Chapter 17
Skylar’s mind was a tempest. Her thoughts and emotions swirled chaotically, colliding like Ping-Pong balls within her chest. She grappled with an ache that oscillated between her head and her heart, each vying for dominance.
Yet nestled in Jeb’s embrace, she allowed his words to flow over her, calming her rattled soul.
In her heart, she’d long since forgiven him for the way he walked out of her life. She understood the complexity of their past, the tangled web of unspoken truths and unshared pains. Some would say she blamed herself for not telling him the truth about her parents earlier. Others might say that she hadn’t really forgiven him but just decided to push him to the far corners of her mind.
But the truth was, she had clung to her cherished childhood memories of him. He was the only true friend she had growing up. He was the beacon in the rough seas of her life. And she had quietly fallen in love with him by the time he was ready to leave for the Navy. Whether he reciprocated those feelings was irrelevant. Loving someone meant forgiving them. Now, hearing that he had planned to ask her to wait for him, warmth traveled through her veins, settling in her heart.
She raised herself slightly, eager to lock eyes with him after he explained his intentions from long ago. “None of this really matters, Jeb.” Her soft voice was a mixture of reassurance and melancholy. Catching a flash of hurt move through his eyes, she hurried to explain her words. “We can’t go back and change things. When I said it was all water under the bridge, that’s true. Even if you had asked me to wait for you back then, who knows what paths we would have taken? You’ve admitted how young and naive we were. I’m not sure we would have had the maturity to turn our budding feelings into something permanently successful.”
She wasn’t dismissing their past but accepting their journey. It was a recognition that their roads had shaped them into the people they were now. At this moment, quietly surrounded by Jeb’s strength, she resolved to face whatever future lay ahead, unburdened by the shadows of what could have been.
Seeing the slight curve of his lips, she kept going. “I’ve reconciled my past with my parents. In my own way, I’ve grieved my childhood, which was not good. You’ve grieved your parents’ passing and a childhood that was not what you would’ve enjoyed if they had lived. We became friends at a time when we both needed each other. And while our goodbye was marred, we’ve now grown, matured, and lived enough life to know what’s important.”
He lifted a hand to cover her cheek. “And what’s that, Skylar?“
“That now is all that matters. Not the past. Just now… and the future.”
His voice was raw. “I’m sorry for the way we had to meet again, but I”m not sorry that you reached out or that I came.”
Their gazes devoured each other, but she could feel him holding back. Tired of denying what she wanted, she swung her leg around to straddle his thighs. Clutching his cheeks, she held him and leaned in for a kiss. Even if it was a soft, once-in-a-lifetime, never-to-be-repeated kiss… she wanted to take charge for once and not just let life happen.
As soon as her lips met his, warmth infused her body, and she melted into him. He never gave her a chance to second-guess her decision. His lips were pliant under hers, moving gently as they tenderly explored.
Then she pulled back, her chest heaving, and stared into his eyes. They were black, the pupils blown so that all she could see were dark, intense orbs. His hands gripped her hips before he slid them up her body to her cheeks. He held her in place for a long moment. A slow smile curved his lips, and her mouth mirrored his expression. Without further preamble, they crashed together.
Lips melded and moved. Tongues tangled and tasted, danced and devoured, each trying to vie for dominance. Their bodies were held tightly together for what seemed forever, but they spoke only with their mouths. Slowly, their hands began the new exploration. His fingers glided along her sides, his fingertips barely skimming the sides of her breasts, and she hoped he wasn’t disappointed in her lithe curves. Her fingers roamed over the hard planes of his chest and feathered lightly along the ridges of his abdomen. All while their mouths continued to meld together.
His hands gripped her waist, and his fingers slipped underneath the hem of her flannel pajama shirt. Then he stopped and pushed her back slightly. As they separated, her eyes flew open, disappointment already shining. “Wha…” she moaned.
He chuckled, the deep sound rumbling from his chest. “Just wanted to make sure. I don’t want to get carried away and become another one of your regrets.”
Her tongue dragged along her top lip, feeling the tingling from their kisses. “There was never anything about you that was a regret. We just needed to mature before we could handle who we really are.”
“So you want this… whatever is happening between us?”
She lifted her hand and cupped his gorgeous face. “Jeb, the truth that I no longer want to hide is that I not only loved you all those years ago, but I fell in love with you along the way. Maybe thirteen years have passed to hone us into who we are now, but my feelings haven’t changed.”
