Chapter 44
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
JENSEN
I’m woken by the sensation of being watched. The hair on the back of my neck prickles. Carefully, I open my eyes and meet a pair of little ones, narrowed. Abruptly, I push myself upright. He’s holding the blanket from the guest room tightly in both arms like it’s a stuffed animal.
“Hi,” he whispers.
“Hey, kid,” I say, clearing my throat. I glance over at the inert lump on Della’s side of the bed.
“I’m hungry,” Landis says. “Can I have pancakes?”
Still confused from sleep, I nod, pushing the covers back. “Yeah, let’s go make breakfast.”
He waits while I pull on a t-shirt, then he follows me down to the kitchen. My heart is damn near pumping out of my chest. I’ve never been shy, but suddenly, I’m feeling it, wondering if he’s going to take a good look at me and decide I’m not father material.
I pull out the chair. He scrambles into it. He’s in his pajamas, which still smell like smoke. Before we go to the courthouse, we’re going to have to buy both him and Della a new wardrobe.
“Do you know where my fox is?” he asks.
I freeze. “Your fox?”
“My toy I sleep with. It’s a stuffed fox,” he explains.
“So, uh, I think it might have gotten lost last night,” I say. “But I’ll take you and let you pick out whatever you want from the general store. They have toys.”
I can tell that only half satisfies him, but he nods. “Okay, that’s fine.”
Unsure of myself, I take the pan out and start making pancakes from a mix I keep in the freezer. Landis’ eyes follow me like tractor beams, soaking in my every move. Finally, I set his plate down in front of him and get to making coffee.
“You’re probably wondering where your dad is,” I say. “Your mom and you should talk later.”
He shakes his head. “My dad is always gone until bedtime.”
I falter, burning my hand on the percolator as I set it down. “He was never at home?”
He shakes his head, picking up his fork. “It was just me and Georgie, but she was going to quit and go away. That’s what Aunt Kayleigh said. Where’s Aunt Kayleigh?”
I clear my throat. “She…she had to leave for a bit.”
“Okay,” he says, face falling. “Did everyone have to go away?”
I pick up my coffee and sit opposite him. “I’m not going away, and neither is your mom. We’re staying.”
He starts sawing at the pancakes with the side of his fork. “Okay. That’s okay,” he says. “Can you cut this for me?”
I lean over, cutting the pancakes for him. It didn’t occur to me that kids can’t do much for themselves at age four. He watches until it’s done, then takes his fork back.
“Thanks,” he says. “My house set on fire last night.”
I sink down again, feeling like I’m in a game of dodgeball. “Yeah, that’s true.”
“I like this house,” he says.
“Thanks. I made it.”
His brows lift, attention piqued. “You made the whole house?”
He’s impressed. That’s a win for me. “Yeah, I did.”
“Can you make me a house?”
“Sure, a treehouse, if that’s what you want,” I say. “So long as your mom says it’s fine.”
“She probably will,” he says.
He eats some more, cleaning the plate with alarming quickness. I get him some water because the milk is expired, making a mental note to ask Della to come up with a list of food for him later. He accepts the cup, checking it over before taking a careful sip from the open top.
“I like juice,” he says.
“Sorry, little guy. We don’t have any.”
The stairs creak, and it’s a relief to see Della appear, in my shirt and shorts. Last night, after we showered, she balled up the lingerie and dressing gown and asked me to throw it into the trash outside. I just never want to see anything from him again, she whispered. I get that.
She goes right to Landis, bending to kiss the top of his head.
“How’d you sleep, sweetie?” she murmurs.
“Good,” he says. “Jensen’s going to make me a treehouse.”
She looks up, brow arching. “Oh, really?”
“Not very high off the ground,” I amend.
She circles, her soft hand skimming my shoulders as she leans into me.
Landis watches us, not missing a thing. He’s a smart kid, I can tell by the way he soaks everything in around him.
That means Della is going to have to do a lot of explaining to make sense of what happened and why everything is changing.
I wish I could help, but that’s not my place. Yet.
“I’m gonna run into town and get you both clothes,” I say. “Then, we have a date at the courthouse.”
She blushes, kissing my hair. “Thank you for taking care of us.”
“Of course, baby,” I say.
I squeeze her arm, and she rests her chin on my head. We stay like that for a second before I shift, getting to my feet. Landis puts his cup down and looks up at me.
“Where are you going?” he asks.
“To the store to get you some new clothes,” I say, reaching for a piece of scrap paper and a pen. “You want me to see if they have a stuffed fox at the store?”
“Yeah,” he says, face lighting up.
Della sinks down in my chair. “Oh no, I didn’t get his fox.”
“Don’t worry,” I say. “I’ll find something.”
I go into town with the list of everything we need in hand.
Most of the groceries and clothes are easy to find, but it takes a half hour to find a stuffed fox.
I’m about to give up and face a hard conversation with Landis, but just as I’m getting into my truck, I look across the road at a little boutique in South Platte and see one sitting in the window.
I’m across the street in seconds, opening my wallet. The damn thing is thirty dollars, but that’s fine. No way in hell I’m leaving without it.
When I get back, they’re both showered and ready. Della is quieter than usual, and there’s a flush to her face. She gets Landis dressed, not meeting my eyes, and sends him downstairs to get a snack before we leave. I catch her around the waist, her slip silky under my fingers.
“You’re feeling some kind of way,” I say.
She gives me a look, but she’s blushing even harder.
“Is it wrong for me to be excited for my wedding?” she says.
“It’s the only way I want you.”
She lets me kiss her, nice and deep. Then, she’s ducking into the bathroom and locking the door. I’m in my Sunday clothes, pants with suspenders to keep them horizontal and a crisp blue shirt. I don’t own a suit, never had a reason to, but this is good enough. I think she’ll take me as I am.
Downstairs, Landis stands in the kitchen, eating the sandwich Della left out for him. I pour him a glass of milk. He chugs the entire thing in one go then hands it back to me, nodding his appreciation.
Impressed, I put it in the sink. When he’s grown, I have a few bars we can hit up.
“Can we wait on the porch?” he asks.
“Sure thing,” I say, leading the way down the hallway.
He scampers after me, perching on the top step. “My mom takes a while to get ready,” he says.
“That’s alright,” I say, sitting beside him. “I got nowhere to be but here.”
We sit in silence. Then, he starts going at it with the questions.
That’s a big field, he points out. How long is it?
Can he go into the barn? How many horses do I own?
Can he have a horse with a long mane and tail?
What are the mountains called, especially the great big one in the distance?
That’s Sovereign Mountain, I tell him. I’ll take you out there real soon.
He says that’s fine, but why can’t we go today?
And can he ride in the back of the truck?
That one, I go ahead and give him a firm no.
He pushes out his lower lip but recovers at light speed.
“I like my room upstairs. Can I keep it?” he asks.
“Yeah, reckon you can,” I say.
It’s like being in the ring, just one after another. It’s a relief when Della steps outside. Then, I forget all about whether I’m doing a good job answering Landis’ questions, because the prettiest girl in the world is right here.
She’s glowing in her white sundress with little purple flowers. It’s like looking right into the sun.
I open my mouth to say something inappropriate, but then I remember Landis is right there, and I need to start watching my words. Instead, I get up and hold out my hand. She gives me a shy smile.
“You ready?” she says.
“More than ready,” I say. “Come on. Let’s go before you change your mind.”