Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
DELLA
Leland is busy all day Sunday and into Monday afternoon.
I spend most of it in the house with Landis.
I’ve never felt a mix of dread and relief like this before.
Every few seconds, I hug Landis just to feel his little arms around me and remember he’s there.
Then, I remember I’m back in this house, and Leland’s foreboding steps could appear at any minute.
It’s torture.
I lay on the couch in the nursery and listen while Landis chatters. It hurts my heart how much he looks like his father, but it helps that he doesn’t act anything like him. I think he’s getting Kayleigh’s personality. That puts a smile on my face.
I feed Landis in the nursery. Then, while Georgie is putting him to bed, I steal down to the kitchen to find some wine to help my nerves. There are a couple bottles leftover from dinner the night before. I pop a cork at the same moment as the back door clicks.
I whirl, heartbeat rising.
“Oh God. It’s just you,” I breathe.
Kayleigh stands with her back against the door. She’s in a matching dress and heels, minty fresh against her smooth, tanned skin. Her hair is loose, extensions cascading down her back. Sometimes, I wish I could be as put together as Kayleigh, but we’re just two different types.
“Get me a glass,” she says, voice hushed. “And be quiet. Leland can’t know we’re talking alone.”
I pour her one, and she sinks down at the table. I sit next to her.
“You alright?” I whisper.
She leans in. “Listen, we’re getting you outta here tonight. With Landis.”
A tingle of hope appears.
“What?”
She pops her gum. “Leland and the boys are all going out for a fight in the gorge tonight. I’ve got a driver we can trust to take us to Byway. Then, I’m sending you on to a safe place to meet with Jensen.”
My heart leaps. This is the distraction, the way Brothers plans to roll the dice and give me a chance to get Landis out. “Really?” I whisper.
“Yeah, keep up,” she says, having a sip of wine. “Yuck, this is awful. Anyway, all you need to do is be at the door, and I’ll get you out.”
I take a beat.
“I don’t like you getting involved with this,” I say finally.
Her face softens as she taps her nails on the table, thinking. Finally, she crosses her arms and lets out a little huff. “If I could make a break for it, I would. I’d like you and Landis to get out.”
She doesn’t need to explain why she can’t leave.
Kayleigh was born and bred into this life.
She has no way to make it on her own. Eventually, if she doesn’t make a change that could cost her her life, she’ll be married off to some rich man who gambles at the same tables as Leland. She’s wealthy, but she’s not free.
“Are you sure?” I whisper.
She nods. “I’ve never been more sure.”
Neither of us talk for a while. I wish I could have a glass of wine, but I’m worried about it making me sleepy. I need my wits tonight. Finally, Kayleigh pushes back the chair and stands.
“Be at the back door, off the kitchen, at eleven,” she says, voice low. “Brothers has the driver waiting on the other side of the fence. We just have to cross the yard and get into the SUV before the security notices.”
“And if they notice?”
“We’ll be in the car and on the road before they can alert Leland,” she says. “He’ll be over an hour away, by the highway, into the gorge. Security can’t get there faster than that.”
“There’s no signal,” I say, remembering the time I joined Leland for the fight.
“Nope,” she says.
Hope rises in my chest. “This could actually work.”
She shakes back her hair. “Well, it was my idea, so yeah, it’s a pretty good one.”
We both laugh. Then, impulsively, I hug her hard.
She melts into me, holding me close. Kayleigh always smells good, like sweet perfume, and she leaves traces of glitter from her body spray wherever she goes.
I love it, it’s like her signature. When she pulls back, her eyes are wet, makeup a little melted.
“Kayleigh,” I whisper. “What happens to you if you get caught?”
“I won’t,” she says.
“Why don’t you leave?” I burst out. “Go to Brothers after we’re gone, get your happily ever after.”
She sniffs, wiping her face. “It’s not that simple.”
“But why?”
“Because I’ll just be trading one crime lord for another,” she says.
“Brothers is a good man, but he’s a terrible person.
What am I supposed to do with him if I got him?
I’m twenty-five, he’s…like fifty. Plus, if he lost the territory war, that would be it for me.
I don’t think Leland would let me live.”
Everything she’s saying makes sense, but the part of me that healed when I met Jensen wants to believe they could make it.
“I’m pretty well trapped,” she whispers. “Unless I grow wings and fly away, this is my life.”
There’s a step in the front hallway. She coils back, listening. The footsteps come closer. She backs up to the side exit and pulls the door open.
“Eleven, right here,” she says.
Then, she’s gone. I grab her wine glass and put it in the dishwasher just as Leland strides in, still wearing his suit from his day at work.
It takes everything not to recoil at his presence.
It’s dead air, a slippery slope down to hell.
His eyes narrow as they settle on me, and a chill goes down my spine.
Why does he look like he’s plotting something?
“Hi,” I whisper.
“By now, it’s around town that you’re home,” he says, sitting on the edge of the table.
I just nod, unsure how to respond.
“I’d like you to eat with me, upstairs in our room,” he says. “Dinner is at six. I have an engagement afterwards.”
