Chapter 12 #2
“Honestly, I haven’t talked to her a whole lot about this. She’ll have questions, and I don’t have answers yet. That’s what I’m doing here. Getting a feel for where your head is at.”
“What kind of questions do you have?” She tucked her legs up to her side and leaned into the side of the recliner.
“Will you let me come with you to the doctor's appointments?” His clasped hands tightened as he waited for her answer.
A ‘V’ formed between her brows, surprised at his question. “You would want to do that?”
“Absolutely. And I would really like to be there for the birth if you’ll let me.
” His knee started to bounce, showing he was as nervous as she was.
Seeing this big man anticipating that she might not let him be a part of something so special broke her heart.
How could she deny him that? The baby was part his, too.
She would never try to cut him out of anything involving the baby. She just wasn’t that kind of person.
“Yes, of course. If that’s what you want and Kylie’s okay with it.”
“I know that we’re finding our way here, but you don’t have to worry about Kylie. She will support me in whatever I need to do.”
She wasn’t so sure about that, but she hoped Darren was right. She didn’t want to have to fight Kylie at every turn when she and Darren needed to deal with something about their child.
“How do you see this parenting thing working?” She waved her hand between them.
He scooted closer to the edge of his seat and her. “Full disclosure?”
“Yes. Full disclosure. I want to know what you’re thinking.” Should she brace herself?
“I’m thinking I want to take care of my child in every way I can. That’s just the kind of man I am, the kind of father I want to be. I want to pay all your medical bills from now to the delivery.”
Yes, she should have braced herself. “You can’t do that! Do you know how expensive that’s going to be without insurance?” Her feet hit the floor as she straightened in her seat.
“Yes, I’m getting an idea of how much it costs with Kylie.” He frowned as a thought occurred to him. “How did you plan on paying for it without insurance?”
Her cheeks flushed, and her eyes dropped, suddenly embarrassed to admit what she was planning to do. “I was going to sign up for public assistance.”
A muscle ticked in Darren’s jaw, clearly unhappy with this news. “There’s no need to do that. I spoke to Race, and he said he never took you off our insurance."
“What? But I don't work there anymore, and I haven't been paying any premiums.”
Darren smiled. “Apparently, he figured if Jed hadn't taken you off the schedule, you would still be working there, and you would still have insurance. The club has been paying the premiums and will continue to do so. I'll pay all out-of-pocket expenses with the baby.”
“I can’t let you do that.” She was uncomfortable with him spending so much money. She felt like it would be taking advantage of him and his generosity.
“Look at it as payback for Jed letting you go at Bottoms Up.”
She snorted. “I would’ve had to quit anyway.” She pointed at her stomach.
“Just go with it, Sadie. Please. Let me do this.”
Her teeth sank into her bottom lip as she fought with her pride. In the end, to refuse his help would only hurt herself. “Darren, I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
“Sadie, you’re not taking advantage of me. If things were different and we were a couple who had been together for a while, I would be doing this for my woman. Providing for my child.”
“But I’m not your woman.”
“No, but you’re the mother of my child, and I would like to think we’re friends.
” His expression was so sincere, she couldn’t detect any falsehoods or ill intentions.
He glanced away, then back, as if debating on what he wanted to say next.
“This might sound strange, but the two of us experienced something that connected us in a way no one will ever understand. I don’t know how to explain it.
” He shook his head. “Even before I found out you were carrying my child, I considered you a friend. And I look out for my friends.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
"I really don't know how to explain it. I'm probably not finding the right words here. "
Biting into her bottom lip, she watched him closely, knowing exactly what he meant.
“I know what you mean. It’s weird, but I feel it, too.
And I will accept your help with the insurance and medical bills.
What else were you thinking?” Accepting his help would take a big burden off her mind and save her a lot of money while allowing him some peace of mind that he was taking care of his child.
“I would like to be an active participant in raising the baby. I want to be a part of the good stuff and the bad.”
“How will that work?”
“I’m not sure, but we have time to figure out the details. I know I want to share custody with you.”
