer labels but Langston and I never went without. My father took care of us the best that he could but seeing what a shambles his portfolio is, makes me sick to my stomach.

I hate that my brother has managed to swindle our father to this point. If it is up to me, Langston could rot in prison. But I know Dad wouldn’t want that.

I would do whatever I needed to do to make sure my father is taken care of and one of those things was going to the bank to meet with the loan officer in charge of my father’s mortgage. I’d hoped to work out some kind of payment arrangement but the only way for me to save the house was to pay the full amount of the loan as they had started the eviction process.

The loan officer practically laughed in my face when I suggested taking out a loan to cover it because I didn’t have the collateral for them to justify lending me such a vast sum.

The bad news continued to pile on. After a talk with the Oncologist, it was determined that my father would need surgery after all followed by radiation and chemotherapy. It would be months before he was well enough to take care of himself.

I only had one card left to play and it was the one I didn’t think I’d ever have to consider.

I don’t know what game Jackson was playing but what option did I have? If he could genuinely help me I’d have to swallow my pride. Not because what happened to us has kept me up at night leaving my body craving for more. No, I’m sure he’s not the reason, I woke up last night covered in sweat and my pussy aching. I refuse to acknowledge he has that kind of power over me.

I have to be insane to even consider this. But what choice do I have. If he can really help me like he claims he will, then I will risk it if it saves my father.

But one thing I don’t understand is the why.

He claims he wants me to be his and that statement scares me. Does he want to use me? Was all the times he tormented me in high school not enough. I just don’t understand. No one made me feel as worthless and unattractive as he did so what happened the night of graduation and his actions now make no sense.

There were so many incidents where he’d made me feel like shit but one particular incident would always stand out.

“Who gives a pop quiz on the first week of school. This is our senior year, are the teachers supposed to take it easy on us?” Lea groaned

“Some teachers feel like they have something to prove. Besides, I told you not to take Calculus 2. I took it last year and it was just hard for no damn reason. I barely passed it and it messed up my GPA.”

Lea waves her hand dismissively. “You still have an A average. Besides, I thought it would look better on my college transcripts.”

“And now you have to suffer through it for the rest of the semester.”

“Booooo.”

I laugh as we head to the cafeteria. My dad still packs my lunch even though I’m capable of doing it myself but he always puts something good in my lunch bag so I don’t mind. I preferred eating outside on the bleachers because there were less people competing to be heard. But today is too damn hot.

“You look super cute, by the way. I forgot to mention it when I picked you this morning.”

I couldn’t keep the grin off my feet. For once I actually felt cute. I’m not crazy about shopping because it’s hard to find clothes that I like in my size and the ones that are, are usually expensive. I found this dress when my dad had given me money to go back to school shopping. By some miracle not only was it my size but it had been on sale.

It was a yellow mini, off the shoulder sundress that molded my breasts in a way that made them stand out while not being inappropriate for school. The skirt part, fell just above my knees I pair it with some mint green combat boots I’d found In a thrift shop.

My hair, which I usually wear in one big puff is parted into too large afro puffs. My makeup is subtle but I’ve finally managed to master giving myself the cat-eye effect with my eyeliner.

“Thanks friend. I found it at the mall in a boutique that just opened”

“I’ll have to check that place out.”

“I think you’ll like it. They had a bunch of outfits you’ll probably like at some decent prices.”

We chat on our way to an empty table in the back of the cafeteria.

“What the fuck are you wearing?” The words are spoken so loudly, a hush falls over the crowd in the cafeteria. I didn’t see who’d said it but I knew who that voice belonged to and that the question was directed to me.”

I want to keep walking but my steps falter and I nearly stumble. Lea catches me by the arm and holds me steady.

“Just ignore, him girl,” Lea says just loud enough for only me to hear. She attempts to pull me along but I’m frozen to the spot.

Although I have a couple classes with him this year, I’ve managed to stay off Jackson’s radar until now.

“I said what the hell are you wearing?” Jackson demanded like he was the head of the fashion police.

“I can’t believe she found a dress big enough to fit her. She looks like a big mustard stain,” Teagan’s voice rings out followed by the roar of laugher from the students who’d heard her cruel taunt.

I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of my tears but to my humiliation, they sprang to my eyes. I dropped my lunch bag and turned on my heel.

“Don’t wear that shit again,” Jackson calls after me as I race out the cafeteria with Lea trailing behind me.

And even though I loved that dress when I’d bought it. I never wore it again.

How could I possibly take Jackson seriously when he used to do things like that to me? He had no problem embarrassing me that day and many other times yet somehow, I had to rely on his largess to help my family out of this dire situation.

“Sweetheart, how long are you going to frown over that paperwork. You should get some rest. And I’ll make you something to eat.”

My father places his hand on my shoulder and brings me back to the present.

“Dad, you’re the one who should be in bed resting. “You’ve only just gotten out of the hospital and the doctor wants you to take it easy,” I scold him lightly.

