Chapter Nineteen #2
The silence that followed had felt like rejection.
She’d asked Axel’s mother to talk to him about it too, knowing she went to visit him, reiterating there were no guarantees, but his mother had refused, stating that Axel had told her if she dared mention Jenna to him, he would refuse to see her again.
Jenna realized now that he’d been trying to protect her, and to protect his own heart. But it had been hard, not hearing back from him. Really hard.
She’d also reached out to Megan’s warden to suggest the program, hoping it might open a door for her. Yet Megan hadn’t submitted an application, her reasons too murky for Jenna to untangle.
Another burst of laughter, this time from Nick, drifted through the open window. The sound warmed Jenna’s heart. It appeared Axel and Nick’s easy camaraderie was being restored.
She was relieved and confused at the same time. She couldn’t help but wonder about her own place in Axel’s life.
What was she to him now after being in prison for so many years? And for having a male lover?
Jenna’s gaze returned to the golden fries crisping in the pan, the hissing of blistering oil punctuating her growing unease. The air was thick with the scent of salt and potatoes, and the comforting sounds of home. Thankfully, no morning sickness. Thankfully, it was gone. Thank God.
Yet beneath it all, her chest once again tightened with guilt. She drew a slow, shaky breath, feeling the weight. How could Axel ever forgive her for what she’d done in persuading him to put his trust in the system? Did she even deserve his forgiveness?
And why was this guilt suddenly resurfacing after all this time? The question lingered like smoke. Maybe being near him again had stirred up everything she’d tried to bury.
She turned to tossing the salad. Her hands moved automatically, but her mind churned, tangled in memories, desire, and the fear of wanting too much.
* * * * *
Nick reached for another heap of golden fries, the heat from the bowl warming his fingers and grounding him in a way nothing else had since he’d walked out of prison.
"Jenna, you’re a damn fine cook," he said as he scooped the fries out onto his plate with the supplied fork and grabbed his third hot sausage on a bun.
He wasn’t just being polite. This was real food, real flavor, real care. It felt like a luxury he still didn’t know how to accept.
The scent of Jenna’s kitchen, rich with frying oil and salt, was a freedom he swore he wouldn’t ever take for granted.
"Why, thank you, sir. I learned everything from my mom and from Axel's mom," Jenna answered, her eyes softened at his praise. The moment she mentioned Axel’s mother, something shuttered behind Axel’s eyes. It was a familiar, silent ache that Nick had seen too many times on visiting days.
He caught the way Jenna’s gaze flickered, ever so briefly, toward Axel. It was almost as if she was searching for something in his reaction.
But Axel merely nodded, his mouth a thin line, his eyes shadowed at the mention of his mother. No flicker of a smile, no warmth. Just that unreadable wall.
Nick’s stomach tightened. He wondered if Axel was thinking about his mother’s visits. He’d always get tense on visiting day. And then sad after she left.
Axel had told him how he’d warned his mother to never speak of Jenna to him because if she did, she was not welcome to visit him again. And all those letters Jenna had written to him that he’d never opened. They were up in the loft, stashed at the bottom of Axel’s duffel bag.
The memory of those untouched envelopes tugged at him. They were a pile of words Axel hadn’t been ready to face. So many times Nick’s fingers had itched to open them and read what Jenna had written to him, but it was private. It would be up to Axel to read those letters if he ever did.
A breeze slipped through the kitchen window, carrying with it the scent of Jenna.
The faint sweetness of her shampoo hit him like a punch.
It was subtle, clean, and impossibly distracting and each time he caught her aroma, the air hummed a little brighter and his senses sparkled and his cock hardened even more.
Nick chewed his third sausage on a bun slowly. He wasn’t wolfing it down like the previous two, as he’d been ravenous. He was savoring this sausage, watching Jenna’s hands as she brushed a stray strand of hair out of her sky blue colored eyes.
He wondered how Axel had ever been able to walk away from a woman like her. He couldn’t fathom it. If he’d ever had a woman like her, he’d have held onto her with both hands.
