Chapter Twenty-Two
His thrusts became erratic, desperate.
“You belong to me, Jenna. Forever. Say it,” he suddenly snarled against her mouth. The words should have scared her, but instead they settled into her bones. This was not ownership. It was recognition. The truth of it vibrated through her. It was terrifying, exhilarating, and utterly real.
“I’m yours, forever. Forever yours,” she gasped between his kisses.
Her body tightened and then she was flying, her orgasm crashing over her with an insane speed she swore she just about lost her mind.
She cried out as the spasms engulfed her and Axel swallowed her cries with his mouth, his own release coming as his body tightened and her vagina began to milk his cock.
Jenna clung to him, as if her life depended on it, her body writhing beneath him, her breaths ragged as her climax continued to shatter her senses and her spasms pummelled her body.
She became lost inside the deep explosions of release, and she was loved by the incredible sensations.
She’d been lost and now she was loved.
“That’s it, just let it all go,” Axel said as their shudders slowed and he realized she was crying again. Her tears softened something inside him. It was a place he’d kept locked down for years, afraid it would break if he ever opened it again.
He realized now, how hard it had been for both of them being apart from each other.
For a long time, neither of them moved. The only sounds were the thunder cracking somewhere to the south now, the rain pounding on the roof, and Jenna’s soft sobs.
He released her wrists and pressed her into the mattress, his shaft still buried deep inside hers, his cock twitching with the last remnants of his release.
“You okay?” he asked, hoping her sobs were happy tears.
“I’m okay,” she whispered and turned her head, pressing a kiss to his shoulder, her lips brushing against his tattoo.
He lifted his head and searched her gaze. There was something vulnerable in her eyes. It was raw and exposed.
Shit. Not happy tears.
“What’s wrong?” he whispered feeling concern for her. Her being weepy after sex just wasn’t like her.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I insisted you go to the cops. I’m sorry I misread what they would do to you. Had I known I would have told you to run for your life and never look back,” she whispered.
Ah, now he understood.
He could read the guilt tangled with the layers of love for him and her guilt sliced through him like a knife.
She’d carried this weight alone, all these years, and he hated that she’d ever believed she was responsible for his choices.
He felt the old, familiar heaviness in his chest. It was the knowledge that he’d made his own bed, and she’d suffered for it too.
“Hey, I am the one totally at fault here. Never forget that. You know me. I would have turned myself in, no matter what you said. I had killed someone. I had to pay the price. Do you see that?”
She nodded, and he spied more tears.
“What else has got you upset?” he asked, needing to find out why she was still crying. He hoped she understood she had no reason to be guilty.
“And I’m pregnant.”
Axel hadn’t expected this confession to be coming out now. The words hit him like a jolt. They were unexpected, life-altering, and it was a truth that rearranged the entire landscape of his future in an instant.
“Um, baby doll. I don’t think it happens this quick. We’d need to wait a few weeks to be sure.” The joke slipped out instinctively. It was a small attempt to ease the fear he saw trembling in her eyes.
But he already knew the truth. Had suspected that first time she’d puked, and then her puking again when news came of Sam’s death. She just wasn’t the fainting or puking kind of girl.
Not his Jenna.
She shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. Then she reached up, her fingers tracing the line of his jaw. Her fingers on his skin felt like forgiveness. It was gentle, warm, and more intimate than anything they’d just shared.
She smiled. It was wobbly. But she smiled. That was a good sign.
“Not you, silly.”
“I know,” he replied.
“Nick told you? I asked him not to,” she said softly.
“Nick knows? Man, he kept your secret. Never said a word to me. Huh, he’s like a damned bank vault. I just suspected with you passing out and puking and when my palms swept over your abdomen and I felt the smallest little bump, I just knew.”
“Oh Axel, I’ll understand if you don’t want me. Don’t want me and the baby.”
Something fierce and protective surged through him. It was a certainty he hadn’t expected but felt down to his bones. He exhaled shakily, his forehead resting against hers. The tremor in her voice gutted him. She truly believed she could be unwanted, and that thought alone made his chest ache.
“Oh baby doll. I don’t deserve you. But you know me better than that. This baby is a part of you. This baby is ours. Of course I want the little pea. Oh, sorry, he or she is bigger than a pea. Maybe the size of a lemon? A peach?”