His dark eyes morphed into warm chocolate but lost none of their intensity. Leaning closer, he met her lips again and pulled her closer. She felt his erection press against her core and wished the layers of material weren’t between them. Rocking slightly, she swallowed the groan he emitted, feeling the sound through his chest against hers.
His fingers slipped back under the hem of her shirt, and the tingles she had felt on her lips now moved to her stomach as she anxiously awaited his exploration. The rough pads of his fingers danced along her ribs, eliciting a giggle against his lips. The material of her shirt pulled upward with the movement of his hands.
He palmed her breasts, and she sucked in a gasp as the ache in her nipples only grew in intensity as he rolled the taut flesh between his thumbs and forefingers. Trying to focus on one area, she wiggled again but was overwhelmed with feelings. Her core ached against his erection, her breasts tingled under his palms, and her lips welcomed his mouth. Arching her back, she pressed forward, and if he found her slight frame lacking, the moans coming from his mouth didn’t give that impression. Instead, his ministrations made her feel all woman.
Suddenly, his mouth left hers, and before she could protest, he jerked her shirt over her head and tossed it to the end of the bed. Now, naked from the waist up and with nothing to hide his face from her, she watched as his brown eyes darkened even more as he stared. The urge to cover herself was strong, but the appreciation in his expression had her remain still.
“Christ, you’re beautiful, Skylar,” he breathed, his voice low and reverent.
“It took me a long time to become comfortable in my own skin,” she admitted.
His gaze jumped to hers, and his brows lowered in question.
Rolling her lips inward, she shrugged. “When you’re tiny in a world of women with luscious curves, it can be a little intimidating.”
His gaze snapped back up to her eyes, an incredulous expression in his lower brows and tight jaw. “You should never be intimidated by anyone for any reason. You are utterly beautiful.”
She not only heard his words but felt them to her core. He bent forward, his mouth encircling a nipple, sucking it in deeply. She held his shoulders, her fingers digging into the muscles. He moved between her breasts, giving each attention as though they had all the time in the world. But the nerves that connected her breasts with her core fired with sparks that had her rocking over his erection even more.
He only wore boxer briefs, and dropping her chin, she stared down, surprised he wasn’t bursting through the stretched material.
“You keep rocking those hips and staring like that, and I’m not gonna last.”
“That’s fine because I don’t want you to last. Or at least, maybe last only enough until we’re truly together.”
He lifted his head and locked gazes with her again. “Is this what you want? The last thing I want to do is take advantage of you, Skylar. You’ve been trapped in a bizarre situation and alone for months. I don’t want to misread what’s happening?—”
She clutched his cheeks once again, bringing her face close. “Let me make this perfectly clear. It’s true my situation is bizarre. I’ve been alone here for months. And beyond that, even when I was living my life and working my job, I felt very alone. I had no idea if you would even respond to the cyber crumbs I left, leading you to me. I certainly had no idea you’d show up here, recognize me, and volunteer to stay. But you are not taking advantage of me. This is me standing on my own decisions. I’m taking down Alistair Montague and Colonel Spelling. I’ve decided to get out of this toxic environment. I’m taking part in my own rescue. And you’re the only man I’ve ever truly loved even though it’s been thirteen years since we’ve seen each other. So yeah… I know exactly what I’m doing. If we stop now, I’d be happy but a little unfulfilled. And if we keep going, I want to take this all the way.”
He hesitated a second before his lips curved into a wide grin, and he rested his forehead against her. “I thought you might give me a yes or no answer, but you gave me a whole lot of words. But by God, you’re right. You know your own mind, and thank God, you want me.”
She thought he was going to kiss her again, but instead, he moved so fast that before she knew it, she was on her back, and he was covering her body with his own. Her legs fell open, and his hips fit between her thighs, with his erection now pressing close to her core. His bare chest skimmed hers as he kept his full weight lifted with his forearms pressed into the thin mattress on either side of her shoulders.
He lowered his head slowly, dragging his nose along hers, nuzzling her ear, and then nipping at her pulse point at the bottom of her neck, finding erogenous zones she didn’t even know she had. If she thought her nerves were firing earlier, it was nothing compared to the fireworks sending sparks throughout her body.