They said best friends sometimes fell for the same woman. Nick hadn’t believed it, until it had happened to him. Until the ache in his chest reminded him that he wanted Axel’s woman.
He didn’t think he would ever be able to stop looking at her. His gaze kept drifting to her mouth, those pretty pink lips, then downward along the delicate curve of her neck.
The kitchen seemed smaller with her in it. Every colour in the room was a little more vivid.
When she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, Nick’s heart pounded in his chest as he again remembered finding the two of them together just inside the doorway of the barn.
Her naked. Axel on his knees, clenching her hips. His head between her thighs. The slurping sounds as he ate her. Her moans as she enjoyed.
And here she was acting perfectly normal as if nothing had happened. As if she’d wanted it to happen, as Axel had suggested.
Maybe things were going to be okay. A small, dangerous spark flickered in his chest. Hope. It was as thin as a thread of smoke but impossible to ignore. Maybe Jenna and Axel would get back together.
Sure, it wouldn’t be like before, but maybe better.
Maybe different…maybe he’d be included?
Laughter cracked through Nick’s thoughts, and he was startled as Axel kicked his ankle beneath the table.
Axel’s foot hitting him was no accident. It was an old prison signal, and old warning to pay attention.
"Can you pass the mustard, relish, onions and the ketchup?" Axel asked, his voice easy, but Nick caught the edge beneath it.
He tried to steady his hands as he slid the tray that held all the condiments, but his fingers suddenly felt clumsy as he became aware of Jenna’s intense gaze on him.
Did she know what he’d been thinking?
Nick blinked, his daydream disintegrating. In the past, before being incarcerated he’d always considered himself a gentleman with a woman. But being near Jenna made him feel stripped bare and exposed. Made him primal. An animal who wanted to claim his mate.
Did she suspect he fantasized about her? A flush crept up his neck. If she knew the truth, would she be horrified… or intrigued?
Jenna was smiling at him now. Her blue eyes were bright with something he couldn’t name. Did she want him, like he wanted her?
He slid the condiments toward Axel, who grinned crookedly. It was the kind of grin that Nick remembered from times in prison when laughter was their only rebellion behind bars.
Sometimes, when they’d been given hot dogs for lunch or for supper in prison, the sharp tang of mustard and the sweet, vinegary punch of ketchup would hang heavy in the cramped air.
Nick remembered how he and Axel used to share private jokes about drenching each other in condiments, of licking the sticky sauces off one another’s cocks.
The laughter that followed would echo off the cold, tiled walls, making the shadows in their prison feel a little less suffocating.
He had to admit that their laughter was a fleeting comfort amidst the metallic clatter and distant shouts of men.
Now, Axel’s gaze flickered as he looked at Nick. It was sharp and assessing. His pulse kicked. Axel missed nothing, especially when it came to him.
Had he caught Nick staring at Jenna?
His heart began to pound, uncertainty mingling with a flush of excitement. Was the kick beneath the table a warning to mind himself, or perhaps it was a dare, challenging him to step forward into unfamiliar territory?
Nick couldn’t be sure. What he did know was that he wanted Jenna. That wanting felt dangerous, like the edge of a blade or the charge before a storm.
The sharp clink of cutlery against a glass ground Nick back to the present.
“Earth to the food hog. Can you pass the salad?” Axel asked. There was a crooked grin on his face as he watched Nick with curiosity.
Nick’s cheeks burned as he slid the salad bowl across the table, feeling like a fool for letting himself hope. There was no way Jenna would ever be interested in him.
She only had eyes for Axel. The thought settled heavy in his chest. Wanting her felt like wanting the sun, beautiful and impossible.
Nick had seen it in the way she leaned in when Axel spoke. The way her laughter seemed fuller, richer.
Yet something compelled him to glance up, heart thudding, only to find Jenna still watching him, her lips parted in a quiet, interested smile.
Holy crap. Was she interested in him?
Jenna’s voice reached him from across the table, gentle and melodic with an undercurrent of hesitancy, as if she were testing the waters, uncertain but hopeful.
