Chapter Fifteen #2
He placed the walkie talkie in the shade at the side of the house for now. He knew how to work one of these. His brothers and sisters and him had had sets similar to this one. Probably not as sophisticated.
For a second he felt the tug of emotion at thinking about his four younger siblings, but he clamped down on it.
He’d told them, just like he’d told Jenna, to just go on with life without him.
He’d meant it and he had never accepted any phone calls, letters, or visits from them.
It was just too painful and embarrassing for him to have them see their oldest brother behind bars.
Family was a wound he’d learned not to touch.
“Well, I did warn you. You can only push Jenna so far and then she’ll snap like a snapping turtle,” Axel stated.
Nick nodded.
“I do like this side of her. Very sexy,” Nick said.
Axel grinned in response but kept his thoughts to himself. He was well aware of Nick’s interest in Jenna, and he suspected it wouldn't be long before Jenna realized it too.
He could hardly wait to see her reaction!
* * * * *
Jenna hit the trail with Midnight, the hot, humid rush of air against her face made her feel freer than she had in awhile.
With her baby safe, nestled inside her abdomen as they rode, she felt a flutter of relief.
Riding was something she hadn’t realized she’d been craving today.
She remembered asking her nurse practitioner, almost the moment she’d found out she was pregnant, if she’d still be able to ride.
Riding meant control, escape, and a place to breathe.
Now, as Midnight’s steady gait carried her along the green trail and deeper into the woods, Jenna let herself replay what had just happened back at the house.
A half-smile tugged at her lips, thinking about the shock on their faces when she’d shown them her rifle.
She hadn’t wanted to be so brazen, but she’d needed to be clear.
Relief flooded her again, stronger this time, that there’d been no argument. Axel’s easy acceptance of the walkie talkie, no judgment or questions, lingered in her mind and made her feel seen in a way she hadn’t expected.
But as the house disappeared from view, Jenna’s relief gave way to a prickle of anxiety. The woods pressed in close around them, the quiet was almost too much after the tension.
She reminded herself, fiercely, that she hadn’t lied to the guys. She would shoot first if she had to. Protecting her baby was the line she wouldn’t let anyone cross. The thought of keeping her baby safe no matter what, didn’t scare her; it steadied her, gave her purpose.
The scent of pine hung heavy in the muggy air as Midnight picked her way along the meandering dirt path she and Tim had created.
There had been good times in her marriage. He had helped her on occasion in marking trails and helping train the horses. Usually it happened when she was away working.
It was as if he’d been doing things in secret so he could get a happy reaction out of her. So he could be validated by her, instead of doing the job of validating himself.
Jenna reached down and patted the mare’s neck, grateful for her calm nature.
She tried to focus on the familiar rhythm of the ride, mentally reviewing her training notes for each horse at Bear Valley Ranch.
She and Tim had always kept the herd small, just enough for the two of them to manage.
But with Axel and Nick’s help, that could now change.
Maybe…she let herself imagine for a moment too that she and her child could truly build a life here, one with room for her to grow and heal.
She realized then, through the ache of loss, that she wasn’t alone anymore. She’d lost Sam and Tim, but now there was Axel and Nick. It was unexpected, but real and a small hope flickered, fragile but alive.
Upon thinking of Sam and Tim, grief rose up sharp and sudden.
She remembered Sam’s excitement with her baked goods, his eyes so bright and cheerful it could lighten her hardest day.
She saw Tim’s steady hand as he guided a nervous horse off the trailer and into their yard.
The way he’d whisper calmly and never rushing.
Those memories pressed against her chest until the tears came. Jenna didn’t try to stop them. She let the sorrow wash through her, let herself cry for what she’d lost, for the old life that would never return.
This, more than anything, was why she needed to be alone today. To grieve Sam and Tim, without holding back.
Grieving hurt. It was relentless and gnawing through her every fibre. But after losing her parents, Jenna knew there was no way around it. She had to move through the pain, let it engulf her, until it finally loosened its grip, which of course took time.
It didn’t feel good, not for a second, but she trusted the process that worked for her and she knew that eventually, she wouldn’t be so sad, just like it had been with her parents.
* * * * *
“That woman of yours is one hard worker,” Nick remarked to Axel, nodding towards Jenna as she led her third horse into the barn. His voice had dropped instinctively, even though Jenna was far out of earshot, as if the compliment held a secret significance between them.
The two men had paused for a break, sitting side by side in the relentless sunshine atop the boards they’d fastened to the roof brackets. Their water bottles, slick with condensation, were cool in their hands. It was a small relief from the late morning heat.
Nick noticed Axel’s lips curl into a pleased smile at his words as they kept an eye on the barn. The pleased curl of Axel’s mouth sent a warm ache through Nick’s chest. He loved seeing Axel proud of her.
“She always has been a hard worker. She comes from good stock. Her parents were the best couple I ever met. They were kind-hearted, gentle. I never saw them argue, not once. It was like they shared some secret language, always knowing what the other felt. Being around them, you just felt embraced. You know what I mean?” Axel’s tone was soft, as if he were lost in the memory of Jenna’s family.
He didn’t answer that question. At least, not out loud.
Instead, Nick nodded, gripping his water bottle tighter, the plastic crinkling under the pressure of his hand, grounding him as his own old memories were stirred up like ghosts. He watched the sunlight shift across the grass swaying gently around the barn, turning Axel’s words over in his mind.
