Chapter 10 #2
Stepping off the elevator, she found Cutter sitting near the windows.
He immediately stood when he spotted her exiting.
He smiled at her, and she tried to smile back, but wasn’t sure if she pulled it off or not.
They walked back to his car in silence, with him stealing looks at her until they were inside.
He tried talking to her as they drove back to her apartment, but soon gave up when she gave only one-word replies.
She felt bad for not carrying on a conversation with him because she really did like him, but she had way too many things flitting around her brain right now.
She was afraid to open her mouth and have them all fall out.
She’d been so deep in thought that she didn’t realize they’d made it back to her apartment until Cutter parked his car next to hers.
“Come on. I’ll walk you up.” He reached for his door handle.
“That’s okay. You don’t need to do that.” Her stomach wasn’t feeling so good again, and she really just wanted to be alone.
“I was told I had to go in with you to make sure it was clear. After that, I can go if you want me to.”
She really didn’t want him to come up, but she didn’t want to be attacked in her own home either.
She felt like she’d barely been holding it together on the ride home.
“Okay.” She opened her car door, stepped out, and crossed the alley with Cutter hot on her heels.
She opened the door and shut off the alarm, then told Cutter to do whatever he needed to do.
He was shouting for her to wait while he did a walk-through, but she was already on her way to the kitchen.
She tossed her purse on the table before hurrying to the bathroom.
She shut the door behind her and made it to the toilet just in time to throw up.
She dry-heaved a few times, then slid to the floor on her butt with her back against the bathtub.
She drew up her knees and dropped her head in her hands, and finally let the tears she’d been holding back fall.
Her brain felt like it was going to explode. This was all too much to deal with.
First and foremost on the list of things she needed to do in regards to this pregnancy was to tell Darren he was going to be a father.
She had no idea how she was going to do that.
How did one tell a man she’d been forced to have sex with, but wasn’t close to that she was carrying his child?
What was he going to think? Would he be happy, or would he tell her he wanted nothing to do with the child and to get rid of it?
What if he did want to be a part of the child’s life? How was that supposed to work?
Then there was Kylie. How was she going to handle this news?
Would she boot Darren to the curb? Would she stand by him?
Would she try to convince him to take the baby away from her?
Yes, some of these thoughts were a little far-fetched, but they were concerns nonetheless.
And she seriously doubted Kylie would appreciate running into her somewhere in town as she grew bigger each month with her man’s baby.
Maybe Sadie should move? The thought of running into Kylie as she grew bigger each month with Darren’s child didn’t sound appealing. Would she be openly hostile to her? Would she cause problems for her?
Then there was Oliver. How was she going to explain all this to him? If she couldn’t wrap her head around it, how could a young child?
Crap. How was she going to tell Jed? What was he going to think? She seriously doubted he would be cool with her carrying another man’s child. Especially, if it was his brother’s. Would this cause problems between Darren and Jed?
She pulled at the hair on top of her head.
How was she going to pay for all this? She wasn’t financially ready for a baby.
She’d always imagined she would be going through this with a partner.
Shit. It was more important than ever to sell her house in Taos.
With the baby, she was going to need more room.
And then there was her job. Would Dick let her continue to work, or would he fire her or cut her hours?
What was she going to do?
* * *
Jed
By the time he got to her place, everything imaginable had gone through his head as to why she would be upset.
Cutter let him in as soon as he hit the landing.
He told the prospect he could go, and he would take over.
Walking past the kitchen table, he saw her purse.
It looked like she’d dropped it in a hurry, and some of the contents had fallen out, including her phone. No wonder she didn’t answer.
He went down the hall and stopped outside the closed bathroom door.
He took a moment, then knocked. “Sadie. It’s Jed.
” No response. “Sadie. I’m coming in.” He tried the knob and discovered it was unlocked.
He slowly opened the door in case she was taking a shit or something that might cause her embarrassment.
His body jolted at what he found. She was sitting on the floor, leaning against the tub, tears streaming down her face.
She looked like she was in a trance, and it scared the hell out of him.
He dropped to his knees in front of her.