Her heart stuttered at the word ‘custody.’ Did he plan on taking her to court?
Was he going to lull her into a false sense of contentment, then bam!
Take her child away from her? She was sure that being part of a biker club, they had connections with lawyers, judges, and even the police.
The Phantoms had a whole slew of them to do their dirty work.
They kept them out of jail and, in one instance, helped take away the baby from one of the club whores one of the brothers had knocked up.
He didn’t even want the baby; he just didn’t want her to have it, so he wouldn’t have to pay child support.
His mom ended up raising the child, and he had very little to do with it. Panic blossomed in her chest.
“Sadie? What’s going through your head right now?”
“You’re not going to try and take my baby away from me, are you?” she blurted.
Darren’s brows hit his hairline. “God no! I would never do that. You are its mother.”
“What about Kylie? How is she going to feel about you spending time with a child you had with someone else? Or having to interact with me? Will she want you to try for full custody?”
Darren’s lips thinned, his gaze intent as he pinned her with his stare.
“Kylie would never suggest that, and even for some crazy ass reason she would even ask that, I would tell her no. It is not an option.” He waited for his words to sink in before he continued.
“She will love this baby because it is a part of me. I know you don’t know her all that well, but I swear to you, she’s a good and loving person.
” He tried to lighten the conversation a little when he teased.
“She has to be to put up with Tuck and me and everything we’ve put her through. ”
Sadie hoped he was right, but she found it hard to believe Kylie would be so accepting of her being a part of their lives, even if it was from the outside and through a connection she shared with Darren.
“Has all that sunk in? You believe me?”
She gave it a minute and nodded. “Yes. I believe you.” Or at least, she believed that he believed it was true.
“Good. I need you to trust that I’ll always have your back, with or without this child, and that I have no intention of taking this baby away from you. Not now. Not in the future.” He reached out and clasped her hand in his. “Do you trust me, Sadie?’
God help her, but she did. Hadn’t he proved he was a kind man, a man of his word, when they were being held captive together? Just because she trusted him didn’t mean she had to trust Kylie, though. “Yes. I trust you.”
“Okay.” He squeezed her hand and leaned back a little. “Now, I want to talk about child support. After the baby is born, I will be paying it, and I will be keeping him or her on my insurance.” He dipped his head to better see her. “What’s wrong?”
“Why are you making this so easy?” Did she sound suspicious?
“Why does it have to be difficult? I want us to be friends. If we’re friends and act like friends around each other, it will be better for our child, don’t you think?”
“Yes.” Was this man for real? She couldn’t help wondering what the catch was.
“Good. I don’t want to be like one of those couples that argue and fight in front of their children all the time, and the kids grow up to be little assholes.”
A bark of laughter slipped out at that imagery. “I don’t either.”
“Okay. Moving on, and this might sound like it’s coming out of nowhere, but have you thought about moving? These stairs will be hell carrying a baby up and down them, not to mention they’re dangerous when they freeze over, as I'm sure you've discovered already.”
Her cheeks flushed with guilt. What she was going to say was likely to piss him off, and all the good ‘getting along’ vibes were going to shatter. “Yes. I’ve been thinking about moving to one of the neighboring towns.” She didn’t miss the way his posture straightened as if she’d slapped him.
“Can I ask why?”
Her mouth shifted to the side as she contemplated how best to say what she wanted to say.
Believing it best to yank the band-aid off, she went for it.
“I know you believe Kylie is going to be okay with all this, but as a woman, I’m telling you she’s not.
She’s going to feel jealous and insecure, not so much because of the baby, but because of me.
She is not going to like sharing you with me, even if it is only as the father of my child.
We will be in each other's lives for a very long time.” He didn’t look convinced.
“Look, it’ll be better for her, too, if she doesn’t have me and my pregnancy thrown in her face every time she runs into me.
And it’ll be easier to avoid,” she stopped herself, realizing she was revealing too much about how she felt about Jed.
“Jed. You don’t want to be running into Jed either,” Darren guessed.
“Yes.”