Embraced. Did he know what that felt like?
The description hit him like a foreign language. Gentle, kind, arguing-free parents were something he’d only seen on TV. A hollow ache opened inside him. He’d spent his whole life needing that feeling of being wanted and never quite finding it.
Instead, Nick focused on the twinkling beads of water dripping from his bottle.
Axel was the only person who had ever made him feel like he truly belonged to someone.
The truth of it settled heavy in his chest. Yes, it had been a rough beginning between the two of them behind bars, but he’d come to realize that Axel had been his anchor in a world that had never wanted him.
He kept those thoughts to himself, letting the quiet between them speak volumes.
He needed to change the subject, to shift away from memories and feelings that lingered too close for comfort.
Suddenly, Daisy darted out from beneath the shade of an old cork oak tree and disappeared into the neighbouring forest, her energy a stark contrast to the heaviness in Nick’s chest. Her sudden burst of energy snapped him out of his thoughts, a reminder that life kept moving whether he was ready or not.
“Sad about Sam though,” Nick said, his voice rough with emotion for a man he’d never met but had hoped to know. He swallowed hard. There was grief for a man he’d never met, grief for the dog who’d lost her world, and grief for Jenna who kept losing people she loved.
“Yeah, that’s a bit hit for Jenna. I was looking forward to meeting him,” Axel replied.
Nick nodded. They got quiet again, each lost in their own thoughts again.
A couple of minutes later, Nick cleared his throat, determined to push past the emotions before continuing.
“When you were in the bathroom with Jenna, the lawyer mentioned Sam’s nephew.
Apparently, Sam didn’t think the nephew would be interested in receiving anything from him.
That Sam and his brother had had a falling out when they were young.
Sam and his wife didn’t have kids, so he felt Jenna was the right fit for his farm.
Maybe the lawyer shouldn’t have told me all that, but she got all flustered when Jenna fell ill and she just started spilling things.
” Nick shrugged, rolling his shoulders to ease the muscle aches from the day’s labour.
“Let’s hope she doesn’t make it a bad habit of sharing personal details between her clients,” Axel mumbled.
Nick nodded.
Speaking of personal business, did you not figure out Jenna is pregnant? he almost asked, but he pressed his lips together.
The question hovered on his tongue, heavy and dangerous. He knew one slip could shatter everything. He’d promised to keep his mouth shut about it and he’d meant it.
How will you react when you find out? Nick wondered, watching Axel’s gaze linger on the barn door. It was clear Axel’s attention was fixed on Jenna, who was now leading a horse back out, saddled and ready. In a single, effortless motion, she mounted and nudged the horse toward the trail.
Will you welcome the news, or will you turn away? Like my parents turned away from me, favouring drugs and alcohol.
Nick ran a finger over the rough edge of the plank, tension climbing his spine at the thought of his parents. A familiar darkness crept in. The sting of neglect, the bruises, the cigarette burns hidden beneath his tattoos, the shouts or silence where love should have been.
He had no clue what had happened to them after he’d been put into foster care. He didn’t want to know. As far as he was concerned they’d abandoned him. They were dead to him.
One thing was certain: he would never let an innocent child feel unwanted.
He knew that pain intimately. Knew the sting of careless words, the absence of affection, and the bruises left by neglect.
He’d never been given hugs or kisses. At least none that he could remember. Only sharp slaps and whippings.
No, Axel wouldn’t turn his back on Jenna or her baby. Nick was sure of that.
“Hey, let’s get a move on. If this heat keeps up, we’ll get rain tonight,” Axel said, reaching for his shingle stripper.
The simple command steadied him. Axel always knew how to pull him back from the edge.
“Damn workhorse, aren’t you?” Nick teased, finishing his water and grabbing his own tool. The hot plank pressed into his hands as he pushed himself upright, eyes following Axel’s strong, confident movements as he pried up the shingles.
Magnificent muscles flexed in the man’s arms and sweat darkened the back of his white t-shirt.
Nick grinned, feeling the spark of anticipation hum beneath his skin. Heat curled low in his belly. This man was a walking temptation.
Tonight, this man is going to be in my bed.
A slow, wicked thrill unfurled inside him. The promise of having Axel’s body against his was enough to make his pulse quicken. He almost groaned out loud as his cock quickly swelled at the thought of having Axel in his arms after a hard day of labor.
“Don’t hear any complaints when this workhorse is pleasuring you,” Axel said, throwing Nick a wink. The wink hit him like a spark. It was playful, familiar, and charged with everything they didn’t say out loud.
Nick shook his head, laughter spilling out of him, pushing away those dark thoughts of his dysfunctional parents as he joined Axel in ripping up the shingles, his hands working in rhythm with his partner’s.
No, he never had complaints about Axel. The man was a force, bold and generous with his pleasure.
It made him wonder if Axel might ever make the fantasy of a threesome come true and invite him to share in his intimacy with Jenna, if and when they got together.
The fantasy wasn’t just lust for Nick. It was longing, the hope of belonging to something bigger than himself.
Would he be welcomed, not as an outsider, but as part of something new. A part of them?
Heat rushed through him. It was a wicked pulse that settled low and urgent.
He fought the desire to press his palms against his burgeoning erection.
Forced himself to focus on the work before him, letting his anticipation blend with the sweat and sun and the promise of tonight’s hot literal roll in the hay with Axel.