Chapter 13
Jed
Last night was the club’s Christmas party.
It was always held on the twenty-third every year, so it didn’t interfere with their ability to spend time with their families.
Race always made it a huge affair. The place was decorated to the hilt, the tree was decked out and lit, and he always had the food catered and brought in.
It was his gift to the old ladies so they could sit back and enjoy the party without having to worry about making sure there was enough food to go around.
He also had a strict cutoff time for the party of one a.m. All the brothers, every single one, including Race himself, cleaned the place before they left.
A few single brothers lived there full-time and it wasn’t fair to leave the mess for them.
Jed usually looked forward to the party, but this year he found he wasn’t in the mood to celebrate or have a good time.
Tonight, like last night, he was spending his time in front of the computer monitors, giving him a clear view of the inside of Sadie’s apartment.
Yes, he was only supposed to be watching the outdoor cameras, but he thought, fuck it.
It was Christmas Eve, and he wanted to see how they were doing since this was their first Christmas without Sadie’s brother and Oliver’s father.
Finding out he was part of the reason Sadie was looking into leaving Redemption had both stung and freaked him out. Because of that, he had been doing a lot of soul searching. He finally had to admit to himself that he missed her and Oliver. Missed them more than he could have imagined.
When she told him she was pregnant, he’d had a knee-jerk reaction that resulted in him spewing a bunch of hateful, mean shit that he regretted. She didn’t deserve it, and it wasn’t her fault that he had a past that still haunted him today.
He reached for his phone and went to his photo gallery.
His finger hovered over the folder he only opened once a year, on Lizbet’s birthday.
He tapped to open the folder. Just like every time he allowed himself to go through the pictures of his Little Bit, his heart broke.
She was a beautiful little girl. She had curly blonde hair and cornflower blue eyes like her mother.
Well, at least until they started chemo to try and shrink the tumor.
Fuck, he missed his little girl. He batted his eyes against the tears and had to clear his throat.
Unable to handle not being able to watch her grow up and wondering what she would look like now, he got out of the folder and clicked on another.
This time, the picture was the first one he took of Sadie, and she was sleeping.
They'd taken her bedding to the laundromat, and she'd stubbornly refused to take anything for her migraine.
She'd also been jealous when another woman openly flirted with him, even though there was nothing between him and Sadie at the time.
One side of his mouth hitched up as he remembered how riled he'd gotten her.
He backed out of the folder and placed his phone on the desk.
He kicked his booted feet up on the corner of the desk and settled in, prepared to stay up all night watching over Sadie and Oliver. He turned his focus to watching the two of them sitting on the couch watching Christmas movies, drinking hot chocolate, and eating popcorn and cookies.
He turned the volume on to listen to the movie along with them.
It was kind of like being with them, but not.
They were both dressed in their Christmas pajamas, and Oliver looked adorable in his.
They were red with green Christmas trees and wreaths on them.
He was snuggled into Sadie’s side as they sat on the couch.
“Sadie?”
“Yes, honey?” Sadie gently ran her fingers through his hair.
“I miss Dad.” Her eyes closed, and her fingers stilled.
She cleared her throat before she answered. “I know. I do, too.” She dropped her arm around his shoulders and squeezed him.
Fuck. Jed’s heart broke for them. The poor bastard would never get to see how amazing Oliver turned out.
Sadie was doing an amazing job with him and would do an amazing job with Darren’s child, too.
One side of his mouth tipped up when he thought about how she held her own with Kylie and gave her shit right back.
The next words out of Oliver's mouth had his half-grin slipping from his face.
“I miss having Dad with us on Christmas Eve and waking up with us Christmas morning. He would make chocolate chip pancakes with lots of whipped cream from the can. Do you remember that?” He tipped his head back to see her face.
“Yes. I do remember that. He made really good chocolate chip pancakes.” She leaned down and kissed the top of his head.
They sat in silence, watching the movie for a few minutes before Oliver spoke again. “Where’s Jed? How come he doesn’t come around anymore?”
Sadie didn’t immediately reply, probably trying to come up with a way to say “because he was a dick and broke things off with me.”