She gave him a wobbly smile.
“You don’t hate me?” Her big blue eyes were staring at him like he was some kind of god.
The question stunned him. Hate her? She was the one bright thing he’d ever had, the one person who’d believed in him when he didn’t believe in himself. She was pregnant and she was distraught. Of course she’d say things like that. She knew him better than this.
“Hey, I could never hate you. And I’m still here, aren’t I,” he replied with a low chuckle. Those words were the only reassurance he could come up with at the moment.
Jenna was pregnant. Hearing it out loud, just made it feel real.
Wow. A baby.
Jenna was going to have a baby. They were going to have a baby.
He was going to be a father. A dad to a little kid.
Oh boy.
This was going to take some time for him to wrap his head around being a dad. It was always something he’d wanted. Never had he imagined he would become one in this way. And with one foot still in prison, so to speak.
That his kid would know he was a felon, didn’t sit right, but despite that, he couldn’t help but smile as he began thinking about showing his kid, girl or boy, how to change the spark plugs, oil filter and oil on the tractor or the truck.
Teach the kid how to cook and bake. Take him or her fishing.
Teach them not to pull on the dog’s tail or her ears.
The images came unbidden. Small hands, curious eyes, teaching, guiding and for the first time in years, the future didn’t feel like a threat.
Oh wow, this was going to be so cool.
“Yeah. You’re here now,” Jenna breathed.
She was tired. He could hear it in her voice. Could feel it in the way her body was relaxing. Her breathing was softening against his chest, and a warmth spread through him. It was a quiet, fragile peace he hadn’t felt in over a decade.
And God help him, if he got sent back to prison, he knew he would die this time around without Jenna and their little baby.
He pushed that gut-wrenching fear aside.
He wanted that fragile peace growing inside of him.
Wanted it to stay. He listened to her breathing allowing it to wash over him like a lullaby.
Soft, gentle. Slow. Peaceful.
The storm was easing. The thunder grew more distant, and the rain was tapering off to a soft patter against the roof. He could hear the soft neighs from a couple of horses from the stable area.
They didn’t say anything anymore and her breaths became a slow, steady rhythm. She was asleep.
He grinned. She’d usually fall asleep after they made love. That hadn’t changed.
But she was pregnant. She’d confirmed what he’d suspected but hadn’t been willing to explore. Until now.
He had mixed emotions. Sad the baby wouldn’t biologically be his, but happy that Jenna was having a baby and he would take full responsibility. The baby would be his in every sense. He loved the kid already.
Slowly, he withdrew from her and then cradled her into his arms, one hand sliding to settle over that little bump and his heart just burst with love.
The tiny swell beneath his palm made his throat tighten.
This was real, this was happening, and he already felt connected to the life growing inside of her.
Little kid, I am your daddy and I love you already. How cool is that?
Jenna shifted against him and mumbled an I love you in her sleep.
The words hit him like a blow. Soft, unguarded, truer than anything spoken awake.
“Love you, too, babydoll,” he whispered back and he truly meant it from the core of his heart.
They lay there, naked, and exposed.
He thought about moving from her side and draping the sleeping bag over her, but he didn’t want to disturb her. He would be her blanket tonight.
He let his gaze roam over her body and studied the way her hair was fanned out on the pillow just like a waterfall, her face serene in sleep, her pretty lips parted every so slightly.
He studied her like a man starved, memorizing every freckle, every breath, every piece of the woman he’d thought he’d lost forever.
And the freckles on her shoulders. The freckles she’d never liked until he told her they were so beautiful and he loved them.
Oh man, he had really missed this.
How in hell had he survived twelve years in prison? And now it was over and Jenna was his reward.
The old guilt slithered back as it always did when he found some semblance of happiness.
He’d killed a man. He hadn’t meant to, but his anger had just demanded justice for his dad being paralyzed by thugs looking for protection money and his dad refusing to pay.
They’d beat him to within an inch of his life.
He’d wanted to do the same to those bastards.
Killing hadn’t been a part of the plan. Hell, who was he kidding. Anger never had a plan. It was entirely his fault and Jenna had paid the price too.