“Oh, I…um…that’s fine,” I stammer out.
He’s got his hands folded, working his wedding band. He never took it off when I divorced him.
“I laid out a dress on the bed,” he says. “Wear it.”
Before I can respond, he gets up and walks out. I catch the faint sound of his phone ringing, and then the door to his office slams. My hands tingle, and I look down, realizing I’m clenching them so hard, they’re red.
Steeling myself, I leave the kitchen and march straight upstairs. I’ve endured hundreds of terrible dinners with Leland. Tonight is no different. I just need to get through it and get him out the door.
Then, I never have to see him again.
Our old bedroom is open. I slip in and flick my eyes over the room.
Everything is exactly the same, except my side table is empty.
There’s even that ugly family heirloom Leland valued so much hanging over the bed—a gold knife with the Caudill crest on the handle.
I used to look up at that while he was fucking me from behind, hoping it would fall and skewer him.
Then, I’d feel guilty for having thoughts that dark.
There’s a blood red dress, short and tight, on the edge of the bed. My stomach sinks. That’s not my color. I look terrible in red.
God, that makes me so angry, I could crack a tooth from how hard I’m gritting my jaw. I’ve told him that so many times. Red washes me out, I’d say. He’d narrow his eyes and let me know I should wear what he liked best.
Wrathfully, I tear off my clothes and pull on the little red dress, adjusting my breasts so they’re spilling out over the top.
There’s gold jewelry on the bench at the end of the bed.
I slip it on and go to the closet to find a pair of shoes.
My things are still here, lined up in rows.
I grab the closest pair of brown leather cowboy boots and step into them.
The door opens, then shuts. I back out of the closet to find someone came in and pulled the two person dining table out, setting it up before the fireplace before leaving. There are two silver covered dishes waiting. A bottle of wine. Two glasses.
I stare.
Now would have been the perfect opportunity to poison Leland, just slip it in his drink. Nobody would even have to show up for the fight tonight. I could grab Landis and run. But even after everything he’s done, I know I don’t have the heart to murder him.
No, I just want him gone. He can live out his miserable life knowing I took everything.
The door creaks open again. My pulse picks up like a racehorse in the final lap, and I sink down at the table without turning. The chair is hauntingly familiar; we used to eat in the bedroom a lot, back when Landis was little and still nursing and we didn’t have guests.
He sinks down, filling my vision. I blink, eyes blurry.
“I thought you might like to join me tonight,” he says.
He pours the wine, handing me a glass. I bring it to my lips but don’t drink.
“Thank you,” I say finally.
“I meant for my engagement later on,” he says, lifting the covers off our food. “There’s a fight in the gorge tonight. I want you to come, as my wife. Wear that dress.”
No, that’s not right—I have to stay here tonight.
Wordless, I shake my head. He pauses, leaning his elbows on the table to look at me head on.
“Are you saying no?” he asks softly.
I wet my lips. “I just… You know I didn’t really like it last time.”
He puts a slice of chicken in his mouth, chews, swallows, then pauses. “You know, I actually don’t give a fuck if you like it or not. You came back, and we agreed you would be a good wife. That includes attending any and all events I need you to.”
“I’m just so tired—” I burst out.
He slices through the chicken on his plate. “Della, you will go with me tonight.”
“Leland—”
He sets his utensils down. “This is not a fucking democracy.”
His harsh voice cuts through the room, letting me know this conversation is over. I look down at my food, white sauce pooled over chicken and steamed asparagus. It’s good, but it’s not the kind of food I crave. I close my eyes, willing the tears not to fall.
Behind my eyelids, I see Jensen standing on the porch with a handkerchief full of crawfish. We stood at the sink, eating it and the gas station rice out of chipped bowls. It was the best food I’d ever had.
A tear escapes.
It isn’t about the food. It never was. It was about all the life cooked into it, about having a man like Jensen who loves me, who makes every minute of my life feel like it’s worth more than gold.
“Stop crying,” he says.
Hastily, I wipe the tear away and nod. He goes back to eating, not caring that I’m silent. He’s used to it. Jensen would have noticed, because all I did was talk his ear off.
We finish our food in silence. I sit miserably at the table while he gets ready.
Then, I let him push me numbly out into the hall.
My heart is so sore. Not just from this, but from the last few months.
Instinctively, my body pivots to the nursery, hoping for a glimpse of Landis asleep before I go, but Leland turns me around and points me down the stairs.
We’re in the front doorway when I look back and see Kayleigh, her shocked face peering out of the hall.
“I’m sorry,” I try to say with my eyes.
She shakes her head, giving me a watery smile.
“I’ve got this,” she silently mouths. “I’ll do it.”
My heart is pounding in my throat, but I nod, trying to smile back. Leland pushes me through the door. He holds the door to the SUV open, though not on account of being a gentleman. I think he’s always a little afraid I’ll reach back into that Harlan scrappiness and make a break for it.
If I didn’t have Landis to think about, I just might.