“Well, he’s had a lot to do with the club since it’s Christmas time. He’s been busy.”
Her white lie made him feel like even more of a heel.
“I thought he was your boyfriend.” Oliver’s innocent comment shot an arrow through his heart.
“I don’t know what we were, but I think it’s over, honey.” She kept her eyes on the movie, her hand gently squeezing his.
“I miss Jed.” Damn. The kid was killing him.
“Me, too, kiddo.”
Oliver turned back to the movie and took a bite out of his cookie. When he was finished chewing, he asked, “Are you okay?”
“Yes. I’m good. You don’t have to worry about me.” Did she really have any other choice? It wasn’t like she had anyone she could turn to with her concerns or fears. And whose fault was that?
The movie finished, and it was time for bed. “Okay. It’s time to hit the sack. Santa won’t come if you don’t go to sleep.” That got a smile out of Oliver.
He hurried to help her bring their dishes to the kitchen, then headed off for bed, leaving Jed to imagine what it would be like to wake up with them in the morning.
He might not be there in person, but he would be watching through the monitors as they both unwrapped their presents. He could hardly wait.
It was an hour later when he saw Sadie sneaking down the hall, her arms full of presents to slip under the tree.
She headed back to her room only to come back with more presents.
He laughed out loud as he watched her make a third trip.
How much money did she spend on that kid?
He bet she’d dipped into her savings to pay for it.
With Sadie safely in bed, it was time to settle in and keep a sharp eye out. It would be just like Tinker to try and break in again, ruining their Christmas. He almost wished he did so he could end things once and for all.
He got up and threw a popcorn packet in the microwave, and made himself a cup of coffee. When it was done popping, he pulled it out and juggled it across the room, tossing it on the desk.
He almost couldn’t wait to see what happened in the morning when Oliver got up to see what Santa brought. Given the kid’s enthusiasm for just about everything, he was sure it would be entertaining.
He was proven right several hours later. Oliver tore through his presents, each one more exciting than the one before. Sadie smiled and took pictures or videos through it all. It was clear to see that his happiness and excitement brought her great joy.
He finished unwrapping his last gift and frowned. Did he not like it? Oliver crawled over to the tree and seemed to be searching for something. He pulled out the wrapped present meant for Jed and looked to Sadie.
“Where are your presents, Sadie?”
“Um. Santa brings presents to little boys and girls. Adults are the ones who buy for each other.” She bit her bottom lip. “Your dad was the one who always bought for me.”
“And he’s gone and can’t buy for you anymore.” He set Jed’s present back under the tree, then got up and went to wrap his arms around his aunt’s neck. She pulled him onto her lap and hugged him tight.
“I’m sorry you didn’t have any presents to open. I should have let you open one of mine.”
Her strangled laugh choked Jed up.
Oliver suddenly jerked back. “Oh my gosh! I almost forgot!” He jumped up and disappeared out of camera range, only to reappear holding a small package wrapped in silver paper and a red bow. “I got this for you at our school Christmas store!”
Sadie accepted the gift he held out and slowly opened it. Jed couldn’t see what it was, but whatever it was caused her to cry.
“Don’t you like it, Sadie?” His face fell, unsure of her reaction. He probably thought he had done something wrong.
She wiped her tears from her cheeks as she held the gift to her chest. “Yes. I love it. It’s exactly what I wanted.” She pulled him in for a hug and kissed his cheek.
“My teacher said you can clip it onto your book so you always have enough light when you’re reading.” He all but hopped up and down.
“She’s right. I love it, Oliver. Thank you so much.”
After that, the little boy dove into his toys as Sadie cut each one from its packaging. They might both be smiling and having a good time now, but Jed knew her brother Ryan was never far from their thoughts.
He fucked up. Now he had to figure out how to fix it.
* * *
Tinker
“Brrrr!” He jumped into the truck and slammed the door. As soon as he started it up, he cranked the heat on full blast. Son of a bitch, it was cold. He rubbed his hands together, then blew on them, mentally reminding himself he needed to buy some gloves. Putting it in drive, he headed for the exit.