Chapter 20 Evan #2
He looks away, murmuring, “Sorry. Guess I’ve been a little eager. I didn’t last long.”
I laugh, kissing him soundly on the lips. “You kidding? That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”
He still seems uncertain, so I rock my hips, letting him feel my still rock-hard erection against his. “I definitely like this, Jer.”
He slips a hand between us to stroke me. I’m so sensitive, so close to the edge that it’s almost too much. Leaning down, I kiss him and move astride him. God, how this feels… I had no idea. It’s so good, so right.
Jericho’s touch encourages me, pulling me closer and closer to the edge. When he dips a finger between my ass cheeks, barely touching my sensitive hole, I come so hard my toes curl. I didn’t even know that was possible.
“Jer…icho,” I pant. “Oh shit. Shit!”
He milks me through the orgasm, lips gently grazing my cheek. I drop my head to his shoulder, gasping. His strong arms come around me, holding me tenderly. When I feel his lips against my neck again, I also get the cold, sharp sensation of two fangs.
I shudder.
“I won’t bite you,” he whispers very softly, as if he knows I’m not ready. “I just want to be close to you.”
That’s when something he said comes back to me. It can be very sensual. Which means drinking from someone is not only about food. It’s about intimacy.
My heart beats faster as I consider it. Jericho wants this, and some small part of me—albeit a very small part—wants to give it to him.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I reach up and slice a thumb against one of his fangs. He freezes when I press it against his lips.
“Take it,” I whisper.
Our eyes meet as he draws it in, gently sucking. It doesn’t last long, only a couple of seconds, and when he lets go, I replace my finger with my lips, kissing him soundly. The bitter tang of blood doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I pull away, grinning.
“I really hope you liked this, because I definitely want to do it again. Like, a lot.”
Jericho bursts out laughing, gently rolling me to my side until we’re facing each other. He’s still laughing as he aligns our bodies, one arm around my waist. I can’t be sure, but I think that’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him.
Then his expression hardens and he looks away, his fangs sliding back into their hiding places. And I know why. He’s thinking about earlier. When he’d craved me.
We definitely need to talk.
“Jer,” I say. He doesn’t respond. “Will you help me understand?”
He closes his eyes, but to my relief, he doesn’t shut me out. If anything, he pulls me closer. He knows what I’m talking about.
“Do you remember when we went hiking in the Rocky Mountains a couple years ago? We slipped down that ravine and broke our hydro packs.”
“Yeah.”
“Do you remember how thirsty we were when we got back to the car?”
“Yeah. We downed the bottles of water in the trunk, even though they were too hot. You ended up with a blister on your gums, but at least we didn’t get sick.”
Jericho nods slowly. “It’s like that, only… worse. Much worse. When I crave blood, it burns a hole inside of me. It feels like a demon is taking over or something. If I let it go on too long, I lose myself. And if that happens, there’s nothing I can do until it’s quenched.”
I consider that. “Is that what you felt today?”
“No, but it was close. I wanted you so bad today, Evan. It scared me. The only other time…” He draws in a breath, turning to lie on his back. “The only other time I’ve felt it that strongly is when I’ve killed someone.”
My heart skips a beat. Holy shit. No wonder he asked me to leave.
He rubs at his sternum. “I can’t hurt you. I’ll never forgive myself if I do.”
“Then what can I do? Because this is obviously going to be a thing between us if we want to be together. And I want to be with you, Jericho. I do. But I want all of you. I’m not afraid of—”
“You should be.”
“But I’m not. I trust you. Today was hard, but you did it.”
“Only because Grant was there,” he says, pushing himself up on his elbow.
My heart skips a beat as what he’s saying sinks in. It really wasn’t Jericho holding back then. It was because of Grant.
“And if he wasn’t? Fuck, Ev. I don’t know what would have happened.”
“Okay, but now you know you can resist. And when you tasted me just now, it wasn’t too much for you.”
He drops his gaze, jaw ticking. “It wasn’t enough,” he murmurs. “I still want you, Evan. I think I’ll always want you.”
I hold his face. “Then you need to learn to trust yourself. We’ll keep doing what we just did until you find a balance. It has to be give or take here, so let me give it.”
He studies me carefully before closing a hand around my wrist. I expect him to push me away, but instead he gently kisses the inside of it, right above the vein, before letting go to kiss my mouth. “I don’t deserve you.”
I lie down again, holding him. “Well, too fucking bad. Because for the rest of my miserable life, you’re stuck with me.”
He laughs, though it sounds hollow. Maybe I shouldn’t remind him of my mortality, but it’s just the truth. We can dream of forever, but really, we only have this life. My life.
He kisses me again. “Stay for as long as you can, Ev. Please.”
“I will.”
And I mean it. I’ll spend every day of the rest of my life doing this, if it means being with him. Even if it’s hard, even if it’s dangerous.
Even if it means Jericho drinking from me.
Because vampire or no, he is mine. He’s always been mine.
And I am his.