Chapter 27
Jericho
I know exactly how she feels, and I deserve every bit of her frustration and ire.
I'll never forgive myself either if anything happens to Eli. I don't want to be in a world where he doesn't exist, and I've seen enough evil to know exactly how fucking bad this entire situation is. I've seen men use children as pawns and human shields. I've seen in real life that they do horrific things to other humans that people cringe at when they see it depicted in movies. It makes this ten times harder to face, and there are moments when I wish I was as ignorant of it all as most people are. They're the lucky ones, the ones who can close their eyes at night and not see pale, graying skin, and lifeless eyes.
"Keep me updated, " I tell Kincaid and Hemlock as I sweep Aspen up in my arms and carry her from the room.
She buries her face in my neck as I climb the stairs.
I don't want to make excuses, but I think this woman sees me as the type of man who doesn't think shit through, and there's this desperate need inside of me to explain what happened with the raid on the house Eli was supposed to be in.
"I know you probably don't want to have anything to do with me," I tell her as I lower us into the chair in the corner, making sure to keep my arms locked around her. "But I need you to know that we thought we had good intel when the raid happened in Hartford. Within minutes of me pulling up outside of the salon and picking you up, the team was kicking in that door. The kids had already been moved."
She sniffles, but she doesn't speak, and I hold her just a little tighter, feeling a pinch of relief when she clings to me a little more. I don't doubt that she does hate me as much as she claimed she did in the conference room, and there will always be a part of me that hates myself no matter how this entire situation turns out.
But at least she can also see me as someone to depend on. I have no idea how long it will last. This could work out with Eli coming home, which is the best possible outcome, and she could still hate me. Honestly, as much as it pains me to think that she could hate me forever for the mistakes I've made, the safety of my son is the only thing that matters.
"It doesn't matter that at the time I thought he was Damien's son. If I had thought for a second that what I was doing was putting a child in danger, I never would've risked it," I continue to explain. "That's not how we operate. Working for your father made me realize just how important it was to get kids away from men like him. It's insanity to raise kids in such a toxic and criminal environment. Rarely do they view the world differently from how they were raised. It's how generation after generation keeps growing. It would've been the same for Eli. Damien would've turned him into his protégé."
"If I could go back to him—"
"You can't," I rush out. "No matter what Damien might promise you about how this could all work out, he will never keep his promise. He doesn't have it in him to forgive anyone, and it wouldn't matter that you were practically abducted."
I pull back some and curl my finger under her tear-soaked chin so she's looking at me.
"If you're thinking of taking off and going back to him to protect Eli, it won't work. It'll only get you killed. Tell me you know that," I urge.
"I think if I gave myself back to him, he'd spare Eli. Maybe he'll let you have him."
My heart aches for her reasoning, but there's no bargaining with the devil where anyone comes out on top.
"It won't work," I tell her, selfishly unwilling to even consider watching her go back to such an evil man. "If he doesn't have Eli, he doesn't have power over you. The man is evil, not stupid. Even if he vowed it, he never keeps his promise. He didn't kill me that day out of spite toward your father. He can't be trusted."
"I'll live a life of torture and hatred if it means—"
"I would too," I quickly agree, cutting off her words because I don't want to think about the future pain the man might cause her. What he's done to her already is enough to last a lifetime. "Know that I would lay down my own life to save that of our son, Peach. No questions asked. If that's what Damien wanted, I'd gladly expose my neck for his sword."
I mean every fucking word.
"Maybe if I—"
"No," I say, stopping her again.
I know she wants to bargain. She wants to be able to barter with the man, but there's no way this ends other than with Damien's death.
"I can handle whatever he has planned for me, and it was working. Eli was safe, and it didn't matter how many slaps to the face it took."
I pull her tighter to my chest, resting my chin on the top of her head as she sobs.
I can't guarantee Eli is safe, especially not after finding two shallow graves with dead children in them. The man is capable of anything, and it's possible that our son was gone the day after his last visit with her, as much as it pains me to consider it.