He shifted upward, and his brow lowered once again. “Skylar, I don’t have a condom.”
“Jeb, I haven’t been with anybody in years, but I have an IUD.”
While he rested his ass on his heels, he reached forward and snagged the waistband of her pajama bottoms and dragged them down her legs, hooking her panties as well. She didn’t even see where he tossed them, not caring where they fell. Shifting again, he was soon rid of his boxers.
Her gaze dropped to focus on his cock, and she almost laughed aloud. He was so much larger than any man she’d ever slept with. Although casting her mind back, she’d only been with three. Her first in college was a complete disaster with a minuteman who had no idea that he should take the time to help a woman orgasm. The other two were men she had dated for a few months years ago, but neither had been memorable… in or out of bed.
But doing nothing more than staring at Jeb”s cock, she knew he was truly memorable.
Her gaze now dragged upward over his abs and chest, staring at the sun tattoo and noticing the one on his shoulder of a lighthouse. She’d never wanted to get a tattoo. Not because she was against them but because she had never thought of a design she wanted permanently embedded in her skin. But just seeing the two that he had, she suddenly thought that maybe smaller images of those would be perfect.
She continued her perusal up to his face, finding his dark eyes on hers, his lips quirking slightly on one side.“You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen in my life,” she admitted.
“Well, considering you’re the most beautiful woman, I’d say we make a good team.”
She lifted her hands, smoothing them along his arms as he lowered himself toward her with his cock at her center. “I don’t want to wait, Jeb. Believe me, I’m ready.”
He reached down and slid the end of his cock through her slick folds. Lining up to her sex, he thrust forward, impaling her in one long, smooth movement. She gasped at the fullness, then held on tight for the ride. She lifted her hips to meet him as his movements increased. He bent slightly, taking a nipple in his mouth, sucking deeply as he continued to thrust.
Once again, the fireworks flashed throughout her body and had her closing her eyes for only a few seconds before she opened them again, determined not to miss one moment of their time together.
No more thoughts came to mind as she gave herself over to the physical sensations of fullness and friction as their bodies moved together. With each thrust, she felt as though he were touching her soul, and every time his cock dragged back out, all she wanted to do was clutch him closer. She wrapped her legs around his waist, hooking her heels against his ass. Every inch of him was muscular, and instead of feeling just tiny, she felt protected.
Deep inside, a coil tightened, and her fingers dug into his shoulders harder. He shifted enough to slide his hand between them, his thumb circling and then pressing against the nerves that had her crying out as electricity shot through her entire body. As her release rushed over her, she closed her eyes, letting the sensations collide with her emotions, and carry her away as her body slowly eased.
Jeb continued to thrust, and she slowly opened her eyes to see his taut neck and flushed face as he threw his head back with a grimace, crying out his own release.
She continued to cling to him as they rode out the final twinges, and then he slowly pulled out and rolled them to where they faced each other, side by side.
Neither spoke as their bodies cooled. A sliver of doubt moved through her, but Jeb kept his eyes on hers and reached up to cup her face, gently rubbing his thumb over her cheek. The simple movement was calming, and she felt that she was the center of his world at that moment.
They both smiled. “That was really…” She stopped when no other words came to mind that could describe what she’d experienced.
“Better than I could’ve ever imagined,” he said. After another moment of peaceful afterglow, he shifted off the bed. “I need to clean up. Stay right here, and I’ll be back.”
He disappeared into the bathroom and soon returned with a warm, wet washcloth. It appeared he’d already wiped himself off, but he leaned over and gently cleaned her thighs and between her legs. Once he’d returned the washcloth to the bathroom, he walked directly to her, then hesitated. She lifted her arms and scooted toward the wall.
“The bed is small, but I’d rather share it with you than be separated.” Shrugging, she added, “But only if you’d be comfortable with that.”
A wide grin crossed his face, and he slipped in next to her. The twin-size bed barely held both of them, but he wrapped her in his arms, and she rested her head on his chest.
She felt sure she wouldn’t go back to sleep. She’d just had sex with a man she never thought she’d see again even though she’d fallen in love with him as a teenager. It was the stuff of dreams or maybe even a cheesy movie. Certainly, it could end up as the plot in a romance novel. But in real life? Her real life? She couldn’t believe her dream had come true in the middle of her nightmare.
And she fell asleep with Jeb’s protective embrace encircling her.