“I’ve been in bed most of the day and there’s only so much resting I can do.” He takes a seat across from me at the kitchen table.

“Don’t even think about cooking anything for me. I can make something for you. How about some baked chicken, rice and string beans. That should be easy on your stomach. I can get started on it now.”

Just as I’m about to get up, he points to my chair. “Sit down, Zora. It think it’s time for the two of us to have a little chat.”

There was an underlying current in his tone that told me that he had no intention of arguing about it.

“Of course. What’s up, Dad.”

“I’m sure you’ve gone through all my documents and see that I’m in trouble. I didn’t mean for things to get this far and I especially didn’t want you to take on the burden of trying to figure things out. I’ve let you down sweetheart, and I’m sorry.”

His eyes gleamed with the suspicious sheen of tears. “I’ve only seen my dad cry one other time and that was at my mother’s funeral. Even though I was slightly peeved with him for not telling me how bad things were until now, I could never be angry with him.

I reach across the table and clasp his hand. “Dad, I wish you would have told me what was happening. I’m guessing you did this for Langston’s sake. I know things must have been bad because you took a second mortgage out on this house even though it had already been paid off.”

He hangs his head as if he’s afraid to look me in the eye. “I don’t know where I went wrong with that boy but I couldn’t let him get hurt.”

“What do you mean by ‘get hurt’?”

“Your brother apparently got involved with some very bad people and he ended up owing them a bunch of money. They said they would hurt him if he didn’t give it to him.”

“And you believed him?”

“As prideful as your brother is, I know what it must have taken him to come to me. You know how much he hated living in Champion. He always had these dreams of making it big but instead of being patient and working hard he took the easy way. He wouldn’t give me all the details but I’m guessing it was something illegal.”

I sigh. If Langston was nothing else, he was a huge piece of shit. “Has it occurred to you to let him stand on his own two feet and figure things out for himself?”

“I didn’t want to let him down. He was so close your mother. When she died, he changed. Look, I know he’s selfish but he’s still my son and I don’t want to see either of my kids suffering.”

“But Dad, you’ve helped him to the point where you’re about to lose your house. You have no money in the bank to find somewhere else. You clearly weren’t thinking clearly. You’ve blown your retirement on that fool.”

“Zora, I understand that but I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t help him. I would have done the exact same thing for you.”

“But the difference between me and Langston is that I would never have put you in this situation in the first place. Do you know he’s currently on the run because he embezzled a large sum of money from his last job?”

“He did? Maybe that’s why he was trying to get a hold of me. I had a bunch of missed calls from him while I was in the hospital. I haven’t had a chance to call him back yet.”

“And you’re not going to. You’re going to let me handle everything from here on out and that means no more helping him.”

“I don’t want him to get in trouble with the law.”

“It’s too late for that, Dad.”

“But…but…” He clutches his chest and takes several deep breaths.

I jump to my feet and race to his side. “Dad, are you okay.”

“I’m fine.” He waves me off. “Just got a little excited. Maybe I do need to lay down.”

I get him a glass of water and hand it to him.

He takes a few careful sips and sits the glass on the table. “Thanks, sweetheart. I’ll find a way to get out of this trouble I’m in.”

“You’ll do no such thing except look after your health. I’m here now. I’ll taking a leave of absence from my job while I sort things out.”

He shakes his head vehemently. “No. I don’t want you to do that, Zora. I know you love your job. I don’t want you to give it up for me.”

“I’m not giving it up. I’m just taking some time off. Well, partially. Some of my clients have agreed to do our sessions via video chat. As for Langston, promise me you won’t call him back until I sort things out.”

“But what if he calls?”

“Don’t answer. Dad, I don’t ask for much but I’m asking you do this one favor for me. Let him sweat things out for a bit.”

He doesn’t answer right away and at first I don’t think he’ll agree but finally he nods. “Okay. I won’t but I’m worried about him.”

“Dad, the only person you need to worry about is yourself. Go lie down and I’ll call you when dinner is ready.”

“Okay, sweetie.” He slowly rises to his feet and my heart squeezed in my chest. His movements are that of an old man instead of the vibrant man I remember from my childhood. My dad is getting old and I can only imagine the tremendous stress he’s been under.

I will do anything to take that stress away. Even if it meals doing a deal with the devil.”

When I’m alone in the kitchen again, I reach for my phone dial the number I’ve forced myself to memorize.

“Zora, to what do I owe the honor of this call?”

So this is how he wanted to play it. Even in his victory, he couldn’t help being a smug creep.

“Jackson, you know why I’m calling.”

He chuckles. “Of course I do, I just want to hear you say it.”

I release a deep breath, mainly to keep myself from cussing him out. “You win.”

“What exactly do I win, Zora.”

I squeeze my eyes shut and silently count to three. Of course he’s not going to make this easy for me. “I’ll…I’ll be yours or whatever that means.”

“Baby doll, you’ve always been mine. But it’s good that you’ve finally acknowledged it.

What have I gotten myself into?