“Sadie?” She didn’t even blink. He reached out to touch her knee, and she startled, blinking several times.
“Jed?” she frowned, confused.
“I tried calling you, and you didn’t answer. I was worried.”
“Oh. Yeah. Sorry.” She looked around on the floor, her lap, and the counter, trying to find her phone.
“It’s in the kitchen.”
“Oh.” She wiped at her cheeks and sniffled loudly.
He tore off a wad of toilet paper and handed it to her. She blew her nose then tossed it in the wastebasket between the toilet and sink. She still didn’t speak. What the fuck? She was starting to scare him.
“Are you all right? Did something happen at the doctor's office to make you upset?” For the life of him, he still couldn’t figure out what could have happened. “Did Tinker find you? Threaten you?”
Tears started falling again as she shook her head. “No. I didn’t see Tinker.”
Why the fuck did she look so devastated? Like her world was shattered? Was it her head? “Is it your head?”
“No.” She cried harder. “It’s not my head.”
“Then what is it? What is going on? Why are you so upset?”
She raised tear-filled eyes to his and said the last two words he ever expected her to say. “I’m pregnant.”
He thought he momentarily lost his hearing and his vision tunneled. His chest felt like someone had hit him with a sledgehammer, and it was hard to breathe. Everything came to a screeching halt as he fell back on his ass. “I’m sorry. Did you say you’re pregnant?”
“Yes,” she nodded. “I,” he cut her off before she could say anything else.
“How can you be pregnant? We used a condom every single time, and I check it every single time I take it off for breaks.” He jumped to his feet, his hands grasping painfully at his hair.
How could this be? He’d guaranteed he would never be able to get a woman pregnant.
And, again, he wore a condom for God’s sake!
“I know.” She tried again. She slowly got to her feet, fear and sorrow mingling in her eyes.
“I’m guessing you found out at your doctor's appointment?” He dropped his shaking hands to his hips.
“Jed,” she tried again, this time with her hands up like she was trying to calm a wild animal. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, and son of a bitch, he did look like a wild animal. His eyes were wide, his face was pale except for the two bright red spots on his cheeks.
“I can’t believe you cheated on me.” He spun around and stormed out of the bathroom.
He could hear her coming after him. He spun around again so quickly, she almost ran into him.
“What was all that talk about being exclusive?” He threw his hands out to his sides.
“I see how it is. I have to be faithful while you go around fucking everyone else.” Had he been in his right mind, he might have registered how hard that remark had hit her, but as it was, he was losing his mind.
He was reacting out of hurt and fear, not thinking about how his words were affecting Sadie.
“You think I cheated on you?”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I think. I know for a fact that it ain’t mine because I can’t have kids.” His body leaned down, forcing her to back up a step.
She jerked in surprise. “What?”
“When I was eighteen, I got my girlfriend pregnant. She’d been my girlfriend all through high school, and we’d planned on getting married after graduation.
She ended up pregnant halfway through our senior year.
We had a little girl. We named her Lizbet, but we called her Little Bit.
She was born with a tumor on her heart. They said due to its location, they couldn’t risk surgery until she got older and a little bigger.
The problem was that the tumor grew faster than she did.
I won’t bore you with all the details, but right after she turned one year old, the tumor won.
So, when I say I can’t have kids, I mean I had a vasectomy so I could never have kids again.
So, yeah, there’s no way that kid is mine. ”
“Jed, I never said it was,” he cut her off again.
“You know what? I think it’s best we end things here.
Yeah.” He nodded his head. “We’re done.” He couldn’t deal with this anymore.
He had to get out of there so he could breathe again.
Without a backward glance, he turned and left.
He slammed the door behind him and all but ran down the stairs to hop in his truck.
As soon as he started it, he rolled down all the windows, needing the air.
Fuck! He couldn’t breathe. “Goddamn it!” He slapped the wheel. He’d kill to be on his bike right now.
The farther he drove from Sadie’s, the better he started to feel. He didn’t know whose baby she was carrying, but it wasn’t his, and it wasn’t his problem.
So why did her betrayal hurt so badly?