“How long do you think it will take for the roof to be done?” she asked. Her words floated above the faint aroma of onions that drifted from the salad bowl. Her blue eyes held him, steady and bright.
Her voice wrapped around him, warm and tentative, and suddenly words felt like they were stuck somewhere behind his ribs. He fumbled for any word, collecting his scattered thoughts. The pressure of her gaze made him feel exposed, and well…tongue-tied.
Axel stepped in after a moment, his voice carrying an edge of practicality. Relief and disappointment tangled together. Axel always stepped in first, always filled the space Nick struggled to claim.
“I'm guessing it'll be sometime tomorrow, weather permitting,” Axel said.
“Or if we hustle, it can be done tonight,” Nick managed.
The words tumbled out before he could stop them. It was a clumsy attempt to prove he was worth noticing. He knew it would be brutal, hard work, but something in him wanted to prove himself to Jenna.
Axel stared at him, giving him an are you nuts? look.
“Weather permitting of course. I can go late to Sam’s place. Or we can bring it to a point where Axel can finish it, and I can go,” Nick added, steadying his tone.
“Or I could go to Sam’s place, alone,” Jenna offered, her voice now firmer, but still carrying that gentle note.
His stomach dropped. The idea of her out there alone made every protective instinct in him roar awake.
He glanced at Axel and saw him stiffen as well.
They knew it wasn’t safe for Jenna to go over there by herself.
If she went alone, they wouldn’t be there keeping an eye on her, timing her routine.
If that assailant was out there, watching and waiting for an opportunity, Sam’s place would be the perfect secluded spot for her to get jumped.
“I do have my gun. I can take Daisy. If something comes up, I have my cell phone and I can call you guys.” Jenna’s words were practical.
Nick caught a glimmer of defiance in her tone. He understood her desire for independence.
Despite what she wanted, Nick didn’t like the idea, and by the way Axel’s jaw tightened, he didn’t either.
The low hum of the refrigerator hung between the three of them.
Nick found himself breaking the silence.
“We don’t want to stifle your space, Jenna.
But staying here might be a safer option.
Just humor us for a few more days. Every time I go out to Sam’s or come back I’m checking around up there on the ridge for evidence of someone being around.
I haven’t seen any new tire tracks or footprints on the road.
I didn’t want to say anything, but let’s just wait this out awhile longer. ”
His voice came out steadier than he felt. He wasn’t trying to control her; he just couldn’t stomach the thought of something happening to her or her baby.
The words seemed to bring Axel to full attention and appeared to settle something in Jenna and her shoulders relaxed. She pursed those pretty lips of hers and to his surprise, she nodded.
“Thanks for looking out for me, Nick. Okay, let’s go with plan A.
You go later to Sam’s and Axel can finish up,” Jenna said, her voice a bit strained.
He didn’t blame her for being upset. But he noticed her shoulders soften, and something warm unfurled in his chest. She’d listened to him, trusted him.
She rose, gathering her plate. He watched the graceful line of her back, the quiet strength in her movements, and his heart thudded at the sound of ceramic hitting the countertop as she placed her dish there.
“I’ll wash the dishes and you guys can get back to it when you’re finished here,” she said, her voice clear over the splashing water as she turned on the tap.
Nick watched the curve of her shoulders and the easy rhythm of her movements, feeling a sudden swell of pride because Jenna had listened to him.
If Axel had suggested Jenna stay, sparks would have flown.
Yet he’d remained silent. She’d chosen to trust Nick’s advice.
That meant more than he could admit, even to himself.
He found himself thinking ahead, tracing the possibilities for tonight. For the first time in a long while, hope tasted like something real.
A plan was formulating in his mind. An idea that had suddenly flickered to life.
It was bold, risky, and exactly the kind of move that could change everything if he played it right.
It was something Axel wouldn’t see coming.
It was something that he hoped would secure their future here at Bear Valley Ranch.
For the first time in years, the future didn’t feel like a locked door. It felt like something he might actually reach.
Nick grinned and joined Axel in hurriedly polishing off the salad.