Chapter 19 Evan
EVAN
My heart jolts when I see my mom, yet I can’t bring myself to let go of Jericho. Not after the last forty minutes wondering if he’s alive.
“Uh, hey,” I say awkwardly.
Mom’s eyes glint as they dart between us, and for a dreadful moment, I fear what she’s going to say.
There is no denying what Jericho and I were about to do, especially with the way we were holding each other.
Will she hate it? Reject it? She already doesn’t trust him as a vampire.
I doubt she’ll like him as my boyfriend.
“I had to be sure you were okay,” she says simply.
I frown. Does she mean me or Jericho?
“You are okay, right?” she asks Jericho. “Grant made it sound like you’re going to be okay?”
Jericho nods. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”
I grind my teeth together. He needs to stop saying that.
Mom shifts from foot to foot, then stifles a yawn. Knowing her, she stayed awake the entire drive from Spokane, and then she stayed by my side during all the chaos of the vampires showing up. She needs sleep.
I squeeze Jericho’s hand. “I’ll be right back, okay?”
He nods, giving me a private smile. “Take your time.”
I go to Mom, wrapping one arm around her shoulders as I guide her to the door. “Can I walk you upstairs? You look like you need some sleep.”
She makes a face. “I think we all do. What a rush.”
Mom is quiet as we make our way upstairs, and we both pause at her door when Jasmine exits the room, tying her hair back in a ponytail.
“Oh, Evelyn! I just put some more tea on your nightstand. It should help you sleep.”
Mom smiles at her. “Thank you.”
“It’s really good stuff,” I say. There is no way I would have slept last night without it.
Jasmine touches her arm. “I’m so sorry about all this.”
Mom doesn’t miss a beat. “Oh, it’s okay. I’m just trying not to be in the way.”
“I meant about you. You’ve been through so much in such a short time. I wouldn’t be surprised if you slept two days straight.” She gives me a knowing smirk. “But anyway, if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
“Where’s William?” I ask, suddenly remembering the shifter that drove Mom here. I haven’t seen him since just before the vampires showed up.
“I think he’s downstairs talking to Forest. He’s going to stay a couple of days to help out.”
Good. That’ll give me time to thank him for protecting my mom.
We enter the room and Mom gasps as she turns on the lights. “Oh, wow.”
“That’s what I said,” I tease. “This place is beautiful, isn’t it?”
Her room is similar to ours, only set up in the opposite direction and lighter tones.
Her bed has a beige duvet with red accents to match the luxurious drapes.
The high ceiling and large paintings make the room seem even bigger, and the ceramic vases with silk plants add an elegant touch to the ivory dressers.
Everything about the room should make Mom feel right at home. She loves this sort of shit.
Mom kicks off her shoes then sits on her bed, thumbing through the stack of clothes Jasmine left for her. I chew my lip before taking a seat next to her. I have no idea what I’m going to say, but I need to try.
“You okay?” I ask.
“I should be asking you that. I’m your mother.”
I reach for her hand. “You’ve been through a lot.”
“So have you,” she replies, bumping my shoulder. “Must have been hard, seeing Jericho like that.”
I look away, afraid she’ll see too much, but the emotion comes anyway. “Yeah. It was. God, I… it fucking hurt, Mom. I kind of lost it for a minute.”
She scoots closer.
“It’s just, things are so fucked up now, but at the same time… they’re also starting to make sense. Like, really make sense. I see things now that I didn’t before.”
She doesn’t say anything, but her expression is soft. Inviting. Like she’s waiting for me to say it.
“What I mean is, I see Jericho differently. He and I… we’ve realized what we mean to each other, and I think we’re more than friends now.
He’s my… boyfriend.” Excitement flutters in my belly saying that out loud, but it feels right.
Jericho might think it’s fast after only one kiss, but no.
We’ve been building to this for years. “Or we’re heading there anyway.
I can feel it. I really care about him. More than I ever realized. ”
Mom pulls my hand closer. “Oh, honey. Do you really think I’m surprised?”
I whip my head up. “You should be, because I sure as hell am!”
She chuckles. “Maybe a little, but I’ve always seen how close you two are.
It’s deeper than normal friendships, which is something I’ve always wanted for you.
” She hesitates, before brushing some hair away.
“Besides, I don’t think you would have spent so much time, energy, and money looking for him if you didn’t love him. ”
I blink hard. Did she really see it before me? And love? Do I love Jericho? As more than a best friend?
“You’re really okay with it?”
She pulls away, taking a deep breath. “The only reservation I have is because of what he is, not that he’s a man.