She wasn't keeping him safe because Damien doesn't work that way. It's his way a hundred percent of the time. If Ivan Reese ordered me to be maimed but left alive, he would've slit my throat that night. I'm only alive because Ivan wanted me dead, and I can't help but think that the pain Aspen would feel for losing her son is the reason Damien would do it. He's poison, a cancer that digs in deep and eats away at the very soul of a person, and the way he does that is by hurting the people they love and sparing the ones they hate. Whatever causes the most pain and heartache is what he picks, and that is incredibly bad news for Eli.
"The teams are going back and looking at the places they've searched. They want to see if they missed anything," I explain.
"Graves you mean. They're looking for more graves."
I wish I could tell her that isn't accurate, but lying to her won’t help the situation.
Before I can think of a way to explain it better, my phone vibrates in my pocket. She moves off my lap quickly, her hand automatically going to her mouth as I pull my phone out.
"Yeah," I snap into the phone, my eyes locked on her.
She looks like a caged animal, ready to either hightail it out of here or claw the eyes out of anyone who gets in her way.
"We found something," Hemlock says. "Come back downstairs."
The phone call ends without another word, but I can tell by the tone of his voice that whatever it is isn't good news. The only thing I can breathe a breath of relief over is the fact that he didn't come up here and speak to us in person. That tells me that it may be bad news he has to deliver, but it isn't the worst news it could be.
"They need us back downstairs," I say, standing and reaching out for her hand.
She looks down at the thing as if it will only cause her pain. I can't blame her for the reaction, but living with her head in the sand and refusing to know the truth won't ease anything inside of her either.
After a long moment, she places her hand in mine, and I take one more second to pull her to my body and wrap her in a hug.
We head downstairs and right back into the conference room.
No one speaks until we're inside with the doors closed at our backs, and I know part of that is because of Zara and Cora. Hemlock and Ace want to protect them from this dark part of life as much as they can, while also telling them enough to keep them aware of their surroundings. There's no sense in anyone losing sleep over the shit they can't get out of their heads if it can be helped.
"We found this on the dark web," Casper says. "He must've known we would be looking for it."
The massive television at the front of the room comes to life, and a whimper escapes Aspen's lips at the sight of Eli sitting there tied to a chair as if he's a prisoner of war. I guess, in a way, he sort of is.
This is the first time I'm seeing my son other than a few pictures the guys were able to scrape up online. It's not uncommon for people in certain illegal enterprises to keep all their kids off social media. It's one of the things that keeps them safe. I honestly wish so many others would do the same. It's insane how many regular pictures of children are scraped from the internet and put on the dark web for some of the vilest of reasons.
"He looks terrified," Aspen says with a sob, and I pull my hand from hers and wrap my arm fully around her shoulder.
"But he's alive," I assure her as relief washes over me.
The sight of him scared answers that question I had in the back of my mind, but I don't know how old the video is.
"We've determined that this video was taken just over two hours ago," Casper says as if he can read my mind.
"Is this what you want?" Damien asks as he stumbles toward our son with a gun in his hand.
"Hemlock," I warn.
"We've screened the video," my boss assures me.
I'd punish myself by watching the whole thing, but I'd never make Aspen suffer something like that if it ended that way.
The boy whimpers as the gun is pressed to the side of his head. I can see that he's doing his best to be brave, and I can't help but wonder if he has been punished in the past for showing fear like any normal child would.
"You fucking whore," the evil bastard says, pressing so hard, I can see the strain in Eli's neck as it's pushed to the side. "You leave your son to run off with that traitorous bastard? I have no fucking clue where you are, and I'm done looking for you. I'll give you twenty-four hours to meet me at the summer house. If you're not there in time, all you'll find is his brains on the fucking floor."
The video goes black, and the last thing I hear is Eli asking, "Daddy, why?"