I’ve seen the dark side of vampires, and it just scares me to think of what he might do.
I mean, you saw him tonight. You saw how close he was to losing control. If Grant hadn’t been there…”
“He could’ve shoved Grant away and he didn’t,” I say quickly. “He has more control than you think.”
“Are you sure of that? You hardly know him like this, Evan.”
When I say nothing, she tilts her head like only a concerned mother can.
The look that says, “You know I’m right.
” I want to hate her for it, because deep down, I know she is.
Jericho was barely in control tonight, and that scared me.
But seeing him hurt? Seeing him in pain? That scared me even more.
If nothing else, tonight is a reminder that Jericho and I need to have a serious conversation.
“You’re my son, Evan,” Mom says softly. “I will always worry about you.”
I give her a side hug before pulling her in for a bigger one. I squeeze her hard, pleading with her to understand. “I trust him. I always have. Whatever happens, I know he won’t hurt me, because he cares for me just as much as I care about him.” Maybe even loves me.
She pulls back to search my eyes. “Then I’ll try to trust him too. Just be careful, okay?”
“I will.” I get up and head to the door. “I’ll let you sleep. See you in the morning?”
She looks at the pillows, then the mug of steaming tea. “Or in two days, if I have any say in it.”
I laugh. “Love you.”
“Love you too, hon.”
I close the door behind me then head straight back downstairs in search of Jericho. When I reach the medic room, I come to an abrupt stop. It’s empty, except for Red who is mixing some sort of creamy goop in a bowl.
“Where’s Jer?”
Red looks up, then smiles at me “He went to take a shower.” He tips his head toward the door across the hall.
My cheeks burn, and I quickly avert my eyes. Yet, slowly, my attention drifts to the bathroom door. Jericho’s in there? Naked?
Fuck me…
“Feel free to join him,” Red teases. “I wouldn’t judge.”
“Oh, I don’t know that he’d… I mean, I don’t know if we’re… ” I stammer, backing away. “I’ll just wait for him out there.”
“Suit yourself,” he says.
I turn on my heel to leave the room, but when I reach the stairs, I think better of it. The truth is, I want to see him. I need to. Honestly, I’d love to climb in the shower with Jericho, just to hold him. Especially after the stress of the morning.
But this isn’t how I wanted it to be when we touched each other for the first time.
Not with Jericho’s leg all torn to pieces and possibly still dripping blood.
He needs to heal first. And we need to talk.
Like, really talk. Because deep down, I know my mom is right.
I really don’t know Jericho in this form at all.
I want Jericho. I know I do. But am I truly okay with all of this?
With him? He’s a fucking vampire! He survives on blood!
And let’s not forget the people he’s killed, all because he wasn’t in control.
Was he really in control today, or was Grant the one holding him back?
He could’ve easily thrown Grant aside and come after me, but…
he didn’t. And I don’t know how much of that was because of Grant, or himself.
The truth is, if he did come after me, there was little I could do to stop him aside from aiming my gun at him. I couldn’t do that. No matter what happens, I could not shoot Jericho.
Turning, I sink down onto the stairs, resting my head against the wall. This was all getting to be too much.
“You should get some sleep.”
I look up to see Sage watching me. “I doubt I’ll be able to.”
“I can make you some tea?”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to sleep, Sage. I want…” I let out a sigh. “I need to process all of this.”
He studies me for a long moment, like he knows I’m struggling with so much more than just what happened tonight. “I’m here if you need me,” he says softly, patting my shoulder and walking away.
I’m grateful he doesn’t push it, even though I get the sense that he knows what I’m going through.
Was he attracted to women before he met Red?
The two are so oddly matched. I never would have thought someone like Sage could be attracted to someone like Red, yet here they are, and they work.
They’re happy. Happier than literally any other couple I know.
Jericho and I have always worked that way too. We’ve been two peas in a pod from that very first day in Biology class. He’s always understood me better than anyone.
Don’t I feel the same about him? Don’t I know him, even now? I feel like I do. Except for the vampire side.
I need to talk to him and not let him shy away from all the gory details.
We’ve only skimmed the surface of what he goes through now, and I need Jericho to be honest with me about it all.
I need to understand where his head was today so I know how to help him, even if it means knowing when to walk away.
I’d hated that today, yet maybe it was the only thing that kept him from truly coming for me.
With a heavy heart, I turn and head upstairs to our room. I need quiet, and I need Jericho. So I’m going to wait for him where no one else can bother us.
And then I’m going to make him talk.